Papal Conclave - Place Your Bets!

Dades

So, the Cardinals have gathered for breakfast rolls and will soon start the voting for the next pope.

Should be interesting over the next few days to see what happens. Here's your chance to show you're in cahoots with the Holy Spirit and know in your soul who next in line for the big job.

Cast your vote!

Beruthiel

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)

Come on lazy Dades, give us the top 10 favourites!

I'm taking the outside bet of Peter There Are no Gays in Ghana Turkson.

Benny_Cake

Cardinal Odilo Scherer (Brazil)

Angelo Scola to take it back for the Italians.

Dades

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)

Beruthiel wrote: »

Come on lazy Dades, give us the top 10 favourites!

It's like I was still getting dressed and my guests had already arrrived!
(Awkward the thread appearing while the poll still being made...)

Should be enough options there... public poll beware!

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

I'm backing Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone for 2 reasons.
I) He's Italian
II) Run To will implode if Bertone wins as he will be unable to come in here and say 'told ya so....'

seamus

I kind of want one of the Italians to take it and call himself Pope Peter VIII

It means the CTers will have an absolute meltdown about Malachy's prophecy.

Angelo Scola appears to be a suitably mysogynist backwards bigot. He should be well able to pick up where Benny left off on the work of destroying the RCC.

Seifer

This is a weird thread for an atheist to start...

Pay it the attention it deserves.

Dades

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)

Beruthiel wrote: »

I'm taking the outside bet of Peter There Are no Gays in Ghana Turkson.

I'm also thinking him for an outside bet.

Hard to bet against the Italians playing at home, though.

Benny_Cake

Cardinal Odilo Scherer (Brazil)

Bannasidhe wrote: »

I'm backing Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone for 2 reasons.
I) He's Italian
II) Run To will implode if Bertone wins as he will be unable to come in here and say 'told ya so....'

His final post in Prison alluded to a blog which is probably what he should have had all along. Tarcisio is an anagram of Iscariot, but we just wouldn't listen!

Pope Atari Jaguar sounds good, there hasn't been a 64-bit pope before.

TheBunk1

Reminded me of this..

Fr. Andy Riley,
Fr. Desmond Coyle,
Fr. George Byrne,
Fr. David Nicholson,
Fr. Declan Lynch,
Fr. Ken Sweeney,
Fr. Neil Hannon,
Fr. Keith Cullen,
Fr. Ciaran Donnelly,
Fr. Mick McEvoy,
Fr. Jack White,
Fr. Henry Bigbigging,
Fr. Hank Tree,
Fr. Hiroshima Twinkie
Fr. Stig Bubblecard,
Fr. Johnny Hellzapoppin’ ,
Fr. Luke Duke,
Fr. Billy Ferry,
Fr. Chewy Louie,
Fr. John Hoop,
Fr. Hairycake Linehan,
Fr. Rebulah Conundrum,
Fr. Peewee Stairmaster,
Fr. Jemima Racktool,
Fr. Jerry Twig,
Fr. Spodo Komodo,
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.
Fr. Todd Unctious

kksaints

http://www.paddypower.com/bet/current-affairs/pope-betting?ev_oc_grp_ids=1178744

If you want to try actual betting on it. I'll stick to Cheltenham thank you very much. 17 markets available on it.

robindch

Well, Religion News Service has been running an online knock-out competition -- called, strangely, "Sweet Sistine" -- and Ouellet of Canada and Onaiyekan of Nigeria are through to the finals!

PopePalpatine

Dana (Norn Iron)

Gods-dammit, all of those missed usernames. :rolleyes:

Lapin

It would have to take a book on the next Pope to distract me from the opening day of the Cheltenham Festival.


Dawkins is an interesting 666/1.:)

No sign of Dana on the list.
She wouldn't have a hope of becoming Papa anyway.
She's far to conservative for the Church of Rome.

darjeeling

Scola stumbles out of the blocks:

The Guardian wrote:

Papal conclave: anti-mafia police raid offices in diocese of frontrunner
Cardinals urged to overcome divisions at special mass shortly after detectives mount dawn raids in diocese of Angelo Scola (link)

Turkson campaigns too openly for the job:

The Guardian wrote:

Why Cardinal Turkson of Ghana won't be the next pope
As Turkson slips out of the running, the Vatican's task is to choose a pope who does not believe his own propaganda (link)

Other top tips for Pope pickers from the Graun's Pontifficator: Tagle of the Philippines, Dolan of New York

I don't know who's going to win, but I'd like an accumulator on Baselios Isaac Cleemis Thottunkal for best name, best beard and best hat:

ShooterSF

I'll have to go for Il Trap. He's old enough, very conservative (at least in team selections) and Italian. Also added benefit of him no longer coaching the Irish team

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

ShooterSF wrote: »

I'll have to go for Il Trap. He's old enough, very conservative (at least in team selections) and Italian. Also added benefit of him no longer coaching the Irish team

Pope Declan Kidney has a certain ring to it now that I think about it...

Penn

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

Wait... Paypal Conclave?

I don't think anyone on that list could successfully run Paypal tbh...

robindch

FWIW, my money's on Scola or Dolan if they choose hardline, or Ravasi if they don't.

A quick search on a domain registry shows that the "www.popeXXXX.com" domains are already taken for these guys, but as of half an hour ago, some of the .net's, .org's, .info's etc weren't -- surprised to see that the the catholic church left something as obvious as that slip

Brian Shanahan

What, no love for the Special One?

Seriously, it's Mourinho all the way for me.

Penn

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

BATMAN!

Sarky

Cardinal Atari Jaguar (Yore Ma)

Dana has sacrificed every shred of humanity and decency she ever had in the name of becoming a hardline religious nutbag. I'll bet she had a langer grafted on for good measure, such is her hatred of women and their rights. Gotta be Dana. She'd be perfect.

intellectual dosser

robindch wrote: »

Well, Religion News Service has been running an online knock-out competition -- called, strangely, "Sweet Sistine" -- and Ouellet of Canada and Onaiyekan of Nigeria are through to the finals!

The Irish are calling foul with both their hopefuls paired in the first round.

Stinks of corruption!

Dades

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)

robindch wrote: »

A quick search on a domain registry shows that the "www.popeXXXX.com" domains are already taken for these guys, but as of half an hour ago, some of the .net's, .org's, .info's etc weren't -- surprised to see that the the catholic church left something as obvious as that slip

But doesn't every Pope get to choose a new, custom avatar once elected? :pac:

For example, we know Razi choose "Benedict" because Face was his favourite A-Team character.

donspeekinglesh

robindch wrote: »

A quick search on a domain registry shows that the "www.popeXXXX.com" domains are already taken for these guys, but as of half an hour ago, some of the .net's, .org's, .info's etc weren't -- surprised to see that the the catholic church left something as obvious as that slip

http://workbench.cadenhead.org/news/3712/predicting-next-popes-name

robindch

darjeeling wrote: »

I don't know who's going to win, but I'd like an accumulator on Baselios Isaac Cleemis Thottunkal for best name, best beard and best hat:

Here he is again, swearing in on the bible -- there isn't an atheist option here -- and looking like he's raring to vote.

Don't give him much of a chance as he's quite small and he doesn't look like he'll want to give up that black skullmop for Ratzinger's tasty red sunshader.

Dades

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)

No way they'll pick that guy. He looks like he was born in Muslania.

Turtwig

Dades wrote: »

No way they'll pick that guy. He looks like he was born in Muslania.

Maybe he's actually an undercover Muslim trying to infiltrate Vatican ranks?:eek:

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

Jernal wrote: »

Maybe he's actually an undercover Muslim trying to infiltrate Vatican ranks?:eek:

Too obvious.
He's really a she.

Pope Joan II.

Turtwig

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Too obvious.
He's really a she.

Pope Joan II.

Yeah, yeahhh you're right with all the facial hair we'd never have suspected that. Cunning Brilliance! Who was Joan the first though?

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

Jernal wrote: »

Yeah, yeahhh you're right with all the facial hair we'd never have suspected that. Cunning Brilliance! Who was Joan the first though?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Joan.

The RCC deny it ever happened or could possibly happen ever but it is within the realms of possibility when we consider the case of Dr James Barry http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Barry_(surgeon)#Early_life