Coming out or not when I'm visiting apartments

deuve82

(still improving my english, sorry for my mistakes!)

So, this is my current situation: I'm looking for a room in a shared apartment. Three weeks ago I found the perfect one: city centre, affordable, renovated and big. I did the first visit only with the landlord and everything was fine, but I asked him to come back again to meet with my future flatmates. I visited them the next morning and we had a really nice chat, almost an hour, about our ways of sharing and all the usual stuff. All was perfect and it looked that I was inside. I was absolutely happy. Being polite, I decided to text them afterwards: "Thanks again for your time, you're so nice! One last thing: as I already said, I prefer to be honest, so I think I should say to you that I'm gay. I hope it won't be a problem. See you soon!". And their answer, about 20min later: "To be honest, it could be a problem".

I'm still shocked. This is the hugest discrimination thing that I've had in the last 4 years and the first and the only one here in Dublin. I still don't know so much about how the things are working here, so I'd like to have your opinions. Should I say that I'm gay when I'm visiting an apartment? Or should I run the risk and go inside an apartment without saying a word about my business?

Thanks, guys!

jaffacakesyum

Jesus, that's fúcking shocking :mad: Needless to say, I'd stay far away from that apartment again. I wouldn't have thought you'd have to say that when you're viewing apartments but it just goes to show you should, in my opinion. The risk you run is if you say nothing and then later realise they are homophobic you have to live there for another 6 months or a year, whatever the lease is, and either have to hide yourself completely or potentially deal with abuse from bein gay.

jaffacakesyum

Also it might be worth telling the landlord? Not in a "running to tell my mammy so she can set them straight" kind of way, but just so he/she's aware of what the roommates in that apartment are like.

oisindoyle

Your sexuality is YOUR business no one elses.
If you go to an apartment and you like it go for it ,move in .Over time you can IF YOU WISH tell people you are gay,but it's no ones business.
I fail to see why you txtd those people to tell them you were gay.Would a "straight" person do the same and say "oh by the way I'm straight"?
I think not.........

Walker77

deuve82 wrote: »

(still improving my english, sorry for my mistakes!)

So, this is my current situation: I'm looking for a room in a shared apartment. Three weeks ago I found the perfect one: city centre, affordable, renovated and big. I did the first visit only with the landlord and everything was fine, but I asked him to come back again to meet with my future flatmates. I visited them the next morning and we had a really nice chat, almost an hour, about our ways of sharing and all the usual stuff. All was perfect and it looked that I was inside. I was absolutely happy. Being polite, I decided to text them afterwards: "Thanks again for your time, you're so nice! One last thing: as I already said, I prefer to be honest, so I think I should say to you that I'm gay. I hope it won't be a problem. See you soon!". And their answer, about 20min later: "To be honest, it could be a problem".

I'm still shocked. This is the hugest discrimination thing that I've had in the last 4 years and the first and the only one here in Dublin. I still don't know so much about how the things are working here, so I'd like to have your opinions. Should I say that I'm gay when I'm visiting an apartment? Or should I run the risk and go inside an apartment without saying a word about my business?

Thanks, guys!

I think you were way too nice to tell them this. I rented in the past and told no one my story. I'd say in my case some people may have worked it out. Come and live with me!!!!!! only kidding good luck with finding a place.

jaffacakesyum

oisindoyle wrote: »

Your sexuality is YOUR business no one elses.
If you go to an apartment and you like it go for it ,move in .Over time you can IF YOU WISH tell people you are gay,but it's no ones business.
I fail to see why you txtd those people to tell them you were gay.Would a "straight" person do the same and say "oh by the way I'm straight"?
I think not.........

Unfortunately, a person shouldn't HAVE to inform others they are gay; it's their own business, no one elses. But if the OP hadn't said anything in the situation above and thought the roommates seemed sound, loved the apartment, moved in and then down the line brought a fella home or a boyfriend, things could get nasty for the OP.

It could be anything from the roommates simply ignoring it, whle secretly not being happy with a homosexual living with them, to personal and physical abuse. It's not something anyone wants to put up with in their own living space.

tunedout

To be honest, and i dont know if ye only want pro homosexual views here, but I can see and understand if someone doesnt want homosexual activities going on under the same roof as them. I wouldnt want it in the house im living in, i wouldnt be comfortable with that situation. I think thats fair. And you made the right choice telling them before you moved in.

The Big Red Button

tunedout wrote: »

To be honest, and i dont know if ye only want pro homosexual views here, but I can see and understand if someone doesnt want homosexual activities going on under the same roof as them. I wouldnt want it in the house im living in, i wouldnt be comfortable with that situation. I think thats fair. And you made the right choice telling them before you moved in.

Errm ... if you're not involved in whatever sexual activities are going on, and if they don't affect you in any way, then why the hell does it matter to you what your housemates do in their own rooms?! Even if it is 'under the same roof', it's none of your concern!

And I'm not 'pro homosexual' (whatever that means), but I am in favour of equality.

Awake&Unafraid

tunedout wrote: »

To be honest, and i dont know if ye only want pro homosexual views here, but I can see and understand if someone doesnt want homosexual activities going on under the same roof as them. I wouldnt want it in the house im living in, i wouldnt be comfortable with that situation. I think thats fair. And you made the right choice telling them before you moved in.

You would be ok with heterosexual activities going on though? I'm assuming you would or else you would have said sexual activities in general. Then how on earth is that in any way fair at all?

oisindoyle

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Unfortunately, a person shouldn't HAVE to inform others they are gay; it's their own business, no one elses. But if the OP hadn't said anything in the situation above and thought the roommates seemed sound, loved the apartment, moved in and then down the line brought a fella home or a boyfriend, things could get nasty for the OP. .

Nasty ? Like what ??? Thnik you are a bit extreme in your thoughts

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

It could be anything from the roommates simply ignoring it, whle secretly not being happy with a homosexual living with them,.

Well that's THEIR problem and ignorance

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

to personal and physical abuse.

Oh for Gods sake ,,!!!!

oisindoyle

tunedout wrote: »

To be honest, and i dont know if ye only want pro homosexual views here, but I can see and understand if someone doesnt want homosexual activities going on under the same roof as them. I wouldnt want it in the house im living in, i wouldnt be comfortable with that situation. I think thats fair. And you made the right choice telling them before you moved in.

Congratulations.
Nice to see homophobia is alive and well

BuffyBot

Oh for Gods sake ,,!!!!

It's rare, but hardly unknown, so I'm not sure why you're shouting the poster down. You simply never know how someone might react, no matter how normal they might seem up until then.

jaffacakesyum

oisindoyle wrote: »

Nasty ? Like what ??? Thnik you are a bit extreme in your thoughts


Well that's THEIR problem and ignorance



Oh for Gods sake ,,!!!!

Yes it is THEIR problem and THEIR ignorance. But it becomes YOUR problem if you're living under the same roof as them. That's fine if you have no problem living with homophobes; I would.

And just lovely that you deny the possibility that anyone in the world gets personal or physical abuse because of their sexuality. If someone is clearly homophobic and doesn't want homosexuals living in the same roof as them, you can be damn sure over the years you live there that you are going to receive some sort of personal psychological abuse. Maybe you're more tough skinned than me, but I wouldn't like to be felt inferior to my own roommates because they're not comfortable with homosexuality. I've had plenty of personal abuse shouted at me, mostly in other countries as I'm not 100% out here and amn't involved in PDA here. I've never been physically assaulted for my sexuality but I have a gay mate who was attacked in city centre because of it. So it does happen.

And point to me exactly where I said this WOULD definitely happen. I gave a range of possibilities from the slightly inconvenient to the extreme.

tunedout

Fluffy Bunny Rabid wrote: »

Errm ... if you're not involved in whatever sexual activities are going on, and if they don't affect you in any way, then why the hell does it matter to you what your housemates do in their own rooms?! Even if it is 'under the same roof', it's none of your concern!

And I'm not 'pro homosexual' (whatever that means), but I am in favour of equality.

Is anybody here not willing to see someone elses point of view? For example, i wouldnt be comfortable sitting in the sitting room if two lads are holding hands or whatever. Also i dont want to hear homosexual noises in my house. I dont think theres anthing wrong with that.

tunedout

Awake&Unafraid wrote: »

You would be ok with heterosexual activities going on though? I'm assuming you would or else you would have said sexual activities in general. Then how on earth is that in any way fair at all?

I would be ok with heterosexual activities yes. I am heyerosexual myself. I also wouldn't have a problem if a house load of gays didn't want a steaight person staying in their house. And i would be understanding if they didnt want normal sex in their house that is fine. Does it only work one way here? I think you should respect other peoples preferences. Their house is their home and they dont want that space invaded by something their not comfortable with.

oisindoyle

tunedout wrote: »

I would be ok with heterosexual activities yes. I am heyerosexual myself. I also wouldn't have a problem if a house load of gays didn't want a steaight person staying in their house. And i would be understanding if they didnt want normal sex in their house that is fine. Does it only work one way here? I think you should respect other peoples preferences. Their house is their home and they dont want that space invaded by something their not comfortable with.

"normal sex" ?? ffs
"I think you should respect other peoples preferences"

Your homophobia is blinding us.

Lingua Franca

tunedout wrote: »

Also i dont want to hear homosexual noises in my house.

Annasopra

tunedout wrote: »

Is anybody here not willing to see someone elses point of view? For example, i wouldnt be comfortable sitting in the sitting room if two lads are holding hands or whatever. Also i dont want to hear homosexual noises in my house. I dont think theres anthing wrong with that.

Whats a homosexual noise?

tunedout

Ok well its clear people here are blind to other peoples preferences here.I fully agree with the house for refusing if thats not what they wanted or they were not comfortable with that sort of thing.

tunedout

mango salsa wrote: »

Whats a homosexual noise?

Two lads groaning while riding each other. Thats a homosexual noise.

Lingua Franca

Ah, you only want to hear lads groaning when they're riding women. Fair enough.

oisindoyle

tunedout wrote: »

Ok well its clear people here are blind to other peoples preferences here.I fully agree with the house for refusing if thats not what they wanted or they were not comfortable with that sort of thing.

But we can all SEE your blatant homophobia and homophobic comments

tunedout

If a house of gay people only want a gay tenant then im very sure everyone would be fine with that. But if a house of straight people dont want a gay person then thats discrimination. The logic is flawed.

Gays are just as just as discrimimative as straight people.

Cavehill Red

In an attempt to bridge the two forms of opinion expressed so far, let me offer 2c.
This is the LGBT board. Obviously the vast majority posting here will be homosexual, and hence of the opinion that it is discriminatory for anyone not to wish to live with someone who is homosexual in their home.
Society at large is not majority homosexual however. In fact, it is approximately 97% heterosexual, at least in Ireland. Much of that society is conservative, or religious, or both. I suspect the OP might get a more representative opinion of Irish society outside the LGBT forum. I'm not suggesting it would be necessarily less tolerant, but I suspect it might be. Plenty of people are happy for homosexual people to exist and to be happy and treated equally, without necessarily wishing to be exposed to homosexuality daily in their home.
Personally, I wouldn't want to live anywhere I wasn't wanted, and I would feel dishonest in deliberately concealing anything this significant from those I lived with.

paulmorro

tunedout wrote: »

Ok well its clear people here are blind to other peoples preferences here.I fully agree with the house for refusing if thats not what they wanted or they were not comfortable with that sort of thing.

Luckily equality legislation doesn't agree with you!

BuffyBot

tunedout wrote: »

If a house of gay people only want a gay tenant then im very sure everyone would be fine with that. But if a house of straight people dont want a gay person then thats discrimination. The logic is flawed.

Gays are just as just as discrimimative as straight people.

Well, to be fair, who'd want to live with...HETEROSEXUAL NOISES!!!

tunedout

oisindoyle wrote: »

But we can all SEE your blatant homophobia and homophobic comments

How am I homophobic? I suppose the people in the house are homophobic too are they? Is not wanting to live with a gay person homophobic? If it is then,yes, I'm a homophobe.

I dont want to live with old pensioners either, or live with a family. Does that make me an oapaphobic? Or a familyphobic.

Ye'r all paranoid that yer being discriminated against, but yer not. People just want to live with whats most comfortable for them.

Cavehill Red

paulmorro wrote: »

Luckily equality legislation doesn't agree with you!

I don't think the Equal Status Acts extend to enforcing flatmates upon people, though I stand to be corrected on that if someone cares to cite the relevant legislation.

tunedout

paulmorro wrote: »

Luckily equality legislation doesn't agree with you!

I would be surprised and disappointed if that is true

tunedout

What I would really love to see is how many of you would honestly agree, and be comfortable with living with a traveller. I know I wouldnt, because I wouldnt be comfortable with that. But i suppose most people here would have no problem with that because they would "never" discriminate anyone based on that ground etc etc yada yada

Too righteous, is what it is here.

oisindoyle

Cavehill Red wrote: »

In an attempt to bridge the two forms of opinion expressed so far, let me offer 2c.
This is the LGBT board. Obviously the vast majority posting here will be homosexual, and hence of the opinion that it is discriminatory for anyone not to wish to live with someone who is homosexual in their home..

Well you don't have to be a "homosexual" to recognise homophobia or homophobic comments.

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Society at large is not majority homosexual however. In fact, it is approximately 97% heterosexual, at least in Ireland. Much of that society is conservative, or religious, or both...

Really ? You think that .Many many opinion polls would disagree.

Cavehill Red wrote: »

I suspect the OP might get a more representative opinion of Irish society outside the LGBT forum. I'm not suggesting it would be necessarily less tolerant, but I suspect it might be....

See above ,,,,,homophobia is homophobia .Saying the OP would get a more "representative opinion" of irish society outside the LGBT is quite insulting ,to LGBT people.

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Plenty of people are happy for homosexual people to exist and to be happy and treated equally, without necessarily wishing to be exposed to homosexuality daily in their home.
.

What a contradiction in terms

Lingua Franca

tunedout wrote: »

I would be surprised and disappointed if that is true

Prepare to be surprised and disappointed:

1. What discrimination is unlawful under Irish equality legislation?
Irish equality legislation prohibits direct and indirect discrimination in the area of employment and in the supply of and access to goods, facilities and services, on any of the following nine grounds - gender, marital status, family status, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, race or membership of the Traveller community.
...
Discrimination outside the workplace is prohibited by the Equal Status Acts 2000 to 2004. If you are trying to access goods or services and you feel you are discriminated against unlawfully, on any of the nine prohibited grounds, you can make a claim under these Acts. They cover many different goods and services, including access to a place, facilities for banking, entertainment, cultural activities or transport, professional or trade services, health services, access to education and accommodation.

I can only imagine how really disappointing is it for you to find out that discrimination is illegal.

How do you feel about disabled folk?

Annasopra

My understanding of the equality legislation is;

A landlord could not refuse to rent a house to someone on the basis of their sexual orientation with exceptions. If a landlord or a member of his/her family lives in the house then they can refuse.

Tenants can refuse to live with a person who is gay. (actually not 100 % sure about this part having researched it further)

oisindoyle

tunedout wrote: »

How am I homophobic? I suppose the people in the house are homophobic too are they? Is not wanting to live with a gay person homophobic? If it is then,yes, I'm a homophobe.

I dont want to live with old pensioners either, or live with a family. Does that make me an oapaphobic? Or a familyphobic.

Ye'r all paranoid that yer being discriminated against, but yer not. People just want to live with whats most comfortable for them.

Homophobic is the word used to describe someone who has homophobia. Homophobia is basically the irrational fear or revulsion due to, or bias against homosexuality as a practice or against individuals who are homosexuals. It can also refer to loathing, antagonism, or condemnation of homosexual persons, sexual mannerisms, or related cultures and is usually used to imply prejudice. The term homophobic literal means someone who is biased against homosexual individuals

Think that sums you up to a tee...

jaffacakesyum

Turnedout, I suppose if I said I wasn't comfortble living with a black person that would be ok too?

I honestly want to know what difference to you it is what two people do in the privacy of their own bedroom. If you are living with a heterosexual man, and he's making "heterosexual noises" in the bedroom with a woman, what difference is this to a homosexual man making noises in the bedroom with another man? That's all assuming anyone's making any noise at all; would be very easy to find a man, straight or gay, to live with that respected roommates opinions enough to try not make noises in the bedroom.

There's no logical reason to feel uncomfortable sharing an apartment with a gay man. Gay men, straight men, black men, white men, Chinese men...they're all the same until you get to know them on an individual basis.

Cavehill Red

oisindoyle wrote: »

Really ? You think that .Many many opinion polls would disagree.

Which opinion polls and what would they be disagreeing with, exactly? I think it's pretty self-evident that a lot of Ireland is conservative socially and politically. And the 3% gay percentage comes from the sole credible national survey conducted, by the HSE in 2007.

oisindoyle wrote: »

See above ,,,,,homophobia is homophobia .Saying the OP would get a more "representative opinion" of irish society outside the LGBT is quite insulting ,to LGBT people.

So quick to offence. It's not insulting at all to anyone. A more representative opinion would be likely provided by a more representative sample of society. That's simple maths.

oisindoyle wrote: »

What a contradiction in terms

Not at all. It may surprise you to learn that plenty of people are happy for all sorts of things to occur, be they lifestyles, sexualities, activities or interests, without necessarily desiring them to happen on their living room couch.

baby and crumble

It always amuses me when someone comes in here, expresses an opinion along the lines of "you're all weird", "I have no problem with gay people BUT", or "homosexuality isn't normal though" and get surprised when we disagree with them. What on earth do they think is going to happen?

"You know, I never thought of it that way before but you're so right! Me getting treated like a human being DOES inconvience you, and we wouldn't want that. So sorry, I'll be normal like you in future, and curb my homosexual noises"

As for the op, I agree it sucks that your sexuality is an issue that you have to consider when trying to find somewhere to live. I have had the issue from the other side, where when myself and a (male) mate were trying to find a housemate and a couple of folks who seemed super interested suddenly went off the idea when we both mentioned our girlfriends visit from time to time. Meh. I'd rather be fully comfortable where I live than move in somewhere where the others in the house were going to have an issue. And likewise I can kind of see where they were coming from aswell. Not saying I agree, at all, but hey. Life's too short I reckon.

oisindoyle

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Which opinion polls and what would they be disagreeing with, exactly? I think it's pretty self-evident that a lot of Ireland is conservative socially and politically. And the 3% gay percentage comes from the sole credible national survey conducted, by the HSE in 2007..

I'm not talking about the "3%" .It is widely known and taken that approx 10% of a population is gay.
Re opinion polls ,,many many over recent times have shown that the majority are in favour of marriage equality ..That's not the mindset of a "conservative " people

Cavehill Red wrote: »

So quick to offence. It's not insulting at all to anyone. A more representative opinion would be likely provided by a more representative sample of society. That's simple maths.
..

It is insulting to LGBT and as previously stated ,one doesn't have to be gay to see homophobia .

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Not at all. It may surprise you to learn that plenty of people are happy for all sorts of things to occur, be they lifestyles, sexualities, activities or interests, without necessarily desiring them to happen on their living room couch.

What exactly is a "lifestyle" and what exactly are you expecting to happen on a living room couch ???

paulmorro

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Not at all. It may surprise you to learn that plenty of people are happy for all sorts of things to occur, be they lifestyles, sexualities, activities or interests, without necessarily desiring them to happen on their living room couch.

God imagine if they started holding hands on the street in front of you!

While its swell that these sort of ideas are slightly moved on from the 80s, the idea that people think they are completely accepting of gays while saying things like "discomfort" is beyond. There's obviosly an element of homophobia there even if you're not beating people up.

Annasopra

I think this thread discussion is perhaps going down the road of not actually answering the OPs questions at all and isn't giving him any advice. Tunedouts issues are overtaking the thread.

I don't feel this is particularly helpful because the OPs request for advice is getting totally lost.
Please keep further contributions on this thread to answering the OPs questions

Should I say that I'm gay when I'm visiting an apartment? Or should I run the risk and go inside an apartment without saying a word about my business?

As always pm me with feedback as per the charter

baby and crumble

I think also that making a big deal out of it contributes to the awkwardness that some people might feel. Maybe during the 'questions and chat' bit you could mentioned your ex (make one up if you need to) or ask of its cool that your boyfriend stays over sometimes. (Again, make one up if you need to). That makes it less of a big deal, and you don't plant the idea in people's heads that its a thing that needs to be discussed. I find the less of a big deal you make it, the less of a big deal other people make it too.

XxMCRxBabyxX

tunedout wrote: »

If a house of gay people only want a gay tenant then im very sure everyone would be fine with that. But if a house of straight people dont want a gay person then thats discrimination. The logic is flawed.

Gays are just as just as discrimimative as straight people.

Both are as discriminatory as each other tbh.

OP I'm not gay so maybe take that in mind with my response. You are under no obligation to tell people about your sexuality. That is your business only and for 90% of people it shouldn't matter to them at all.

Daith

Actually in the same situation as the OP and never really thought about it. I've only lived with friends before. I'm going to see rooms this week and yeah I don't know if I should say it or not.

Yes I get everyone's view that it's my own business and I shouldn't need to tell anyone. However it someone in the house was homophobic (and to be honest that's the only word that fits) and it created tension because of it.

I guess I probably wouldn't tell them but yeah I guess you never stop coming out do you.

deuve82

Hi again guys,

Thanks for all your opinions, I don't care if we've lost the focus a little bit, it's always interesting to see different views of the same thing.

From my point of view, when you're a visiting an apartment both sides may say every possible point of conflict: pets, smoking, parties, one night stands allowed or not... and since we are not living in an advanced society in which not the 100% of people is tolerant with homosexuality, I prefer to come out and be sure that I'm not going to have problems with my mates.

But that's my theory and now I'm facing the reality, and mine is that I'm still in my crap apartment after lose a really good opportunity. The people of that apartment took their decision based in their prejudices, I'm pretty sure that in their lives (tunedout, I think is the same for you, tell me if I'm wrong) they haven't met a gay guy who has shown them that our life is as common as a straight life. So I'm not sure yet, but I think for the next time I'm going to close my mouth and run the risk. Or, if I say something, it'll be directly on their faces, not by a text.


ps.: "Homosexual noises" lol!! XD

tunedout

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Turnedout, I suppose if I said I wasn't comfortble living with a black person that would be ok too?

Would you live with a traveller? And can you say that you would be comfortable with that situation?

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I honestly want to know what difference to you it is what two people do in the privacy of their own bedroom. If you are living with a heterosexual man, and he's making "heterosexual noises" in the bedroom with a woman, what difference is this to a homosexual man making noises in the bedroom with another man?

For me I am not comfortable with the idea of homosexual activity. I'm not saying that homosexual activity is wrong. (for me/to me) is key here. When I think of homosexual activity it is not a pleasant thought, why would I subject myself to further/more than necessary unpleasant thoughts than is necessary? Nobody wins in this scenario. So does this answer your question what difference it makes to me?

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

There's no logical reason to feel uncomfortable sharing an apartment with a gay man.

There most certainly is, see above.

tunedout

oisindoyle wrote: »

Homophobic is the word used to describe someone who has homophobia. Homophobia is basically the irrational fear or revulsion due to, or bias against homosexuality as a practice or against individuals who are homosexuals. It can also refer to loathing, antagonism, or condemnation of homosexual persons, sexual mannerisms, or related cultures and is usually used to imply prejudice. The term homophobic literal means someone who is biased against homosexual individuals

Think that sums you up to a tee...

OK, if having any negative impression of a subject implies 'phobic', then I guess I am a phobic of many things. I don't like how dogs smell, therefore I have a phobia of dogs? (I love dogs by the way)

See, in order not to be homophobic, you have to be willing to live with a homosexual, and not have one single slightly negative comment to make about them, what nonsense.

Be aware of peoples comfort zones, and respect and accept them.

XxMCRxBabyxX

tunedout wrote: »

Would you liv
with a traveller? And can you say that you would be comfortable with that situation?



For me I am not comfortable with the idea of homosexual activity. I'm not saying that homosexual activity is wrong. (for me/to me) is key here. When I think of homosexual activity it is not a pleasant thought, why would I subject myself to further/more than necessary unpleasant thoughts than is necessary? Nobody wins in this scenario. So does this answer your question what difference it makes to me?




There most certainly is, see above.

What makes "homosexual activity" anymore uncomfortable than "heterosexual activity"? Sex is sex.

tunedout

deuve82 wrote: »

Hi again guys,

Thanks for all your opinions, I don't care if we've lost the focus a little bit, it's always interesting to see different views of the same thing.

From my point of view, when you're a visiting an apartment both sides may say every possible point of conflict: pets, smoking, parties, one night stands allowed or not... and since we are not living in an advanced society in which not the 100% of people is tolerant with homosexuality, I prefer to come out and be sure that I'm not going to have problems with my mates.

But that's my theory and now I'm facing the reality, and mine is that I'm still in my crap apartment after lose a really good opportunity. The people of that apartment took their decision based in their prejudices, I'm pretty sure that in their lives (tunedout, I think is the same for you, tell me if I'm wrong) they haven't met a gay guy who has shown them that our life is as common as a straight life. So I'm not sure yet, but I think for the next time I'm going to close my mouth and run the risk. Or, if I say something, it'll be directly on their faces, not by a text.


ps.: "Homosexual noises" lol!! XD

Yes you are are right about "haven't met a gay guy who has shown them that our life is as common as a straight life".

But like I said homosexual thoughts are not pleasant for me so it is not exactly logical for me to go subjecting myself to more of those thoughts by palling or living with homosexual people. Its not beneficial for either of us.

tunedout

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

What makes "homosexual activity" anymore uncomfortable than "heterosexual activity"? Sex is sex.

No sex is not sex. The anal pipe on a man is not intended for that purpose, excrement on the penis etc.

The vagina on a female is intended for the purpose of sex.

That is how it is different for me, one is sick and one is not.

wonderfulname

tunedout wrote: »

Would you live with a traveller?

No more of this thanks

Try and legitimise your grevances without dragging up another minority you view as less than equal, LGBT is open to everyone, even those not in the acronym.

oisindoyle

tunedout wrote: »

OK, if having any negative impression of a subject implies 'phobic', then I guess I am a phobic of many things. I don't like how dogs smell, therefore I have a phobia of dogs? (I love dogs by the way)

See, in order not to be homophobic, you have to be willing to live with a homosexual, and not have one single slightly negative comment to make about them, what nonsense.

Be aware of peoples comfort zones, and respect and accept them.

Well no you don't have to live with a homosexual not to be homophobic,it beggars belief that has to be pointed out to you .

But you did say (amongst other things)

"For example, i wouldnt be comfortable sitting in the sitting room if two lads are holding hands or whatever. Also i dont want to hear homosexual noises in my house."

The above are homophobic comments from a homophobic person i.e YOU

"Homophobia is basically the irrational fear or revulsion due to, or bias against homosexuality as a practice or against individuals who are homosexuals. It can also refer to loathing, antagonism, or condemnation of homosexual persons, sexual mannerisms, or related cultures and is usually used to imply prejudice."