Body dysmorphic disorder

TeddyTedson

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

Lone Stone

me tooooooooo !!

*puts on his ear phone's*

Senna

Google diagnoses has a lot to answer for.

Stheno

1. You been drinking Teddy?
2. This is a real PI thread tbh.

Given your recent threads, I don't think you are serious, if you are I'd genuinely have advice on it as my OH used be like that but no longer is.

JonEBGud

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

I am Adonis and I think Dorian Gray is a fake.

ColeTrain

Your self-esteem sounds very low OP. Ever considered plastic surgery?

AlmightyCushion

Make yourself one of these masks and you're sorted.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2lz4g4bzo1qfhkybo1_1280.jpg

Bipolar Joe

My own body used to disgust me because I'm so thin and have very little definition. Seeing muscular men being pretty much the only variety women were interested in only aggravated things. I'd eat as much as possible and work out as much as possible, and I'd get nowhere. No body weight, no muscle mass. My nickname in school was "Noodle," because I'm pale, thin and gangly. Ended up terribly depressed. Counselling helped a lot. It still bums me out, and once in a while someone will say something that makes me want to sit alone in the dark for two weeks, but mostly I find I get by OK wearing baggy clothes and showing as little skin as possible.

One chick, a couple of years ago, actually grimaced and said "That's disgusting" when she saw how thin my wrists are. Felt like walking into traffic with that one.

TeddyTedson

Stheno wrote: »

1. You been drinking Teddy?
2. This is a real PI thread tbh.

Given your recent threads, I don't think you are serious, if you are I'd genuinely have advice on it as my OH used be like that but no longer is.

I'm done with talking about alcohol on boards, but I am genuinely serious about this.
I'm already delighted to read that your OH used to be like that, the key words being "used to".

HTML5!

Yeah. I look sh!t in photos 90% of the time.

I don't care though - I'm not the photo I'm the person.

ejmaztec

AH needs an agony aunt.

Stheno

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I'm done with talking about alcohol on boards, but I am genuinely serious about this.
I'm already delighted to read that your OH used to be like that, the key words being "used to".

I'm not going to invade my OHs privacy by talking about his issues publicly on boards, but I'd be happy to pm.

Are you unhappy cos you think you are ugly, too fat/thin, or because you've been told negative stuff in the past?

And I'm sorry if I sounded bitchy asking if you were drinking.

My OH now loves how he looks, enjoys shopping for clothes that make him look good, and loves having the odd facial/massage etc. Massive change from when I first met him.

Smidge

When I was young there was no such thing as body dysmorphia, oh no......

What we had was "uglyfukceritis" and being Irish and in the 70's we ALL had a touch of it.

TeddyTedson

Stheno wrote: »

I'm not going to invade my OHs privacy by talking about his issues publicly on boards, but I'd be happy to pm.

Are you unhappy cos you think you are ugly, too fat/thin, or because you've been told negative stuff in the past?

And I'm sorry if I sounded bitchy asking if you were drinking.

My OH now loves how he looks, enjoys shopping for clothes that make him look good, and loves having the odd facial/massage etc. Massive change from when I first met him.

Please PM me.
I'm not one to really get offended, you didn't sound bitchy

The Barefoot Pizza Thief

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

One chick, a couple of years ago, actually grimaced and said "That's disgusting" when she saw how thin my wrists are. Felt like walking into traffic with that one.

We live in a society where men are generally seen as bullet proof on such matters. That they couldn't possibly be affected by comments about their appearance as that is something that women worry about. I think its rubbish as I feel both sexes are equally as wounded by such remarks or by how much it is that they feel they fall short of the 'ideal', it's just that men don't voice their insecurities on such matters as much as women do, for whatever reasons.

I remember when I was 12, the mother of my best friend said something quite cutting to me about my appearance and to this day I have never forgotten it.

Forget who said it, but thing the following holds a lot of truth:

Compliments and criticism are ultimately all based on some form of projection.

Oracle

ColeTrain wrote: »

Your self-esteem sounds very low OP. Ever considered plastic surgery?

So thoughtful and empathic ..... :rolleyes:

Ruudi_Mentari

I avoid my own reflection a lot too ted, sometimes I think I might look imperfect or something. It's sillier than a sillhouette and I never think those are dysmorphed

Think I just have a dark complex tbh and don't agree with what I see for some reason. Its because of a lifetime of fail isn't it my achievement? We'll beat this... esteem issue.

ColeTrain

Oracle wrote: »

So thoughtful and empathic ..... :rolleyes:

Where's your advice then? I'm sure the rolleyes smiley is really gonna help the OP out no end.

Stheno

The Barefoot Pizza Thief wrote: »

We live in a society where men are generally seen as bullet proof on such matters. That they couldn't possibly be affected by comments about their appearance as that is something that women worry about. I think its rubbish as I feel both sexes are equally as wounded by such remarks or by how much it is that they feel they fall short of the 'ideal', it's just that men don't voice their insecurities on such matters as much as women do, for whatever reasons.

I remember when I was 12, the mother of my best friend said something quite cutting to me about my appearance and to this day I have never forgotten it.

Forget who said it, but thing the following holds a lot of truth:

Compliments and criticism are ultimately all based on some form of projection.

I think this is very true, far too many men now as well as women are suffering from body issues, in part due to the media, and in part due to their own expectations.

I've been incredibly lucky in my life, I was a bulky teen, but lost a pile of weight when I matured, and have never ever given a moments thought to my weight as an adult as I'm fairly slim. Looks wise I'm average and have ****ty teeth, but don't let it get in my way.

I think poor body image is more than weight/looks though, I genuinely think it's sympomatic of more serious issues.

1ZRed

ColeTrain wrote: »

Your self-esteem sounds very low OP. Ever considered plastic surgery?

A Heidi Montang would be so up your aisle, Ted :P

Ruudi_Mentari

Actually, ted you had no such lack of esteem when you touched that girls breast on the luas did you ever consider how you might have looked then? Is like a hall of mirrors. Were probably admiring yourself...

JonEBGud

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

Don't hide behind a laptop.
That's no remedy, if that's
how you feel.
Hope this isn't a wind up.

HTML5!

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

Actually, ted you had no such lack of esteem when you touched that girls breast on the luas did you ever consider how you might have looked then? Is like a hall of mirrors. Were probably admiring yourself...

Did it look like she was wearing Beats headphones in the reflection in the window?

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Ruudi_Mentari

HTML5! wrote: »

Did it look like she was wearing Beats headphones in the reflection in the window?

Oops, forgot about dre.

ask yorself ted why does an ugly mofo like dr dre stand in front of the mirror every opportunity and tell himself yep.. today is a good day

Guys like chris kiwomya, chris akabusi?? the list is endless. and they're not all named chris, nor all black for that matter

HTML5!

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

Oops, forgot about dre.

ask yorself ted why does an ugly mofo like dr dre stand in front of the mirror every opportunity and tell himself yep.. today is a good day

Guys like chris kiwomya, chris akabusi?? the list is endless. and they're not all named chris, nor all black for that matter

What a random pair of names to make a point with!!

Ruudi_Mentari

P-M-A.

and if I ever taste it IRL I'll tell you. But in the meantime is like looking in them funny mirrors at the fairground

Body dysmorphia is a condition where you're obsessed with changing some of your body, and being convinced you're defective or disgusting to such an extent that you never stop thinking about it. It dominates your thoughts.

Not liking what you see, feeling unhappy about what you look like or wishing you looked better, is so common its almost normal among teenagers. In older people its usually a symptom of low confidence.

The first is a serious mental illness that can lead people into psychiatric treatment or repeated plastic surgeries, even amputating limbs, to feel better about themselves, which never lasts.

The second can be worked on much more easily, and is often the symptom of low self esteem in general.

Work on feeling better about life in general Teddy, and you'll feel better about your looks.

Killer Wench

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I genuinely think I have this disorder.
I can't look at photos or in the mirror because I hate what I see.
I don't think I'm awful looking from feedback but if someone ever gives me a compliment I always think they're taking the piss.
Now I'm aware a lot of people hate seeing themselves in photos and all of that but when I use the work toilets I always make sure I stare at the sink so as that I don't have to see my face.
It's something I thought I'd grow out of but no I haven't.
I know I'm being such a selfish prick for even thinking this seeing as there are burn victims ect out there who just get on with life, but I can't help it.
I know this is a crazy thing to be thinking about yourself and it's not normal so I really should go get some professional help, but I'd be too embarrassed to say it. If I could write a letter or something. Can anyone else relate to this? Tell me I'm not on my own!
I'm sorry for the self loathing nature of my thread here, but I feel like absolute **** when I think of it.

Is there anything that you do like about your face or body?

Smidge

Here's a question.

I know I was somewhat glib in my response earlier to Teddy but on a serious note......

Does everyone(and this includes the Beyonce's and Brad's of this world)not feel like this?
I HATE being photographed, abhor it.
I understand that when it becomes all consuming THEN it becomes a disorder, but doesn't everyone feel somewhat inadequate looks wise?

TeddyTedson

Smidge wrote: »

Here's a question.

I know I was somewhat glib in my response earlier to Teddy but on a serious note......

Does everyone(and this includes the Beyonce's and Brad's of this world)not feel like this?
I HATE being photographed, abhor it.
I understand that when it becomes all consuming THEN it becomes a disorder, but doesn't everyone feel somewhat inadequate looks wise?

I guess you're right.
I think I'm just lacking self esteem.

Ruudi_Mentari

Candie wrote: »

Body dysmorphia is a condition where you're obsessed with changing every aspect of your body, and being convinced you're defective or disgusting to such an extent that you never stop thinking about it. It dominates your thoughts.

Not liking what you see, feeling unhappy about what you look like or wishing you looked better, is so common its almost normal among teenagers. In older people its usually a symptom of low confidence.

The first is a serious mental illness that can lead people into psychiatric treatment or repeated plastic surgeries, even amputating limbs, to feel better about themselves, which never lasts.

The second can be worked on much more easily, and is often the symptom of low self esteem in general.

Work on feeling better about life in general Teddy, and you'll feel better about your looks.

that's a big difference between low esteem affecting ones reflection and low esteem because-of

and I seriously doubt both parties would see eye to eye so am gonna dissociate sorry I can't be your mirror, ted.

Merkin

Lone Stone wrote: »

me tooooooooo !!

*puts on his ear phone's*

Watch Teddy doesn't pull them out pet

Hank Scorpio

Still drinking Teddy?

Rasheed

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I guess you're right.
I think I'm just lacking self esteem.

Teddy, you are a solid ride and I definitely would.

Gummy Panda

Any ladies worried about their body, send pics to panda for accurate rating and comments.

Not you teddy. I don't want any more pics of your pixelated penis

Odysseus

Teddy you are best going to speak to a professional about what ever questions you have.

However think link is from Bodywhy on this page is a audio interview with a personal who has BDD http://www.bodywhys.ie/aboutED/related-disorders/

However, it is always best to speak to a professional.

Best of luck with it

JuliusCaesar

Candie wrote: »

Body dysmorphia is a condition where you're obsessed with changing every aspect of your body,

This is not true.

OCD Ireland have a section on their website about BDD, or dysmorphophobia as it used to be called.

JuliusCaesar

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

This is not true.

OCD Ireland have a section on their website about BDD, or dysmorphophobia as it used to be called.

You're right, I meant to say 'some' and was just amending it to this.

Evilsbane

It's a rule that we're not supposed seek/give diagnoses so I won't comment on whether I think you actually have it or not. However I can relate on the "feeling ugly" part. Everyone can sometimes, I'm sure.

Grayson

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I guess you're right.
I think I'm just lacking self esteem.

This is something i found interesting
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/06/body-image-concerns-men-more-than-women

More men worry about their body shape and appearance – beer bellies, "man boobs" or going bald – than women do about how they look, according to research.................

........Some three in five men (58.6%) said body talk affected them, usually negatively. Some 12% said they would trade a year of life if they could have their ideal body weight and shape, 15.2% would give up two to five years, 5.3% would forego six to 10 years and 5.3% would sacrifice a decade or more.

So you're not alone dude

FullblownRose

Hi, I don't know about an official diagnosis of body dysmorphia but I've always thought that's what I have myself and in your original post you sound much like me. There are obviously extremes of things as someone else mentioned, plastic surgery. Do you feel like you have no sense of how you look?

Thundercats Ho

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I guess you're right.
I think I'm just lacking self esteem.

Here you go buddy

wolfpawnat

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

My own body used to disgust me because I'm so thin and have very little definition. Seeing muscular men being pretty much the only variety women were interested in only aggravated things. I'd eat as much as possible and work out as much as possible, and I'd get nowhere. No body weight, no muscle mass. My nickname in school was "Noodle," because I'm pale, thin and gangly. Ended up terribly depressed. Counselling helped a lot. It still bums me out, and once in a while someone will say something that makes me want to sit alone in the dark for two weeks, but mostly I find I get by OK wearing baggy clothes and showing as little skin as possible.

Don't worry Joe, there are girls that don't care about that crap too. We look like what we look like and some people cannot lose weight to save their lives while others can't gain it. My biggest celeb crush is Matthew Gray Gubler, the man hasn't a pick on him! Seriously scrawny, still hot! Rather him to all the huge Hollywood "fit" men!

Smidge wrote: »

Does everyone(and this includes the Beyonce's and Brad's of this world)not feel like this?
I HATE being photographed, abhor it.
I understand that when it becomes all consuming THEN it becomes a disorder, but doesn't everyone feel somewhat inadequate looks wise?

I hate how I look, seriously. It is so hard to get a photo of me since I always hide behind a camera. I am a size 8 and every photo of me I feel like my face is too greasy, spotty, and for some reason chubby.

I tend not to look at mirrors except to check do I need to brush my hair, apart from that, I wince at my reflection. I don't read gossip and fashion magazines, but I was belittled a lot as a child and teen by my mother for how I looked etc. I'd say that never helped!

Scruffles

Evilsbane wrote: »

It's a rule that we're not supposed seek/give diagnoses so I won't comment on whether I think you actually have it or not. However I can relate on the "feeling ugly" part. Everyone can sometimes, I'm sure.

no,not everyone is the same and am not talking about narcissism.
have personaly never been aware of own looks,being severely autistic have never had any attachment or connection to people to be able to care & compare,humans are all processed the same to self;theyre all the same generic bit of flesh,am not able to see different skin colours either.

have been called ugly throughout life,but find it funny as people assume the insult works on everyone,coudnt give a crap if am 'ugly' or not,its a social concept,am not going to care what the majority define is one way or another.