Lost

lewisanson

Hi currently in flux of life coming to my 49th year on earth and most of it has been a great adventure travelled the world, married, divorced 5 years ago, three children, would say enlightened mind and into spiritualsm but still lost, my ex is about to move in with her new partner my 13 year old child recently informed me that I am a failure and wanted to return to his mum I know that he is at an age now when he is able to intellectually understand what is happening in his new found family and being pushed out and unsupported by his mum does not feel good. After all I am a loving Dad. Financially not well off and renting.
Just wondering if any body else has been through a simular experience and how have they dealt with this.
Seeking the spark to come through all this emotional darkness. Any ideas

angelman121

Hi Lewisanson
I come from a school of thought that you/we are supposed to experience "all this emotional darkness" so that we can recognize or own it and then choose to change it, the details and circumstances (dramas) are different for each of us but the result is the same-crappy feelings-. As you know only to well at this point, you don't have much control over outside stuff, that changes whether we like it or not.
Its only when we take control and responsibility for our feelings are we able to change them, if we are not responsible (the victim) we wont own our feelings and so cant/wont change what's not our fault !

I would suggest you look for the positive in all this, it may not seem positive but you can clearly see how dark ( angry, sad, empty etc) you are capable of being, and you cant change it if you don't know what you've got to change, now you know.
You say "I am a loving dad" that's another positive, however It's time for you to be just 'I am loving' for yourself, the dad bit tags along anyway, I am an angry dad, or sad dad, or whatever the emotional darkness is dad does that to, so let dad take a back seat until you do a bit of inner work on yourself, fixing you fix's dad.
I have been through the emotional darkness and out the other side and what I have learned is without all the crap that happened I wouldn't be happy peaceful man that I am today.
Dont know if Im allowed to say this here but I run workshops on this stuff you can check out my website
http://www.paulwilliams.ie
Happy every day
P

lewisanson

Thanks angel man I must add I like the name.. usually difficult to talk about such issues with family and friends as you say we all have our own reality and experiences but good to know that others who have had simular experiences somehow helps...
I was an easy going happy person but when something occurs in your life that you have no real control over we need to learn and re-adjust, re-evaluate your life. Nobody has the right to be happy unless we learn that we are just humans having a spiritual experience and learn from these to become a stronger being.
I will visit your group site...

padma

Hi Lewisanson, I would be more inclined to say we are Spirits having a human experience

lewisanson

Thanks for that correction which is what I meant it was late .....

celica00

I understand that this must be an difficult time.
I dont have any advise for your current situation but the following books helped me out when it was all dark arround me.
I can only highly recommend them

The Secret and The Power by Rhonda Bryne.

Corkgirl210

EVERY thing happens for a reason.. maybe it is just his time to go in order to give you some space.. to find yourself..

divine timing, divine order, destiny?

Pain is the touchstone to happiness.. when the heart breaks the soul rejoices!! Darkness is the beginning of change.. we fear change at the beginning but once we are through it... we welcome it..

His mother, her love.. is her path.. not yours?? let go of what you cannot control - acceptance is key. ;o)

welcome to change - welcome to life.. welcome to new beginnings..

let go, let god. ;o)

cartell_best

lewisanson , You sir, are far from a failure! so much sir. My heart goes out to you....I can't say I understand because I haven't been graced with children. With you sir. You are and never will be a failure! In spite of what life is or what you think it is! We all have an influence on EVERY single person we meet on this journey. What your child see's in you, he will in most ways, allow his future to be designed around what he see's with YOU. Just ensure (please) show love, show him what compassion and empathy is. Even when you're in xtravision and there's someone ahead of ye just delaying everyone, fumbling around for change and the likes. Take a deep breath and do not (please) even acknowledge the delay, just be oblivious.