World's Worst Chat-Up Lines

TheBegotten · 18-02-2013 12:45am #1

Let's compile a list of the cheesiest, dirtiest, rudest OTT chat-up lines (or stories) you've ever heard; thought of; or (god forbid) used. No restrictions - whether they were successful or not is irrelevant. Try and give us some sort of back story with them.

Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day! My friend was stupid enough to use this in first year on a girl he's known since he was 6. Over facebook. And she had a boyfriend. It was brilliant, and the best part was he took it from the /flirt command in World of Warcraft. Not that it mattered much, he later turned out to be gay.

Jamie Starr · 18-02-2013 3:29am

Nothing more cringe-worthy than the age-old: "Hey, do you want to have sex with me in my bed?"

Scar Tissue · 18-02-2013 3:31am

There's a series running on Youtube called "Drive By Pickup Lines", funny as hell (imo), some of the chat up lines are cringey as hell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSfoLcRTtRg

(more on their channel)

Jamie Starr · 18-02-2013 3:44am

I see your drive-by pick up lines, and I raise you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAtoL7_XNeg

Junco Partner · 18-02-2013 4:06am

Any chance of the shift has worked a few times. no effort or creativity. but it got results.

burstbuckle · 18-02-2013 4:36am

Him:Fancy a game of rape?

Her: No

Him: that's the spirit

playedalive · 18-02-2013 9:30am

I know somebody years ago from school who said: So, do you want to take advantage of a drunk guy?

And she scored him.

/classy

JamJamJamJam · 18-02-2013 10:26am

You'll do

Jacks Smirking Revenge · 19-02-2013 1:36am

THIS

cheesefiend · 21-02-2013 1:49am

A boy used this one on me years ago:

Him: Did you spray yourself with window clean?
Me: Noo, why do I smell weird?
Him: No, but I can see myself in your pants tonight.

It didn't work.

I also think it's funny when boys walk up to random girls, stare into their eyes, say 'I love you' and walk away. It's creepy but makes me laugh.

TheBegotten · 21-02-2013 11:52pm

Josh Homme wrote:

I've a beautiful place to put your face.

I always cringe when I hear that...:D
I came across this one when I was 13 & in love...or so I thought:p

Me:"Do you have a plaster"
Her:"No, why?"
Me:"I scraped my knee when I fell for you;)"
Her: *stunned silence followed by awkward laugh*

Cereal Number · 21-02-2013 11:56pm

Do you like dragons?

Because I'll be dragging my balls across your face tonight

Jesus Juice · 22-02-2013 12:08am

Get in the van.

wnolan1992 · 22-02-2013 12:54am

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

PseudoFamous · 22-02-2013 5:19pm

Yarr, I'm a pirate, and I'm here for your booty

KamiKazeKitten · 22-02-2013 5:47pm

This isn't really a line but I'm still baffled by it tbh!

A while back a drunk guy stumbled up to me, asked "what's your name?" and then said "oh, my friend has your name tattooed on his ass!"
He called the mate over and made him show me - the guy really did have Your Name written across his backside.
Cue both of them looking expectantly at me.

Just...why...

eoins23456 · 22-02-2013 5:53pm

KamiKazeKitten wrote: »

This isn't really a line but I'm still baffled by it tbh!

A while back a drunk guy stumbled up to me, asked "what's your name?" and then said "oh, my friend has your name tattooed on his ass!"
He called the mate over and made him show me - the guy really did have Your Name written across his backside.
Cue both of them looking expectantly at me.

Just...why...

the guy had KKK on his ass ?terrible chat up line :pac:

KamiKazeKitten · 22-02-2013 5:57pm

eoins23456 wrote: »

the guy had KKK on his ass ?terrible chat up line :pac:

Even worse - the guy had Your Name tattooed on his ass :pac:
Can't work out was it brilliant or awful tbh!

Skinnykenyan · 22-02-2013 6:02pm

Me: you must be a train
Her:eh why???
Me: cos ur onrail!!!!!!

eoins23456 · 22-02-2013 6:04pm

KamiKazeKitten wrote: »

Even worse - the guy had Your Name tattooed on his ass :pac:
Can't work out was it brilliant or awful tbh!

Haha i retract my comment , thats up there with the best :P

TheBegotten · 22-02-2013 11:38pm

PseudoFamous wrote: »

Yarr, I'm a pirate, and I'm here for your booty

...that's actually quite clever

at least for entertainment value.

HistoryKitty · 28-02-2013 3:28am

I challenged my roommates (all lads) go out one night and try to get girls by using chat up lines :L
Some of the ones they used were
"My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in"

"You owe me a drink"
"Why?"
"Cause you made me drop mine when I saw you" (My roommate actually got bought a drink) :L

Those two are the only ones I can remember :L

enfield · 28-02-2013 8:29am

In my day I used to say;
"Thank you very much"
"For What"
"For bringing a little bit of glamour into a dull day"

Liam90 · 02-03-2013 1:16pm

This is funny

wnolan1992 · 09-03-2013 3:31pm

I posted about this in Argh, but:

"Hey pretty lady! Wanna have intercourse?"

Being shouted from a balcony at 3am probably has to go down as one of the worst I've actually heard...

callmepetardu · 06-04-2013 3:27pm

One of my friends was intoxicated one night and stood a bit away from the girls bathrooms in the club saying "You're hot" to every girl who looked his way.

Oddly enough, he got the shift multiple times...

Ken. · 06-04-2013 3:32pm

Seen a friend use this one night in a nightclub in Carlow a good few years ago.

You have spanner eyes,every time I see them my nuts tighten.

They'll be married 9 or 10 years this August.

TheBegotten · 10-04-2013 12:33am

"Do you believe in love at first sight or arent you drunk yet?"

"Everytime I see your eyes I believe just that little bit more" Just why...

And the old classic "I'd say you shift like a mad beast"

And basicly anything from an Eric Clapton song, of course.