Papal Conclave - Place Your Bets!

Brian Shanahan

DublinWriter wrote: »

If Cardinal Peter Turkson is made the next pope then go buy canned goods and plenty of them.

According to the Papal prophecies of St.Malachi the last Pope before the end of the world will be a 'Peter'.

Also the prophecies of St. Malachi were a) written in or around 1590 (popes were accurately described up until 1590 and not thereafter), b) probably a propoganda device for Cardinal Girolamo Simoncelli's candidature for pope in 1590, and c) couldn't even accurately prophesy the pope elected in 1590 they year of their most likely authorship.

Penn wrote: »

I'm buying canned goods anyway. Not because of the prophecy, I just really like tinned peaches.

Peaches come from a can,
They were put there by a man,
In a factory,
Dooooown Tooooown.

I'm actually more of an apple man myself.

robindch

Papal front-runner is an Italian who, shockingly, may have Mafia connections.

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2013/03/angelo-scola-anti-mafia-investigation/62998/

"We have some special shoes for atheists like you, Mr Dawkins..."

old hippy

I predict... more of the same

Penn

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

Say what you like about Ratzinger, but he did a lot of good.

He was in the Nazi Youth. He was head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith or whatever it was called which meant pretty much all Church sex abuse cases went through him. He called gay people intrinsically evil. He was a staunch conservative to a lot of issues which most people know are completely outdated.

Yup, he definitely did a lot of good for atheism. I would almost welcome more of the same.

Pherekydes

DublinWriter wrote: »

If Cardinal Peter Turkson is made the next pope then go buy canned goods and plenty of them.

Em, what'll you do with the canned goods after the world ends?

Pherekydes

If the Holy Spirit is truly influencing proceedings, don't you think just once in 266 times that he'll nudge them towards picking a female pope?

Personally, I think they've selected the pope already, but just use the 2 or 3 days in conclave to play cards, smoke cigars and argue about Messi and Ronaldo.

darjeeling

Fresh from his mission to North Korea, Dennis Rodman arrives in Vatican City to offer his wisdom.



This conclave malarkey is better than Eurovision.

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

darjeeling wrote: »

This conclave malarkey is better than Eurovision.

It would be if we could see the voting - for all we know the Eastern /Middle Europeans are voting for each other and Brady has gotten 12 points from Murphy-O'Connor

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

'So would you like me to show you this gay sauna we just bought?'

Sarky

Cardinal Atari Jaguar (Yore Ma)

Pope Fiction.

Dades

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)

^^ Following on the movie theme...


"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a Cardinal..."

Sarky

Cardinal Atari Jaguar (Yore Ma)

"So the bitch says to me, she says 'but your eminence, we can't afford that!', an' I jus' look at her and... Here, you got a light..? Thanks kid. Aaaaaah, sweet release. So anyway I look at her an' I say 'Ain't my problem, sweet cheeks, but if you ain't got the money for next week's donations, you'll be donatin' your kneecaps, capiche?' And she breaks down and kisses my ring and runs off. I tell ya, you can treat these kids like dirt an' they'll still turn around, kiss your ass and call it ice cream... Man, I'm bored out here, let's hit the clubs."

PopePalpatine

Dana (Norn Iron)

"This is Vat Country!"

Pherekydes

"Hmm, white smoke..."

darjeeling

Pope! Last bets now!

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

darjeeling wrote: »

Pope! Last bets now!

It's Ratzinger!!


:pac:

robindch

^^^ You sure it's not just bird crap on fire?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21776954

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

robindch wrote: »

^^^ You sure it's not just bird crap on fire?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21776954

I hope not. Brian Dobson is super totes amazeballs excited about it all. He'll be very upset...

calex71

Lots of kissing of rings going on before we find out who it is :pac:

/I'll get my coat

Seriously though, for an atheist I'm actually finding this whole process quite enthralling

darjeeling

Watching the crowds on the Guardian's live stream. Who are these people?

Turtwig

darjeeling wrote: »

Watching the crowds on the Guardian's live stream. Who are these people?

Cat licks, tv journos and just interested onlookers.

Turtwig

Did RTE just class Turkson as a "down to earth moderate"? :eek:

calex71

Also mildly amusing is that there is no current discussion on this in the Christianity forum as of 18:29

darjeeling

Jernal wrote: »

Cat licks, tv journos and just interested onlookers.

They're very enthusiastic anyway - it's like a rock concert down there. Maybe it is Bono after all.

GastroBoy

What is it again, if he comes out and doesn't get scared of his shadow, we have a pleasant winter ahead? Don't quite remember.

I think the elderly bigot has a chance.

Obliq

John Waters (Craggier Island)

Aaaarrrghhh, I think I'm going to go MAD from the anticipation .......that my parents and aunt who are currently occupying every sofa in the house will suddenly get bored of the endless coverage and turn the frecking telly off :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Bannasidhe

Cardinal Marc Ouellet (Canada)

Deleted User wrote: »

I think the elderly bigot has a chance.

Which one?

robindch

calex71 wrote: »

Also mildly amusing is that there is no current discussion on this in the Christianity forum as of 18:29

No doubt glued to the telly.

Habent Papam.

ms horatio

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Which one?

Didn't he win it last time?