Too fussy

Daisy78

riveratom wrote: »

Daisy78 wrote: »

I thought it was fairly common knowledge that women went for guys around the same age or a bit older, and men generally preferred women around the same age or younger.

Sure in most married couples the man is generally older by a few years or so, no? Haven't seen any stats, that's just from what I reckon, and what I've observed over the years.

Also, based on my experience of online dating, I can tell you that I rarely/never see a woman's age range for a potential partner down as younger than her own age. In other words, if the woman is say 29, she will usually have 29-36 down as her desired age range, etc.

Over the years that may be the case as up until recent times it made sense for women to choose an older partner as they would have more life experience, be more secure financially and would act as a surrogate "father figure", those being the days where women moved from their fathers house to their husbands. Given that this scenario for the most part no longer exists women are no longer restricted to choosing from a certain demographic or age group...the world is our oyster.

Now notwithstanding the above I will say this.....I think its natural for people to have preferences in what they would Like in a mate, things that you would feel are essential to form and maintain attraction. But I think you would do yourself a disservice if you didn't keep an open mind and a sense of curiosity when it comes to dating/romance as you could miss out on somebody that is so right for you but might not tick many of your boxes. As another boardsie posted there is nothing nicer than being surprised by someone that you wouldn't have initially considered.

clairefontaine

Wibbs wrote: »

Dating again and being fully open I'd see as two slightly different things or can be CF. They're dating, but are they serious about actually dropping their emotional guard if you know what I mean.

Part of this might be what S is getting at here;

And I'd agree as this is also something I've seen more in my male mates and acquaintances too. I have found - and this is generally lest I take flak for it:) - that men as they age are less adaptable than women. Both emotionally and in their lifestyles. More likely to as you say set in their ways. Among my male mates the exceptions to this do tend to stand out.

Ah ok I get you. In that case, in my experience, I can't say I have noticed any trend in either gender one way or another, the ones I know have so many variables, it's impossible to say.

Also I don't know how concious these things are, law of attraction and all that, law of projection and laws of repellent. Technically it's all a choice, or we like to think it is, but I'm not so certain of that.

LegacyUser

I know men and woman who are in there 30's and early 40's and they are not in relationships.

I know some single women who have a list of what they want in a man and are not willing to consider anyone who does not tick all there so called box's mean while some men will only go out with a certain type of woman or with a woman who have a so called good job.
I know several couples who when they first meet it was not love at 1st sight and as they got to know the other person properly they found someone who loved them.
They made time for each other, supported each other during exams, during times of family problems and showed the other person how well they fitted with each other and in there lives.

To meet someone you need to be happy with your own life and what you can offer another person. I think that most men and women don't want to get involved with someone who is going to become there shadow. It is important to keep your own friends and interests when you are going out with some one or are married.

Some women want marriage and children when some men don't want a family and you need to be honest with your other half about issues like these.