some boardsies

Praetorian Saighdiuir

iguy wrote: »

cyber-bullying, that's what I would call it,
Its still real people at the end of the day,
like I'll use myself as an example,
what if I posted in the nocturnal forum on boards and whatever I posted didn't make sense and some other user got angry and said to me 'oh I don't understand that explain more etc' in what I would call aggressive text.
I've had suicidal thoughts in the past, like I said previously I have bipolar along with other medical problems, but imagine.
You hear about it all the time,
I'm not trying to say boo-hoo poor me,
be nice I'll commit suicide.
I hope people understand where I'm coming from as I find it hard to explain things.

Your best bet is to stay off the internet so. There is no way on Earth that you will stop people being people. It doesn't sound like an unpredictible place like Boards will do you any good.

I wouldn't define someone pointing out a spelling mistake as cyber bullying. Even if one of these ":rolleyes:" was added.

You should practice self preservation by not engaging in something where you are going to leave yourself vulnerable.

NegativeCreep

If you don't trust yourself to not get offended then why come onto the site in the first place?
I have depression myself but stuff on the internet doesn't affect it at all. Why would you get offended by the opinion or thoughts of a person that you don't know and probably will never meet?

0ph0rce0

Waht teh hlel is tihs thraed all aoubt?????

iguy

Streng Verboten wrote: »

Who are nice boardsies at the beers?

People are meaner on the Internet, that's just the way things are, accept it.

the ah beers, I was going to go to one, except I didn't because I was anxious to what ya'd all be like in the real world!
That and I'm an alcoholic/recovering alcoholic...:/

clairefontaine

iguy wrote: »

cyber-bullying, that's what I would call it,
Its still real people at the end of the day,
like I'll use myself as an example,
what if I posted in the nocturnal forum on boards and whatever I posted didn't make sense and some other user got angry and said to me 'oh I don't understand that explain more etc' in what I would call aggressive text.
I've had suicidal thoughts in the past, like I said previously I have bipolar along with other medical problems, but imagine.
You hear about it all the time,
I'm not trying to say boo-hoo poor me,
be nice I'll commit suicide.
I hope people understand where I'm coming from as I find it hard to explain things.

Your post made sense to me.

Correcting grammar and spelling is just pettiness, nitpicking and immaturity. See through it, rather than let it get to you.

While you may be dyslexic, there is a certain amount of emotional illiteracy on the internet. Not sure why. It's like the screen does something to people.

The lesson is be careful with whom you share your internal realities. Not everyone will respect them.

0ph0rce0

Its after hours, where you go to take the piss, well not so much anymore cause you get banned for everything these days.

But when after hours gets quite, people go to other forums and take the piss, not that they mean too but they are just so used to taking the piss all the time that it becomes like force of habit.

Its the internet, I wouldnt look into that much.

RaRaRasputin

iguy wrote: »

cyber-bullying, that's what I would call it,
Its still real people at the end of the day,
like I'll use myself as an example,
what if I posted in the nocturnal forum on boards and whatever I posted didn't make sense and some other user got angry and said to me 'oh I don't understand that explain more etc' in what I would call aggressive text.
I've had suicidal thoughts in the past, like I said previously I have bipolar along with other medical problems, but imagine.
You hear about it all the time,
I'm not trying to say boo-hoo poor me,
be nice I'll commit suicide.
I hope people understand where I'm coming from as I find it hard to explain things.

Isn't it funny how during the whole thread no one struggled with our spelling though this was your main point of criticism? Instead, it seems, most people are struggling with your logic, which cannot be blamed on dyslexia.

Seriously, get a grip and adapt to different forms of communication rather than hopping into the victim corner.

Good night

SunDog

No,no(If I'm reading this right). He's saying AH people are decent it's in other parts of boards that the grmmer snobbes lurk. I do agree with clairefontaine's opinion above though.

clairefontaine

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Isn't it funny how during the whole thread no one struggled with our spelling though this was your main point of criticism? Instead, it seems, most people are struggling with your logic, which cannot be blamed on dyslexia.

Seriously, get a grip and adapt to different forms of communication rather than hopping into the victim corner.

Good night

You do realise that saying how you feel about something is not the same thing as playing the victim card. Talk about blackmail.

.....and then on all the suicide threads people are SHOCKED, ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED.... that men can't talk about their feelings.

What a god damned double bind.

The King of Moo

token101 wrote: »

If you're an adult and offended by anonymous posts you read on the internet you need to evaluate your life really.

Why?

If someone says something abusive to you, even if they don't really know you, it's hard not to get angry or upset, in real life or online.
And people online can know quite a bit about you and vice versa, depending on how often one posts in a forum. This gives any attack even more weight.

If I were chatting to someone in a pub for a little while and they called me a "c*nt," I'd get angry. I don't see why I should react completely differently just because the medium is different. Surely the message is what counts, in real life or online.

Saying one should ignore attacks online is like saying one should just shrug off abusive anonymous phone calls, because one can just hang up the phone.

iguy

iguy wrote: »

Some boards.ie user's can be so insensitive!
Like I made a grammar mistake in the business section, I've dyslexia albeit a slight form,
such as sometimes I don't paragraph or get on words mixed up or some such mistake.
It is not just that though, this is a good while back now, but I put up a thread that apparently didn't make sense to other boards.ie users and I get a tirade of smartness and abuse.
There is many other things I've noticed also.
I know this is after hours, but on ah you can get a decent response,
however have any of ye got opinions on this?
Not just my situation, but even yourself's, ever come across a hostile user etc?????

RaRaRasputin I know I was on about dyslexia, but read my op again(above),
you'll see that I was on about rude posters and hostile one's also,
also like I said I find it hard to explain things.
That's what I mean also users who don't read a whole thread even read it properly and then attack the op or even another user!!!
I'm sure this has happened many times before to other users.

Bipolar Joe

I despise this "It's just the Internet" excuse. I resent the idea that just because all you see of me is text on a screen, I am not a real person. You are all real people, too. Further more, being a long-time Internet user (Read: Massive nerd), I remember way back when, it was extremely bad form not to take into account the above mentioned fact. It's only a recent thing that it's OK to be a total prick online. Get it together, the lot of you. It's not just the Internet.

orestes

iguy wrote: »

cyber-bullying, that's what I would call it,
Its still real people at the end of the day,
like I'll use myself as an example,
what if I posted in the nocturnal forum on boards and whatever I posted didn't make sense and some other user got angry and said to me 'oh I don't understand that explain more etc' in what I would call aggressive text

Aggressive? That's asking you to explain yourself better so that the other person can understand you and reply to you better, if anything I would consider it being polite.

If you consider that aggressive do yourself a favour and stay out of the thunderdome.

iguy

0ph0rce0 wrote: »

Waht teh hlel is tihs thraed all aoubt?????

ha
I'm confused myself,
yeah I shouldn't have to stay off boards or the internet as a previous poster said or something along those lines anyway.
I'm not going to stay on the net because of other people and their insensitive minds.
I'm not innocent, if you go through some of my old posts when I joined boards, I was a smart so and so and it was also before I was diagnosed with my mental health problems.

iguy

orestes wrote: »

Aggressive? That's asking you to explain yourself better so that the other person can understand you and reply to you better, if anything I would consider it being polite.

If you consider that aggressive do yourself a favour and stay out of the thunderdome.

Sorry I shouldn't of said what I call aggressive text, I meant to say that it could even be more aggressive than my example,
like I said I find it hard to explain myself, sorry.
Oh I stay well clear of the thunderdome!!! ha!

Scruffles

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Sorry, but if you know you are having a bad day and decide to avoid AH why don't you avoid other forums as well? No one can know if/ when you are having "a bad day", but you know when it might be wise to avoid an online forum where people might be potentially mean to you.

Also, if someone posts a post that others genuinely cannot comprehend I don't see why they should be left to silently ponder on the meaning of the divine puzzle that seemingly descended heaven. While I agree that there is no need to be rude, this "rudeness" is also subjective to every one and you seem to realise yourself that there are times when you are more inclined to take things personally.

A third point to your mild dyslexia: a friend of mine has dyslexia too (diagnosed) and gets annoyed when people tease/mock/attack her for a spelling mistake. However, she spell checks her posts, emails etc to minimise the amount of errors because she wants to get her texts right herself. I can always understand her messages because there are spelling mistakes but those that are quite typical of dyslexics and I never saw anyone reacting negatively to her, so maybe consider her approach.

whilst having personal responsibility is very important,to look after self,example; having a mentaly weakened day and avoiding forums,the innocent targets of abuse,trolling or slurs shoud be held in higher rights priority than someone who aimlessly targets them due to learning issues,mental health problems etc;especialy on a board which has rules against this,forums shoud not be hand holders but we shoud also recognise that not everyone is the same;we all have different circumstances and different levels of tolerance-we do not have to know each others exact background to know that.

bollocko made a great point about grammar naziing in the rules,eg-dont bother mocking peoples grammar etc because those of us with difficulties have heard it all before.
if people feel they have a need to point out someones weaknesses;especialy when its obvious they have a difficulty then they need to look at themselves and why they feel the need to project,take some responsibility instead of passing on the buck.

the same goes for spell checking,not everyone is able to spell check-we all have very different circumstances so just because a friend can spell check doesnt mean every one else can.

am not dyslexic but am diagnosed under severe autism, learning disability [AKA intelectual disability in ireland and elsewhere] also have had many mild to moderate head injuries-all of these greatly affect language and pronouns understanding, grammar/spelling.
length of posts can go ridiculous as have got no working/short term memory,am unable to spell check as it involves multiple steps which cannot process-for important things have had staff sat there to go through each step but am not willing to lose the only bit of independance and privacy in life that have got,have always tried hardest to make point clear and also tell people in sig to pm for a rewording if need be.

people really do not know how many valid things can cause spelling grammr difficulties.
as do many peoples meds-one of the night meds am on makes it far worse,some peoples epileptic seizures affect the language centre for sometime afterwards and it screws up their spelling-have known an epileptic who genuinely had that form and she was regulary grammar naziid by ignorants, the poor girl didnt realise how she was spelling-it was completely non understandable mixture of what looked like random letters.

a lot of us on boards left school many years ago from a time when we were heavily vebaly and/or physicaly abused for our disabilities or difficulties,we do not need to go back there with armchair teachers confronting us on a forum designed for grown ups to interact with each other on a variety of subjects-there is a grammar nazi forum; folks can go join that instead of targeting people like the OP.

El Guapo!

There's no harm in a bit of banter and slagging every now and then. Sure, most Irish humour is based on slagging each other off. But the problem is when it goes from friendly banter to being a dick.

People can say "Oh it's the Internet, what do you expect?!", but that doesn't really cut it. If the OP was in here complaining about being slagged off while in the Thunderdome, then I'd tell them that they obviously don't understand the rules of that forum and if they are of a sensitive disposition then maybe they should steer clear of that particular corner of the Internet.
But that's not what the OP is talking about. He says he has encountered this sort of stuff in AH and in other forums on Boards. That's not on imo.

Apart from Grammar Nazi-ism being against the charter, its still a petty thing to do. So what if someone spelled a few words wrong? Who cares?! It makes absolutely no difference to the post and it only makes you look like a petty dickhead to point it out like that.
And saying, "Well if you don't like it, get out.", also doesn't cut it. Why should somebody avoid the Internet for fear of people belittling them just to seem like a big man in front of a load of strangers? It's all well and good saying people should grow a thicker skin, but not everyone's the same. You don't know what state of mind people are in. Personally, you could say what you like to me and its water off a ducks back, but for someone else it may be different.

I'm not saying you need to pussy-foot around everyone, but a bit of common decency wouldn't go amiss.

And I hate the, "Oh but it's After Hours" excuse. So what if its AH?! This might be a more light-hearted area of Boards and a bit of craic is to be expected, but it doesn't give people free reign to be pricks to each other. It's a generally civilised forum. If people want to ridicule each other head to the Thunderdome. Or if that's not enough then there's always 4chan, where you can argue to your hearts content with other 14 year old imbeciles.

ScumLord

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I despise this "It's just the Internet" excuse. I resent the idea that just because all you see of me is text on a screen, I am not a real person.

I remember when the internet was a haven for weirdness and insults were like a familiar hello. Then all the norms came on it and ruined it with their inability to separate **** that doesn't matter from **** that does.

up for anything

HondaSami wrote: »

I think we should have a happy hour on friday/sat night where we can go mad and let our hair down like the old days.

The good old days back in August 2012.



Cyber-bullying is going to get the internet closed down.

orestes

ScumLord wrote: »

I remember when the internet was a haven for weirdness and insults were like a familiar hello. Then all the norms came on it and ruined it with their inability to separate **** that doesn't matter from **** that does.

Weird part is that they used to give internet users sh1t for being nerds and weirdos, and now we're the bastards and bullies because they all found their way into the garden.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_September

--LOS--

Ye I do see a lot of that behaviour you are talking about around boards OP, you can even see it in the responses to this thread. On one hand you have to understand that 'walls of text' posts and text-speak posts are very irritating to read. For some people spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes are also irritating, personally I'd never correct posters on those things, I do realise there are probably quite a few dyslexic users on boards. From what I've seen though if people know you're dyslexic they'll be more patient/sensitive when reading your posts. I can't believe some of the responses here telling you, you shouldn't be using online forums, that's completely ridiculous, people should have read enough tragic news stories by now to know that cyber bullying is a very real thing, maybe they're the ones that shouldn't be using it if they feel like they have such free reign to abuse people.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

--LOS-- wrote: »

Ye I do see a lot of that behaviour you are talking about around boards OP, you can even see it in the responses to this thread. On one hand you have to understand that 'walls of text' posts and text-speak posts are very irritating to read. For some people spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes are also irritating, personally I'd never correct posters on those things, I do realise there are probably quite a few dyslexic users on boards. From what I've seen though if people know you're dyslexic they'll be more patient/sensitive when reading your posts. I can't believe some of the responses here telling you, you shouldn't be using online forums, that's completely ridiculous, people should have read enough tragic news stories by now to know that cyber bullying is a very real thing, maybe they're the ones that shouldn't be using it if they feel like they have such free reign to abuse people.

Sure you just did the same thing.

A/ wall of text..... B/ telling some people they should not be using online forums.

I know what the OP is saying. I am guilty of such nonsense one liners. I don't always think about how the reader will take my post. Then again, you never think that something you post would be construed so seriously or could be the catalyst to something nasty happening.

The easiest thing for someone who is of such a disposition is to avoid it best they can. Or realise that it's not personal....but people can't help taking things personally.

The King of Moo

Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

Sure you just did the same thing.

A/ wall of text..... B/ telling some people they should not be using online forums.

I know what the OP is saying. I am guilty of such nonsense one liners. I don't always think about how the reader will take my post. Then again, you never think that something you post would be construed so seriously or could be the catalyst to something nasty happening.

The easiest thing for someone who is of such a disposition is to avoid it best they can. Or realise that it's not personal....but people can't help taking things personally.

Sometimes it is personal though: there's a big difference between a misconstrued flippant remark and a deliberate, nasty attack against another user. I think the latter is what the OP is talking about, and in such cases it's not enough for the person just to avoid sites where they've been attacked. The onus is on the person attacking not to do so.

pastorbarrett

MrStuffins wrote: »

If you can't get basic grammar right your in the wrong place!

you're

Praetorian Saighdiuir

The King of Moo wrote: »

Sometimes it is personal though: there's a big difference between a misconstrued flippant remark and a deliberate, nasty attack against another user. I think the latter is what the OP is talking about, and in such cases it's not enough for the person just to avoid sites where they've been attacked. The onus is on the person attacking not to do so.

I agree.

But it's not as simple as that is it. Ultimately, it's the responsibilty of each one of us not to let ourselves get into a situation where you are vulnerable. Why would you willingly post in an area where the odds are stacked against you....especially if you have had suicidal thoughts and are afraid a post will set them off.

Im not saying dont post online but I am saying you have to be ready to deal with the good and the bad.

The King of Moo

Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

I agree.

But it's not as simple as that is it. Ultimately, it's the responsibilty of each one of us not to let ourselves get into a situation where you are vulnerable. Why would you willingly post in an area where the odds are stacked against you....especially if you have had suicidal thoughts and are afraid a post will set them off.

Im not saying dont post online but I am saying you have to be ready to deal with the good and the bad.

I agree people should be more careful about the internet and where they post, but I still think it's more important for people to be careful about how they post, and not bully other users. I think much more emphasis should be put on people behaving in a civilised manner online, rather than recommending people avoid sites which might be useful/enjoyable in order to avoid people who don't act in a civilised manner.

orestes

The King of Moo wrote: »

Sometimes it is personal though: there's a big difference between a misconstrued flippant remark and a deliberate, nasty attack against another user. I think the latter is what the OP is talking about, and in such cases it's not enough for the person just to avoid sites where they've been attacked. The onus is on the person attacking not to do so.

Boards bans people for personal abuse and being intentionally nasty to other users. If you can't play nicely with the other kids you're not allowed in the sandbox anymore. Without sounding like a smart-arse, what more do you want the mods and admins to do?

Oracle

Pushtrak wrote: »

AH isn't a place to look for sensitive souls.

Boards.ie isn't a place for sensitive souls ......

ITS_A_BADGER

I would agree that its not acceptable for someone to avoid sites when they are the victims of cyber bullying, But im talking about the OPs Position, In this case, where he has stated he is bipolar and said he has/or had sucidal thoughts and other medical problems and is upset at agressive users asking him to clarify his posts. Now im just saying if something like this upset me so much if i was in the same position as OP, i would probably tend to avoid whatever is making me feel that way

clairefontaine

orestes wrote: »

Boards bans people for personal abuse and being intentionally nasty to other users. If you can't play nicely with the other kids you're not allowed in the sandbox anymore. Without sounding like a smart-arse, what more do you want the mods and admins to do?

Not always.

I would also say that it's no ones place to tell someone they shouldn't post here. Isn't that a mod recommendation? Imagine telling someone to piss off because they are too nice?

Jimoslimos

On a slightly related topic, why is good grammar and literacy not something to take pride in and strive towards, instead of the dirty little secret it appears to be here?

Personally I enjoy reading well-constructed, coherent and intelligently-thought out posts, even those I disagree with. Whilst not in the same league as some, I'd hope the quality of my posts would have improved during the few years I've been here.

The King of Moo

orestes wrote: »

Boards bans people for personal abuse and being intentionally nasty to other users. If you can't play nicely with the other kids you're not allowed in the sandbox anymore. Without sounding like a smart-arse, what more do you want the mods and admins to do?

They do a great job, I can't argue with that. The problem is that they can only act once the damage has been done at least once.

Ideally, they wouldn't have to have too much work to do thanks to people not being d*cks in the first place. Again, the charters are there for people to read before they post, but users need to take more responsibility for what they post.

Of course, some people are just d*cks, but there's a disproportionate amount of d*ckish behaviour online, which suggests that many quite normal people don't consider the people they're communicating with online.

While it's important for people to be savvy online, I also think it's sad that so many people take it for granted that one should expect d*ckishness online. I don't think it's too much to expect people who communicate in a civil manner in the real world to do the same online.

orestes

clairefontaine wrote: »

Not always.

Aside from the thunderdome, when are they not? Don't be a dick is boards rule 101, everything else about the attitude of the site stems from that.

clairefontaine wrote: »

I would also say that it's no ones place to tell someone they shouldn't post here. Isn't that a mod recommendation? Imagine telling someone to piss off because they are too nice?

Nobody has told anybody to p1ss off, they have just suggested that people avoid things that upset them if they are so sensitive. Try the sunshine & lollipops forum.

The King of Moo wrote: »

They do a great job, I can't argue with that. The problem is that they can only act once the damage has been done at least once.

Ideally, they wouldn't have to have too much work to do thanks to people not being d*cks in the first place. Again, the charters are there for people to read before they post, but users need to take more responsibility for what they post.

Of course, some people are just d*cks, but there's a disproportionate amount of d*ckish behaviour online, which suggests that many quite normal people don't consider the people they're communicating with online.

While it's important for people to be savvy online, I also think it's sad that so many people take it for granted that one should expect d*ckishness online. I don't think it's too much to expect people who communicate in a civil manner in the real world to do the same online.

But this thread is about boards, not the internet, and boards does a great job of keeping the d*cks out. The only way they could do a better job is if they pre-approved every single post on the site and didn't let the ones that might hurt someones feelings get posted.

oscar_statue

orestes wrote: »

Boards bans people for personal abuse and being intentionally nasty to other users. If you can't play nicely with the other kids you're not allowed in the sandbox anymore. Without sounding like a smart-arse, what more do you want the mods and admins to do?

boards also bans posters who dare to question liberal sacred cows like travellers etc , ive yet to see anyone banned for laying into the likes of a self declared multiculturalism sceptic

regards

a re - reg who will be banned by tommorrow

mark renton

oscar_statue wrote: »

boards also bans posters who dare to question liberal sacred cows like travellers etc , ive yet to see anyone banned for laying into the likes of a self declared multiculturalism sceptic

regards

a re - reg who will be banned by tommorrow

Banned for what?

token101

The King of Moo wrote: »

Why?

If someone says something abusive to you, even if they don't really know you, it's hard not to get angry or upset, in real life or online.
And people online can know quite a bit about you and vice versa, depending on how often one posts in a forum. This gives any attack even more weight.

If I were chatting to someone in a pub for a little while and they called me a "c*nt," I'd get angry. I don't see why I should react completely differently just because the medium is different. Surely the message is what counts, in real life or online.

Someone talking to you in person is very different, you can't get easily out of that situation. It's far more confrontational and aggressive and could spiral to something physical. That's not going to happen to you on the internet is it? Surely the fact that someone is anonymous, essentially hiding, gives their opinion far less veracity?

The King of Moo wrote: »

Saying one should ignore attacks online is like saying one should just shrug off abusive anonymous phone calls, because one can just hang up the phone.

No it isn't. Someone calls you, you haven't chosen that. But if you knowingly go to an internet forum where you know it's very likely there will be assholes and people looking for cheap laughs and you still get offended, you've sought that out. Stopping openly vile abuse is one thing, asking for sympathy because someone corrected your spelling? No, sorry I won't be having that.

clairefontaine

orestes wrote: »

Aside from the thunderdome, when are they not? Don't be a dick is boards rule 101, everything else about the attitude of the site stems from that.



Nobody has told anybody to p1ss off, they have just suggested that people avoid things that upset them if they are so sensitive. Try the sunshine & lollipops forum.



But this thread is about boards, not the internet, and boards does a great job of keeping the d*cks out.

Dick is a relative term. Not to mention sexist language, and I believe sexism is also against the charter. I don't think I need to comment on that.

Yeah this is about boards. It's not your place to suggest to others to leave because they are "so sensitive."

But I do agree somewhat, that if a community is not to your liking, than it's better for you to leave the community and find one you are more comfortable with. The problem with this though, is that if this happens alot, than boards will be left with a bunch of dicks.

mark renton

Somebody should tell the op to steer well clear of the soccer forum..

Big Bottom

Some people on these forums really make me wonder what kind of people there actually are on here.

The King of Moo

token101 wrote: »

Someone talking to you in person is very different, you can't get easily out of that situation. It's far more confrontational and aggressive and could spiral to something physical. That's not going to happen to you on the internet is it? Surely the fact that someone is anonymous, essentially hiding, gives their opinion far less veracity?

I don't get this at all. It's still a person's opinion, I really don't see how it's different. If they'd never encountered you before and clearly weren't basing their attack on something you'd posted it'd be one thing. But someone online might have a fair idea of what you're like from your previous posts, or might very directly be attacking what you said in a very personal manner.
It might not have the same directness of a real-life encounter, but it can still be very upsetting and very personal. You could even argue that online abuse can in some ways be worse. You might be able to very quickly resolve a real-life contretemps, even with force, but someone can persistently plague you online with low-level antagonism.
To suggest that online abuse doesn't often have the same direct effect as real-life abuse would be reasonable enough, but I think it's unfair to say that any adult needs to re-examine their life for being upset by online abuse.

token101 wrote: »

No it isn't. Someone calls you, you haven't chosen that. But if you knowingly go to an internet forum where you know it's very likely there will be assholes and people looking for cheap laughs and you still get offended, you've sought that out. Stopping openly vile abuse is one thing, asking for sympathy because someone corrected your spelling? No, sorry I won't be having that.

But that's not what the OP did. He went to forums where he expected grown-up interaction. If he was on 4Chan you might say "fair enough, you should have expected abuse," but even on After Hours one shouldn't expect assholes and people looking for cheap laughs.

I don't get this attitude of putting the onus on the victim to avoid being bullied.

orestes

clairefontaine wrote: »

Dick is a relative term. Not to mention sexist language, and I believe sexism is also against the charter. I don't think I need to comment on that.

Would you rather it was "don't be a dick or a cnut" then in the sake of equality? If anything it's sexist towards men by implying that a dick is something undesirable and unwelcome which should be avoided.

clairefontaine wrote: »

Yeah this is about boards. It's not your place to suggest to others to leave because they are "so sensitive."

But I do agree somewhat, that if a community is not to your liking, than it's better for you to leave the community and find one you are more comfortable with. The problem with this though, is that if this happens alot, than boards will be left with a bunch of dicks.

I'm confused, people shouldn't suggest that other might want to find somewhere that is more to their liking if they aren't comfortable somewhere, but you agree that people might want to find somewhere more to their liking if they aren't comfortable somewhere? So you get the moral high-ground just because you didn't suggest it, even though you agree? Buh?

And no, boards wouldn't be left with just dicks, since it bans them all. It would be left with all of the people who are welcome here (people who aren't dicks) and people who want to be here for whatever reason, which seems to be quite a lot.


Have we even seen any examples of the meaness and nastiness of other boards users in other forums yet by the way?

Big Bottom

Sometimes people are far too quick to play the 'bullied' card and thats when the do gooders jump in on the bandwagon and cry 'Bully!'.

clairefontaine

orestes wrote: »

Would you rather it was "don't be a dick or a cnut" then in the sake of equality? If anything it's sexist towards men by implying that a dick is something undesirable and unwelcome which should be avoided.

Yes, it is sexist. But sexism is also banned on the charter. I'm not really sure why they picked that phrase.

Something unwelcome? What the hell does that mean? People aren't mind readers and people are very different.

orestes wrote: »

I'm confused, people shouldn't suggest that other might want to find somewhere that is more to their liking if they aren't comfortable somewhere, but you agree that people might want to find somewhere more to their liking if they aren't comfortable somewhere? So you get the moral high-ground just because you didn't suggest it, even though you agree? Buh?

Because the tone in which people are suggesting it is more along the lines of if you don't like it than piss off, and telling the person there is something wrong with them [ie too sensitive], as an excuse to continue being obnoxious.

Rather than, yeah it can get kind of rough in here, or vulgar or , merciless, whatever, you mightn't like it too much. There are gentler forums around.

orestes wrote: »

And no, boards wouldn't be left with just dicks, since it bans them all. It would be left with all of the people who are welcome here (people who aren't dicks) and people who want to be here for whatever reason, which seems to be quite a lot.

Like I said, dick is a relative term.

orestes wrote: »

Have we even seen any examples of the meaness and nastiness of other boards users in other forums yet by the way?

Well, it is pretty clear that neither of us would have an agreement on what is mean and nasty and it is far from appropriate for me to start a criticism of other threads and comments here on this one, so I will leave it at that. And it is a relative scale.

The King of Moo

orestes wrote: »

But this thread is about boards, not the internet, and boards does a great job of keeping the d*cks out. The only way they could do a better job is if they pre-approved every single post on the site and didn't let the ones that might hurt someones feelings get posted.

That's what I'm saying: Boards can't do that and I don't expect it to, and it's for those reasons that Boards users should take responsibility themselves for what they post, especially as they should know being a d*ck is frowned upon.

Obviously there's not much that Boards can do (and shouldn't be expected to) as it's up to each individual user to remember how to behave.

token101

The King of Moo wrote: »

I don't get this at all. It's still a person's opinion, I really don't see how it's different. If they'd never encountered you before and clearly weren't basing their attack on something you'd posted it'd be one thing. But someone online might have a fair idea of what you're like from your previous posts, or might very directly be attacking what you said in a very personal manner.
It might not have the same directness of a real-life encounter, but it can still be very upsetting and very personal. You could even argue that online abuse can in some ways be worse. You might be able to very quickly resolve a real-life contretemps, even with force, but someone can persistently plague you online with low-level antagonism.
To suggest that online abuse doesn't often have the same direct effect as real-life abuse would be reasonable enough, but I think it's unfair to say that any adult needs to re-examine their life for being upset by online abuse.

I think it's unfair you misquoted me, I said offense, not abuse in my original post. There's an enormous difference. Someone correcting your spelling isn't abusing you and you do need to re-examine your life if you find that particularly upsetting. In that particular scenario, you need to give it back or just get over it really.

The King of Moo wrote: »

But that's not what the OP did. He went to forums where he expected grown-up interaction. If he was on 4Chan you might say "fair enough, you should have expected abuse," but even on After Hours one shouldn't expect assholes and people looking for cheap laughs.

After hours consists of the type of chat you have with your mates after a few pints at a lock in

If it's supposed to be pub chat type thing, surely a level of banter goes with that? Constantly becoming offended at every little silly thing would make it tediously dull. There's lot of grown up interaction here, and lots of very good debate with a lot of good posts which some people will still manage to extract offense from regardless of how tame they are.

The King of Moo wrote: »

I don't get this attitude of putting the onus on the victim to avoid being bullied.

The onus is on to you act like an adult. If you're being genuinely victimised, that's one thing. Complaining that your spelling being corrected is upsetting you isn't being victimised.

orestes

clairefontaine wrote: »

Yes, it is sexist. But sexism is also banned on the charter. I'm not really sure why they picked that phrase.

Something unwelcome? What the hell does that mean? People aren't mind readers and people are very different.

Because the tone in which people are suggesting it is more along the lines of if you don't like it than piss off, and telling the person there is something wrong with them [ie too sensitive], as an excuse to continue being obnoxious.

Rather than, yeah it can get kind of rough in here, or vulgar or , merciless, whatever, you mightn't like it too much. There are gentler forums around.

Like I said, dick is a relative term.

Well, it is pretty clear that neither of us would have an agreement on what is mean and nasty and it is far from appropriate for me to start a criticism of other threads and comments here on this one, so I will leave it at that. And it is a relative scale.

People who are mean and nasty to other people are kicked off the site.

The King of Moo wrote: »

That's what I'm saying: Boards can't do that and I don't expect it to, and it's for those reasons that Boards users should take responsibility themselves for what they post, especially as they should know being a d*ck is frowned upon.

Obviously there's not much that Boards can do (and shouldn't be expected to) as it's up to each individual user to remember how to behave.

But people do behave, people who don't get kicked off the site.


Seriously, am I missing something here?

The King of Moo

token101 wrote: »

I think it's unfair you misquoted me, I said offense, not abuse in my original post. There's an enormous difference.

token101 wrote: »

If you're an adult and offended by anonymous posts you read on the internet you need to evaluate your life really.

You just mentioned anonymous posts in general, you didn't specify that you weren't counting abusive posts.

token101 wrote: »

If it's supposed to be pub chat type thing, surely a level of banter goes with that? Constantly becoming offended at every little silly thing would make it tediously dull. There's lot of grown up interaction here, and lots of very good debate with a lot of good posts which some people will still manage to extract offense from regardless of how tame they are.

Pub chat and banter are fine, but they don't include being an asshole, at least not in the pubs I go to and the people I go with.
"Banter" is a very subjective word, and often traditional Irish-style "slagging" doesn't come across very well in purely textual form.

token101 wrote: »

Someone correcting your spelling isn't abusing you and you do need to re-examine your life if you find that particularly upsetting. In that particular scenario, you need to give it back or just get over it really.

The onus is on to you act like an adult. If you're being genuinely victimised, that's one thing. Complaining that your spelling being corrected is upsetting you isn't being victimised.

But the OP wasn't just complaining about their spelling being corrected. They mentioned people calling them stupid over small matters and worse, which is a very different thing. And someone correcting your spelling (which is a d*ck move anyway and frowned upon on Boards) can be abusive, depending on how it's done.

orestes

Man, I'm having flashbacks to old feedback threads.

This thread needs catpics.

HTML5!

What I find amusing is - I'm certain some (a lot of?) posters' levels of 'assertiveness' when posting a retort ('funny' or otherwise) would be quite different to that of face to face conversation.

You see, they're walkovers in the real world and this is the only place they're not afraid to hold back. It's the anonymity.

I feel sorry for people like this.

The King of Moo

orestes wrote: »

People who are mean and nasty to other people are kicked off the site.



But people do behave, people who don't get kicked off the site.


Seriously, am I missing something here?

To be honest, you are. I know that Boards bans people who misbehave, and I've twice praised the mods for voluntarily doing great work.

What I'm saying is that adults shouldn't be acting like dicks in the first place. Real-life conversations don't need moderators. And while I understand the way that the lack of face-to-face interaction makes people communicate in a more direct and often offensive way online, I think people should take more responsibility for what they post and not act the dick in the first place.

I know they'll get promptly banned for doing so, and that's great, but, in the case of an abusive post for example, that doesn't take away the abuse if the target's read the post.