10 commandments of being Irish

Annasopra

Breaking News last week had an article about the "10 commandments of being Irish"

http://m.brne.ws/discover/the-ten-commandments-of-being-irish-583564.html

I thought some of them were a bit stupid

Heres my 10

1. Moan
2. Begrudge
3. Give out about the brits while watching premier league soccer
4. Moan about the government then vote them back in
5. Emigrate
6. Have a pointless rant about the nationality of someone famous
7. Proudly avoid paying taxes
8. Bring your barries tea on holidays
9. Report your honest neighbours for social welfare fraud
10. Sing Ole ole at every random sporting event

What would your 10 be?

HondaSami

Lyons tea is nicer than Barry's tea, would not bring it on holiday all the same.

Sergeant

Indulge in that curious mix of naval gazing and boasting.

Owryan

Public urination is a national pasttime

Begrudge success, no matter the circumstances

Being two faced is acceptable

Bruthal

mango salsa wrote: »

1. Moan
2. Begrudge
3. Give out about the brits while watching premier league soccer
4. Moan about the government then vote them back in
5. Emigrate
6. Have a pointless rant about the nationality of someone famous
7. Proudly avoid paying taxes
8. Bring your barries tea on holidays
9. Report your honest neighbours for social welfare fraud
10. Sing Ole ole at every random sporting event

Was number 7 meant to be Avoid? Or Evade?

RikkFlair

Gawk at someone walking through your village/town who is not from the area....an "outsider" as Bull McCabe would say.

aSligoDub

I wanted to say you spelt Lyons wrong, but HondaSami got there before me..

10 things is a big ask in after hours btw:)

Banjo String

Think that someone who was hospitalised due to alcohol poisoning was a 'friggin light weight' :pac:

Legs.Eleven

I suppose drink your fattest friend's weight in alcohol would have to feature in there somewhere.

FearDark

Live in Australia

syklops

Owryan wrote: »

Public urination is a national pasttime

Yes only Irish people pee outside. :rolleyes:

I f*ckin hate these lists. Why don't you travel somewhere and realise other nationalities are quite similar too.

Iwannahurl

11. "Bring" everything, rather than taking it.

CrazyRabbit

Do a great job building in other countries, but completely **** it up in Ireland.

Kylo Ren

1. Dont make lists.

Fratton Fred

I dont know about the ten commandments of being Irish, but bung in rants about immigrants taaaking ours jaaaabs and it sums up after hours quite nicely.

Cienciano

I disagree with begrudgery, in ireland we just aren't afraid to call out a wanker just because he's made money.
One thing that annous me is "self haters". Anything negative about ireland, no matter how valid, you'll get something saying "typical irish self hatred".

Curly Judge

Keep your car nice and tidy inside while fecking all and sundry waste out your window to festoon the hedgerows and ditches.
Then retire to the pub to have far more drink than is good for us and belt out a few raucous rebel songs about how beastly the Brits were to us for nearly 800 years.

Freddy Smelly

1. complain about the weather
2. talk about someone that you know that died recently
3. be nice to someone when they are in front of you then bitch about them behind their back
4. complain about the catholic church, then greet the local priest with a friendly hello when you meet him on the street.
5. complain about the price of stuff.
6. tell people your not going to pay more taxes publicly, then quietly pay them.
7. when anyone has good a bit of good luck, begrudge them cos it's not you getting the bit of good luck.
8. drink beer everyday even if it's only dutch gold these days
9. be rude to passengers on buses that you drive if you work for bus eireann/dublin bus
10. complain about foreigners getting everything free when you have to pay for it.

Sauve

Curly Judge wrote: »

Keep your car nice and tidy inside while fecking all and sundry waste out your window to festoon the hedgerows and ditches.
Then retire to the pub to have far more drink than is good for us and belt out a few raucous rebel songs about how beastly the Brits were to us for nearly 800 years.

Whatever backward little village you live in, I'd suggest you leave. It sounds horrible tbh.

kowloon

HondaSami wrote: »

Lyons tea is nicer than Barry's tea, would not bring it on holiday all the same.

DIE REBEL SCUM!!

syklops

Freddy Smelly wrote: »

1. complain about the weather
2. talk about someone that you know that died recently
3. be nice to someone when they are in front of you then bitch about them behind their back
4. complain about the catholic church, then greet the local priest with a friendly hello when you meet him on the street.
5. complain about the price of stuff.
6. tell people your not going to pay more taxes publicly, then quietly pay them.
7. when anyone has good a bit of good luck, begrudge them cos it's not you getting the bit of good luck.
8. drink beer everyday even if it's only dutch gold these days
9. be rude to passengers on buses that you drive if you work for bus eireann/dublin bus
10. complain about foreigners getting everything free when you have to pay for it.

My girlfriends family in Poland do all these things with the exception of driving for Dublin Bus.

Cienciano

mango salsa wrote: »

3. Give out about the brits while watching premier league soccer

Great example of that one on newstalk one day. Henry McKean was out doing a vox pop on the poppy, asking people if they'd wear one.

Henry: Would you wear a poppy on rememberence day?
Idiot: No
Henry: Why not?
Idiot: It's english, I wouldn't have anything to do with anything english or british
Henry: But you're wearing an Aston Villa tracksuit

FloatingVoter

Rant about foreigners getting free cars and taking our jobs while the picked-upon civil servants do nothing in the long hours that they work for half nothing and its all the fault of the government who won't let us drink and drive and piss in the wind as our brave forefathers fought for our freedom to do and all the while people are dying on hospital trollies because of the horsemeat that they ate because we're stuck in the European Union which is a giant conspiracy run by brit-loving aliens from Germany.

ejmaztec

If you're involved in any charity work, you should be allowed free rein to get away with anything.

Pub owner fined after Irish 'nuns' are caught drinking illegally

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21534215

gobnaitolunacy

HondaSami wrote: »

Lyons tea is nicer than Barry's tea, would not bring it on holiday all the same.

At least Barrys is blended and packed here, not like Lyon's; their sneaky tv ads would have you believe that they have an operation here. Ditto 'Charleville' Cheese.

mike65

11 be slightly late for everything

Curly Judge

Sauve wrote: »

Whatever backward little village you live in, I'd suggest you leave. It sounds horrible tbh.

So long as you promise never to show your face around here I think I'll stay put!

Sauve

Curly Judge wrote: »

So long as you promise never to show your face around here I think I'll stay put!

Too late. I'm behind you.

ahnowbrowncow

syklops wrote: »

My girlfriends family in Poland do all these things with the exception of driving for Dublin Bus.

I'm supposed to believe that?



You've a girlfriend??? :pac:

Grayson

mango salsa wrote: »

Heres my 10

1. Moan
2. Begrudge
3. Give out about the brits while watching premier league soccer
4. Moan about the government then vote them back in
5. Emigrate get drunk in australia for a year with a load of other irish people and pretend it makes you more worldly
6. Have a pointless rant about the nationality of someone famous
7. Proudly avoid paying taxes
8. Bring your barries tea on holidays
9. Report your honest neighbours for social welfare fraud
10. Sing Ole ole at every random sporting event

What would your 10 be?

FYP

Unfortunately 4 & 10 are pretty accurate.

9959

Only 2 are required in order to be quintessentially Irish:

1. Big ego.

2. Low self-esteem.

I KNOW what I'm talkin' about......................but do I really?

syklops

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

I'm supposed to believe that?



You've a girlfriend??? :pac:

I do, and she'll be along now in a minute to kick your ass.

jester77

Everything will be grand... unless it involves an increase in price or stricter availability of alcohol.

Aseth

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

I'm supposed to believe that?



You've a girlfriend??? :pac:

As much as I don't agree with all the points .... Yes, he has a gf. ME. You have a problem with that? :P

4zn76tysfajdxp

Bruthal wrote: »

Was number 7 meant to be Avoid? Or Evade?

I don't say evasion I say avoision.

ejmaztec

mike65 wrote: »

11 be slightly late for everything

Except when receiving cash is involved, then get there two weeks early.

Hidalgo

RikkFlair wrote: »

Gawk at someone walking through your village/town who is not from the area....an "outsider" as Bull McCabe would say.

Especially true if a stranger walks in the door of the local pub, que all heads swivel around to see 'whose in it'

the_syco

Curly Judge wrote: »

belt out a few raucous rebel songs about how beastly the Brits were to us for nearly 800 years.

Whilst wearing english football jerseys after watching the english premier league drinking english beer, of course.

HondaSami

Hidalgo wrote: »

Especially true if a stranger walks in the door of the local pub, que all heads swivel around to see 'whose in it'

Happens in every pub in every country, not an Irish thing.

Grayson

the_syco wrote: »

Whilst wearing english football jerseys after watching the english premier league drinking english beer, of course.

English Cider you mean

gobnaitolunacy

Tristian Wailing Quintuplet wrote: »

I don't say evasion I say avoision.

Are you a New Yorker of Jewish ancestry?

Latchy

Tristian Wailing Quintuplet wrote: »

I don't say evasion I say avoision.

I heard Barbra Streisands voice to ...

Curly Judge

Be seen at funerals of people you absolutely loathed when they were alive.
I've done that myself, I'm afraid.

Truncheon Rouge

Pass driving test - then wipe your memory clean of any trace about how to take a roundabout.

Avoid indicating as though its a puzzling task of great effort.

Expect wifi on trains/buses/in pubs/small cafes to actually work after 1000 failed attempts.
You expected something somewhat technically advanced and free from dublin bus/iarnrod eireann to work, what were you thinking .

Avoid standing out in any public situation where intervention is required, they might look at you or even make a comment. Wait painfully long for someone else to intervene (they'll break eventually) - look and comment. this is war. scaarleh for yerman.

Be obsessed with property prices - even if you have no intention to move.

Randomly pick a political party, have no clue about them. Continue voting for them no matter how they fck the country, cause they're your team.

If you're old and live in a large town/city buy a jack russell, have it poo on every street within 2 kms.

homerjay2005

Blame somebody else has got to be in there...

ejmaztec

Refer to successful people as cunts.

CruelCoin

mango salsa wrote: »

What would your 10 be?

Pretty much the same, except i'd add the following:

Will attend every funeral in a 50km radius, then "respect" the dead by getting violently ill at the pub.

Agricola

Be all excited about a foreigner speaking some Irish or praising the country, while at the same time having no interesting in speaking Irish or praising the country's positives yourself!

9959

Agricola wrote: »

Be all excited about a foreigner speaking some Irish or praising the country, while at the same time having no interesting in speaking Irish or praising the country's positives yourself!

I'll take a wild guess and say that the vast majority of Irish people are not "all excited" on hearing someone/anyone speaking 'as Gaelige', apprehensive or fidgety might be more appropriate words to describe their responses.

Though here on the streets of the nation's capital, you're more likely to hear someone speaking fluent 'Esperanto'.

Rented Mule

syklops wrote: »

I f*ckin hate these lists. Why don't you travel somewhere and realise other nationalities are quite similar too.

11. Have no sense of humour when someone calls out the Irish.
12. Laugh it off as 'we're only havin' the craic' when talking about other nationalities.

El Siglo

11. Add more stereotypes to shite lists from Breaking News/Joe.ie etc...