Older Women.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

It's like Feeky McGee all grown up.

Fox_In_Socks

This thread has the potential to be very special.


Do your friends know?

Praetorian Saighdiuir

I hope you keep a defib handy....or does their bracelet sat "DNR"?

Oooops

KyussBishop

Think the OP deserves some kind of community medal/reward for 'helping the elderly'.

dark crystal

fortuneteller wrote: »

some do but most don't to be honest have an 82 year old at the moment from uk that has booked flights to come and see me , so that should be interesting..have seen her naked on the web cam and she looks great

Why can I not get the the old lady in the bathtub scene with Jack Nicholson in The Shining out of my head...

Howjoe1

I'm picturing that moment in "there's something about Mary" where the chancer gets an accidental view of the old wrinkle with his binoculars:eek:

fortuneteller

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

This thread has the potential to be very special.


Do your friends know?

yes! im quite open about it and have taken some of them out on occasion...they stay with me at my home...some neighbours give me dirty looks but i don't care it;s providing a service...one of my mates says im mad not to set up a buisness and charge...but im happy not too at the moment ..

HondaSami

fortuneteller wrote: »

yes! im quite open about it and have taken some of them out on occasion...they stay with me at my home...some neighbours give me dirty looks but i don't care it;s providing a service...one of my mates says im mad not to set up a buisness and charge...but im happy not too at the moment ..

Helping the elderly?

Cavehill Red

If by 'no skinning up', you mean you are sleeping with multiple oul wans with no condoms, then I think we've just found the epicentre of the outbreak in elderly STI cases.

7 7 12

This thread is on it's last legs

_Kaiser_

I haven't the will to go on..... reading this thread.

GreeBo

Sauve wrote: »

I call 'you do in your shyte' on this thread.....

at 76+ he is probably doing it in their shyte tbh.

dark crystal

7 7 12 wrote: »

This thread is on it's last legs

Kind of apt, given the theme of the thread.

fortuneteller

Cavehill Red wrote: »

If by 'no skinning up', you mean you are sleeping with multiple oul wans with no condoms, then I think we've just found the epicentre of the outbreak in elderly STI cases.

some of them i've being seeing for 3 years and No sign of any probs...yet:)

Bipolar Joe

dark crystal wrote: »

Kind of apt, given the theme of the thread.

I see you get jokes.

Cereal Number

Any chance of a spitroast?

PM me

Smidge

Not wanting to be too personal here OP but do any of them....

*ahem*


...take out their, you know, teeth?

mickgotsick

I notice there hasn't been a "pics or GTFO" yet, I wonder why?

Rastadoyle

older = hairyier

Cavehill Red

fortuneteller wrote: »

some of them i've being seeing for 3 years and No sign of any probs...yet:)

Do you check all the folds for spots or chancres though?
Also, some STI's don't display immediate symptoms. For all you know, you could have caught aids off one of them.

Bipolar Joe

Is it appropriate to say that I am now interested, in a way? Never gave it much thought, but I plan on being old at some point in the future, so may as well get used to the idea of potentially making a sex at an old vagina.

Smidge

Rastadoyle wrote: »

older = hairyier

older=baldier:P

^Smidge asks the question I think of, but dare not ask

Steve O

fortuneteller wrote: »

of course no skinning up!

So, they've probably had more cock than a hen house and you don't skin up?

"Hi I'm fortuneteller, welcome to Jackass".

fortuneteller

Smidge wrote: »

Not wanting to be too personal here OP but do any of them....

*ahem*


...take out their, you know, teeth?

when it comes to oral some are better than others, but all use fixedent id say..:)

galwayrush

Does the belly button between the boobies turn you on?

dark crystal

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I see you get jokes.

I'm gettin' old, things don't come to me as quickly as they used to.

dark crystal

dark crystal wrote: »

I'm gettin' old, things don't come to me as quickly as they used to.

Careful, you could be next for a visit from The Fortuneteller.

BBDBB

For any 74 year olds out there......OP is half your age and add 7years......he is fair game

fortuneteller

Steve O wrote: »

So, they've probably had more cock than a hen house and you don't skin up?

"Hi I'm fortuneteller, welcome to Jackass".

Tbh, most have been married to the same bloke for 40 years and he has died..its easy to tell when you get inside wheither they have high milage...if they are loose i dont visit often because most are nice and tight...i kid yous not

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Man, how many gilf's have you picked up from the "owlwans n' owlfella's" forum?

Cavehill Red

fortuneteller wrote: »

Tbh, most have been married to the same bloke for 40 years and he has died..its easy to tell when you get inside wheither they have high milage...if they are loose i dont visit often because most are nice and tight...i kid yous not

Dear God! Too much information!
Okay, that's it. I'm off to lock up my granny.

Cereal Number

And they said I would have to subscribe to get this kind of chat

PM sent fortuneteller

Smidge

Candie wrote: »

^Smidge asks the question I think of, but dare not ask

Think of it this way, instead of spending money getting waxed and getting rid of "something" they reverse that.


And spend the money on keeping something.......








They buy "Fixodent":o

Bipolar Joe

OP, how sexually liberated are they, generally speaking?

HondaSami

fortuneteller wrote: »

Tbh, most have been married to the same bloke for 40 years and he has died..its easy to tell when you get inside wheither they have high milage...if they are loose i dont visit often because most are nice and tight...i kid yous not

LOL how tight do you expect some auld one of 80 yrs to be?

Have you ever banged a young one? you need to compare here.

Smidge

fortuneteller wrote: »

when it comes to oral some are better than others, but all use fixedent id say..:)

Damn you FT:pac:

Stained Class

7 7 12 wrote: »

This thread is on it's last legs

As are some of the 'girls' OP is boning, allegedly.

HondaSami

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Dear God! Too much information!
Okay, that's it. I'm off to lock up my granny.

Make sure you lock her up good and tight.

Smidge

HondaSami wrote: »

LOL how tight do you expect some auld one of 80 yrs to be?

Have you ever banged a young one? you need to compare here.

:eek:

fortuneteller

Smidge wrote: »

older=baldier:P

yes most over 70s are smooth, and thats even better. Most have never experienced good oral, so i get on down there and they explode all over the place...one lady from dunlaoighre wanted to come down 3 times a week ,but i said no...she is 69..husband dead 6 years

Praetorian Saighdiuir

fortuneteller wrote: »

yes most over 70s are smooth, and thats even better. Most have never experienced good oral, so i get on down there and they explode all over the place...one lady from dunlaoighre wanted to come down 3 times a week ,but i said no...she is 69..husband dead 6 years

/unsubscribes

Gummy Panda

ITS_A_BADGER wrote: »

http://i.qkme.me/3pxxhs.jpg

That pic is more creepy then Teddy's clown plate

HondaSami

Smidge wrote: »

:eek:

If he thinks auld ones are tight can you imagine what he would be like with a young one? He would have to be surgically removed.

Smidge

fortuneteller wrote: »

yes most over 70s are smooth, and thats even better. Most have never experienced good oral, so i get on down there and they explode all over the place...one lady from dunlaoighre wanted to come down 3 times a week ,but i said no...she is 69..husband dead 6 years

I think I need a shower:(

pappyodaniel

There isn't enough viagra in the world....74 FFS :eek:

HondaSami

fortuneteller wrote: »

yes most over 70s are smooth, and thats even better. Most have never experienced good oral, so i get on down there and they explode all over the place...one lady from dunlaoighre wanted to come down 3 times a week ,but i said no...she is 69..husband dead 6 years

I dunno when i laughed so much, you are a brave man.

Smidge

HondaSami wrote: »

If he thinks auld ones are tight can you imagine what he would be like with a young one? He would have to be surgically removed.

For some reason the expression "Looking for a pen in the Albert Hall" sprung to mind when he was talking about the older ladies!

Howjoe1

I bet the OP has managed to get a list of auld one's phone numbers from Liveline.

dark crystal

Candie wrote: »

Careful, you could be next for a visit from The Fortuneteller.

I'll make sure and have Cocoon all ready in the DVD player to get him good and riled up.