People who are only child's

Apocalypse

Just an observation I made about 3 friends of mine who are only children .
The way that they act is different to those with siblings I find , there seems to be an element of selfishness in each of them , not great at sharing , would not
go out of their way to do something for you etc..

So are only children selfish by nature , or is it just coincidental that my 3 friends are mean ?

PS : No offence to those of you who are only children

robman60

"child's" is not a word.

Where To

I thought you were dead MJ!!

Sorry just realised you meant people that were only children, not people that were still children.

Carry on!!

DavyD_83

Only children definitely have a slightly different approach to things than those with siblings.

Then again, in every category of people some people are just asshóles.
Or maybe something in you attracts mean people?

murrayp4

robman60 wrote: »

"child's" is not a word.

Child's is the genitive case of Child.


Post title still makes no sense.

HondaSami

I know people who come from big families and they hate sharing, then again I have a nephew who is an only child and he would share his last rolo, it all depends on the child.

seenitall

My best friend is an only child.

He is a fairly egotistic individual overall, in that he always keeps an eye on the main chance, never fails to use it, and hasn't got much time for sentimentality;

however I can't fault him as a friend - very loyal, makes time for me, shares well both emotionally and materially speaking.

Hope that helps, OP.

Birneybau

Aren't all children "Only Childs"?, if such a thing existed.

I do use the phrase "only child syndrome" to describe some people when they behave spoilt or ignorant, which is probably an unfair and ironically ignorant thing to say itself. Kids from big families can be just as bad or worse, an only child can be nice too. Completely depends on their parents/guardians and how they are raised.

amacca

I'm an only child and I'm great and **** you all if you dont like me!

ps: dont touch any of my stuff while I'm away.

caitmb

They are known as 'lonely' children in my house....my brother mistakenly called them this as a child and its stuck ever since! The few I know are def me(may)-feiners(dont know how to do fada's!) Nice people but its all about them....

Ruudi_Mentari

Poor llittle lonely only childs think they've missed out on sibling rivalry. Not content with a more expensive teddy bear than most they want a fcuking nemesis under the same roof too...

They've definitely had it easier. And only want to start a family where others may be weary of such, particularly when mammy has doted on them so - personally I'm a middle child, and there's a syndrome for that too

ProudDUB

I've two friends who are only children. One (guy) would give you the shirt off his back & couldn't do enough for you really. He had a very lonely childhood. He talks quite openly about it, and how he envies those with siblings. Often wonder if he treats his friends as those much longed for siblings. He has no cousins either, as one parent was an only child also and the other ones sister was nun. His social skills are some what stunted due to such an isolated childhood, and he freaks out a bit if he is an social setting with other families. He can't take all the banter and the slagging. But he is a wonderful, wonderful friend and I wouldn't change a hair on his head.

Other friend, also has not much of a family to speak of, not just siblings. It's just her and her parents. She was spoiled rotten as a kid and is very, very self absorbed. Everything always has to revolve around her. All the time. If a conversation veers away from her and her latest drama in her life, for even 5 minutes, she'll sit and sulk until she can drop some overly dramatic statement about her self into the conversation, and then its all back to being about her again. I can only take her in small doses.

So all in all, I'd say it all comes down to the person really.

Shiner11

Yeah, I've a cousin who is an only child and when growing up we were very envious of all the things she got that we didn't have.
But we've realised now that at 20 she's a snob, very up herself, fairly odd and has to be the centre of attention with her faricated stories always being that bit better than your own.

I have two very close friends, one is the second oldest out of four (the same as myself) but the other is the youngest of three. The guy who is the youngest also has some of the attributes of an only child, fairly selfish and wouldn't go out of his way to help a friend out.
But the thing is is that he doesn't realise these small things as most youngest children in families tend to be slightly spoiled since their parents have no energy left at this stage in their lives to argue with yet another small child as he was growing up.

space_man

i come from a family of 10 siblings and i would give my right arm to be an only child.

phoenix999

In China they call them 'Little Emperors'.

space_man

phoenix999 wrote: »

In China they call them 'Little Emperors'.

indeed.
but the situation in China is hardly comparable to here is it?:rolleyes:

Miss Lockhart

My experience has been that most seemed pretty normal and nice on the surface but all turned out to be very self centred and expected their own way in important matters once I got to know them on a deeper level.

I'm sure there's plenty of good ones too though.

April O Neill

Am, excuse me OP, but I believe the correct term is 'childers'. Jeez, get it right.



:pac:

Napper Hawkins

Meh, it's all down to your upbringing and who you are as an individual.

CollardGreens

The world as a whole is self centered and egotistical, full of sinning evil jerks.

I don't think you can group people (;)).

I have a family member, she has several childs. One acts like your description but has one half brother and 2 siblings. She spoils that childs more than the other childs.


btw, my computer tells me "childs" is not a word.

Mick ah

space_man wrote: »

i come from a family of 10 siblings and i would give my right arm to be an only child.

Is that because you use your left hand for ****? What are you going to click the mouse with?

vitani

Shiner11 wrote: »

Yeah, I've a cousin who is an only child and when growing up we were very envious of all the things she got that we didn't have.
But we've realised now that at 20 she's a snob, very up herself, fairly odd and has to be the centre of attention with her faricated stories always being that bit better than your own.

I have two very close friends, one is the second oldest out of four (the same as myself) but the other is the youngest of three. The guy who is the youngest also has some of the attributes of an only child, fairly selfish and wouldn't go out of his way to help a friend out.
But the thing is is that he doesn't realise these small things as most youngest children in families tend to be slightly spoiled since their parents have no energy left at this stage in their lives to argue with yet another small child as he was growing up.

I'm a youngest child, and probably am slightly spoilt. I did get more freedom than my siblings, and definitely got away with a lot more than they did.

But there's a flipside. I grew up as the most insignificant member of the family - everybody else was bigger than me, knew more than me and could tell me what to do. So I tend to adopt that role in other areas now.

mashedbanana

I know one little boy (aged 10) who is the most sensitive young fella I've ever known. He is an only child. This is what I have observed:

When the mom & dad are engaging in conversation the chid is encluded, and asked his opinion, this happens all the time. Now don't get me wrong, thank God we are no longer in an Ireland where kids are 'seen & not heard'.

This has made the child old before his years, and well versed on daily adult issues/worldly issues.
This has made him exceptionally opinionated, and arrogant, and disliked with his peers/cousins of same age.
He takes everything personally and hurts easily (but emotionally & physically)
He is doted upon to the point of feeling entitled.
He carries 'news' straight back to his parents, and as a results, adults aren't particularly keen on minding him.

The slightest achievement in school is broadcast nationwide. (where as I would consider these achievements as regular schoolwork)

If and when he does share his toys with other kids his age everyone is expected to give the obligatory pat on the back for 'being such a good little boy to share you things'

He is a product of his rearing, I worry abut him, but unfortunately can't say anything. He's not....like... other kids, I can't put my finger on it.

anncoates

Hard to generalize but the 2 people I know with only children: the kids seem to be a little more precious-acting and/or adult in their ways. Tend to want to colonize their parents attention more and are a little bossy from what I see.

That said, a good friend is an only child and he's one of the soundest, most chilled out people I know.

anncoates

robman60 wrote: »

"child's" is not a word.

murrayp4 wrote: »

Child's is the genitive case of Child.


Post title still makes no sense.

Birneybau wrote: »

Aren't all children "Only Childs"?, if such a thing existed.

CollardGreens wrote: »

btw, my computer tells me "childs" is not a word.

Yes, yes, we get the fucking point.

elefant

space_man wrote: »

i come from a family of 10 siblings and i would give my right arm to be an only child.

That's the kind of genorosity you wouldn't even consider if you were an only child!

Naid23

I actually don't know anyone who is an only child now that I think of it!

As much as my 3 sisters drive me crazy - I wouldnt have it any other way!

anncoates

I would assume only children were comparatively uncommon in previous generations and will probably increase these days given the smaller size of contemporary Irish families.

judgefudge

My dads an only child and he would do anything for anyone. He wasn't exactly pampered growing up though.

byronbay2

phoenix999 wrote: »

In China they call them 'Little Emperors'.

In France they're called "Le Petit Prince" - one child families are the norm for the middle-class there.

I agree with mashedbanana that only children tend to be very advanced for their age and can discuss things in a "mature" way - things (current affairs etc.) that their peers have absolutely no interest in. Also, I find, they tend to gravitate towards adults, rather than people of their own age, in mixed-age company.

In general, they are more polite and well-behaved than ordinary children but are not as mentally or physically "tough" - they take offence easily, tend to sulk and don't "bounce back" as quickly/easily as other children.

topper75

anncoates wrote: »

Yes, yes, we get the fucking point.

The point is we are now supporting homegrown Engrish made here in Ireland and creating Irish jobs.

IvyTheTerrible

byronbay2 wrote: »

In France they're called "Le Petit Prince" - one child families are the norm for the middle-class there.

I agree with mashedbanana that only children tend to be very advanced for their age and can discuss things in a "mature" way - things (current affairs etc.) that their peers have absolutely no interest in. Also, I find, they tend to gravitate towards adults, rather than people of their own age, in mixed-age company.

In general, they are more polite and well-behaved than ordinary children but are not as mentally or physically "tough" - they take offence easily, tend to sulk and don't "bounce back" as quickly/easily as other children.

I'm in France and I find that 2 kids are the norm in general (France has the highest level of fertility in Europe, after Ireland). I have one child and you should see people's faces here when I say I think I only want one! They seem to think it's cruel to only have one child.

anncoates

byronbay2 wrote: »

In general, they are more polite and well-behaved than ordinary children but are not as mentally or physically "tough" - they take offence easily, tend to sulk and don't "bounce back" as quickly/easily as other children.

Yeah I think having siblings helps socialize children (with their peers) quicker as it's constant/immersive.

Also useful to learn at an early age that parental attention ideally has to be divided and prioritized.

Hoop66

anmhi02

My son is an only child and without sounding bias, he is a well liked, mannerly, funny and generous with his time and toys. He does spend most of his day in the company of his 3 cousins. I have spoken to him numerous times about being an only child. He has said he actually enjoys coming home on his own after spending the day with his cousins and that it isn't an issue for him. He certainly isn't spoilt or Molly-coddled as stereotyped by the label "only child". Being a single mother I have made damn sure he can do his jobs, eg polishing his own shoes, tidying up, helping about the house even putting on a wash. :-)

byronbay2

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I'm in France and I find that 2 kids are the norm in general (France has the highest level of fertility in Europe, after Ireland). I have one child and you should see people's faces here when I say I think I only want one! They seem to think it's cruel to only have one child.

You may be right - the info I have is anecdotal, from someone who teaches in an expensive private school in Paris.

IvyTheTerrible

byronbay2 wrote: »

You may be right - the info I have is anecdotal, from someone who teaches in an expensive private school in Paris.

Ah ok. The sort of people who send their kids to expensive private schools in Paris would not be representative of people I know, so that would explain the difference!

anncoates

judgefudge wrote: »

My dads an only child and he would do anything for anyone.

Sound.

I've a garden that needs doing and I'm broke.

tomboylady

I'm an only child, and I like to think I'm not selfish or rude. My parents didn't spoil me in any way growing up. I didn't get everything I wanted, quite the opposite actually. As soon as I was old enough I got various summer jobs to earn my own pocket money.

I think the one main fault I have now is that I'm ridiculously independent. I would never ask someone for help, not would I ever admit to needing assistance. I always want to do things myself. I grew up learning to do things by myself or figuring things out myself and it would take a lot to knock that out of me! My friends usually just joke that I'm thick and stubborn!

Larbre34

I'm an only child, and 38 years old.

I'm egocentric and somewhat narcissistic, and a bit shy by default, however only in my thought processes.

What I mean by that is, my parents went out of their way not to spoil me and to throw me into every social and group situation they could when I was young, so I played all the sports and played music and had all the friends and cousins around at our house. So, if I say so myself, Im very good with people, especially in small groups, Im sociable and sympathetic and would always try to do a good turn for someone. Even if in my head my default is to consider first how any situation effects me before anyone else, thats not how I will behave outwardly when I come to dealing with it.

So, the key to raising anyone, whether only child or big family group, is to provide a positive environment and show good example, theres not much more parents can do.

I know 4 other only children well, who are at various stages of their lives, all of them decent warm and outgoing people. No doubt their are plenty that are objectionable people as well.

To sum up being an only child:

Its not hard to cope with, you know no different

You definitely mature a bit quicker as you are more often around adults, so parents need to go the extra mile to socialise their kids and make sure they have a full childhood.

You tend to be independent, but also a bit selfish

When it comes to perceiving big families, you would envy the family dynamic and the love thats there, however you would be happy to have avoided the bickering and animosity that you often see.

When it comes to making family decisions, especially about your parents aging, it is much simpler, however you dont have the help and support that comes with siblings

I would recommend marrying into a big family, you get the sibling and niece/nephew experience. I dont think two only children would make for a good partnership

All in all, was I happy as a child and am I happy now? Yes. It doesn't matter if you're an only child or one of many siblings, life is about what you're exposed to and what you make of it yourself after that.

dgt

I am an only child. Never asked for much growing up, just wanted to do things myself.

I have absolutely no idea or concept of siblings (silly and all as it sounds I genuinely don't, please don't take the piss)

I wouldn't think twice about sharing most things or helping someone out. I often feel bad if I could have helped someone but didn't

I do like to hoard things though..... Whether that's related to being an only child or not I don't know.

I do like to be left alone at times ie no distractions from other people. I often go for long random drives by myself for example.

It depends on the upbringing I think

starlings

The only time I noticed an only-child perspective was when I shared a student flat with friends. One of them was having a bath and she asked if anyone wanted it after her. You should have seen the only-child's face.

I think a lot of the characteristics mentioned here -independence, seriousness, "selfishness" (bit harsh, that one), can also be found in children of any birth order, depending on upbringing. E.g. my youngest sibling always wanted her own things and guarded them ferociously, because she was the baby of an extended family and was fed up with hand-me-downs that were really shabby by the time she got them.

ProudDUB

Larbre34 wrote: »

When it comes to making family decisions, especially about your parents aging, it is much simpler, however you dont have the help and support that comes with siblings

I don't think that you can under estimate the support that you get by having siblings around to share things with, especially the bad stuff that you can't always rely on friends, or even a partner to get you thru. Things such a as the illness and death of a parent for example. I can't imagine dealing with the death of my mother all by myself.

One of my friends is an only child. When his mother died, he told me that the loneliness of dealing with the grief all by himself was crushing. Then there was the 3 odd years before that, while she slowly died from cancer. He had to deal with that all by himself too. I would have cracked if that was me, I really would. My siblings may drive me nuts at times, but knowing that they were there when my mother died, and that they were going thru the exact same series of emotions as I was, was a tremendous help.

hatrickpatrick

I'm an only child and I used to be overly generous to the point of getting constantly taken advantage of by hangers on until I snapped out of it a year or two ago.
I attribute this to being an only child, interestingly - I never had to defend my turf as a kid so therefore I never really learned to stand up for myself until now, and I'm 23.

Mysteriouschic

I'm an only child I'm definitely not selfish and wasn't spoilt. I know other only children too and none of those are selfish none of those were spoilt either. All of us had different personalities extrovert/introvert .

I am fairly more independent I do prefer working by myself more .
I do think being a only child it's harder to form bonds with others It always takes me a while to form a bond with someone. I wouldn't say I'm that close to my parents either we still talk but I'm just quite private as a person because I'm an only child. I am also quiet and group situations can be hard at times, as I'm not usually surrounded with many people.
I probably wouldn't go out of my way to help someone but I have sometimes but if someone was to ask me for help I'd help no problem.

It just all comes down to how you were raised. Also I've noticed I never know how to act around younger kids I don't pay attention to them as much as my cousins. I don't know if thats because I haven't had any younger siblings.

anncoates

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I'm an only child and I used to be overly generous to the point of getting constantly taken advantage of by hangers on until I snapped out of it a year or two ago.
I attribute this to being an only child, interestingly - I never had to defend my turf as a kid so therefore I never really learned to stand up for myself until now, and I'm 23.

Can I borrow a tenner until next week?

flanders1979

Elvis Presley is a good example. a man with mammy issues

LordSutch

Apocalypse wrote: »

People who are only child's

You're not related to Borat by any chance, are you?

> > > https://twimg0-a.akamaihd.net/profile_images/1079908235/borat_855_18535194_0_0_12672_300.jpg

kowloon

HondaSami wrote: »

I know people who come from big families and they hate sharing, then again I have a nephew who is an only child and he would share his last rolo, it all depends on the child.

You know what that means...:pac:

HondaSami

kowloon wrote: »

You know what that means...:pac:

Do I want to know?