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Father Information Rights

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  • 04-02-2013 11:55am
    #1
    IrishJoker
    Registered Users Posts: 44 ✭


    Hi,
    So my situtation, I'm married but we're seperating and we have a 2 year old little girl. She lives with her mother, and I rent an apartment. I've recently moved to another apartment with my girlfriend and I have my daughter 1 night every weekend.

    So my question is, do I have to tell my ex my new address? I personally don't want to tell her, but I'm bot sure if legally I'm obliged to.

    Any ideas/thoughts?

    Cheers


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    #2
    kiffer
    Registered Users Posts: 2,097 ✭✭✭kiffer


    IrishJoker wrote: »
    Hi,
    So my situtation, I'm married but we're seperating and we have a 2 year old little girl. She lives with her mother, and I rent an apartment. I've recently moved to another apartment with my girlfriend and I have my daughter 1 night every weekend.

    So my question is, do I have to tell my ex my new address? I personally don't want to tell her, but I'm bot sure if legally I'm obliged to.

    Any ideas/thoughts?

    Cheers

    Not sure about legally, but from a more personal point of view imagine she moved and didn't tell you where your daughter was?


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    #3
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    Your proposal (as it stands) is to take your ex's daughter to an "undisclosed location" one night per week.

    Ideas/thoughts? It's a ridiculous idea, and you should really take a step back an examine the "bigger picture".


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    #4
    wolfpawnat
    Registered Users Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    You could tell her the general area. I know we don't know the ins and outs here, there most be a very good reason you don't want her knowing your address, but I would freak out if I didn't know where in general my son was.


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    #5
    hyperborean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 655 ✭✭✭hyperborean


    You need to tell her your new address,


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    #6
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    Unless your ex is liable to show up at your door and be abusive then you should absolutely tell her where you are now living seeing as you have a child together.


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    #7
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    Your ex is entitled to know where her daughter is spending the night. That applies just as much to you moving to a new apartment with your girlfriend as it does if you take your daughter to a hotel for the night.


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    #8
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Would you be happy if your ex moved and didn't tell you where your child was living?


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    #9
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    IrishJoker wrote: »
    So my question is, do I have to tell my ex my new address? I personally don't want to tell her, but I'm bot sure if legally I'm obliged to.
    You are not legally obliged to.
    ash23 wrote: »
    Unless your ex is liable to show up at your door and be abusive then you should absolutely tell her where you are now living seeing as you have a child together.
    Yeah, but I would agree with the other posters that the mother realistically does have a moral right to know where her daughter is. If he spent his weekends with her elsewhere (the zoo, his/her parent's home, etc), then this wouldn't be an issue.

    However, I do see your point. While having contact information is meant to be for communication in relation to the child, some people abuse this and simply use it as a means to get back at the other parent. If such abuse is particularly bad, he probably should organize that he spends time with his daughter at a neutral location, that he can tell the mother about, and keep his own address to himself.


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    #10
    wmpdd3
    Registered Users Posts: 9,624 ✭✭✭wmpdd3


    my friend has just has this in the family court recently, it was made a condition of access that the address and a telephone number was made available. As the father claimed he didnt want his new girlfriend uncomfortable, it was said if there is an issue with a disturbance at your address you contact the police. Also a drop off point was arranged close to the mums address.


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    #11
    Hobbitfeet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 767 ✭✭✭Hobbitfeet


    Zulu wrote: »
    Your proposal (as it stands) is to take your ex's daughter to an "undisclosed location" one night a week.
    It's his daughter too.
    If I was in that situation I would want to know your address and where my daughter was, I'm sure you would too.


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    #12
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    wmpdd3 wrote: »
    it was said if there is an issue with a disturbance at your address you contact the police.
    Tell him not to hold his breath that they'll actually do anything, if he contacts them.


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    #13
    Morag
    Registered Users Posts: 8,427 ✭✭✭Morag


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    Tell him not to hold his breath that they'll actually do anything, if he contacts them.

    He can make a record of it and the garda will have a record of it and if there is a pattern then it's possible for legal actions or orders to be put in place.


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    #14
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Morag wrote: »
    He can make a record of it and the garda will have a record of it and if there is a pattern then it's possible for legal actions or orders to be put in place.
    That's true, but again it comes down to what sanctions will be realistically employed for someone who repeatedly does things like this. Problem is that courts are loathed to fine or issue bench warrants for mothers, the logic being that such rulings will negatively affect the children in their care.

    As such, perhaps and eventually a court will take action, but if so (and there is no guarantee that they ever will) it can take literally years of constant and significant levels of abuse, breaking of court orders, etc., before something might actually be done about it.

    In that context, I can well empathize that simply refusing to give one's address is a much simpler means to deal with such situations.


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    #15
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    The OP asked should he have to give his address to his ex. Let's stick to that topic instead of going off on a tangent as per usual


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    #16
    Morag
    Registered Users Posts: 8,427 ✭✭✭Morag


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    In that context, I can well empathize that simply refusing to give one's address is a much simpler means to deal with such situations.

    That may be but parents both parent's should know were their kids are staying.


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    #17
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Morag wrote: »
    That may be but parents both parent's should know were their kids are staying.
    I agree, and said so earlier. But if access is at a neutral location (especially if supervised), the father's address becomes a moot point.


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    #18
    Morag
    Registered Users Posts: 8,427 ✭✭✭Morag


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    I agree, and said so earlier. But if access is at a neutral location, the father's address becomes a moot point.

    But that then means no over nights which has a range of ramifications.


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    #19
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Morag wrote: »
    But that then means no over nights which has a range of ramifications.
    Not necessarily; she would still have the address of where the access it taking place, and overnights could take place there (e.g. his parent's home). Of course this depends on whether there's a suitable neutral location.

    Ultimately, the mother does have a moral right to know where her child is, however he's also got a moral right to his privacy. If a compromise can be found that keeps everybody happy, then all well and good.

    Overall though, we don't really know what the details of the OP's situation are; we don't even know if his ex is harassing him and why he wants to keep his address secret or, conversely, if his ex wants to know his address principally because she precisely wants to harass him.

    He asked if he's legally obliged to give his address; he's not. A neutral location is one way of getting around this and potentially keeping everyone happy (enough).


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    #20
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    He asked if he's legally obliged to give his address; he's not. A neutral location is one way of getting around this and potentially keeping everyone happy (enough).

    Let's not play with semantics here. He has his daughter for one night every weekend. He is obliged to tell her mother where her daughter is staying. End of. This is not her "moral right" - it's her legal right as the child's guardian.

    Let's end the speculation of abusive relationships, neutral locations, his right to privacy etc. It is not relevant to the OP.


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