Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Carpet diem

Amazingfun wrote: »

You don't seem to get it.

You drank. You put the booze into your mouth. Your girlfriend didn't and it to "blame" for nothing. You've been around AA and on here long enough to know no one else can ever really "make" us drink right?

However, you might find some clues in the line "I decided to have a few"

Anyhow: good luck with it.

For me today, years away from it, I'd am so grateful to be free of this kind of madness because I never won any fight I got into with alcohol.

It tough to get people behind you. I know it was me who put first drink but people around you have a big influence.

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

It tough to get people behind you. I know it was me who put first drink but people around you have a big influence.

Nope. You still think drinking is somehow ok, and truthfully, maybe it is for you?

You say you "decided" to take a few drinks, and you did.
So, did it work? Could you take a "few" like you wanted and leave it at that?
If so, what's the problem? Why not just drink and enjoy yourself?

Amazingfun

marienbad wrote: »

Was I prepared to go to any lengths to get it ? That is always the question and in my case I was . I ditched family and friends that didn't buy in , I never associated with my drinking 'buddies' again. I ruthlessly stopped going to pubs, I haunted meetings and hitched on dark country roads to get to them.

I endured the crushing loneliness ,self-revulsion, and despair just because I believed it would get better and in time it did . And I have been gifted a sober life of well over three decades , all because I accepted there are no half measures .

You have nothing to lose , I certainly didn't , except your life and sanity of course .

Great to hear someone with over 30 years still have that sense of urgency Marien!

Your experience is a little different to mine. I was actually working in a pub when I got sober and continued to do so for the first two years of my sobriety. I also didn't avoid my friends or people who drank, although I of course didn't stay around for the drinking sessions or the like anymore. I would often go home after my shift and maybe log on to hear a talk or chat to other sober alkies the world over. I made many new contacts and even met some of them in person around the world later on. It's been a great adventure

By then (having tried to get sober numerous times) it was a simple case of reading the writing on the wall: the party with booze was over for good.
I was the one who was alcoholic - not my friends. Yes many of them drank a lot, but booze didn't cause them to react and behave like I did. They could stop at the end of a night and maybe go for food or even have coffee etc--but not me. I always wanted to keep at it until I passed out or until something stopped me. I took the drink and the drink took me.

I saw after a time in AA that I owed many of my friends amends for how I'd been. It wasn't their fault I was alcoholic, it wasn't even my fault, but it was my responsibility to face the truth about my drinking and my selfish behavior and make it clear to them I would now try to be a better friend and not act that way anymore. I had to clean up my act and embrace a different way of being or else face a return to drinking and all the misery and humiliation that entails.

Everyone has their own path , we all have to find our own. One thing I wholeheartedly agree with Marien on is having to be willing to do whatever it takes to get well, and the absolute truth that half-measures do indeed avail us nothing.

marienbad

Amazingfun wrote: »

Great to hear someone with over 30 years still have that sense of urgency Marien!

Your experience is a little different to mine. I was actually working in a pub when I got sober and continued to do so for the first two years of my sobriety. I also didn't avoid my friends or people who drank, although I of course didn't stay around for the drinking sessions or the like anymore. I would often go home after my shift and maybe log on to hear a talk or chat to other sober alkies the world over. I made many new contacts and even met some of them in person around the world later on. It's been a great adventure

By then (having tried to get sober numerous times) it was a simple case of reading the writing on the wall: the party with booze was over for good.
I was the one who was alcoholic - not my friends. Yes many of them drank a lot, but booze didn't cause them to react and behave like I did. They could stop at the end of a night and maybe go for food or even have coffee etc--but not me. I always wanted to keep at it until I passed out or until something stopped me. I took the drink and the drink took me.

I saw after a time in AA that I owed many of my friends amends for how I'd been. It wasn't their fault I was alcoholic, it wasn't even my fault, but it was my responsibility to face the truth about my drinking and my selfish behavior and make it clear to them I would now try to be a better friend and not act that way anymore. I had to clean up my act and embrace a different way of being or else face a return to drinking and all the misery and humiliation that entails.

Everyone has their own path , we all have to find our own. One thing I wholeheartedly agree with Marien on is having to be willing to do whatever it takes to get well, and the absolute truth that half-measures do indeed avail us nothing.

Absolutely 100 % , and to this day I never ,ever take my sobriety , my programme or my meetings for granted . It seems only like yesterday I made that decision and I renew it every day .

And just get all that sh*te and debris out of my life and really begin to live.

Sunnyisland

[QUOTE=Amazingfun;92568824

I also didn't avoid my friends or people who drank, although I of course didn't stay around for the drinking sessions or the like anymore. I would often go home after my shift and maybe log on to hear a talk or chat to other sober alkies the world over. I made many new contacts and even met some of them in person around the world later on. It's been a great adventure

By then (having tried to get sober numerous times) it was a simple case of reading the writing on the wall: the party with booze was over for good.
I was the one who was alcoholic - not my friends. Yes many of them drank a lot, but booze didn't cause them to react and behave like I did. They could stop at the end of a night and maybe go for food or even have coffee etc--but not me. I always wanted to keep at it until I passed out or until something stopped me. I took the drink and the drink took me.

It wasn't their fault I was alcoholic, it wasn't even my fault, but it was my responsibility to face the truth about my drinking and my selfish behavior and make it clear to them I would now try to be a better friend and not act that way anymore. I had to clean up my act and embrace a different way of being or else face a return to drinking and all the misery and humiliation that entails.

Everyone has their own path , we all have to find our own. One thing I wholeheartedly agree with Marien on is having to be willing to do whatever it takes to get well, and the absolute truth that half-measures do indeed avail us nothing.[/QUOTE]


Says it all for me, And well done Amazingfun and Marienbad :-)

spice bag

Amazingfun, you mention listening to talks, could you advise where I can find these talks, I would be interested in having a listen when the going gets tough.
Thanks in advance

Amazingfun

https://www.youtube.com/user/OdomtologyBooks

Plenty more where these came from ...enjoy!

mickydoomsux

Have had a few very bad weeks. Drank most nights out of pure habit, I don't crave it at all. I generally don't have much, maybe 4 cans, but it's still WAY over the recommended.

The thing that is worrying me is that I'm buying the cheapest drink available now (Druids cider or wacky Eastern European muck) so I'm subconsciously realising what a waste of cash it is but I'm still doing it. Also, I've gained nearly 2 stone since this time last year and I'm starting to look and feel crap again.

I know I can stop completely if I want because I've done it easily before but then after a while I decide I'll have a few some night and I'm back in the habit again before I realise it.

Starting today I'm just going to quit it again and really aim to stick to it this time rather than thinking I'm 'alright to have a few' in a months time

auldgranny

Had a terrible weekend. Drank fri sat and sunday. Missed work monday due to drink. Got completely hammered last night and still feel terrible today. I am going to stop now because I have to. I am killing myself. Day number one.

JonBon27

@Auldgranny get yourself to a meeting!!

Abcxyz12345

Hi,
I feel like I need to try AA but I keep thinking that I'm not bad enough. So I don't know if it's for me. I don't want to drink. I hadn't for the past 2 months & felt very anxious re what would happen if I did drink. I feel so stressed & agitated all the time. Last night I felt such peace when I decided to drink. Id half a bottle of vodka & also self harmed while drunk-something I havnt done in 15 years. I'm drinking again now. I sat outside an AA meeting last night, before drinking, for ages & then let the time pass & left. I just couldn't go in. My da is an alcoholic & when he drank he would end be off the scale - lost jobs, hospitalized etc. I just keep feeling Im not that bad. No one knows how I'm drinking so everyone thinks I'm fine. My behavior doesn't cause difficulties for others. Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice. Id appreciate it. I read this forum a lot though I've never posted. Thank you

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Hi,
I feel like I need to try AA but I keep thinking that I'm not bad enough. So I don't know if it's for me. I don't want to drink. I hadn't for the past 2 months & felt very anxious re what would happen if I did drink. I feel so stressed & agitated all the time. Last night I felt such peace when I decided to drink. Id half a bottle of vodka & also self harmed while drunk-something I havnt done in 15 years. I'm drinking again now. I sat outside an AA meeting last night, before drinking, for ages & then let the time pass & left. I just couldn't go in. My da is an alcoholic & when he drank he would end be off the scale - lost jobs, hospitalized etc. I just keep feeling Im not that bad. No one knows how I'm drinking so everyone thinks I'm fine. My behavior doesn't cause difficulties for others. Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice. Id appreciate it. I read this forum a lot though I've never posted. Thank you

'The only requirement for membership is a strong desire to stop drinking'- that is a quote from the original AA Big Book. from the 1930's .

One of the few changes ever made to the text of that book - and this was done for the 2nd edition - was to take out the word 'strong' so the line now reads 'the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking'

And if you have that then you belong , forget the notion of Skid Row and brown paper bags, though it can and will come to that or something similar. Loads of my compadres in AA never crashed a car or slept rough or got fired or beat their partners or any other dramatic happenings you describe with your Da. At least not yet .

Something that was said to me in my early AA days was to imagine alcoholism like a lift , only instead of going up it was going down and we had to decide which floor to get out . Some were able to do so after 2 floors , which might be a warning from the doctor .Others on the 3rd floor which might be a warning at work , and so on down past the 10 and 11th floors , those pits of despair and self-loathing where we are lucky if Hope can still reach us.

It is not for me to say which floor another human being is on , but if you are self harming , you need professional help now and you will not find yourself alone at an AA meeting.

GerB40

mickydoomsux wrote: »

Have had a few very bad weeks. Drank most nights out of pure habit, I don't crave it at all. I generally don't have much, maybe 4 cans, but it's still WAY over the recommended.

The thing that is worrying me is that I'm buying the cheapest drink available now (Druids cider or wacky Eastern European muck) so I'm subconsciously realising what a waste of cash it is but I'm still doing it. Also, I've gained nearly 2 stone since this time last year and I'm starting to look and feel crap again.

I know I can stop completely if I want because I've done it easily before but then after a while I decide I'll have a few some night and I'm back in the habit again before I realise it.

Starting today I'm just going to quit it again and really aim to stick to it this time rather than thinking I'm 'alright to have a few' in a months time

You remind me of me four or five years ago. Saying fùck it, a few tins won't do any harm, buying cheap shyte because I could buy more, gaining weight, that was me...

You say you don't crave it at all (I'm about to say something that you mightn't like, and if I'm wrong I apologise unreservedly) but it seems like a case of denial.. You realise your drinking isn't right and you're in a very lucky position to nip it in the bud before it becomes worse.
You sound self aware enough to improve your life.

Again, if I'm wrong I'm sorry. The beginning of your post reminded me so much of me that I'd hate for you to end up like I did.. Best wishes Mickey☺

Edit: Totally off topic but I've been on The Evil Within thread too and I noticed you're not a fan. So there's at least one difference between us....

GerB40

auldgranny wrote: »

Had a terrible weekend. Drank fri sat and sunday. Missed work monday due to drink. Got completely hammered last night and still feel terrible today. I am going to stop now because I have to. I am killing myself. Day number one.

PM Me if you want to talk. I'm no expert but apparently talking helps.. Stay strong, you've an army of support here.

Amazingfun

There's really only two things that make someone an "alcoholic of our type" in AA:

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

1. The body: when we take the drink, the drink takes us.

2. The mind: the utter and baffling inability to leave drink alone, no matter how many times we've failed in trying to control it in the past.

Be honest with yourself. Think back over your drinking life and ask yourself if these two descriptions fit. If so, you indeed may be one of us

KeefF

Sick with myself today. Same mistakes over and over. Have been goin back out nearly every weekend since June - with same results.
Going back to AA this weekend for first time since June. While its not perfect its the only thing that seems to get me any prolonged period dry -pain pain pain.

Amazingfun

KeefF wrote: »

Sick with myself today. Same mistakes over and over. Have been goin back out nearly every weekend since June - with same results.
Going back to AA this weekend for first time since June. While its not perfect its the only thing that seems to get me any prolonged period dry -pain pain pain.

Welcome back , I'd been wondering what you were up to, glad yer still alive n kickin

Back in AA's early days Dr. Bob would ask returning slippers :
"Are you really licked this time"?

Carpet diem

KeefF wrote: »

Sick with myself today. Same mistakes over and over. Have been goin back out nearly every weekend since June - with same results.
Going back to AA this weekend for first time since June. While its not perfect its the only thing that seems to get me any prolonged period dry -pain pain pain.

Its not easy KeefF otherwise we be all at it! Good to hear from you and that you are back. Probably same story myself really

Carpet diem

Amazingfun wrote: »

Welcome back , I'd been wondering what you were up to, glad yer still alive n kickin

Back in AA's early days Dr. Bob would ask returning slippers :
"Are you really licked this time"?

That's the thing us guys never know when we are fully licked. Really don't!

marienbad

Carpet diem wrote: »

That's the thing us guys never know when we are fully licked. Really don't!

Well you can - just for today.

Carpet diem

marienbad wrote: »

Well you can - just for today.

Mind have a funny way of remembering good times and very little of bad times.

Doublin

Carpet diem wrote: »

That's the thing us guys never know when we are fully licked. Really don't!

True, well hopefully something positive can come of these type of open discussions like these that open the true consequences involved with this. I for one am glad I went back here and feel I can talk about where I am. Thanks..

Carpet diem

Definitely lot busier forum these days with the clock going back soon

KeefF

I've spent the last 3 months out looking for something that I will never find as a drunken lout. Catch - 22 = feeling sorry for myself sitting home alone on a Sat night - then I go out drink and i'm a mess and no good to anyone. So at this stage I'm way better dealing with loneliness etc than having to deal with the torment that has come with getting arrested, doing drugs, thrown out of clubs & pubs, spending thousands, missing work and telling lies to really good people and having no piece of mind in last 3 months.
Time to stop - I'm lucky I do have family close, a good job, own home, I am fit and reasonably healthy. But once I have a drink I am a changed man and I lose sight off the things that are important to me and I can lose 2-3 days in a blur. I need to take full responsibility for my life now.

Carpet diem

KeefF wrote: »

I've spent the last 3 months out looking for something that I will never find as a drunken lout. Catch - 22 = feeling sorry for myself sitting home alone on a Sat night - then I go out drink and i'm a mess and no good to anyone. So at this stage I'm way better dealing with loneliness etc than having to deal with the torment that has come with getting arrested, doing drugs, thrown out of clubs & pubs, spending thousands, missing work and telling lies to really good people and having no piece of mind in last 3 months.
Time to stop - I'm lucky I do have family close, a good job, own home, I am fit and reasonably healthy. But once I have a drink I am a changed man and I lose sight off the things that are important to me and I can lose 2-3 days in a blur. I need to take full responsibility for my life now.

I was thinking of that this evening. What do I really want in life that will make me happy.
- Money Ya but that's only short term so no
- ..Need to fill in the blank here really.

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

I was thinking of that this evening. What do I really want in life that will make me happy.
- Money Ya but that's only short term so no
- ..Need to fill in the blank here really.

One of my fav sayings since I came back is "AA is not a self help program-it's a self-forgetting program".

Lots of fun paradoxes on this sober path.....;)

KeefF

Walking into work, nice suit tie and jacket, brief case in hand. Lucky as I am - I feel like a fraud with the torment pounding in my head.
But 3 days sober - onwards and upwards.

Carpet diem

KeefF wrote: »

Walking into work, nice suit tie and jacket, brief case in hand. Lucky as I am - I feel like a fraud with the torment pounding in my head.
But 3 days sober - onwards and upwards.

Everybody has problems. No matter where you work or not, where you are from , where you live, What you do, what your outlook in life is.

It's how we deal with them problems in life is how we define ourselves.

Abcxyz12345

Hi, thank you Marienbad for your reply. Appreciate it. The 'lift' example was good. I think my understanding of 'an alcoholic' has obviously been influenced by my father... If you don't end up in Loman's then you're probably not actually an alcoholic that needs AA! I've been thinking a lot about going to a meeting. I'm still drinking daily & feel like I'm about to snap until I can. I do know that's not good. Thank you again. This forum is good too.

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Hi, thank you Marienbad for your reply. Appreciate it. The 'lift' example was good. I think my understanding of 'an alcoholic' has obviously been influenced by my father... If you don't end up in Loman's then you're probably not actually an alcoholic that needs AA! I've been thinking a lot about going to a meeting. I'm still drinking daily & feel like I'm about to snap until I can. I do know that's not good. Thank you again. This forum is good too.

It takes all kinds to make a AA group and their is no single definition .You will find yourself more than welcome and what have you to lose ?

auldgranny

Day 3 fingers crossed I will do weekend.

KeefF

auldgranny wrote: »

Day 3 fingers crossed I will do weekend.

Fair play to you & best of luck.
I will not drink this weekend because of the 3 day binge I did last weekend. That's the way it goes for me 3-4 weeks off it then a binge and carnage. I think though this time I am well and truly beaten. I need to take full responsibility and not care what anyone else thinks - I need to stay sober for myself or else I could end up really and truly f***ed up.

Abcxyz12345

marienbad wrote: »

It takes all kinds to make a AA group and their is no single definition .You will find yourself more than welcome and what have you to lose ?

I thought all day about 'what have I to lose'? All I thought about was what if I see someone I know at a meeting & then they'll know I'm not coping... That was my worry. I did go to my first AA meeting this evening. I was beyond anxious going in. I was actually outside a mtg at 4pm & couldn't go in then so I went back a few hours later for the next one.

I don't know what I was expecting. Everyone else there a lot older than me (by 20/30yrs) & there was just 1 woman there (I'm female). They were friendly but I'm not sure about it. I did make a deal with myself though that if I actually went into a meeting, I wouldn't buy alcohol tonight & Ive stuck to that... So in that way it's been positive - thank you

KeefF

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

I thought all day about 'what have I to lose'? All I thought about was what if I see someone I know at a meeting & then they'll know I'm not coping... That was my worry. I did go to my first AA meeting this evening. I was beyond anxious going in. I was actually outside a mtg at 4pm & couldn't go in then so I went back a few hours later for the next one.

I don't know what I was expecting. Everyone else there a lot older than me (by 20/30yrs) & there was just 1 woman there (I'm female). They were friendly but I'm not sure about it. I did make a deal with myself though that if I actually went into a meeting, I wouldn't buy alcohol tonight & Ive stuck to that... So in that way it's been positive - thank you

Well Done! That'sa big step

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

I thought all day about 'what have I to lose'? All I thought about was what if I see someone I know at a meeting & then they'll know I'm not coping... That was my worry. I did go to my first AA meeting this evening. I was beyond anxious going in. I was actually outside a mtg at 4pm & couldn't go in then so I went back a few hours later for the next one.

I don't know what I was expecting. Everyone else there a lot older than me (by 20/30yrs) & there was just 1 woman there (I'm female). They were friendly but I'm not sure about it. I did make a deal with myself though that if I actually went into a meeting, I wouldn't buy alcohol tonight & Ive stuck to that... So in that way it's been positive - thank you

Keep coming. Try different groups until you find the one best suited to you .
And never worry about meeting someone you know , they are there for the same reasons you are .

Remember, what have you to lose ?

Carpet diem

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

I thought all day about 'what have I to lose'? All I thought about was what if I see someone I know at a meeting & then they'll know I'm not coping... That was my worry. I did go to my first AA meeting this evening. I was beyond anxious going in. I was actually outside a mtg at 4pm & couldn't go in then so I went back a few hours later for the next one.

I don't know what I was expecting. Everyone else there a lot older than me (by 20/30yrs) & there was just 1 woman there (I'm female). They were friendly but I'm not sure about it. I did make a deal with myself though that if I actually went into a meeting, I wouldn't buy alcohol tonight & Ive stuck to that... So in that way it's been positive - thank you

Definitely try different times until you find a suitable age group that you feel comfortable with. It does make a huge difference when sharing and listening to others stories that you can relate too.

Sunnyisland

As others have said here abcxy keep trying different meetings, I remember there was one I used to go to, and it was more like a stay back in a pub than a AA meeting :-)

And even if you don't follow to the AA rules it's great to be around Like minded people who more or less have the same goal and issues as you, you are not alone out there, Unfortunally there are thousands of us.

Abcxyz12345

Thank you all for the advice and kind words. I really do appreciate it. I will try another meeting. Today I feel so on edge & am getting upset easily in myself. I know it's probably because I've no alcohol in me too.

Thank you so much Marienbad for the 'what have you got to lose' advice. I've been thinking a lot about that. At the moment it's probably just 'losing face' but I'm worried I could lose a lot more if I keep going the way I'm going.

Thank you too Realies. At about 3pm yesterday I was really upset. Id cleaned the house to keep busy & that was all done. I was checking this thread again when I saw you had 'bumped' 2 threads you had written a few years ago. They were brilliant. I got up & out of the house then as I knew there was a meeting at 4pm. While I didn't go into that one, I did go back later. Thank you

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Thank you all for the advice and kind words. I really do appreciate it. I will try another meeting. Today I feel so on edge & am getting upset easily in myself. I know it's probably because I've no alcohol in me too.

Thank you so much Marienbad for the 'what have you got to lose' advice. I've been thinking a lot about that. At the moment it's probably just 'losing face' but I'm worried I could lose a lot more if I keep going the way I'm going.

Thank you too Realies. At about 3pm yesterday I was really upset. Id cleaned the house to keep busy & that was all done. I was checking this thread again when I saw you had 'bumped' 2 threads you had written a few years ago. They were brilliant. I got up & out of the house then as I knew there was a meeting at 4pm. While I didn't go into that one, I did go back later. Thank you

People in the meetings just don't care about things like 'losing face' so cross off that worry. If you are worried about friends and family finding out I can totally understand that. In my early days I was paranoid about them finding out, funnily enough not because they would know about my drinking- everyone already did - but because I was afraid of public failure . And it was my right as it is an anonymous fellowship and my anonymity was always respected . But don't let it stop you getting the help you need .

Remember you have nothing to lose. Keep getting to those meetings .

Carpet diem

Main thing is keep picking yourself back up

Hope all is well today. As realises Saud today is the only day to worry about!

Carpet diem

Anyone any advice on what doc can prescribe to reduce alcohol cravings? Any side effects?

PM might be best things..

iusedtoknow

Carpet diem wrote: »

Anyone any advice on what doc can prescribe to reduce alcohol cravings? Any side effects?

PM might be best things..

Medicating your cravings away is not going to get them to leave. You could instead benefit from CBT therapy or the like to help. You can only take medication for x amount of days/months. After that, you'll be on your own.

GerB40

Carpet diem wrote: »

Anyone any advice on what doc can prescribe to reduce alcohol cravings? Any side effects?

PM might be best things..

From personal experience it's a bad idea to use drugs to alleviate alcohol cravings, whether they be legal or not. The cravings you'll get from not drinking are perfectly normal and by using any chemical to block those feelings out will only end up with you swapping one dependency for another, In my case anyway, and believe me, (prescription) drug cravings are nasty..

Carpet diem

How does one go about building up self confidence and sense of self?

Abcxyz12345

Hi, I've been re-reading a lot of old threads here & they've been helpful. I haven't drank since Friday but I am so unbelievably emotional. I bawl crying lots of times each day, I'm not sleeping or eating great. It's really hard as when I'm like this I know on one level that drinking will help with all those things - in the immediate term anyway. I know it's early days but I'm committed to not drinking. It's weird but I actually feel heartbroken - though not romantically!
I went to mtgs on Sunday & Monday & cried at them. I felt I had to take a break from them last night & tonight as I felt so unwell/exhausted. They were good but it was hard to listen as I identified with so much others were saying. A kind lady gave me her no so I rang her & am going to meet her for tea. I'm not exactly sure about what the next little while will be like but I'm committed to changing. Thank you.

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Hi, I've been re-reading a lot of old threads here & they've been helpful. I haven't drank since Friday but I am so unbelievably emotional. I bawl crying lots of times each day, I'm not sleeping or eating great. It's really hard as when I'm like this I know on one level that drinking will help with all those things - in the immediate term anyway. I know it's early days but I'm committed to not drinking. It's weird but I actually feel heartbroken - though not romantically!
I went to mtgs on Sunday & Monday & cried at them. I felt I had to take a break from them last night & tonight as I felt so unwell/exhausted. They were good but it was hard to listen as I identified with so much others were saying. A kind lady gave me her no so I rang her & am going to meet her for tea. I'm not exactly sure about what the next little while will be like but I'm committed to changing. Thank you.

Just take it one day at a time . I know it sounds trite but it is the only way, otherwise the mountain to climb can seem big. And keep banging in those meetings difficult as they may be .

hubba

Carpet diem wrote: »

How does one go about building up self confidence and sense of self?

Big question! I am very much learning here but I think it involves first developing compassion for the self. This can be done by reading and understanding the nature of compassion and then trying to implement it in daily life. Be kind to yourself, more tolerant of your shortcomings and vulnerabilities. Accept that it's ok to be imperfect. Then, step by step, day by day, by choosing to do the right thing for yourself and others, you become grounded and build a certain confidence. But I'd love to hear other's views on this?

Carpet diem

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Hi, I've been re-reading a lot of old threads here & they've been helpful. I haven't drank since Friday but I am so unbelievably emotional. I bawl crying lots of times each day, I'm not sleeping or eating great. It's really hard as when I'm like this I know on one level that drinking will help with all those things - in the immediate term anyway. I know it's early days but I'm committed to not drinking. It's weird but I actually feel heartbroken - though not romantically!
I went to mtgs on Sunday & Monday & cried at them. I felt I had to take a break from them last night & tonight as I felt so unwell/exhausted. They were good but it was hard to listen as I identified with so much others were saying. A kind lady gave me her no so I rang her & am going to meet her for tea. I'm not exactly sure about what the next little while will be like but I'm committed to changing. Thank you.

Certainly an emotional time as you are giving up something that was a big part of your life. Eat well and exercise well will help for sure and things will get better.

Carpet diem

Thursday sitting in relaxing - before I'd be out creating misery for myself. That part of my life is definitely over and done with.

It's been a tough week, but hopefully get better. Confidence is definitely something I need to work on.

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

How does one go about building up self confidence and sense of self?

Better have a read of this : Step one in the '12 and 12'.

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step1.pdf

"When first challenged to admit defeat, most of us revolted. We had approached AA expecting to be taught self-confidence. Then we had been taught that as far as alcohol is concerned self confidence was no good whatever; in fact it was a total liability."

--found on page 22, second paragraph.