Partner of

lofty12

Hi everyone,

Anyone on here a partner of someone in AA?
My partner has been attending meetings for over a year now and has made amazing friends there.
I'm thinking of going to an al - anon meeting as I sometimes feel alone and can't talk to my other friends as they would not understand
. All they want to do is socialise in the pub anyway.!
I'd rather get a coffee/ tea or just go to to the cinema or something.
Fair play to ye all for having the courage to take the step.

Sunnyisland

Drop in to a al - anon meeting it will be a good idea,One of the side effects of giving up drinking is that the person usually end,s up having a whole new group of friends and social occasions in which a lot of times there partners are not included,It can cause some strains in the relationship,So go for it lofty you will enjoy it.

xim2

Hey sounds like a good idea, i agree with you, the socializing aspect is tough if all ur buddies drink, I basically had to start over with new friends, I just wonder if the AA are not too intense?

Wattle

xim2 wrote: »

Hey sounds like a good idea, i agree with you, the socializing aspect is tough if all ur buddies drink, I basically had to start over with new friends, I just wonder if the AA are not too intense?

Different approaches suit different people. I went to AA for a while but found it wasn't for me however you may find that it works for you. And yes if you keep attending regularly you will make friends.

lofty12

Hi, will drop into al - anon meeting this week. Thanks.
It's my partner that attends aa and has made great friends that he would see one or another every day and then the meetings on top of that.

It is tough on me sometimes but I know it's not about me.
I think attending al- anon and prob getting new friends might be a good idea for me too.

anhedonia

Hey Lofty, I have been attending AA regularly for the past year and I think that a 12-step program could be of great benefit to anyone, not just addicts. Basically the program teaches you to be a better person, more compassionate and helpful to others. This is a long way to come for an addict who is selfish to the core by their very nature, addiction being self-will run riot. It has also brought some spirituality into my life, and I say this as someone who doesnt believe in God, im actually very much against organised religion in all it forms, but AA has taught me to be at peace with myself through meditation and being mindful of others, not caught up in self. These days I sleep easy, knowing that I spent my day just trying to the next right thing, and nothing beyond that. Can you see a massive positive change in your partner's life from working a program? Give al-anon a shot, you have nothing to lose.

Also different meetings have different vibes, and I guess I was lucky to stumble upon a meeting with a great message and very serene atmosphere. Ive been to other meetings that were lacking, and I could tell had I arrived at these meetings initially I would've left thinking that AA is not for me. Just a thought.

lofty12

Without a doubt. Positive change. Worlds apart from previous life.
No excuses or lies etc.
I actually read a couple of chapters from a book he got at one of the meetings and think I could def apply it to my own life too and try to be the best person I can be.

Sunnyisland

anhedonia wrote: »

Hey Lofty, I have been attending AA regularly for the past year and I think that a 12-step program could be of great benefit to anyone, not just addicts. Basically the program teaches you to be a better person, more compassionate and helpful to others. This is a long way to come for an addict who is selfish to the core by their very nature, addiction being self-will run riot. It has also brought some spirituality into my life, and I say this as someone who doesnt believe in God, im actually very much against organised religion in all it forms, but AA has taught me to be at peace with myself through meditation and being mindful of others, not caught up in self. These days I sleep easy, knowing that I spent my day just trying to the next right thing, and nothing beyond that. Can you see a massive positive change in your partner's life from working a program? Give al-anon a shot, you have nothing to lose.

Also different meetings have different vibes, and I guess I was lucky to stumble upon a meeting with a great message and very serene atmosphere. Ive been to other meetings that were lacking, and I could tell had I arrived at these meetings initially I would've left thinking that AA is not for me. Just a thought.

Great post

lofty12

Thanks, going to pop into one on Wednesday now.

lofty12

Hi,I went to a meeting but ultimately we broke up. I just could not get past the hurt. Think once the trust was gone, it was gone forever. I really tried hard and wanted it to work but we both realise its for the best. I was with him before and after he joined so I have see him go through a lot. He is in a much better place now and made brilliant friends in AA. I know if I met him now things would be a lot different and I know he will make someone very happy. I think we still remain very good friends.
I have come to realise my friends are not worth a sh!t apart from 1 who is very good and my ex which I will always care for.
Sorry went on a ramble there, but just wanted to say I think AA is brilliant with how it helps ppl.