not being part of your childs life

cena

Could you not be part of your childs life?

I don't know how people can just walk away from there children

whiskeyman

Lol, wut?

Jazzmaster

AH might not be the best place. Try the Mrs. Lovejoy forum.

Durz0 Blint

did your man/woman walk away Cena?

cena

Durz0 Blint wrote: »

did your man/woman walk away Cena?

No they didn't.

smash

'Been' does not equal 'being'

And it's their life, not there life.

Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

HondaSami

smash wrote: »

'Been' does not equal 'being'

And it's their life, not there life.

Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

Stop it now.

round tower huntsman

smash wrote: »

'Been' does not equal 'being'

And it's their life, not there life.

Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

yeah people shud speak proper english like i does.

BubbleBalls

smash wrote: »

'Been' does not equal 'being'

And it's their life, not there life.

Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

Since you started
at f*cking record speed

The Dagda

smash wrote: »

'Been' does not equal 'being'

And it's their life, not there life.

Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

BECOMING illiterate

AT record speed

:pac:

HondaSami

cena wrote: »

Could you not be part of your childs life?

I don't know how people can just walk away from there children

People leave relationships for many different reasons but they do not leave their children, it can be difficult to see them and be part of their lives but that is usually because the parents cannot get along and use the children to score points of eachother, not all parents btw.
If there is another man/woman involved then it makes it even harder but a happy home is better for the children than an unhappy home.

smash

BubbleBalls wrote: »

Since you started
at f*cking record speed

I noticed that after I posted. Autocorrect got me!

Czarcasm

cena wrote: »

Could you not be part of your childs life?

I don't know how people can just walk away from there children

I hate these loaded OP questions, so I'm just going to go with:


Men/Women are bastards/bitches.


Delete as appropriate. Probably would've needed a poll, but given how much lack of effort has gone into the OP, a poll would've probably been asking for a bit much.

BubbleBalls

Some parents choose not to be part of their kids life, some kids wish for it.

efb

smash wrote: »

I noticed that after I posted. Autocorrect got me!

why would autocorrect change at to as?

Cavehill Red

Ah, another glass of single mother's favourite w(h)ine.
Delicious!

As a single father, let me ask you this, OP: do you really believe anyone 'walks away' from their children, or are they more likely in fact to be discouraged by the requirement to engage in an expensive, adversarial court process in order to obtain even a provisional involvement in their children's lives following a relationship break up?
Also, do you think anyone would 'walk away' from their children if we had parental equality enshrined in law from birth, as is the case in Scandinavia?

cena

Czarcasm wrote: »

I hate these loaded OP questions, so I'm just going to go with:


Men/Women are bastards/bitches.


Delete as appropriate. Probably would've needed a poll, but given how much lack of effort has gone into the OP, a poll would've probably been asking for a bit much.

I was going to put in a poll, but decided not to.

smash

efb wrote: »

why would autocorrect change at to as?

Because S is beside A and my finger hit them both by mistake.

round tower huntsman

in some cases i think kids are better of if certain or both parents have sfa to do with em growing uo.

efb

smash wrote: »

Because S is beside A and my finger hit them both by mistake.

So you typed as - nothing to do with autocorrect...

HondaSami

efb wrote: »

So you typed as - nothing to do with autocorrect...

Does it matter? he made a mistake.

BubbleBalls

People do walk away from their kids. OP states no circumstances.

Jazzmaster

I'm guessing he typed ast and got auto corrected...

Cavehill Red

BubbleBalls wrote: »

People do walk away from their kids. OP states no circumstances.

No, they don't actually. People respond to complex circumstances. About the only example I am aware of where anyone literally walked away from their kids are those few occasions when skanky mums fecked off to Ibiza for the week and left the ten year old in charge of the four year old with a bag of cheese and onion for dinner.

efb

Ast corrects to say

humbert

Today's episode of Jeremy Kyle has really made an impression on the OP.

Cavehill Red

efb wrote: »

Ast corrects to say

Is there a spellcheck dickhead contest going on simultaneously as the rest of the thread or something?

BubbleBalls

And responding to circumstances they walk away.

Jazzmaster

A secret spellcheck dickhead contest. Shh...

Cavehill Red

BubbleBalls wrote: »

And responding to circumstances they walk away.

No, they respond to circumstances. Sometimes that is an inequitable legal system or an incalcitrant co-parent. Sometimes it's the requirement to emigrate for employment. Sometimes it's something else that life throws up. The emotive and inaccurate phrase 'walking away' is a nonsense, no less than 'deadbeat dad' or 'welfare queen' are nonsenses.
We're collectively smarter than that sort of idiot rhetoric, and I intend to call people on it when I see it.

Busted Flat.

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Ah, another glass of single mother's favourite w(h)ine.
Delicious!

As a single father, let me ask you this, OP: do you really believe anyone 'walks away' from their children, or are they more likely in fact to be discouraged by the requirement to engage in an expensive, adversarial court process in order to obtain even a provisional involvement in their children's lives following a relationship break up?
Also, do you think anyone would 'walk away' from their children if we had parental equality enshrined in law from birth, as is the case in Scandinavia?

Partners can be real sick and nasty, and go to great lengths to destroy the kids opinion, of their fathers. Believe me it sticks, they have the time to do it when you are out working.
But such is life in this corrupt little statlet.

feargale

smash wrote: »

'Been' does not equal 'being'
And it's their life, not there life.
Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

Is that more important than the question posed by OP? It is the height of insensitive rudeness to openly embarrass people re misspelling. Also, I fail to see why one should assume that "being" is incorrect.

hairyprincess

Cavehill Red wrote: »

No, they don't actually. People respond to complex circumstances. About the only example I am aware of where anyone literally walked away from their kids are those few occasions when skanky mums fecked off to Ibiza for the week and left the ten year old in charge of the four year old with a bag of cheese and onion for dinner.

Ah yes they do. Actually. I have a child who hasn't seen her father in over ten years, purely because he has no interest. And nothing I say or do will change his mind. The door is wide open, all he had to do is walk through it but he won't.

So less of the generalisations please.

Czarcasm

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Is there a spellcheck dickhead contest going on simultaneously as the rest of the thread or something?

Did you not see efb's thread earlier? Himself and his cousin have iphones, man knows his shìt like! :pac:

Cavehill Red

hairyprincess wrote: »

Ah yes they do. Actually. I have a child who hasn't seen her father in over ten years, purely because he has no interest. And nothing I say or do will change his mind. The door is wide open, all he had to do is walk through it but he won't.

So less of the generalisations please.

I've really no interest in discussing your anecdotal experience, which will likely amend itself throughout the debate to support whatever argument you desire it to.
I would suggest that you are disingenuous in suggesting that your child's father simply 'walked away', and suspect that, as in every such case, there are two sides to the story, and yours is only one of them.

BubbleBalls

Cavehill Red wrote: »

No, they respond to circumstances. Sometimes that is an inequitable legal system or an incalcitrant co-parent. Sometimes it's the requirement to emigrate for employment. Sometimes it's something else that life throws up. The emotive and inaccurate phrase 'walking away' is a nonsense, no less than 'deadbeat dad' or 'welfare queen' are nonsenses.
We're collectively smarter than that sort of idiot rhetoric, and I intend to call people on it when I see it.

Fair point. That's why I stated no circumstance was made in the OP.

Walking away is simplistic, does not account for circumstances. Unfortunately, a child's mind more often cannot account for these circumstances so the situation is simplified, either by them or for them.

clairefontaine

There are lots of reasons.

Could be they think its better than the child living in life long hostility between two adults.

Could be they don't want the responsibility.

Could be they are just not interested.

Could be they don't know the unforeseen consequences of walking away so it's not a decision made in maturity.

Sad though whatever the reason.

hairyprincess

Cavehill Red wrote: »

I've really no interest in discussing your anecdotal experience, which will likely amend itself throughout the debate to support whatever argument you desire it to.
I would suggest that you are disingenuous in suggesting that your child's father simply 'walked away', and suspect that, as in every such case, there are two sides to the story, and yours is only one of them.

Wow!!! How many bitter pills have you swallowed today?? Can't handle the truth that your fellow males can and do walk away eh?

And don't call me a liar

Cavehill Red

hairyprincess wrote: »

Wow!!! How many bitter pills have you swallowed today?? Can't handle the truth that your fellow males can and do walk away eh?

And don't call me a liar

And that, folks, is why one should never attempt rational debate with single mothers who insist on dragging their own anecdotal experience into discussion.

Fannyhead

smash wrote: »

'Been' does not equal 'being'

And it's their life, not there life.

Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

I find you impertinent.

HondaSami

hairyprincess wrote: »

Wow!!! How many bitter pills have you swallowed today?? Can't handle the truth that your fellow males can and do walk away eh?

And don't call me a liar

Some women walk away also. I'm not sure of your circumstances but id imagine it's easier walk away if you never knew the child.

Cavehill Red

BubbleBalls wrote: »

Fair point. That's why I stated no circumstance was made in the OP.

Walking away is simplistic, does not account for circumstances. Unfortunately, a child's mind more often cannot account for these circumstances so the situation is simplified, either by them or for them.

Yes, child perception is one thing, and indeed is often supported or guided by the animus of the remaining parent in too many cases down the narrative of simplistic abandonment.
Of course it is not possible to explain to very small children the reason for an absent parent, and many parents, harbouring leftover emotions from the relationship split find it difficult to do so without engaging in an abandonment narrative (which simultaneously creates a hero narrative applying to themselves.)
But a child's perception isn't reality, though it may have real consequences in the long term. The OP didn't refer to children thinking their parents had walked away. It referred to parents walking away, which entirely ignored the complexity of individual circumstances that most of us would consider to be relevant.

Czarcasm

Cavehill Red wrote: »

And that, folks, is why one should never attempt rational debate with single mothers who insist on dragging their own anecdotal experience into discussion.

Fairness Cavehill you introduced the anecdotal experience with this little stereotypical gem-

Cavehill Red wrote: »

No, they don't actually. People respond to complex circumstances. About the only example I am aware of where anyone literally walked away from their kids are those few occasions when skanky mums fecked off to Ibiza for the week and left the ten year old in charge of the four year old with a bag of cheese and onion for dinner.

You're not the only fan of calling it like they see it.

Busted Flat.

hairyprincess wrote: »

Wow!!! How many bitter pills have you swallowed today?? Can't handle the truth that your fellow males can and do walk away eh?

And don't call me a liar

Some like to play the victim.

clairefontaine

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Yes, child perception is one thing, and indeed is often supported or guided by the animus of the remaining parent in too many cases down the narrative of simplistic abandonment.
Of course it is not possible to explain to very small children the reason for an absent parent, and many parents, harbouring leftover emotions from the relationship split find it difficult to do so without engaging in an abandonment narrative (which simultaneously creates a hero narrative applying to themselves.)
But a child's perception isn't reality, though it may have real consequences in the long term. The OP didn't refer to children thinking their parents had walked away. It referred to parents walking away, which entirely ignored the complexity of individual circumstances that most of us would consider to be relevant.

Right. But isn't it better to be present and fight your corner? Doesn't running away validate the narrative?

joe stodge

hairyprincess wrote: »

Wow!!! How many bitter pills have you swallowed today?? Can't handle the truth that your fellow males can and do walk away eh?

And don't call me a liar

Just come out and say it we're all bastarðs.

Busted Flat.

clairefontaine wrote: »

Right. But isn't it better to be present and fight your corner? Doesn't running away validate the narrative?

Have you any experience in that.

Super-Rush

cena wrote: »

Could you not be part of your childs life?

I don't know how people can just walk away from there children

Is there a point to this thread?

smash wrote: »

'Been' does not equal 'being'

And it's their life, not there life.

Ffs when did schools stop teaching properly. This country is getting illiterate as f*cking record speed!

Banned.

clairefontaine

joe stodge wrote: »

Just come out and say it we're all bastarðs.

I don't think that's what she was saying. I think she just provided a personal example of something that doesn't fit with another poster's theory.

It's a bit silly to expect a one size fits all answer to this and acceptable for people to provide personal anecdotal examples, not everything fits into a stat sheet or what you read in an opinion piece in a newspaper.

Cavehill Red

clairefontaine wrote: »

Right. But isn't it better to be present and fight your corner? Doesn't running away validate the narrative?

Leaving the situation (as opposed to the emotive term 'running away') does facilitate the creation of an abandonment narrative, especially if the remaining parent feeds that narrative.
But it isn't always possible for people to remain in circumstances they may find intolerable or impossible. I don't judge, as all circumstances are different.
At the risk of introducing irrelevant anecdote, I stayed and fought for a meaningful role in my child's life, at the cost of innumerable career, love and employment opportunities. I would not blame others in similar circumstances for concluding that, faced with a hostile and adversarial family law system, the better course might be to retreat and re-engage with their child at a later time and place and circumstances. It is exceedingly hard to generalise.

BubbleBalls

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Yes, child perception is one thing, and indeed is often supported or guided by the animus of the remaining parent in too many cases down the narrative of simplistic abandonment.
Of course it is not possible to explain to very small children the reason for an absent parent, and many parents, harbouring leftover emotions from the relationship split find it difficult to do so without engaging in an abandonment narrative (which simultaneously creates a hero narrative applying to themselves.)
But a child's perception isn't reality, though it may have real consequences in the long term. The OP didn't refer to children thinking their parents had walked away. It referred to parents walking away, which entirely ignored the complexity of individual circumstances that most of us would consider to be relevant.

Well argued.


[/Quote]Could you not be part of your childs life?

I don't know how people can just walk away from there children [/Quote]

More details would help.