Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Carpet diem

Anyone any advice on what doc can prescribe to reduce alcohol cravings? Any side effects?

PM might be best things..

iusedtoknow

Carpet diem wrote: »

Anyone any advice on what doc can prescribe to reduce alcohol cravings? Any side effects?

PM might be best things..

Medicating your cravings away is not going to get them to leave. You could instead benefit from CBT therapy or the like to help. You can only take medication for x amount of days/months. After that, you'll be on your own.

GerB40

Carpet diem wrote: »

Anyone any advice on what doc can prescribe to reduce alcohol cravings? Any side effects?

PM might be best things..

From personal experience it's a bad idea to use drugs to alleviate alcohol cravings, whether they be legal or not. The cravings you'll get from not drinking are perfectly normal and by using any chemical to block those feelings out will only end up with you swapping one dependency for another, In my case anyway, and believe me, (prescription) drug cravings are nasty..

Carpet diem

How does one go about building up self confidence and sense of self?

Abcxyz12345

Hi, I've been re-reading a lot of old threads here & they've been helpful. I haven't drank since Friday but I am so unbelievably emotional. I bawl crying lots of times each day, I'm not sleeping or eating great. It's really hard as when I'm like this I know on one level that drinking will help with all those things - in the immediate term anyway. I know it's early days but I'm committed to not drinking. It's weird but I actually feel heartbroken - though not romantically!
I went to mtgs on Sunday & Monday & cried at them. I felt I had to take a break from them last night & tonight as I felt so unwell/exhausted. They were good but it was hard to listen as I identified with so much others were saying. A kind lady gave me her no so I rang her & am going to meet her for tea. I'm not exactly sure about what the next little while will be like but I'm committed to changing. Thank you.

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Hi, I've been re-reading a lot of old threads here & they've been helpful. I haven't drank since Friday but I am so unbelievably emotional. I bawl crying lots of times each day, I'm not sleeping or eating great. It's really hard as when I'm like this I know on one level that drinking will help with all those things - in the immediate term anyway. I know it's early days but I'm committed to not drinking. It's weird but I actually feel heartbroken - though not romantically!
I went to mtgs on Sunday & Monday & cried at them. I felt I had to take a break from them last night & tonight as I felt so unwell/exhausted. They were good but it was hard to listen as I identified with so much others were saying. A kind lady gave me her no so I rang her & am going to meet her for tea. I'm not exactly sure about what the next little while will be like but I'm committed to changing. Thank you.

Just take it one day at a time . I know it sounds trite but it is the only way, otherwise the mountain to climb can seem big. And keep banging in those meetings difficult as they may be .

hubba

Carpet diem wrote: »

How does one go about building up self confidence and sense of self?

Big question! I am very much learning here but I think it involves first developing compassion for the self. This can be done by reading and understanding the nature of compassion and then trying to implement it in daily life. Be kind to yourself, more tolerant of your shortcomings and vulnerabilities. Accept that it's ok to be imperfect. Then, step by step, day by day, by choosing to do the right thing for yourself and others, you become grounded and build a certain confidence. But I'd love to hear other's views on this?

Carpet diem

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Hi, I've been re-reading a lot of old threads here & they've been helpful. I haven't drank since Friday but I am so unbelievably emotional. I bawl crying lots of times each day, I'm not sleeping or eating great. It's really hard as when I'm like this I know on one level that drinking will help with all those things - in the immediate term anyway. I know it's early days but I'm committed to not drinking. It's weird but I actually feel heartbroken - though not romantically!
I went to mtgs on Sunday & Monday & cried at them. I felt I had to take a break from them last night & tonight as I felt so unwell/exhausted. They were good but it was hard to listen as I identified with so much others were saying. A kind lady gave me her no so I rang her & am going to meet her for tea. I'm not exactly sure about what the next little while will be like but I'm committed to changing. Thank you.

Certainly an emotional time as you are giving up something that was a big part of your life. Eat well and exercise well will help for sure and things will get better.

Carpet diem

Thursday sitting in relaxing - before I'd be out creating misery for myself. That part of my life is definitely over and done with.

It's been a tough week, but hopefully get better. Confidence is definitely something I need to work on.

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

How does one go about building up self confidence and sense of self?

Better have a read of this : Step one in the '12 and 12'.

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step1.pdf

"When first challenged to admit defeat, most of us revolted. We had approached AA expecting to be taught self-confidence. Then we had been taught that as far as alcohol is concerned self confidence was no good whatever; in fact it was a total liability."

--found on page 22, second paragraph.

Carpet diem

Was s tough week but happy to come out the other side with a bit of a smile. Looking forward to relaxation and nice simple sober weekend.

Sounds simple but it's fantastic.

Carpet diem

Carpet diem wrote: »

How does one go about building up self confidence and sense of self?

I was a bit of a lay about waster when I was in college. And I think I justified that to myself by looking at the people around me who were "better" than me - and telling myself I would never be "as good" as them - so why even try?

I can not tell you how to build up these things like you asked. But I can certainly tell you how I did it. If it helps.

I shifted my focus. I simply decided that I was no longer going to judge my self or my self worth against the people around me.

Instead I set myself a really simple goal.

It was this simple:

"From now on.... every day.... I will go to bed being "better" than the person who woke up that morning".

In other words I decided that my self confidence and my sense of self was going to be predicated on bettering myself on the person I was the day before.

And HOW I did that was irrelevant. One day it might be running a little bit further or longer than the day before.... or id learn something i didnt know the day before...... or id do meditation longer or better than the day before..... or I would show more compassion to someone today than I did the say before.....

... the simple point was.... that my self worth derived from bettering MYSELF in the 24 hours that was given me to do it. In some SMALL way or other. And it was small. Each and every day it was tiny.

But I did it every day.

And I STILL do it every day. I havent given up yet.

And my self pride and self worth? It comes from keeping up that journey. I havent set a goal. I havent told myself ill be better than anyone else when I am done. I just wake up every day... and go to bed every day.... thinking "Yup, ive done it again.... the TODAY me has kicked the ass out of the YESTERDAY me once again"

But THATS JUST ME. I dont know if it will work for you. Or anyone else on this thread. But its gotten me where I am today. And I have been told a few times that where I am today is enviable.

Carpet diem

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I was a bit of a lay about waster when I was in college. And I think I justified that to myself by looking at the people around me who were "better" than me - and telling myself I would never be "as good" as them - so why even try?

I can not tell you how to build up these things like you asked. But I can certainly tell you how I did it. If it helps.

I shifted my focus. I simply decided that I was no longer going to judge my self or my self worth against the people around me.

Instead I set myself a really simple goal.

It was this simple:

"From now on.... every day.... I will go to bed being "better" than the person who woke up that morning".

In other words I decided that my self confidence and my sense of self was going to be predicated on bettering myself on the person I was the day before.

And HOW I did that was irrelevant. One day it might be running a little bit further or longer than the day before.... or id learn something i didnt know the day before...... or id do meditation longer or better than the day before..... or I would show more compassion to someone today than I did the say before.....

... the simple point was.... that my self worth derived from bettering MYSELF in the 24 hours that was given me to do it. In some SMALL way or other. And it was small. Each and every day it was tiny.

But I did it every day.

And I STILL do it every day. I havent given up yet.

And my self pride and self worth? It comes from keeping up that journey. I havent set a goal. I havent told myself ill be better than anyone else when I am done. I just wake up every day... and go to bed every day.... thinking "Yup, ive done it again.... the TODAY me has kicked the ass out of the YESTERDAY me once again"

But THATS JUST ME. I dont know if it will work for you. Or anyone else on this thread. But its gotten me where I am today. And I have been told a few times that where I am today is enviable.

I have to say that is unreal advice - concentrate on on self! Thanks !

Carpet diem

Carpet diem wrote: »

I have to say that is unreal advice - concentrate on on self! Thanks !

But not totally on YOUR SELF either. You could better yourself.... for example..... by improving your relationship with a sworn enemy.... for example.

So it is not totally inward.

So the focus is on bettering yourself each day... but bettering yourself might mean concentration on "the other" too.

Once you go to bed happy that you have improved YOU in the wakefuls hours given you.

daukey34

Try AA buddy

Carpet diem

Sobriety is a gift that needs to be worked on and taken care of.

I'm working on it myself and I definitely could be doing more which I will. For instance when I go home I need to watch a DVD or something to fill the time cause let's be fair it can be bit not boring but time drags on a bit.

I'm very happy to lying in bed bed of a bank holiday Sunday at half 7 with clear head, not feeling angry with myself, angry towards others, not wakening up with a mouth like an ash tray after my first 3-4 hours sleep.

I have to say the debate on it forum website has been brilliant and makes for good thoughts.

One thing I have found from my endeveours to give up the drink is you just need an ultimate determination to get there and even people closest to you might get in your way but you just need to break down walks to get to SOBER and stay SOBER.

I have great difficulty with work occasions, weddings, funerals etc. In most situations I recommend not going at all. Pull out last minute or just dint turn up. If you really have to go , go and leave early. Have your jacket handy so you can just do a legger. **** what people say, everybody looks out for themselves and themselves only! Look out for number 1 and that is yourself.

Sunnyisland

Carpet diem wrote: »

Sobriety is a gift that needs to be worked on and taken care of.

I'm working on it myself and I definitely could be doing more which I will. For instance when I go home I need to watch a DVD or something to fill the time cause let's be fair it can be bit not boring but time drags on a bit.

I'm very happy to lying in bed bed of a bank holiday Sunday at half 7 with clear head, not feeling angry with myself, angry towards others, not wakening up with a mouth like an ash tray after my first 3-4 hours sleep.

I have to say the debate on it forum website has been brilliant and makes for good thoughts.

One thing I have found from my endeveours to give up the drink is you just need an ultimate determination to get there and even people closest to you might get in your way but you just need to break down walks to get to SOBER and stay SOBER.

I have great difficulty with work occasions, weddings, funerals etc. In most situations I recommend not going at all. Pull out last minute or just dint turn up. If you really have to go , go and leave early. Have your jacket handy so you can just do a legger. **** what people say, everybody looks out for themselves and themselves only! Look out for number 1 and that is yourself.

Great post carpet diem, it seems your now getting it, well done.

Carpet diem

Got my run in so far today and getting on lot better with OH. It feels good because she really is a great person.

I remember last time I stayed with a mate. He be mad to meet for drinking but next day mad to get you out of the house of I stayed in his spare room.All very artificial and no way to socialize really. Today I'm handing around with someone that wants to do something together.

GerB40

Next week it'll be 6 months without a drink. I honestly didn't believe 6 months ago that I'd be saying that and I'm pretty happy with that. I've went through a whole summer (usually a non stop drinking session), my birthday (no excuses needed) and following Tipp in the hurling (having been going to Tipp games all over the country since 2001 filled to the gills with drink every time, going to them sober was tough).
P.S. Losing the final was tougher though

I haven't taken tablets for three weeks either so I'm just waiting for two separate withdrawals to hit me like a tonne of bricks. It won't be fun (pretty fúckin rank actually) but I always felt like I was cheating sayin I was sober when I was falling back on prescription tabs (not prescribed by my doc) to avoid the worst of the withdrawals.

It felt like I was taking five steps forward an one step back..

But there's fewer feelings better than waking up on a Monday morning after a long weekend with a clear head and positive attitude.

I hope everyone else is doing well and if you're not, remember, there's an army of support here on this thread. Don't be afraid to ask for help because most are too willing to give it.

Sláinte

Carpet diem

GerB40 wrote: »

Next week it'll be 6 months without a drink. I honestly didn't believe 6 months ago that I'd be saying that and I'm pretty happy with that. I've went through a whole summer (usually a non stop drinking session), my birthday (no excuses needed) and following Tipp in the hurling (having been going to Tipp games all over the country since 2001 filled to the gills with drink every time, going to them sober was tough).
P.S. Losing the final was tougher though

I haven't taken tablets for three weeks either so I'm just waiting for two separate withdrawals to hit me like a tonne of bricks. It won't be fun (pretty fúckin rank actually) but I always felt like I was cheating sayin I was sober when I was falling back on prescription tabs (not prescribed by my doc) to avoid the worst of the withdrawals.

It felt like I was taking five steps forward an one step back..

But there's fewer feelings better than waking up on a Monday morning after a long weekend with a clear head and positive attitude.

I hope everyone else is doing well and if you're not, remember, there's an army of support here on this thread. Don't be afraid to ask for help because most are too willing to give it.

Sláinte

We're the tablets just to stop you drinking ie antabuse or to stop withdrawals? Very well done btw! Great success!

GerB40

Carpet diem wrote: »

We're the tablets just to stop you drinking ie antabuse or to stop withdrawals? Very well done btw! Great success!

To stop withdrawals. By the end of my drinking I was taking between 15 and 40 valium some nights and they seemed the easiest way to avoid the dreaded post acute withdrawal syndrome. I honestly thought it would work, fúck me what was I thinking??

Anyway I've learned a lesson but the whole experience has made me wonder if I'll ever be normal again. The tabs will always be in the back of my mind when I'm feeling shítty so hopefully these three weeks are the beginning of the road to recovery pt 2.

And thanks for the best wishes.


Edit: My doc would never give me any sort of tables that could be addictive, she knows I can't be trusted with them. I got them "elsewhere".

Carpet diem

You seem determined and you will succeed . Hotels definietly are a trigger for me as are airports. As soon as I set foot in one I'm looking for the bar.
I know that now as I will travel work more in the future.

I dint get the withdrwals too bad myself , I'm more the drinker that had.drank too much over long period of time with very heavy drinking. I think in AA they say there is the acute drinkuer and the heavy. I'm the latter but they are both problems that need to be dealt with. Just cause I'm not the acute drinker doesn't mean I don't have an issue, I used to think that but now I don't!!

GerB40

Carpet diem wrote: »

You seem determined and you will succeed . Hotels definietly are a trigger for me as are airports. As soon as I set foot in one I'm looking for the bar.
I know that now as I will travel work more in the future.

I dint get the withdrwals too bad myself , I'm more the drinker that had.drank too much over long period of time with very heavy drinking. I think in AA they say there is the acute drinkuer and the heavy. I'm the latter but they are both problems that need to be dealt with. Just cause I'm not the acute drinker doesn't mean I don't have an issue, I used to think that but now I don't!!

Actually that leads me to a question I've been wanting to ask for a while. What constitutes an alcoholic? It seems a very broad term and I'm not sure if I really count as one.

Drink has ruled my life for years but personally I look at that as being a compulsive drinker but I know alcoholics who have it way worse than I do and by comparison I'm fairly tame.

In short how do I know if I am an alcoholic or just somebody who let alcohol get the better of me? Or is there any difference?

I haven't been to AA because I don't feel worthy (for want of a better word) enough to converse with people with much bigger problems..

Carpet diem

Should be few guys in here that can give a better answer than myself?

Sunnyisland

P

GerB40 wrote: »

Actually that leads me to a question I've been wanting to ask for a while. What constitutes an alcoholic? It seems a very broad term and I'm not sure if I really count as one.

Drink has ruled my life for years but personally I look at that as being a compulsive drinker but I know alcoholics who have it way worse than I do and by comparison I'm fairly tame.

In short how do I know if I am an alcoholic or just somebody who let alcohol get the better of me? Or is there any difference?

I haven't been to AA because I don't feel worthy (for want of a better word) enough to converse with people with much bigger problems..

Here's a few reasons why you might be heading down the long road of alcohol abuse,one that is hard but not impossible to turn of.

1. inability to control alcohol intake after starting to drink
2. obsessing about alcohol (ie, next time the person can drink, how they are going to get alcohol, who they're going to go out drinking with)
3. behaving in ways, while drunk, that are uncharacteristic of their sober personality
4. repeating unwanted drinking patterns
5. surrounding themselves socially with heavy drinkers
6. getting drunk before actually arriving at parties/bars (pre-partying)
7. increasing sense of denial that their heavy drinking is a problem because they are able to succeed professionally and personally
8. setting drinking limits (ie, only having 3 drinks, only drinking 3 days per week) and not being able to adhere to them
9. driving drunk and, by sheer luck, not getting arrested or involved in an accident
10. always having to finish an alcoholic beverage or even another person's unfinished beverage
11. using alcohol as a reward
12. drinking daily
13. living a double life by separating drinking life from professional or home life
14. binge drinking (more than 5 drinks in one sitting)
15. having chronic blackouts (memory lapse due to excessive drinking) and not remembering what they did for a portion of their drinking episode
16. feeling guilt and shame about their drunken behaviors
17. taking breaks from drinking and then increasing alcohol consumption when they resume drinking after a period of time
18. people have expressed concern about their negative drunken behaviors
19. engaging in risky sexual behavior when intoxicated
20. not being able to imagine their life without alcohol in it

Re AA the part where I loved was the the knowledge that everyone was there because of one reason only, there desire to stop drinking, we all had that in common and it did not matter a dam where your from or what you did did not work at, Alcoholism/abuse/heavy drinking has no boundaries

Sunnyisland

Carpet diem wrote: »

Should be few guys in here that can give a better answer than myself?

:-) Your opinion on it Carpet diem are just important and knowledgeable as anyone else's :-)

Carpet diem

realies wrote: »

:-) Your opinion on it Carpet diem are just important and knowledgeable as anyone else's :-)

I believe there are two types of problem drinkers that fit within the category of alcoholism

1) heavy drinker.

One who has persisted over a sustained period of time to binge drink and where their drinking becomes a determinent to their daily living. Because this drinking is over a long period of time it is not something you can change very easily. This is why help is needed. The drinker van ofen go cold turkey for a few days but then binges again.

2) acute drinker.
One who needs a drink as soon as they get up in the morning and constantly keeps topped up and will go to any lengths for a drink.

Both types manifest themselves in different ways but both will lead to the same outcome for the person. That is why they both are the same problem imo.

GerB40

realies wrote: »

P

Here's a few reasons why you might be heading down the long road of alcohol abuse,one that is hard but not impossible to turn of.

1. inability to control alcohol intake after starting to drink
2. obsessing about alcohol (ie, next time the person can drink, how they are going to get alcohol, who they're going to go out drinking with)
3. behaving in ways, while drunk, that are uncharacteristic of their sober personality
4. repeating unwanted drinking patterns
5. surrounding themselves socially with heavy drinkers
6. getting drunk before actually arriving at parties/bars (pre-partying)
7. increasing sense of denial that their heavy drinking is a problem because they are able to succeed professionally and personally
8. setting drinking limits (ie, only having 3 drinks, only drinking 3 days per week) and not being able to adhere to them
9. driving drunk and, by sheer luck, not getting arrested or involved in an accident
10. always having to finish an alcoholic beverage or even another person's unfinished beverage
11. using alcohol as a reward
12. drinking daily
13. living a double life by separating drinking life from professional or home life
14. binge drinking (more than 5 drinks in one sitting)
15. having chronic blackouts (memory lapse due to excessive drinking) and not remembering what they did for a portion of their drinking episode
16. feeling guilt and shame about their drunken behaviors
17. taking breaks from drinking and then increasing alcohol consumption when they resume drinking after a period of time
18. people have expressed concern about their negative drunken behaviors
19. engaging in risky sexual behavior when intoxicated
20. not being able to imagine their life without alcohol in it

Re AA the part where I loved was the the knowledge that everyone was there because of one reason only, there desire to stop drinking, we all had that in common and it did not matter a dam where your from or what you did did not work at, Alcoholism/abuse/heavy drinking has no boundaries

15 out of 19 (I don't drive so that one wouldn't apply to me). Thanks for putting that up, it made me realise what I already knew but preferred to ignore. I suppose going to a meeting or two couldn't do any harm, it seems like I'll be welcomed there..

GerB40

Carpet diem wrote: »

I believe there are two types of problem drinkers that fit within the category of alcoholism

1) heavy drinker.

One who has persisted over a sustained period of time to binge drink and where their drinking becomes a determinent to their daily living. Because this drinking is over a long period of time it is not something you can change very easily. This is why help is needed. The drinker van ofen go cold turkey for a few days but then binges again.

2) acute drinker.
One who needs a drink as soon as they get up in the morning and constantly keeps topped up and will go to any lengths for a drink.

Both types manifest themselves in different ways but both will lead to the same outcome for the person. That is why they both are the same problem imo.

By these criteria I'd definitely class myself as a heavy drinker. Thanks for the help lads, I know now what I have to do. I never felt deserving enough to go to AA (probably says more about me than anything else) but ye sold it well

Now to gather the courage to actually do it...

Carpet diem

There is no other drug or activity in the world where it is acceptable for people to waste days hungover, looking like a mess , eating craps, , turn up for work late ( I know it can be after Xmas party etc) .