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At 35 childless and thinking of divorce

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    #32
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Nowhere in your last post do you even remark about communicating with your husband

    It's not as simple as "if he loves me hell come with me".


    He could say the same about you.


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    #33
    scobysnacks
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭scobysnacks


    I have spoken to him many times about the issues. He got burned pretty badly in Australia so doesn't want to move. He is also committed to an MBA for the next few years, has his family here and loves his job. He understands how I feel about Brazil but he said the same would happen to him in another country. He doesn't want me to leave, but wants me to be happy too. Part of the reason why he won't have kids with me is that he is afraid that I will leave Brazil with the child. I couldn't promise that wouldn't ever happen, as the education system here is appalling and also safety is an issue. It's complicated, if we were both Irish everything would be fine but we're not.


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    #34
    jantheman91
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,051 ✭✭✭jantheman91


    scobysnacks wrote: »
    I have spoken to him many times about the issues. He got burned pretty badly in Australia so doesn't want to move. He is also committed to an MBA for the next few years, has his family here and loves his job. He understands how I feel about Brazil but he said the same would happen to him in another country. He doesn't want me to leave, but wants me to be happy too. Part of the reason why he won't have kids with me is that he is afraid that I will leave Brazil with the child. I couldn't promise that wouldn't ever happen, as the education system here is appalling and also safety is an issue. It's complicated, if we were both Irish everything would be fine but we're not.

    Do what's best for you. Don't spend time worrying about another persons feelings at the cost of your own. This may sound completely selfish but in reality your personal happiness is and should be your number one priority.

    I understand that you love your husband but the facts are clear. He's happy in Brasil, you're not. You want kids, he does not.

    I wish you well and i hope it all works out whatever you choose to do!


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    #35
    Katy89
    Registered Users Posts: 126 ✭✭Katy89


    OP, just wanted to say sorry that I mistakenly read your husband muttered the words 'go home foreigner, although it was the man in the shop.
    sorry.


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    #36
    feargale
    Registered Users Posts: 8,636 ✭✭✭feargale


    I strongly believe, given how complicated your story is, that you should involve a neutral professional, that you both should take counselling together. It won't hurt either of you to do so, and you are not obliged to take the advice given. If money is an issue, and if you are religious, your church may be able to help re counselling. Otherwise, I wouldnt see it costing the earth, and it should be money well spent. Your latest posts give extra information which slightly alters the colour of the story. All the more reason why I think people here, who don't know you, and haven't met you or your husband face to face, should be slow in offering cut and dried advice.


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