Sexism you have personally experienced or have heard of? *READ POST 1*

Liam McPoyle

No

py2006 wrote: »

You have to realise that it is the principle as well. If a situation is sexist towards one gender it must be sexist towards another regardless of whether offence is caused.

Well using the rental example, there have been instances when I/my housemates have said we only wanted a female house mate, or we only wanted a male house mate.

Neither situation was sexist in any way, shape or form as far as I am concerned.

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

I agree with what you wrote. But a quick question, wouldn't female drivers for females who are drunk be horrendously sexist?

I must admit, a lot of people, including myself, are falling into the trap of calling things misandrist that people call misogynist. The problem is, some people call everything misogynistic either to win an argument, or to try and teach men the error of their ways.

I dont understand the bolded part, can you explain it please.

GalwayGuy2

I dont understand the bolded part, can you explain it please.

I could be wrong, but wasn't there a few complaints about a Taxi company that only hired females and only picked up females earlier on in the thread?

It was actually a very, very random question, that I realized has only a small relevance to your post.

Woops

Henry9

Just tell the taxi company that you don't want a black taxi driver, because you feel they might be more 'rapey'. See how you get on with that.

GalwayGuy2

I personally have no issue getting into at licensed cab either with people or alone I've never had any problems. If you want to accuse people of being sexist for not putting themselves in a position where they feel highly vulnerable that's fine I just don't see the problem. There are women only gyms, men only golf clubs.

Hmmm, the gym and golf clubs are more for the members percieved enjoyment rather than their safety.

And I do agree with you how some people would feel the need to avail of that service, but it is worrying that a whole company can survive on the fact that men are seen as potential predators, and women as potential prey.

It's quite saddening, and actually increases the fear for women and men.

awec

This post has been deleted.

RainyDay

I'm reluctant to link to this ad, to avoid giving them further publicity, but really, do we still have to put up with this crap, and the Diet Coke drooling desperate housewives ads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX5gFrmyseI

py2006

I have to say, in almost all jobs I have been in I have experienced some sort of sexism directed towards me or other men by women. For the most part they were fairly minor instances that most could laugh off. However, it is the double standard which really infuriates some men.

As I have said in an earlier post, I have had comments made to me by a woman in front of other female colleagues that if I or another man made a similar comment they could easily be out of a job and up on a sexual harassment case or at the very least branded negatively within the company and disciplined.

Sleepy

RainyDay wrote: »

I'm reluctant to link to this ad, to avoid giving them further publicity, but really, do we still have to put up with this crap, and the Diet Coke drooling desperate housewives ads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX5gFrmyseI

To be fair, that one cuts both ways as by pitching their product solely at women, they're insinuating that cleaning is woman's work...

Guyanachronism

py2006 wrote: »

I have to say, in almost all jobs I have been in I have experienced some sort of sexism directed towards me or other men by women. For the most part they were fairly minor instances that most could laugh off. However, it is the double standard which really infuriates some men.

As I have said in an earlier post, I have had comments made to me by a woman in front of other female colleagues that if I or another man made a similar comment they could easily be out of a job and up on a sexual harassment case or at the very least branded negatively within the company and disciplined.

Did you ever complain about these comments?

Sleepy

To be fair, it'd take a very brave man to do so.

I'd imagine it's not all that dissimilar to the early days of women gaining equality in the workplace. Granted, I wasn't around at that time but if stuff like Mad Men has even the spirit of office politics right, it would seem to me that it would have taken a stupidly brave woman to publicly put colleagues/bosses in their place over casual sexism like that which py2006 mentions. Best to keep your powder dry for a real fight imo (e.g. when someone gets promoted over you due to their gender etc.)

Woodward

No

At work last night. One of the supervisors who has 'jokingly' admitted before that she doesnt like guys told one of the girls to stop lifting the bin and get a guy to do it. The bin wasnt particularly heavy and it isnt the only thing she refers to as a mans job

py2006

Guyanachronism wrote: »

Did you ever complain about these comments?

1. 'Grow a Pair'
2. 'and now you must have deserved it'
3. 'Man up'
4. 'you wish'
5. 'bet you loved that'
6. 'get over yourself'
7. 'unfortunately there isn't enough work to renew your contract'

From experience (not myself) it is easier to end a temps contract than to launch an investigation against a permanent staff member.

HeadPig

py2006 wrote: »

1. 'Grow a Pair'
2. 'and now you must have deserved it'
3. 'Man up'
4. 'you wish'
5. 'bet you loved that'
6. 'get over yourself'
7. 'unfortunately there isn't enough work to renew your contract'

From experience (not myself) it is easier to end a temps contract than to launch an investigation against a permanent staff member.

Easy to end a temps contract over a contretemps

laoch na mona

No

Woodward wrote: »

At work last night. One of the supervisors who has 'jokingly' admitted before that she doesnt like guys told one of the girls to stop lifting the bin and get a guy to do it. The bin wasnt particularly heavy and it isnt the only thing she refers to as a mans job

nothing as annoying as women propagating the patriarchy imo

iptba

laoch na mona wrote: »

Woodward wrote:

At work last night. One of the supervisors who has 'jokingly' admitted before that she doesnt like guys told one of the girls to stop lifting the bin and get a guy to do it. The bin wasnt particularly heavy and it isnt the only thing she refers to as a mans job

nothing as annoying as women propagating the patriarchy imo

Not convinced that is an example of patriarchy. More privilege for women.

padz

for me its not so much direct sexism but it is the fact of being seen as a financial commodity / prospective partner when speaking to women socially,....

it can be tiresome having to come at it as a man tryin to represent yourself whilst also knowing your being judged, so much so ive learned to turn it around into a positive& represent myself in a sort of bachelor way, and generally i give them the info straight up, i am not in debt, i actually have some small savings, i live alone, i have no children, i do not drive anymore as i live in town, i work & study and a several other things that they are reely lookin to know about you, ...... now would you like to get to know me as a human

iptba

padz wrote: »

for me its not so much direct sexism but it is the fact of being seen as a financial commodity / prospective partner when speaking to women socially,....

it can be tiresome having to come at it as a man tryin to represent yourself whilst also knowing your being judged, so much so ive learned to turn it around into a positive& represent myself in a sort of bachelor way, and generally i give them the info straight up, i am not in debt, i actually have some small savings, i live alone, i have no children, i do not drive anymore as i live in town, i work & study and a several other things that they are reely lookin to know about you, ...... now would you like to get to know me as a human

I see this as a form of objectification: women may be objectified because of appearance, but men can also be objectified not necessarily in the same way e.g. in financial terms.

Woodward

No

iptba wrote: »

I see this as a form of objectification: women may be objectified because of appearance, but men can also be objectified not necessarily in the same way e.g. in financial terms.

Men are usually objectified as tools. Women are appreciated as human beings, men are (generally) only appreciated as human doings. If a guy isnt supporting himself, a family or serving society in someway he is just a dead beat waste of space. A girl in the same situation would generally be pitied and reassured that she is still special

awec

This post has been deleted.

Mister R

Woodward wrote: »

At work last night. One of the supervisors who has 'jokingly' admitted before that she doesnt like guys told one of the girls to stop lifting the bin and get a guy to do it. The bin wasnt particularly heavy and it isnt the only thing she refers to as a mans job

Went to a mixed secondary school and that would happen all the time if girls were carrying tables or chairs or boxes. Male and female teachers would demand one of the boys do it. It pissed off a girl I knew at the time when a male teacher took a box off her because she was female since none of the guys were asked if they needed help. That was in the 2000s not the 70s.

I recently applied for a job where it was made clear to me the company recently only employed women at that point in time. 100 people turned up at an interview day and none of the 30 guys made the second round. Could be coincidental but it had happened at 3 other events with this company that no men made the second round.

Was going through the checkout in Tesco and looked up and there was some female coming purposely towards me smiling like a cheshire cat. Now I'd never seen her before and was a bit surprised. The place was packed too. I just started hurriedly getting things into me plastic bag and nodding at your one and trying to scarper. Last I saw of her was her heading out the door looking very upset. I stopped to say thank you to the checkout girl before I left but got ignored. I think the prevailing opinion of the checkout girls was of shock and I must be some kind of weirdo. Maybe I am as I don't date much. Why should I be obliged to go off with a complete stranger? Saying she came on strong was an understatement. I don't like the "always up for it" presumption. But maybe I'm a loon!

Which reminds me....was having a quiet drink with my old man in a pub one evening. Three females came in and sat nearby. My Dad got up to go to the loo and to avoid "weirdo sitting on his own in pub" syndrome I kept my eyes fixed on the telly. Next thing I know the ladies are leaving and muttering angrily. They were upset that I hadn't initiated anything. What a sense of entitlement! I'm supposed to fawn over them but if not they turn nasty.

Was in the local library here in Limerick. It's an antiquated **** heap with a reference section that has large conference tables. Was desperately looking for a book by following those ridiculous numbers they put on them. Went around the other side of the shelf and suddenly felt something was wrong. When I looked behind me one of three girls sitting at the table was just about to pinch my bottom. The other two thought it was hilarious of course. Yes I know it's a tired comment but if that were three lads trying to grope female students then all hell would have broken loose....

Office situations: Equality/feminism seems to take a back seat when there's heavy lifting involved. When the photocopier runs out of paper and another box of sheets is required then there's much "back-of-hand-to-forehead-damsel-in-distress" nonsense.

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D'Agger

No

Deleted User wrote: »

Was going through the checkout in Tesco and looked up and there was some female coming purposely towards me smiling like a cheshire cat. Now I'd never seen her before and was a bit surprised. The place was packed too. I just started hurriedly getting things into me plastic bag and nodding at your one and trying to scarper. Last I saw of her was her heading out the door looking very upset. I stopped to say thank you to the checkout girl before I left but got ignored. I think the prevailing opinion of the checkout girls was of shock and I must be some kind of weirdo. Maybe I am as I don't date much. Why should I be obliged to go off with a complete stranger? Saying she came on strong was an understatement. I don't like the "always up for it" presumption. But maybe I'm a loon!

This was a bit hard to read/interpret but maybe it's down to the cold I have! Did the woman just come up to you and stand there expecting you to chat her up or something? Seems fairly strange to me!

Femme_Fatale

Deleted User wrote: »

Was going through the checkout in Tesco and looked up and there was some female

A woman?

coming purposely towards me smiling like a cheshire cat. Now I'd never seen her before and was a bit surprised. The place was packed too. I just started hurriedly getting things into me plastic bag and nodding at your one and trying to scarper. Last I saw of her was her heading out the door looking very upset. I stopped to say thank you to the checkout girl before I left but got ignored. I think the prevailing opinion of the checkout girls was of shock and I must be some kind of weirdo. Maybe I am as I don't date much. Why should I be obliged to go off with a complete stranger? Saying she came on strong was an understatement. I don't like the "always up for it" presumption. But maybe I'm a loon!

Which reminds me....was having a quiet drink with my old man in a pub one evening. Three females came in and sat nearby.

Women?
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Mister R

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

You're dead right that it's unreasonable for someone to get snarky with someone for not being interested in them though. Dead right.

If a man did the same thing loads of women would label him a sexist pig for assuming a woman would want to hook up with him.

Femme_Fatale

Mister R wrote: »

If a man did the same thing loads of women would label him a sexist pig for assuming a woman would want to hook up with him.

I don't know about loads, but those women who would... would be wrong.

Mister R

Another one that regularly happened when I lived in NZ was sexist nightclub admittance policies. You know the whole free drinks/shots for the gals. Most NZ clubs didn't have cover so it didn't matter but I remember trying to get a free shot on my birthday at one of these "free shots for the girls" places and was obviously told no but pointed out the ridiculousness of such a policy, which I knew would happen. In fairness the promo girl at the door agreed with me that it was stupid policy.

In a some NZ clubs the dancefloor is on two levels and one club in particular didn't allow any men on the platform area, it was so weird. Another one down the street just considered it the higher part of the dancefloor but one club in particular would have bouncers tell every guy to get down.

Females also got free strip club entry while the guys paid $20 The one night I was at one my 2 female friends were the only female patrons though so I get it

Femme_Fatale

Those "Freebies for the girls" policies are pathetic - they're rewarding women for sexiness, certainly not out of a "feminist" stance. Vote with your feet - just don't go to those dumps. I certainly don't.

What's with referring to women as "females" by the way?

py2006

That reminds me, I remember getting into a conversation with a woman down my local about the whole...'free drink for women', 'women in free after 11pm' etc

when I pointed out that if it was the other way around it would not be allowed and the feminists among us would probably start a war I was told that I have 'issues' and that she 'feels sorry for me' and that I 'hate women'.

Seriously, you cant win.

py2006

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

What's with referring to women as "females" by the way?

Ehhhhh, seriously take your agenda to tLL

Mister R

Well girl friends sounds like a relationship and saying "my 2 women friends" sounds odd to me.