Sexism you have personally experienced or have heard of? *READ POST 1*

GarIT

Feathers wrote: »

This would cover house shares alright & I 100% agree that they should be able to specify a gender. What it doesn't explain is whole houses/apartments for rent - someone saying "women only" when renting a whole premise is completely sexist & arguably quite illegal. Good luck getting that changed though.

Discrimination is completely legal when renting your house as long as you are a person and not a business. If you say you don't want to rent to people for any discriminatory reason it's fine according to law, it's not just gender.

I'm not saying I agree with it, I'm just mentioning that it's allowed.

Feathers

GarIT wrote: »

Discrimination is completely legal when renting your house as long as you are a person and not a business. If you say you don't want to rent to people for any discriminatory reason it's fine according to law, it's not just gender.

I'm not saying I agree with it, I'm just mentioning that it's allowed.

Citizens Information wrote:

Refusal to grant a tenancy

Equality legislation applies to lettings and accommodation. You cannot discriminate against potential tenants on grounds of gender, civil status, family status, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, race or membership of the Travelling Community.

— citizensinformation.ie

clairefontaine

Feathers wrote: »

— citizensinformation.ie

Well,,that applies to landlords, not tenants choosing fellow tenants, and lets face it discrimination is rampant from all sides on that front.

Feathers

clairefontaine wrote: »

Well,,that applies to landlords, not tenants choosing fellow tenants

Which is what I was talking about to begin with — someone renting a whole property & advertising "women only" because they prefer female tenants, not female roommates.

clairefontaine

Feathers wrote: »

Which is what I was talking about to begin with — someone renting a whole property & advertising "women only" because they prefer female tenants, not female roommates.

Yeah maybe, until they have kids, then they don't like them.

Landlords discriminate regularly, no one challenges it.

Greenmachine

1.Carrying The Groceries
2.Taking Out the Trash
3Open the Car Door
4.Doing all the Driving
5.Giving up your seat on the bus when a more able bodied person could do so. Youth and male together does not also mean you should be the one to give up the seat.
6.Waiting longer to get served at a bar.
Less guys let into clubs than girls, it's why I stick to pubs and drinking at home.
7.Men's clothes in my experience are more expensive than females.
He is the one who has to suck it up and admit he is wrong seen it so many times with friends where they are encouraged to apoligise to end an argument, never seen the same suggestion for the females.

Feathers

clairefontaine wrote: »

Yeah maybe, until they have kids, then they don't like them.

Landlords discriminate regularly, no one challenges it.

You're right, parents getting discriminated against does negate me getting discriminated against. I don't know why I thought to mention it in a thread about sexism against men.

laoch na mona

No

Greenmachine wrote: »

1.Carrying The Groceries
2.Taking Out the Trash
3Open the Car Door
4.Doing all the Driving
5.Giving up your seat on the bus when a more able bodied person could do so. Youth and male together does not also mean you should be the one to give up the seat.
6.Waiting longer to get served at a bar.
Less guys let into clubs than girls, it's why I stick to pubs and drinking at home.
7.Men's clothes in my experience are more expensive than females.
He is the one who has to suck it up and admit he is wrong seen it so many times with friends where they are encouraged to apoligise to end an argument, never seen the same suggestion for the females.

I've never heard number four before
the getting served at a bar is a pain though also I've seen bar women do all they can to keep men drinking
I think on balance men win in the nightclub sense as even though we are less likely to get in we also less likely to suffer casual sexual assault In a nightclub

GalwayGuy2

I think on balance men win in the nightclub sense as even though we are less likely to get in we also less likely to suffer casual sexual assault In a nightclub

Got a link for that?

If you are talking about sexual assault as in groping, then there is differing arguments on classing groping as 'sexual assualt'. On the one hand, it would make it more henious. On the other hand, you are telling men/women who have been groped that they have been sexually assaulted/raped. The connotations of the word rape could have more of an adverse impact on the individual than the groping itself.

I'm undecided at the moment on how to class it. I called it groping above to differentiate from other forms of sexual assault.

D'Agger

No

Lads there's already been a warning for going OT - read post one again, this isn't a discussion thread for which gender has it tougher or genralizations about such, it's for instances/experiences/encouters with sexism that you or somebody you know has experienced

Get back on topic please or we'll have to lock the thread on account of it not serving its initial purpose

laoch na mona

No

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

Got a link for that?

If you are talking about sexual assault as in groping, then there is differing arguments on classing groping as 'sexual assualt'. On the one hand, it would make it more henious. On the other hand, you are telling men/women who have been groped that they have been sexually assaulted/raped. The connotations of the word rape could have more of an adverse impact on the individual than the groping itself.

I'm undecided at the moment on how to class it. I called it groping above to differentiate from other forms of sexual assault.

groping is defiantly sexual assault I don't know why you are mentioning rape but unwelcome groping is indefensible

ahnowbrowncow

No

laoch na mona wrote: »

groping is defiantly sexual assault I don't know why you are mentioning rape but unwelcome groping is indefensible

Because by classing groping as sexual assault you are putting it in on a par with far more serious sexual assaults like rape and this leads to some highly misleading statistics.

Henry9

D'Agger wrote: »

Lads there's already been a warning for going OT - read post one again, this isn't a discussion thread for which gender has it tougher or genralizations about such, it's for instances/experiences/encouters with sexism that you or somebody you know has experienced

Get back on topic please or we'll have to lock the thread on account of it not serving its initial purpose

Who says the thread had to follow exactly the path dictated by the OP? What's the problem with letting the conversation develop of its own accord?

Sauve

Henry9 wrote: »

Who says the thread had to follow exactly the path dictated by the OP? What's the problem with letting the conversation develop of its own accord?

Mod

Henry9, do not question a mod on thread.
If you disagree with an instruction, pm the mod(s) to discuss it.

Henry9

Sauve wrote: »

Mod

Henry9, do not question a mod on thread.
If you disagree with an instruction, pm the mod(s) to discuss it.

Why on earth not? It's a perfectly reasonable discussion, why not let it go where it goes?
Where does thiis urge come from to treat reasonable adult posters like children and tell them what they can and cannot discuss?

And don't hide behind some blanket 'rule' that the conversation must follow the thread title or some other rubbish.

Give a proper, adult , articulate reason why it's a bad thing the conversation is developing the way it has.

Waking-Dreams

Henry9 wrote: »

Why on earth not? It's a perfectly reasonable discussion, why not let it go where it goes?
Where does thiis urge come from to treat reasonable adult posters like children and tell them what they can and cannot discuss?

And don't hide behind some blanket 'rule' that the conversation must follow the thread title or some other rubbish.

Give a proper, adult , articulate reason why it's a bad thing the conversation is developing the way it has.

Henry, it’s a Boards-wide rule that discussion of moderation should not take place on thread. It’s nothing to do with treating posters like children but rather keeping the thread clean of discussion that veers off into different directions (even if it is interesting). There are sub forums and thread titles for a reason – to keep everything organised and easy to locate.

Sure, conversations can develop within threads but to be honest, if people were let go off in different directions, (and, again, as interesting as it could be) it would make it VERY difficult to keep up with what discussions were taking place and in what thread.

ConFurioso

It's easier to control, and hence avoid liable situations.

I suggest starting a new thread on the topic or PMing a mod and requesting the thread is divided.

Pawwed Rig

Mod note - Waking-Dreams, I appreciate you mean well but please leave moderating to the moderators.
Having said that you are correct in what you say.

We have no problem with these topics being discussed and there are threads in TGC that discuss exactly this. If you cannot find a relevant thread then please feel free to start one. We are not trying to restrict debate here but when someone clicks on a thread about sexism they have experienced and see pages of off topic posts it turns people off the forum.
PM myself or any of the other mods if there are issues. Thank you.
Post on...........

GarIT

Girl goes into men's changing rooms with her boyfriend and there's no problem. Guy goes into female changing rooms with his girlfriend and he is automatically assumed to be a perve.

newport2

Comment on an Irish Times article resonates with something we've all personally experienced. This bugs the hell out of me. If the situation was reversed, we would have the "gender education gap" to go along with the pay gap of course.


"When it comes to education, boys don't exist in the media. Take a look at this.
It’s online media coverage of leaving cert results. These are from this years leaving cert results day.

The IT’s video – all girls shown and vox popped – not a single boy appears anywhere in clip.
http://www.irishtimes.com/news/video?vid=1.1494042

Journal.ie’s coverage 18 pictures. 16 of girls only, 2 of boys and even then they are mixed photo’s of boys and girls. 1 of the only 2 photo’s of boys is of black boys.
http://www.thejournal.ie/leaving-cert-in-pictures-1036800-Aug2013/;;

The Independent. 19 photo’s – 17 of girls and 2 of boys. One of the only 2 photo’s of boys is of black boys.
http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/education/meet-the-top-leaving-cert-student-with-9a1s-29498812.html;;

RTE 6:1 news coverage. Same thing. All girls. Only interview with boys is of, you guessed it, a black lad. http://www.rte.ie/news/2013/0814/468007-leaving-cert-education/;; No other boys appear.

So it seems national media is unaware that boys too sit exams. But, even when it does notice it uses the opportunity to tick the “ethnic or minority box” at that juncture. And you’ll also find that in the handful of photo’s of boys that do appear, even then at times, the girls are central in the photo’s and the boys are on either side of her/them.

TV3′s news coverage of the day in question was marginally more balanced. But not balanced enough by a long shot. It was of a similar vein to the above coverage.

So it’s seems the marginalisation of boys and men is now so embedded it goes unnoticed and all major media outlets partake. I’ve been following the exclusion of boys on leaving cert results day for nearly 20 years {and a lot of other areas too}. I can say with certainty the above scenario in the links I’ve given have been repeated year on year for nearly 15 years now."



Why do boys do worse? Not for the reasons we have been fed by the media for many years it appears

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/education/the-gender-gap-why-do-boys-do-worse-than-girls-at-school-1.1591232

Standman

No

All of those links bar the last one seem to be broken.

newport2

Standman wrote: »

All of those links bar the last one seem to be broken.

Thanks, fixed them now

OldRio

Greenmachine wrote: »

1.Carrying The Groceries
2.Taking Out the Trash
3Open the Car Door
4.Doing all the Driving
5.Giving up your seat on the bus when a more able bodied person could do so. Youth and male together does not also mean you should be the one to give up the seat.
6.Waiting longer to get served at a bar.
Less guys let into clubs than girls, it's why I stick to pubs and drinking at home.
7.Men's clothes in my experience are more expensive than females.
He is the one who has to suck it up and admit he is wrong seen it so many times with friends where they are encouraged to apoligise to end an argument, never seen the same suggestion for the females.

Surely manners maketh the man in some of those points.

Arawn

maybe

OldRio wrote: »

Surely manners maketh the man in some of those points.

Such as what? Women fought hard for equality, not just when it suits them

OldRio

Arawn wrote: »

Such as what? Women fought hard for equality, not just when it suits them

Nothing wrong with good manners. If holding a door open for a lady is wrong I will continue to be wrong. If standing up whilst a lady sits at a table is wrong I will remain wrong. (BTW the benefits of such actions far outweigh any perceived costs;))

py2006

I hold the door open for whomever is following behind me be it man, woman or dog. Thats manners!. However, I do not stand to the side for anyone!

Standman

No

OldRio wrote: »

Nothing wrong with good manners. If holding a door open for a lady is wrong I will continue to be wrong. If standing up whilst a lady sits at a table is wrong I will remain wrong. (BTW the benefits of such actions far outweigh any perceived costs;))

You must be of a very different generation than me if you stand up "whilst a lady sits at a table". I don't think I've ever seen anyone I know doing that. Not even my parents or aunts and uncles.

In any case, do you not believe men should be the recipients of good manners too? I would think it was quite rude if you were to hold a door open for a woman but not a man.

iptba

OldRio wrote: »

Nothing wrong with good manners. If holding a door open for a lady is wrong I will continue to be wrong. If standing up whilst a lady sits at a table is wrong I will remain wrong. (BTW the benefits of such actions far outweigh any perceived costs;))

Your honest comment highlights how chivalrous acts aren't necessarily driven by altruism.

OldRio

py2006 wrote: »

I hold the door open for whomever is following behind me be it man, woman or dog. Thats manners!. However, I do not stand to the side for anyone!

Agree.

OldRio

Standman wrote: »

You must be of a very different generation than me if you stand up "whilst a lady sits at a table". I don't think I've ever seen anyone I know doing that. Not even my parents or aunts and uncles.

In any case, do you not believe men should be the recipients of good manners too? I would think it was quite rude if you were to hold a door open for a woman but not a man.

Age does not come into it. You will see both my sons (ages 20 and 30) do the same. God willing their sons will do the same.

upandcumming

OldRio wrote: »

Nothing wrong with good manners. If holding a door open for a lady is wrong I will continue to be wrong. If standing up whilst a lady sits at a table is wrong I will remain wrong. (BTW the benefits of such actions far outweigh any perceived costs;))

Oh yea... the amount of random blowjobs I've gotten over the years for holding doors open.

Holding the door open for a woman because they are a woman isn't manners; nor is standing up whilst a lady sits at a table.

py2006

upandcumming wrote: »

Holding the door open for a woman because they are a woman isn't manners; nor is standing up whilst a lady sits at a table.

Its actually sexism that affects women positively.

Although, the standing up when a lady sits at a table hasn't been seen since Gone with the Wind era!

laoch na mona

No

Arawn wrote: »

Such as what? Women fought hard for equality, not just when it suits them

not to go off topic and i will probably get an infraction for this but feck it.
due to persistent cultural attitudes women are not yet equal

Pawwed Rig

laoch na mona wrote: »

due to persistent cultural attitudes women are not yet equal

I do not think that anyone will deny that some women have faced discrimination in their lifetimes. What alot of the posters here fail to realise is that the existance of this thread is not to say that discrimination against some women does not exist but to highlight areas where discrimination against men does exist.
The point is that there are lots of places that disrimination against women is discussed but that is not the topic of this thread.

OldRio

upandcumming wrote: »

Oh yea... the amount of random blowjobs I've gotten over the years for holding doors open.

Holding the door open for a woman because they are a woman isn't manners; nor is standing up whilst a lady sits at a table.

You obviously have no idea about manners.

OldRio

py2006 wrote: »

Its actually sexism that affects women positively.

Although, the standing up when a lady sits at a table hasn't been seen since Gone with the Wind era!

Well I beg to differ.

Arawn

maybe

OldRio wrote: »

Well I beg to differ.

But you're from that era?

Pawwed Rig

Arawn wrote: »

But you're from that era?

Gone With the Wind was released 75 years ago!!!

OldRio

Arawn wrote: »

But you're from that era?

I doff my cap to you young Sir.
That made me chuckle.

py2006

Do you also place your coat on a puddle so a lady won't have to step in it?

Frank Black

There surely has to be a point to good manners.
Holding a door open for someone (either male of female) makes sense - it's a nice thing to do and makes life a bit easier for that person.
Standing up while a lady sits at a table is just weird - can't see what point is served by this kind of behaviour and if I was a woman I reckon it would make me uncomfortable.

OldRio

Frank Black wrote: »

There surely has to be a point to good manners.
Holding a door open for someone (either male of female) makes sense - it's a nice thing to do and makes life a bit easier for that person.
Standing up while a lady sits at a table is just weird - can't see what point is served by this kind of behaviour and if I was a woman I reckon it would make me uncomfortable.

But Frank we would wine and dine. I would make you feel like a princess.:eek:
Believe me.

Frank Black

OldRio wrote: »

But Frank we would wine and dine. I would make you feel like a princess.:eek:
Believe me.

This isn't making me feel any more comfortable.

clairefontaine

Frank Black wrote: »

There surely has to be a point to good manners.
Holding a door open for someone (either male of female) makes sense - it's a nice thing to do and makes life a bit easier for that person.
Standing up while a lady sits at a table is just weird - can't see what point is served by this kind of behaviour and if I was a woman I reckon it would make me uncomfortable.

It probably harks back to a day when doors were huge, heavy and cumbersome.

Car doors made in the 1960s for example are incredibly heavy. I have a hard time closing them, takes me three tries.

Daveysil15

clairefontaine wrote: »

It probably harks back to a day when doors were huge, heavy and cumbersome.

Car doors made in the 1960s for example are incredibly heavy. I have a hard time closing them, takes me three tries.

You've obviously never been in a quality BMW.

cantdecide

A woman advising another woman '... if any man thought it was ok, I'd beat the **** out of him..." to much applause.

Can you imagine if any man ever spoke about any woman in those terms?

'and I would beat the **** out of my wife if she cheated'

'and I would beat the **** out of any woman that would harm an animal'

'and I would beat the **** out of my boss if she did that to me'

/rant

Pawwed Rig

Mod note: cantdecide, please do not quote other forums here (especially the more sensitive ones). If you see a post you have objection to please report through the normal channels.

cantdecide

Apologies, I assumed I was okay because I didn't link or name the source. I'll edit my post now. Let me know if the edit isn't acceptable.

saltyjack silverblade

I was working with a bunch of women in a department in december and was actually moved because of their behaviour. Posted this in Trivial things that annoy you:

There were 5 women in the break room saying that the guy who just broke up with F was a loser etc etc and he is typical of all men- can't stand a woman in charge or with any sort of success. He was totally out of order and all men are the same, they want to be in control of anything. I said nothing through any of this and continued eating my scone (got it in Keogh's this morning). I then got asked by the woman who was dumped, "Salty, why are ALL men threatened by a successful woman? It's like none of ye can handle it. Bloody pathetic". I said "I am not threatened in the slightest nor is any other man I know threatened". F then said "Well J obviously was. What did I see in him?! He was such a loser". I knew the guy from school and said "I always thought him sound enough". Atmosphere went weird then. She said "He was threatened by me. Men can't handle women in control" - all women nodding in agreement. I said "Perhaps if you were a little less controlling and stopped giving out to him every time he went to see his family you would still be together". VERY awkward silence in the room.

In context, I have listened to her bitch and moan for weeks about this guy and the amount of time he spends with his family. Sister and his brother in law have 2 toddlers and a baby just born. He went over to help look after the kids for a few days so they weren't swamped with 3 kids. F bitched and moaned and insisted he not go over anymore without her for a flying visit. she has been nothing but cruel about him.

The group of women in the office are unbelievably sexist. If I don't do what they say I start listening to "have you not got the balls for it". I know it doesn't sound bad but it is pretty horrible working with them.

HR woman was on my side and I was moved to a different department.



Videos like this show how some people can use the gender to the advantage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jRKq9d8Uh4

py2006

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

The group of women in the office are unbelievably sexist. If I don't do what they say I start listening to "have you not got the balls for it". I know it doesn't sound bad but it is pretty horrible working with them.

I've said it on here before and I will say it again, some women can be (and often are) extremely sexist. All the things they give out about men saying/doing they are often equally as guilty. I've experience this in EVERY work place so far.