Life Goes On

dogmax

Well Everyone.

Here's another song i recorded last year, again really appreciate some feedback.

Thanks everyone.

https://soundcloud.com/pat-feely/life-goes-on

9959

dogmax wrote: »

Well Everyone.

Here's another song i recorded last year, again really appreciate some feedback.

Thanks everyone.

https://soundcloud.com/pat-feely/life-goes-on

Like it Pat, nice laid-back delivery which seems to be your style, Leonard Cohen and Lou Reed spring to mind.

A couple of suggestions:

1. Would it be possible for you to sing the final verse/chorus an octave above the previous ones, I'm guessing that you'd be stretching yourself, but I think the result would be very dramatic, the main notes in your melody would be C D and E above middle C, I know there's a G in there which might be a bit too high, but with some effort you might nail it, failing that you could just sing the E below the G.

2. The song almost stops itself naturally at 2.31, obviously this felt too short for you so you pushed it for another two and a half minutes, for what is in reality a very long 'outro', giving 'Hey Jude' a run for its money.
Perhaps a 5 minute version would be more suited to a live performance, but in terms of recording, never be afraid of brevity, it really can be your friend.

Sounds good Pat, keep writing and keep posting!

dogmax

9959 wrote: »

Like it Pat, nice laid-back delivery which seems to be your style, Leonard Cohen and Lou Reed spring to mind.

A couple of suggestions:

1. Would it be possible for you to sing the final verse/chorus an octave above the previous ones, I'm guessing that you'd be stretching yourself, but I think the result would be very dramatic, the main notes in your melody would be C D and E above middle C, I know there's a G in there which might be a bit too high, but with some effort you might nail it, failing that you could just sing the E below the G.

2. The song almost stops itself naturally at 2.31, obviously this felt too short for you so you pushed it for another two and a half minutes, for what is in reality a very long 'outro', giving 'Hey Jude' a run for its money.
Perhaps a 5 minute version would be more suited to a live performance, but in terms of recording, never be afraid of brevity, it really can be your friend.

Sounds good Pat, keep writing and keep posting!

Thanks 9959

Yea i understand what your saying about the vocals, it was first time recording for me but next time yea ill give it a try, ill see if i can nail it for you.

Leonard Cohen and Lou Reed, another great complement thanks.

Great feedback 9959 Thanks again,

Do you write songs yourself, love to hear them if you do.

WillRMusic

dogmax wrote: »

Well Everyone.

Here's another song i recorded last year, again really appreciate some feedback.

Thanks everyone.

https://soundcloud.com/pat-feely/life-goes-on

Hey pat,

Checked your tune out, it's a good tune, lyrics are great. chorus needs a bit more punch in my opinion, nice tune though buddy

freakingidol

Good song, I like the lyrics and the mood. For something to improve, I think that the intro is too long and overall the song should be about 3 minutes long. It should feel like a little bubble of thoughts, not something that goes on forever and keeps repeating itself.

Don't make this song any shorter Pat, its too good to cut any of it. 9959 mentioned Cohen, and I hear that too, also hear a bit of Neil Youngs piano style songs. Your'e in very good company there Pat!

dogmax

WillRMusic wrote: »

Hey pat,

Checked your tune out, it's a good tune, lyrics are great. chorus needs a bit more punch in my opinion, nice tune though buddy

Well Will something to work on alright, next time hopefully Thanks.

freakingidol wrote: »

Good song, I like the lyrics and the mood. For something to improve, I think that the intro is too long and overall the song should be about 3 minutes long. It should feel like a little bubble of thoughts, not something that goes on forever and keeps repeating itself.

Yea freakingidol we talk about a time frame for the song but in the end we just went with the flow, but i think 3 minutes would have been way to short, Thanks

Niko Chubby Registration wrote: »

Don't make this song any shorter Pat, its too good to cut any of it. 9959 mentioned Cohen, and I hear that too, also hear a bit of Neil Youngs piano style songs. Your'e in very good company there Pat!

Shorten that song absolutely not its call go with the flow and that's exactly what we did, we kick the time frame out the window and went with the flow of the song, Thanks Niko Chubby Registration.


Thanks Everyone.

Now this is what i call feedback everyone coming in with their own views, keep posting feedback everyone, Thanks again.

freakingidol

It's kind of a live version you have here, not the radio version, probably even not an album version. I don't think record labels would even allow this song to be this long on an album.

After 'looking back and see' 00:30, you should be done with the intro, but you probably want to add the 'memories' in there, but it's just ligering. I would end it at 03:40, so the song would be about 03:20 long. The additional backup vocals should be present between what is now 03:00 and 03:40, so everything would be there. A shorter concentrated version would give us the impression of a better song, and we always need that.

BlindRiver

dogmax wrote: »

Well Everyone.

Here's another song i recorded last year, again really appreciate some feedback.

Thanks everyone.

https://soundcloud.com/pat-feely/life-goes-on

Nice melody, nice arrangement, I like it. I'd agree with a previous comment about the chorus lacking a little something, maybe some backing vocals/harmonies to make it stand out from the main body of the song. Other than that it's a decent piece of work

dogmax

Well freakingidol

I do understand what you're saying and there is a radio station that has already email me to let me know that they will be playing one or more of my songs, now when that is I'm not to sure, I phone the radio station just over a month back and I was talking to a very nice man who reminded me that yes they know about my songs and when they're ready to play whichever song they decide to play they will let me know, I said my thanks and that's it, if they said they'll play it they'll play it, if they don't they wont.

(I don't think record labels would even allow this song to be this long on an album)

If and its a big IF record labels did offer me a contract and after I got it check out and found there was a clause in that contract that states they had control of how long or how short my songs should be, then we wouldn't have a contract.

(It's kind of a live version you have here)

Thanks freakingidol, that is a very nice complement.

Like to hear your views on this freakingidol if you don't mind I presume you live in America, I have posted my songs on two songwriters forums in America and I have notice that in some of the questions that songwriters ask the answers they sometime receive are similar to what you talk about in term of what the record companies want to hear and so on, I have also posted my songs on a UK songwriter forum and the answers to similar questions is not about what way the record companies want to hear the songs and so on but what way the song can be improve, record companies and others are never really mention on the UK and Irish songwriters forum.

So I'm just wondering do you see a different between songwriters approach to getting their songs heard in America than there would be in the UK and Ireland.

I'm probably not explaining this very well so if not ill get back to you later, Thanks freakingidol.

freakingidol

I'm in Los Angeles. There are dos and don'ts in the music industry.

I think that everything in a song has to be strong, this is what record companies and radio stations want to hear, it's all about improving the song. 30 seconds for an intro is plenty, 50 feels like an eternity, it would be a big no no for that reason. In a very natural way after 30 seconds we're ready for something else.

A shorter version can make a song stronger. In our days we get bored fast, a song needs to have something more to offer or it's time to wrap it up. I went through this process myself recently, I got rid of 2 verses in one song and one in another one and they are now better songs.

A hit song is usually between 3:30 and 4:30 long, and 4:30 is stretching it, the song should absolutely require it. If the listeners want more they can always press play again. You could easily edit yours, at least do it for the radio stations, it needs to be radio friendly. What you have here is not Bad Romance, even Rolling In The Deep is under 4:00, 3:20 would be plenty, long songs are out.

Just a question. When you post a song like this on a forum, are you technically releasing it? Someone could cover it now?

freakingidol

freakingidol wrote: »

I'm in Los Angeles. There are dos and don'ts in the music industry.

I think that everything in a song has to be strong, this is what record companies and radio stations want to hear, it's all about improving the song. 30 seconds for an intro is plenty, 50 feels like an eternity, it would be a big no no for that reason. In a very natural way after 30 seconds we're ready for something else.

A shorter version can make a song stronger. In our days we get bored fast, a song needs to have something more to offer or it's time to wrap it up. I went through this process myself recently, I got rid of 2 verses in one song and one in another one and they are now better songs.

A hit song is usually between 3:30 and 4:30 long, and 4:30 is stretching it, the song should absolutely require it. If the listeners want more they can always press play again. You could easily edit yours, at least do it for the radio stations, it needs to be radio friendly. What you have here is not Bad Romance, even Rolling In The Deep is under 4:00, 3:20 would be plenty, long songs are out.

Just a question. When you post a song like this on a forum, are you technically releasing it? Someone could cover it now?

I think dogmax is more concerned with the art of crafting a good quality song than creating a "hit". These days the two can be pretty far apart.

dogmax

freakingidol wrote: »

I'm in Los Angeles. There are dos and don'ts in the music industry.

I think that everything in a song has to be strong, this is what record companies and radio stations want to hear, it's all about improving the song. 30 seconds for an intro is plenty, 50 feels like an eternity, it would be a big no no for that reason. In a very natural way after 30 seconds we're ready for something else.

A shorter version can make a song stronger. In our days we get bored fast, a song needs to have something more to offer or it's time to wrap it up. I went through this process myself recently, I got rid of 2 verses in one song and one in another one and they are now better songs.

A hit song is usually between 3:30 and 4:30 long, and 4:30 is stretching it, the song should absolutely require it. If the listeners want more they can always press play again. You could easily edit yours, at least do it for the radio stations, it needs to be radio friendly. What you have here is not Bad Romance, even Rolling In The Deep is under 4:00, 3:20 would be plenty, long songs are out.

Just a question. When you post a song like this on a forum, are you technically releasing it? Someone could cover it now?

As I said before I do understand what you're saying but I still wouldn't change anything with this song and Niko Chubby Registration is absolutely correct its not about creating a hit, its about getting the best you can out of a song and with this song that's exactly what we did.

　
I didn't record my songs with the thoughts of record companies or radio stations in my head, as for radio stations I like to think that its the quality of the song they would be more interested in hearing more so than the length of it.

Edit the song never, its the great music arrangement that Al put into this song which I think is absolutely brilliant that really makes this song come alive, as for taken out a verse, the same never, I spent long enough putting this song together listening back changing words here and there finding the right chords like I do with all my songs and then finally when it done, finding someone like Al who can put that magic seal on it and breathe new life into the song, edit it, again, never.

If record companies and radio stations don't want to know my songs that's okay, I've absolutely no problem with that, I been writing songs for well over twenty years and in that time I have great memories and yes some sad one as well, and each of my songs remind me of them but this is what its all about, the journey, the flow, the meeting of great new friends, the sitting down in the company of brilliance, and this journey is all thanks to my songs, as I said if record companies and radio stations don't want to know my songs that's okay, I've absolutely no problem with that and anyway, Life Goes On.

(Just a question. When you post a song like this on a forum, are you technically releasing it? Someone could cover it now)

Have to get my songs out there can't hide them away forever, as for someone could cover it,
all my songs are protected by copyright which can easily be proving in court.

What's the weather like in Los Angeles freakingidol, its freezing here you lucky so and so.

Keep posting, Thanks.

BlindRiver

Niko Chubby Registration wrote: »

I think dogmax is more concerned with the art of crafting a good quality song than creating a "hit". These days the two can be pretty far apart.

I remember reading a few years ago that Mariah Carey's "Greatest Hits" album had sold more copies than Bob Dylan's entire back catalogue put together. Kinda sums it up. I know what I'd prefer, and it ain't high-pitched warbling.

oceanmachine

Hey Pat,

First thing I think you nailed is the production on this. Everything blends well together, nothing too loud etc. Especially the piano and drums at the 50 mark, love the way this comes in. Your voice really suits the laid back groove of the song also. Production is something I have trouble with as I record at home.

I like the intro, doesnt strike me as too long. I think the song flows lovely up until 2.39. I agree with others that the song comes to a perfect end at this stage. I feel alot of my own songs are too long but I find it very hard to cut them down so I understand when you say you dont want to shorten it.

2.09 to 2.39 is my favourite section. Lovely uplifting piano here. I'd end the song here. Leave people wanting more and wanting to replay it.

Anyway, best of luck with, its a good tune either way!



My boards promotion page http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056672731

dogmax

Thanks oceanmachine

As you know feedback mean a lot to us, really glad you understand the reason why i dont want to shorten it.

Best of luck to you oceanmachine, talk again. :cool: