how to deal with a bossy co-worker

Holyjebus

Hi guys,
I'm new in a job I really enjoy. 6 weeks now. Everything is going great, the two bosses are lovely but I have a big problem with my co-worker and I was just wondering how best to approach the situation?

Heres a bit of background information first: There was a woman there in the role before me working mon – wed and my co-worker, lets call her Jane, worked thurs and half day fri. My days have always been mon – thurs so when I was transferred to the job, my understanding with Head Office was that Jane would work a full day fri. It is only a one person role as it’s not overly busy and there is only one desk in the office.

Jane was expecting to get the full time role when the other lady retired so she was angry to hear I was being sent by Head Office instead so we didn't exactly meet on great terms.

So when I came, Jane never changed her hours because it suits her working those days and the boss agreed to it but Head Office aren’t aware of it. This means she is there all day thurs with me, taking over the desk and treating me like the office junior by having me do all the donkey work and questioning everything I do and being very aggressive with me if I’m not doing things her way. For example, she told me to change things around to suit me but when I did, she criticised everything until I just gave in and went back to her way of doing things.

She’s even been ringing me on my day off, Friday, to give me instructions on what I’ve to do the following week. My bosses don’t do this!!

The thing is, Head Office keep telling me I am her boss and she is only there to assist me, so if I was a nastier person, I could tell them how things are and they would change it immediatly, but I don’t want to do this and I don’t want to cause trouble. I just need her to back off and let me get on with things my way.

So, do I talk to my bosses about this? I really don't want to cause her any trouble or get her days switched as I know her hours suit her, I would just love to come up with a solution for us to work side by side as co-workers and for her to get it through her head that she is not my boss, Help!!

LegacyUser

This is lady is not happy that you are working there. She can't change this fact.
Your bosses know what she is like and this is why she did not get the role full time.
They could blame head office on this.
Your boss have let her have the hours she had always had without informing head office.
Meanwhile Jane is still unhappy and has decided that if she annoys you enough you will leave and she will have the full time role.
She is still working the hours that suit her and she is bossing you around.

I would tell your boss about what she is doing when you are working together and that she is ringing you on Friday telling you what to do the following week.
I would mention to them that you were informed by head office that you are Jane boss but that she thinks she can boss you around.
I would also let them know that you don't want to take this further then them but unless Jane changes her attitude and stops ringing you on a Friday you have no option but to contact head office.
I would not say anything directly to her as she is the type that could use this against you.
Ie I ring her to let her know what happened on Friday in case x,y, happens.

The Big Red Button

Next time she rings you on a Friday, tell her nicely but firmly that it's your day off, and if there's anything she feels you need to know, either send you an e-mail or leave a note on your desk, and tell her that you'll review it on Monday.

And after that, simply don't answer any phone calls from her on a Friday. Whatever it is can wait until Monday.

Also, you should approach Head Office and tell them that your understanding was that you would be working alone Monday to Thursday, and that Jane would work Fridays. Tell them that, if she is to continue working Thursdays, you'll need a new desk in the office, as it's impractical for the two of you to be sharing one desk (and it's unnecessary for you both to be there at the same time.)

The longer you leave it before addressing the situation and taking action, the more difficult it will be.

Holyjebus

Thanks guys, I appreciate the replies.
I really don't want to leave it too much longer either before it gets really out of hand.
There is a very bad 'them and us' vibe between my new bosses and Head Office so I was thinking it would probably not be the best idea to approach Head Office before talking to my new bosses or I will be going completely over their heads and making things worse for myself.
I hate the thoughts of having to do it at all, I'm such a chicken

Teyla Emmagan

Holyjebus wrote: »

Thanks guys, I appreciate the replies.
I really don't want to leave it too much longer either before it gets really out of hand.
There is a very bad 'them and us' vibe between my new bosses and Head Office so I was thinking it would probably not be the best idea to approach Head Office before talking to my new bosses or I will be going completely over their heads and making things worse for myself.
I hate the thoughts of having to do it at all, I'm such a chicken

You will be grand, go on. Your woman will just keep trying to push you around unless you do something, and the sooner the better. Speak to your bosses first though, definitely don't go straight to Head Office. Just tell them you don't feel Jane understands the new situation and is having difficulty transitioning and accepting your authority, or whatever. Tell them you need their support handling her as they've known her longer etc. It doesn't sound like there is room (or the need) for both of you there on Thursdays, so you should have a discussion about her just doing the Friday again. Or if your two bosses feel they can't go back on that find her a different place to sit on Thursdays. To be honest, your bosses seem to have created the situation, so I don't think it's too much to ask them to resolve it. And if there are items from Friday that are outstanding just tell Jane to leave them all documented for your return on Monday morning, no more phone calls. You are there four days a week and she is there to assist - she needs to start doing things your way, not the way she thinks they should be done.

Holyjebus

Thanks Teyla, I get the impression my bosses might be a bit scared of her too and maybe thats why they have gone along with her wishes. She is a very headstrong and opinionated person. My Senior boss is very laid back and seems to be the type who would agree to anything for a quite life, his second in command is a lovely person, very approachable but she started just a few months before me so wouldn't have been there when the arrangements were made about me joining them or when Jane's days were agreed. I was on maternity leave for a while and Jane was covering a few extra days so I would say he probably feels like he owes her now for all her help and flexibility at the time.
I will definitely approach it, if even to get her a desk of her own away from me!

Teyla Emmagan

Well it's only been six weeks, Jane will eventually get used to the new world order. And in fairness, it must be hard on her too not to have been offered the job on a full time basis, not that that's your fault. Her own desk might help though, at least then you won't be in each other's space all the time. Are there specific tasks that you could allocate just to be done when she's in, so that she could do all of those 'her way'? Might also help her see she doesn't 'own' the job and that you're the one who determines what she does. And it might lessen tensions a bit if you're not both trying to do the same thing.

kaimera

a new job you really enjoy...

seems key to me.

**** her for making it miserable.

life is too short tbh. let her know the chain of command, and stop answering her on your day off!

Holyjebus

Yeah, I guess it's still early days. I was hoping that she might start to back off when I'm 100%with how everything is done. I'm pretty much going to be doing everything, she has a few little things to do that she has kept to herself and the rest of the stuff she is passing on to me so I guess when I'm more confident and sure of the job, I'll be more able to stand up to her and she will back down.
I will still say something to the bosses about the office and that I was told friday was to be her day and just see how that goes down.