Surrogate mum fled to save life of disabled foetus who's parents wanted it aborted

Rabidlamb

Well, if you wanted to write a moral dilemma for the 21st century I'd say this one ticks all the boxes.

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/americas/surrogate-mum-fled-across-us-to-save-life-of-disabled-baby-29111919.html

A surrogate mother fled across the US to save the child's life when the couple whose baby she was carrying demanded she have an abortion after discovering the girl would be born severely disabled.

Crystal Kelley (30) learned five months into her pregnancy that the child she was carrying on behalf of another couple may be born with disabilities including a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in her brain and heart defects.

The intended parents said that they no longer wanted the child and told Ms Kelley that she should have an abortion, saying it was "more humane", and offered her $10,000 (e7,600) to terminate the pregnancy.

Ms Kelley, however, did not believe in abortion and refused. The couple said that they would instead take the child and put the boy or girl into foster care.

In February 2012, when she was 21 weeks pregnant, an ultrasound scan showed the child had a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in the brain, and a heart abnormality.

Doctors said that while the girl would survive, there was only a 25pc chance she would have a "normal life" and would require several heart surgeries.

Ms Kelley then received a letter from a doctor on behalf of the intended parents that read: "Given the ultrasound findings, (the parents) feel that the interventions required to manage (the baby's medical problems) are overwhelming for an infant, and that it is a more humane option to consider pregnancy termination."

This will be an emotive issue for many people so there's no right or wrong side in my mind.
I've always seen the surrogate mother as the biological mother whether it's her eggs or not so I'd side with her decision here.
This is strange for me as I'm normally pro-choice on these matters.

It's a pity now that the child looks like just becoming a burden on the state without any true parents.

kylith

It's a tough one alright. It sounds like the child would be very seriously disabled, and I'd query its chances of surviving outside the womb with cysts in the brain. I feel for everyone involved.

eviltwin

I can understand the wishes of the parents but no woman can be forced to have an abortion against her will so why she felt the need to run away is beyond me. I'm not sure how the law works but I would imagine the birth mother has no obligations to the child so won't be forced to raise it or anything if the parents walk away so surely next step would be adoption?

mackg

Ms Kelley, however, did not believe in abortion and refused. The couple said that they would instead take the child and put the boy or girl into foster care.

In reality she fled to save it from foster care. No one was forcing her to have an abortion.

witchgirl26

Rabidlamb wrote: »

It's a pity now that the child looks like just becoming a burden on the state without any true parents.

I was reading about this yesterday. The baby has been born & is more disabled than first thought but an agreement was reached & the baby has been adopted by a couple who are aware of the disabilities so it wouldn't be a burden on the state at all.

I know what you mean about a dilemma though - it's not an easy decision. The thing that bothers me is that the parents had 3 other children & IVF hadn't worked & they wanted a fourth. At that point would you not think "ok we'd like a fourth but it's not happening for us" and focus on your 3 other children?

kylith

But if the biological mother feels she can't care for a severely handicapped child, and if the surrogate, who presumably now won't be getting any money from the biological parents, can't look after the child, who is going to want to adopt such a severely handicapped baby, knowing that there's a 75% chance they'll never have a normal life? Surgery to fix just a cleft palate is very expensive, let alone cysts in the brain and heart defects.

kylith

witchgirl26 wrote: »

I was reading about this yesterday. The baby has been born & is more disabled than first thought but an agreement was reached & the baby has been adopted by a couple who are aware of the disabilities so it wouldn't be a burden on the state at all.

I'm glad to hear that.

witchgirl26 wrote: »

I know what you mean about a dilemma though - it's not an easy decision. The thing that bothers me is that the parents had 3 other children & IVF hadn't worked & they wanted a fourth. At that point would you not think "ok we'd like a fourth but it's not happening for us" and focus on your 3 other children?

That does sound a bit strange. Perhaps it was a case where they have 3 boys and wanted a girl. But, yeah, if you've had three kids you'd think you could learn to be happy with what you have.

eyescreamcone

The surrogate mother should look after the child in this case.

clairefontaine

Buyer's remorse.

seamus

mackg wrote: »

In reality she fled to save it from foster care. No one was forcing her to have an abortion.

Indeed, more awesome journalism from the Indo.

It looks like the girl was unhappy with the parents deciding to put the child up for adoption and decided that she wanted control over where the child goes so she moved to a state which gave her that right.

A totally different issue than the one in the thread/article title.

The law in this case should acknowledge the position of the surrogate mother and if the genetic parents decide to put the child up for adoption, the surrogate must be given "first dibs" and allowed adopt the child ahead of anyone else.

eviltwin

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The surrogate mother should look after the child in this case.

Why?

Surrogate mothers don't always have the means to raise a child, probably one of the reasons they become surrogates.

eyescreamcone

eviltwin wrote: »

Why?

Surrogate mothers don't always have the means to raise a child, probably one of the reasons they become surrogates.

It's a bit rich to say - "I won't have the abortion, but I'll be damned if I'm going to mind this disabled kid for the rest of it's life".

That's my opinion!

Lollipops23

The biological parents offered her money ($10k) to abort ASAP, as time was against them. She countered asking for $15k, they refused.

She lost all credibility as soon as she looked for more money. She'd also signed a contract agreeing to abort if they scans showed sever foetal problems.

My sympathy is mainly with the baby girl, and certainly not with the surrogate.

mackg

Lollipops23 wrote: »

The biological parents offered her money ($10k) to abort ASAP, as time was against them. She countered asking for $15k, they refused.

She lost all credibility as soon as she looked for more money. She'd also signed a contract agreeing to abort if they scans showed sever foetal problems.

My sympathy is mainly with the baby girl, and certainly not with the surrogate.

Link?

Lollipops23

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/surrogate-mom-offered-10k-abort-baby-disabilties-article-1.1279997

seamus

mackg wrote: »

Link?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/9910263/US-surrogate-mother-Crystal-Kelley-flees-after-babys-parents-order-her-to-abort-foetus.html

They offered her $10,000 to have the procedure but Ms Kelley refused, demanding $15,000 instead in what she says was a "weak moment".

The parents refused, and reminded her of her contractual obligation to abort the foetus if it displayed signs of abnormality.

If she refused, she would be sued for the fee she had already received, plus all the medical expenses and legal fees.

With the 24-week legal limit for abortion approaching, Ms Kelley drove to Michigan, a state which considers the surrogate mother the legal guardian.

She decided that she could not raise the child however, and began to find a suitable adoptive couple who wanted a disabled child.

This woman doesn't sound mentally stable enough to have been acting as a surrogate for complete strangers.

That article also has more detail on the abnormalities;

The baby was suspected to have a cleft palate, a brain cyst and serious heart defects. Doctors were unable to locate the child's spleen or stomach, and gave the baby only a 25 percent chance of living a normal life.

The Barefoot Pizza Thief

Kudos to the adoptive couple. Restores my faith in humanity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVEweQr2KRA