October 2013 Babies Club

nikpmup

9 and a half hours! I'm so jealous!! :P

inlikeflynn86

Roesy wrote: »

Inlikeflynn, that sounds like a lovely evening. At least you didn't do what I did at my surprise 30th and walk straight back out the door with the fright

Miracle of miracles. I may have had a full nights sleep. I have no recollection of even waking for the bathroom. If so that means I slept straight through from about 11.30/45-9.15 ! I don't this has happened once since I got pregnant.

I'm jealous of your sleep !!! Sounds like heaven!!

groucho marx

aww Im also so jealous of the sleep!!

Anyone here suffering paranoia?? The last few days I feel people asking how I am even partner asking and Im feeling like why are you asking now, been rough since January so pointless asking me when its about to happen. Oh god Im so catty, need to calm!

nikpmup

groucho marx wrote: »

aww Im also so jealous of the sleep!!

Anyone here suffering paranoia?? The last few days I feel people asking how I am even partner asking and Im feeling like why are you asking now, been rough since January so pointless asking me when its about to happen. Oh god Im so catty, need to calm!

I get a text from my mam every morning asking "are you ok?!" Bless her, she's just concerned, but if I don't reply with details immediately she's on the blower assuming I've come down with some dastardly pregnancy related ailment!
And it is starting to get slightly disconcerting that everywhere I go people insist that I sit - whether I want to or not! Sitting on hard seats or seats without s backrest is often worse than standing but I don't feel I can argue!

groucho marx

I think after 9 months of other peoples advise Im starting to feel like people think giving me a baby is like giving it to the elephant man. Think its just getting to be a bit much now. Ive one frend who was on again this morning, she means well but she kinda laughs down at my responses and says well what I did was and you`ll soon learn. When she says you'll soon learn I think that triggers me.

nikpmup

groucho marx wrote: »

I think after 9 months of other peoples advise Im starting to feel like people think giving me a baby is like giving it to the elephant man. Think its just getting to be a bit much now. Ive one frend who was on again this morning, she means well but she kinda laughs down at my responses and says well what I did was and you`ll soon learn. When she says you'll soon learn I think that triggers me.

Oh, that drives me mental!!! Not so much do-gooders doling out (usually unasked for) advise, but the smug assumption that I will be clueless and make a haims of it all, and won't be able to cope. First off - I'm a fairly capable 37 yr old woman with a supportive partner and family, I'm not a frightened 16 year old. Secondly, I'm a professional caregiver. I am able to care for large groups of grown men who have severe learning disabilities and severe challenging and often violent behaviours... But yes, one child will be too much for me to cope with. Thirdly, every family unit is different and has their own dynamic; as is every child - what works for one won't necessarily work for the next. Lastly - you coped (as in the 'you' that's assuming I won't!) - if you managed I'm sure I will!
And yes, the 'you'll learn' line makes me homocidal as well!!!

Das Kitty

I've a friend who's very neat and tidy and people take great pleasure telling her how that will have to change when the baby takes over.

A. It's not true
B. Even if it was what's to be gained from going on at her apart from a feeling of superiority.

I remember everyone telling me that I could forget about having hobbies until James was in secondary school. Well smart-arses, I wrote a novel last November whilst working full time and having a 3 year old to care for.

nikpmup

Das Kitty wrote: »

I've a friend who's very neat and tidy and people take great pleasure telling her how that will have to change when the baby takes over.

A. It's not true
B. Even if it was what's to be gained from going on at her apart from a feeling of superiority.

I remember everyone telling me that I could forget about having hobbies until James was in secondary school. Well smart-arses, I wrote a novel last November whilst working full time and having a 3 year old to care for.

On the flipside, I've a friend who assures me I'll never have a clean house again - I think she says this as an excuse to maintain her own house like a pigsty! If you are a tidy person, you'll remain tidy, and you'll teach your kids to be tidy too. If you're not, you won't - having kids won't change that.

Roesy

The ones that annoy me the most are being given a blow by excruciating blow account of a traumatic sounding labour and then being told by the same person a year or two later when you are pregnant how magical, special and empowering they found labour and delivery. Oh and the obvious 'that'll all change when the baby comes'. This seems to be applicable to every aspect of your life from not being up at 7am on a Saturday morning/having a clean house/seeing a current film or tv show.

nikpmup

Roesy wrote: »

The ones that annoy me the most are being given a blow by excruciating blow account of a traumatic sounding labour and then being told by the same person a year or two later when you are pregnant how magical, special and empowering they found labour and delivery. Oh and the obvious 'that'll all change when the baby comes'. This seems to be applicable to every aspect of your life from not being up at 7am on a Saturday morning/having a clean house/seeing a current film or tv show.

Ah yes, the labour stories. Yes, I'm heavily pregnant. Yes, I met you fifteen minutes ago. Yes, I'd dearly love to hear about your horrific labour. Your perineum ripped all the way up to your *ss?! My, that's a lovely tale to share in Starbucks. No, please, you finish my muffin, I'm not hungry anymore.

lolademmers

Ah yes our lives/bodies/houses/social lives will never be the same again. God people can be so rude. I think my baby is gonna make up for anything I'm missing. I'm 30 I don't want to be clubbing every weekend !!

nikpmup

lolademmers wrote: »

Ah yes our lives/bodies/houses/social lives will never be the same again. God people can be so rude. I think my baby is gonna make up for anything I'm missing. I'm 30 I don't want to be clubbing every weekend !!

Ha ha! That's gas, people haven't stopped telling me how I'm NEVER going out again!! I spent a good chunk of my misspent youth falling out of various clubs, im not going to miss it for a few years!

Madisson

I met a next door neighbour of my mam's friend today that has a 9 month old and she was the first person ive met that was possitive and encouraging about the whole thing telling me that she still makes time to treat herself to things and just takes help from the people that are around her.

Im sick of the people telling me i wont ever get a full nights sleep again or telling me i wont have time to go to the gym to get my body back because ill be too busy with a baby or that i wont be able to have a night out with friends or the fools that like to tell you their labour stories. I havent looked up a thing about labour or anything, my sister had a section, she was sore after it but recovered well and everything was grand, people have natural births everyday and are fine after it... that is all the information i want to know.. if i read up or listen to stories ill scare myself before anything even starts and that isnt going to get me anywhere!

Its as if these people hate their lives and just want to knock you down a peg or two because youre being possitive.

nikpmup

Madisson wrote: »

Im sick of the people telling me i wont ever get a full nights sleep again or telling me i wont have time to go to the gym to get my body back because ill be too busy with a baby or that i wont be able to have a night out with friends or the fools that like to tell you their labour stories. I havent looked up a thing about labour or anything, my sister had a section, she was sore after it but recovered well and everything was grand, people have natural births everyday and are fine after it... that is all the information i want to know.. if i read up or listen to stories ill scare myself before anything even starts and that isnt going to get me anywhere!

Its as if these people hate their lives and just want to knock you down a peg or two because youre being possitive.

Yeah, there seems to be an element of that alright. Also, there seems to be an element of, if you don't 1000% agree with my choices then you're wrong - eg, I had a section/epidural/whatever, you should have one too, you don't know what you're letting yourself in for!
Also, fear and apprehension makes dealing with anything worse - why would you want to rile me up and fill me with fear, thereby potentially making my labour more difficult? If I'm asked about, for example, having an anaesthetic by someone who is about to have surgery, I'm not going to tell them it's terrible and terrifying, that's just cruel! I'll tell them that it's fine, and try to put their mind at ease. It seems some people have to shout about their war stories regardless if the effect it might have on others.

inlikeflynn86

groucho marx wrote: »

aww Im also so jealous of the sleep!!

Anyone here suffering paranoia?? The last few days I feel people asking how I am even partner asking and Im feeling like why are you asking now, been rough since January so pointless asking me when its about to happen. Oh god Im so catty, need to calm!

I cant move on the couch without getting an "ya ok?" He means well but im going to crack soon :-(

groucho marx

At the ripe age of 31 being told "You`ll soon learn the value of money and believe me you wont be buying everything else new"..... heaven forbid I work 50 hour weeks and then spend the money on new stuff for my 1st new baby.
I find it beyond condescending. At this age really do I need financial advise.

Yea love been told oh you`ll never leave the house again..............Yep child has a father too so Id say I might just leave the house again.
What was the other one, oh yes my house will never be clean again, sorry no I don't believe Ill become a slob after I give birth, my house is clean because I wont live in a mess.... I wouldn't be rude enough to say to this person what was the excuse for the mess they live in before the child was born. Drive you mad.

KCC

Madisson wrote: »

Im sick of the people telling me i wont ever get a full nights sleep again or telling me i wont have time to go to the gym to get my body back because ill be too busy with a baby or that i wont be able to have a night out with friends or the fools that like to tell you their labour stories. I havent looked up a thing about labour or anything, my sister had a section.

Just to give you my own experience of this: I was also fed all this bs by friends and family but:

I didn't get the baby blues even for a minute, my baby slept through the night from 6 weeks on, I started diet at 4 weeks, gym at 6 weeks and got my body fully back in 5 months from baby's birth (and I had put on a lot of weight when pregnant). House remained clean and tidy throughout. Went on nights out as often as I liked (which tbh was rare enough but was out of choice).

Re: labour stories - everyone likes to talk about their experience of it - it's such an extraordinary experience.

nikpmup

KCC wrote: »

Just to give you my own experience of this: I was also fed all this bs by friends and family but:

I didn't get the baby blues even for a minute, my baby slept through the night from 6 weeks on, I started diet at 4 weeks, gym at 6 weeks and got my body fully back in 5 months from baby's birth (and I had put on a lot of weight when pregnant). House remained clean and tidy throughout. Went on nights out as often as I liked (which tbh was rare enough but was out of choice).

Re: labour stories - everyone likes to talk about their experience of it - it's such an extraordinary experience.

I've no problem with people sharing labour stories, but IMO it's just mean when they drive home the AGONY and the PAIN and the FEAR OF GOD and how utterly HORRIFIC it all was! FWIW, I have heard some positive birth stories too, but there seems to be a clatter of women who just feel the need to try to make their own labour out to be the worst one ever, while at the same time trying to put the fear of god into you!! (Disclaimer - These generally would be the type of woman who, lets just say, feel the need to be centre stage a lot! )

Madisson

KCC wrote: »

Just to give you my own experience of this: I was also fed all this bs by friends and family but:

I didn't get the baby blues even for a minute, my baby slept through the night from 6 weeks on, I started diet at 4 weeks, gym at 6 weeks and got my body fully back in 5 months from baby's birth (and I had put on a lot of weight when pregnant).

Getting my body back is the thing thats getting to me the most, people saying that it will never be the same again.."sure look at me 10 years on i still have a belly"... it freaks me out!! I was always the kind of person that if i put on a pound id know about it and do something about it.. good to hear a positive story

nikpmup

Madisson wrote: »

I was always the kind of person that if i put on a pound id know about it and do something about it

If that's the case you'll get your body back in no time - the folk that still have a belly after ten years still have the belly because they eat crap and don't exercise; nothing to do with pregnancy. I say this as a FFP (formerly fat person!) who knows - if you want to lose weight/tone up - really really wishing it would happen ain't gonna do it! I can't wait to get back to running; I'll be out in my asics as soon as I'm fit to (perhaps with a bigger shock absorber bra!!)

groucho marx

Bad period type twinges all nite,keepin me awake.
This is karma for bitchen ;-)

Das Kitty

Madisson, my body was better after having a baby once I lost the weight.

I have a waist now. I was very straight up and down before.

Also, my sex life actually improved. So there's another myth busted.

It's 10am and I'm having a nice leisurely wake up after a night out last night. So tell the naysayers to shove it!

I seem to have a head old though. Typical.

But tomorrow I can have all the good drugs! Woo!

knock13

nikpmup wrote: »

Oh, that drives me mental!!! Not so much do-gooders doling out (usually unasked for) advise, but the smug assumption that I will be clueless and make a haims of it all, and won't be able to cope. First off - I'm a fairly capable 37 yr old woman with a supportive partner and family, I'm not a frightened 16 year old. Secondly, I'm a professional caregiver. I am able to care for large groups of grown men who have severe learning disabilities and severe challenging and often violent behaviours... But yes, one child will be too much for me to cope with. Thirdly, every family unit is different and has their own dynamic; as is every child - what works for one won't necessarily work for the next. Lastly - you coped (as in the 'you' that's assuming I won't!) - if you managed I'm sure I will!
And yes, the 'you'll learn' line makes me homocidal as well!!!

Go girl! You tell em!! We will all learn as did every new mom before us!

nikpmup

Das Kitty wrote: »

Madisson, my body was better after having a baby once I lost the weight.

I have a waist now. I was very straight up and down before.

Also, my sex life actually improved. So there's another myth busted.

It's 10am and I'm having a nice leisurely wake up after a night out last night. So tell the naysayers to shove it!

I seem to have a head old though. Typical.

But tomorrow I can have all the good drugs! Woo!

Can't believe it's tomorrow! Wow! I'm jealous, you're getting to meet your little man!

nikpmup

Stomach not well at all. That'll teach me to eat fajitas late in the evening followed by my body weight in chocolate. Ugh.

Roesy

nikpmup wrote: »

Stomach not well at all. That'll teach me to eat fajitas late in the evening followed by my body weight in chocolate. Ugh.

Ugh, not nice. I've no appetite the last few days. All I want to do is drink citrusy things.

Das, best of luck tomorrow. So exciting that you get to see your new little bundle so soon!

groucho marx

Das Kitty wrote: »

Madisson, my body was better after having a baby once I lost the weight.

I have a waist now. I was very straight up and down before.

Also, my sex life actually improved. So there's another myth busted.

It's 10am and I'm having a nice leisurely wake up after a night out last night. So tell the naysayers to shove it!

I seem to have a head old though. Typical.

But tomorrow I can have all the good drugs! Woo!

Best of luck tomorrow Das Kitty

DoctorBoo

Best of luck tomorrow Das!

Madisson

Das Kitty wrote: »

Madisson, my body was better after having a baby once I lost the weight.

I have a waist now. I was very straight up and down before.

Also, my sex life actually improved. So there's another myth busted.

It's 10am and I'm having a nice leisurely wake up after a night out last night. So tell the naysayers to shove it!

I seem to have a head old though. Typical.

But tomorrow I can have all the good drugs! Woo!

thanks misses

wooo good luck tomorrow will be thinking of you

Das Kitty

Thanks folks. It's tomorrow afternoon so I'll try to update you guys at some stage tomorrow but no promises!

It'll all be grand anyway.