Would you have cracked!

mariaalice

I was in a shop this morning there was about 5 people there including a woman with a toddler of about 3 in his buggy...he asked for a cream egg with were at his eye line his mother said no...he started to cry.. not scream or have a temper tantrum just a pityful cry of please mama please mama which quietened down to a sob....I just knew all of us in the Que were thinking I'll buy it for him! but of course his mother had said no and you can interfered with her disision...but an elderly man in the Que purchased two of them and gave the child one the motherer graciously accepted it and did not tell yer man to get lost.

So would you have cracked particularity as the child was not bold or screaming I was just too afraid of insulating the mother by interfering.

Where To

I predict this thread will be full of stupid puns.

slavetothegrind

of course i would.
Everyone knows you give a whinging child what they want to shut them up!

beertons

Cracked it off her head, is what he should have done. The biatch.

hoodwinked

honestly i'd never buy something for a child i don't know in that situation, for all you know he could be allergic to them, and you don't know the parents attitude towards sweets and treats and you are making life harder for said parent by undermining them...

seamus

If I was that mother I would have pocketed it and eaten it later with a cup of tea, or maybe given it to the child as a reward.

It's not like the child was starving. I'd be a bit pissed off if a stranger decided they were going to give chocolate to my child.

Where To

Where To wrote: »

I predict this thread will be full of stupid puns.

slavetothegrind wrote: »

of course i would.
Everyone knows you give a whinging child what they want to shut them up!

beertons wrote: »

Cracked it off her head, is what he should have done. The biatch.

hoodwinked wrote: »

honestly i'd never buy something for a child i don't know in that situation, for all you know he could be allergic to them, and you don't know the parents attitude towards sweets and treats and you are making life harder for said parent by undermining them...

seamus wrote: »

If I was that mother I would have pocketed it and eaten it later with a cup of tea, or maybe given it to the child as a reward.

It's not like the child was starving. I'd be a bit pissed off if a stranger decided they were going to give chocolate to my child.

Not going as I eggspected so far. . . .

Dub13

The real question here is Why the fcuk did you think this was worth starting a thread...?

DrumSteve

Yeah,Id be pissed if some yoke bought one for my kid cos your pretty much just egging the child on to do that in future. Just dont crack and give in.

Paz-CCFC

Fair play to her for showing her child that he can't have everything he wants.

Jimoslimos

TBH I'd have been shell-shocked if she gave in to the little yoke's demands

mariaalice

slavetothegrind wrote: »

of course i would.
Everyone knows you give a whining child what they want to shut them up!

But he was not winging it was the pitiful cry that got to me children are the greatest manipulates in the world I think.

ElleEm

Ye, if I was the mother in question, I would've went nuts.
You said it was the morning, and a toddler who is young enough to be in a buggy was handed a super sugary chocolate treat by a stranger after his mother said no... there is so much wrong with that!

Ihatecuddles-old

COmpletely OT but I still laugh when I think about it.

On the Luas with my 2 year old and a woman gets on with shopping. On the top of the bag were bananas.

My son kept asking her for one! I kept telling him I'd get him one when we got off the Luas, everyone around kept laughing...he kept saying he wanted one as a treat, he's been really good etc. The woman gave him one. I was grateful, she was lovely, he thanked her for it and so did I.

Guess you had to be there. I gave him a banana in Tesco one day, and he said he's the luckiest boy in the world. The man beside me just looked at me like I'm a horrible mother.

jester77

Creme egg, eh!

TwoShedsJackson

Paz-CCFC wrote: »

Fair play to her for showing her child that he can't have everything he wants.

The lesson the kid has learned is that old men are nice and give sweets to children. That'll stand to him in later life.

HondaSami

The mother did the right thing in accepting it, it's up to her whether she gives it to the child or not. Personally i would eat it myself.

Where To

DrumSteve wrote: »

Yeah,Id be pissed if some yoke bought one for my kid cos your pretty much just egging the child on to do that in future. Just dont crack and give in.

Jimoslimos wrote: »

TBH I'd have been shell-shocked if she gave in to the little yoke's demands

What kept you lads?:pac:

strobe

Children can't just be given what they want when they want because they cry. I'd have minded my own business and if I was the mother of the child I very much would have (firmly but politely) told your man to get lost.

HondaSami

strobe wrote: »

Children can't just be given what they want when they want because they cry. I'd have minded my own business and if I was the mother of the child I very much would have (firmly but politely) told your man to get lost.

The man was just being kind, it might not be appropriate but no need to make a big deal out of it either, he was doing it for the right reasons.

strobe

HondaSami wrote: »

The man was just being kind, it might not be appropriate but no need to make a big deal out of it either, he was doing it for the right reasons.

Kind but misguided, which is why the word politely is in my post.

HondaSami

strobe wrote: »

Kind but misguided, which is why the word politely is in my post.

It's just as easy to say thank you and accept it, why make the man feel bad, he probably thought he was doing something nice.

slavetothegrind

A bit creepy buying sweets and giving them to strangers kids

Bad enough when you are with your best mates smart ass fiveyearold and he gets asked if his daddy beside him would buy him something and he says "he's not my daddy" pause " i don't know who he is"
I had to let go of his hand and run.........

......to get his nearby daddy of course.....

strobe

HondaSami wrote: »

It's just as easy to say thank you and accept it, why make the man feel bad, he probably thought he was doing something nice.

It's not just as easy, it's much much easier. Even easier again would have been to just buy the egg herself when the child cried. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. He was a grown man, I'm sure he would get over being made 'feel bad' by a mother politely telling him not to give her child a sweet after she had told him he couldn't have it...

wolfpawnat

I would thank the person and tell them my son would get it after his dinner. Inside I would be cursing them to the ends of the earth. As nice as the gesture was, it taught the child to whinge to get its way in front of strangers. I would be livid. If a mother says no, then no is the answer, who the hell do people think they are interfering with the raising of another's child? I tear strips off my son's grandmother for trying to undermine me. I do laugh that the same generation that beat their kids off the four walls are the ones thinking saying no to a sweet in the AM is horrible these days!

VinLieger

Would have bought one bent down to his eye level and eaten it in front of him while staring coldly into his annoying little eyes then laugh manically and walk off

Ihatecuddles-old

VinLieger wrote: »

Would have bought one bent down to his eye level and eaten it in front of him while staring coldly into his annoying little eyes then laugh manically and walk off

I shouldn't have laughed, but I did.

Even better, open it, put it on the ground and stand on it.

brandon_flowers

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I would thank the person and tell them my son would get it after his dinner. Inside I would be cursing them to the ends of the earth. As nice as the gesture was, it taught the child to whinge to get its way in front of strangers. I would be livid. If a mother says no, then no is the answer, who the hell do people think they are interfering with the raising of another's child? I tear strips off my son's grandmother for trying to undermine me. I do laugh that the same generation that beat their kids off the four walls are the ones thinking saying no to a sweet in the AM is horrible these days!

I remember a lot more the times strangers/friends of my parents gave me money or sweets than any time my parents gave me a wallop. They are not undermining you they are actually giving your kids memories which they will cherish in later years.

DrumSteve

Where To wrote: »

What kept you lads?:pac:

Not sure, I took the eggspress train here.

mariaalice

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I would thank the person and tell them my son would get it after his dinner. Inside I would be cursing them to the ends of the earth. As nice as the gesture was, it taught the child to whinge to get its way in front of strangers. I would be livid. If a mother says no, then no is the answer, who the hell do people think they are interfering with the raising of another's child? I tear strips off my son's grandmother for trying to undermine me. I do laugh that the same generation that beat their kids off the four walls are the ones thinking saying no to a sweet in the AM is horrible these days!

Of course you are completely right normally when I see a child having a tt in a supermarket I just think how hard parenting is.

wolfpawnat

brandon_flowers wrote: »

I remember a lot more the times strangers/friends of my parents gave me money or sweets than any time my parents gave me a wallop. They are not undermining you they are actually giving your kids memories which they will cherish in later years.

I remember the day of my communion I got £1 off a French couple and was chuffed, it was put in my credit union account (I was mad about saving, even as a kid) and as I said it is a nice gesture, but still, if a parent says no, it means no. It is their prerogative to raise their child as they choose.

mariaalice wrote: »

Of course you are completely right normally when I see a child having a tt in a supermarket I just think how hard parenting is.

TT's are the worst, you don't want your child being upset, you want to give them everything, but you can't. Not to mention, it is embarrassing when people turn and look at you, and in many cases judge you. My son chooses his daily treat at Tesco's as we shop, but he does not get it until later in the day and usually after his dinner or if he does something good (he is a champ for helping me with chores) I don't want to seem horrible, but never does he get a treat in the AM, and treats are earned, not an assumption. People who undermine a parent are a pet-peeve of mine. As long as they are not cruel to a child, then leave them rear them the way they want to is my attitude, even if I do not agree with their technique.

chakotha

It was nice but bordering on patronising of the fella to do it. He should have minded his own rather thinking he knew better than the kids Mum.

Edit: Unless they looked poverty stricken.

boboldpilot

My four year old is an expert at that kind of thing. His favourite method is to use a very soft, slightly sobbing voice for maximum pathos. 'Daddy we (meaning him and his brother) never get creme eggs. Please daddy please!' if I resist he eventually dissolves in to tears and I end up feeling like the worst Daddy in the world. In fact he's told me as much.

This morning it was a 'kid's magazine.' I've never brought them to McDonalds, bought a toy, a lollipop, sweets or 'anything nice.' Also I never bring them to the cinema or go on holiday where there's an outside swimming pool.

Seriously social services should come and take me away in chains!

In the local shop, they're onto him and just laugh but elsewhere I cringe. There's this cute little blond, blue eyed Oliver Twist type kid begging his uncaring Daddy for a little treat.

He'll go far! The brat!

alph

If I ate chocolate I'd buy one and eat it in front of the child, then leave and let her deal with the repercussions of my actions .

I lie, I would never do this, the guilt would be too much

slavetothegrind

boboldpilot wrote: »

My four year old is an expert at that kind of thing. His favourite method is to use a very soft, slightly sobbing voice for maximum pathos. 'Daddy we (meaning him and his brother) never get creme eggs. Please daddy please!' if I resist he eventually dissolves in to tears and I end up feeling like the worst Daddy in the world. In fact he's told me as much.

This morning it was a 'kid's magazine.' I've never brought them to McDonalds, bought a toy, a lollipop, sweets or 'anything nice.' Also I never bring them to the cinema or go on holiday where there's an outside swimming pool.

Seriously social services should come and take me away in chains!

In the local shop, they're onto him and just laugh but elsewhere I cringe. There's this cute little blond, blue eyed Oliver Twist type kid begging his uncaring Daddy for a little treat.

He'll go far! The brat!

kudos sir, your playing a blinder!

Lawless2k12

Maybe the woman had hatched a plan in her head to get the egg for free... :pac:

LETHAL LADY

Give a child a creme egg and you feed him for a day. Teach a child to steal and you feed him for a lifetime.

MrTsSnickers

strobe wrote: »

It's not just as easy, it's much much easier. Even easier again would have been to just buy the egg herself when the child cried. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. He was a grown man, I'm sure he would get over being made 'feel bad' by a mother politely telling him not to give her child a sweet after she had told him he couldn't have it...

It's times/posts like these I wish this place and an upvote/downvote type system. Why not just take the blasted egg of the kindly gentleman, put it in your pocket and not give it to the child. Lots of people have given my child sweets when I don't want them to have them, just take it off their hands and in to a bag/pocket. It's to the point (this has been happening since my kid was a toddler) where the child'll almost hand over the sweets and have them after dinner or whatever. Not everything's a bloody drama.

Czarcasm

MrTsSnickers wrote: »

It's times/posts like these I wish this place and an upvote/downvote type system. Why not just take the blasted egg of the kindly gentleman, put it in your pocket and not give it to the child. Lots of people have given my child sweets when I don't want them to have them, just take it off their hands and in to a bag/pocket. It's to the point (this has been happening since my kid was a toddler) where the child'll almost hand over the sweets and have them after dinner or whatever. Not everything's a bloody drama.

One could've taught the child a lot of life lessons here in one fell swoop-


1. You don't get everything you want in life just because you want it. You have to earn it.

2. Learn to say "NO!", and make sure a person knows you mean NO!

3. Never accept sweets or gifts from strangers.


Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

SV

Czarcasm wrote: »

Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

Well..that'd be very accurate.

MrTsSnickers

Czarcasm wrote: »

One could've taught the child a lot of life lessons here in one fell swoop-

Czarcasm wrote: »

1. You don't get everything you want in life just because you want it. You have to earn it.

And by taking iit away from the child and giving it later (obviously dependent on behaviour) as a treat, wheres the problem?

Czarcasm wrote: »

2. Learn to say "NO!", and make sure a person knows you mean NO!

They're a child, they'll learn to say no with great vim and gusto by the time early childhood is over. It's up to parents to encourage their children to be competent socially (e.g. saying no in situations that they don't want to proceed) by encouraging self esteem and confidence in their own abilities. Not by being rude to someone.

Czarcasm wrote: »

3. Never accept sweets or gifts from strangers.

So they can't learn from their parent about how to behave in a mannerly way. Or else you're suggesting that a child shouldn't trust their parents judgement because you can't be interacting with strangers on any level, especially while a parent is present, or you'll be kidnapped/abused- exaggerated stranger danger or what

Czarcasm wrote: »

Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

You do know that children usually learn how to behave by following their parent's cues, and not some random kind stranger. Unless you plan on handing the kid over to the stranger I suppose.

It's awful easy to suck the joy out of life, but jeez some of the best memories I have as a kid are getting a few bits and bobs as a kid that you didn't eggpect (sorry, sorry)! even if it's a silly book as hand me down, (I loved the t-shirts that my older English (they clearly had access to cooler stuff in Engerland!) cousins gave me and the old man who gave 10p after mass to go to the shop.

ardinn

jester77 wrote: »

Creme egg, eh!

What a fuc*ed up photo collection - I'm not sure if that snake is lucky or not!!

Madam_X

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

HondaSami

Czarcasm wrote: »

Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

Or the child might remember the kind man who bought him a cream egg and the child might grow up to respect people and to be nice.

vitani

Madam_X wrote: »

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

Can't speak for anybody else, but that's my parenting style. If I've already said no to something, then I don't give in to whinging or tantrums.

I'm also not hostile towards children screaming, but wouldn't think much of the parents who indulge them to get them to stop.

Madam_X

Madam_X wrote: »

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Give the child the egg, you're creating an entitled little brat who expects everything he wants to be handed to him - bad parent!

Don't give the child the egg, the child cries and you studiously ignore it, and the peace of everyone around is disrupted by 'screaming brat who's mother does nothing to shut it up' - bad parent!

3ndahalfof6

Kick them in the face, if this does not work, blast them with pisss.

strobe

MrTsSnickers wrote: »

It's times/posts like these I wish this place and an upvote/downvote type system. Why not just take the blasted egg of the kindly gentleman, put it in your pocket and not give it to the child. Lots of people have given my child sweets when I don't want them to have them, just take it off their hands and in to a bag/pocket. It's to the point (this has been happening since my kid was a toddler) where the child'll almost hand over the sweets and have them after dinner or whatever. Not everything's a bloody drama.

What's the purpose of up/down voting? If you disagree with an opinion on the site you are free to address it like you just have, this cultivates discussion. It's a winning system.

You believe the best approach when you tell your child they can't have something is to allow someone else to give it to them anyway, then remove it from the crying child's hand, them give it to them later anyway.

I believe the best approach would be to say "sorry, I already told him no". And to explain to the child why they can't have it.

Big Bottom

That old man should have minded his own business.

Madam_X

vitani wrote: »

Can't speak for anybody else, but that's my parenting style. If I've already said no to something, then I don't give in to whinging or tantrums.

I'm also not hostile towards children screaming, but wouldn't think much of the parents who indulge them to get them to stop.

Well that's not what I mean, because there isn't a double standard in your approach/view.

Fair play to you - that's what I would view as the ideal, but I wouldn't blame a parent for giving their child a treat in public to get them to quieten down, in order to ward off hostility from onlookers who don't understand that small children sometimes have tantrums no matter how competent their parents are.

mariaalice

mariaalice wrote: »

not scream or have a temper tantrum just a pityful cry of please mama please mama which quietened down to a sob

In other words, he was learning his lesson before the man interfered.

HondaSami wrote: »

The man was just being kind, it might not be appropriate but no need to make a big deal out of it either, he was doing it for the right reasons.

What were the "right reasons"? I can only see two reasons the man would have done it. Either he thought the mother couldn't buy it, or wouldn't buy it. In the case of "couldn't", it doesn't sound from the OP that the woman was too impoverished to buy a creme egg. If it was the case that he thought she "wouldn't", then he understood that the mother had made a decision not to get her child a treat, and thought the woman was wrong, and was trying to correct her mistake. Which is incredibly rude. Not to mention the fact that he had no idea about the context of the mother's decision and was probably doing far more harm than good.