Song critique please!

WillRMusic

I wrote and recorded this 10 years ago and only ever showed friends and family. I believe this could be a hit today. Completely Honest critiques please:

http://m.soundcloud.com/emotiveexperience/the-state-im-in-today

freakingidol

WillRMusic wrote: »

Completely Honest critiques please.

It's not gonna be a hit and you wouldn't be able to license it. Although it's a fine production and there are some thoughts put into it, it's the kind of song that doesn't have enough to offer. There's no hook, it's not engaging, at the end I don't feel like I've been entertained, it's not been an emotional experience neither, it's not memorable, not 1 out of 1000.

It's not simple to write something that someone else would want to buy or sing. Most singers, most bands, write their own songs to make more money, if they co-write they already have their people, and they can do better than what you have to offer. It's an industry where nobody wants you and you have to force their hands, it better be awesome.

Then releasing something yourself ... do it for fun cause it's not gonna go anywhere. I know a songwriter who has more than a hundred million views on Youtube and has found no way to make his songwriting business viable. Only those who can be heard on radio make some real money, that's the industry.

There will be a lot of money to be made for the best of us, but that's because it's not easy, winner takes all. Sorry but as for now we are still losers.

WillRMusic

freakingidol wrote: »

It's not gonna be a hit and you wouldn't be able to license it. Although it's a fine production and there are some thoughts put into it, it's the kind of song that doesn't have enough to offer. There's no hook, it's not engaging, at the end I don't feel like I've been entertained, it's not been an emotional experience neither, it's not memorable, not 1 out of 1000.

It's not simple to write something that someone else would want to buy or sing. Most singers, most bands, write their own songs to make more money, if they co-write they already have their people, and they can do better than what you have to offer. It's an industry where nobody wants you and you have to force their hands, it better be awesome.

Then releasing something yourself ... do it for fun cause it's not gonna go anywhere. I know a songwriter who has hundreds of millions of views on Youtube and has found no way to make his songwriting business viable. Only those who can be heard on radio make some real money, that's the industry.

There will be a lot of money to be made for the best of us, but that's because it's not easy, winner takes all. Sorry but as for now we are still losers.

Appreciate your honest critique man, could you critique my other song nest in the clouds too?

freakingidol

Your songs sound like more of the same, it's not because you have different lyrics that you have created something really unique. It's the same way to write, same approach, same state of mind, about the same productions, at the end they all sound like more of the same.

Your lyrics are also kinda all over the place, it's difficult to keep up with what you're saying. Every verse should be communicating a message that is very well defined, references should be alike, so it would be simple for the listener to understand what the song is about.

If you ever feel like writing more songs, try doing something completely different, find an original concept, be animated by a different energy, write it with the listener in mind, and dare to explore.

WillRMusic

freakingidol wrote: »

Your songs sound like more of the same, it's not because you have different lyrics that you have created something really unique. It's the same way to write, same approach, same state of mind, about the same productions, at the end they all sound like more of the same.

Your lyrics are also kinda all over the place, it's difficult to keep up with what you're saying. Every verse should be communicating a message that is very well defined, references should be alike, so it would be simple for the listener to understand what the song is about.

If you ever feel like writing more songs, try doing something completely different, find an original concept, be animated by a different energy, write it with the listener in mind, and dare to explore.

Well, I'd have to disagree buddy but I am biased. They mostly have the same arrangement which is one i learned from my early years listening to oasis but they are clearly all different songs and unique in there own right. The lyrics actually make perfect sense however cryptic they may be.

I appreciate you listening

App

freakingidol

It's not that it doesn't make sense, it's just that it's difficult to follow the train of thoughts and to remember what's been said, even when we're paying great attention, and usually the listener wouldn't. Songs are supposed to grab our attention, imagine you're not paying attention and you'd have to go, 'Woh, what is that!', that's what a hit song does; ... or a popular singer could carry out a bad tune, that would make it a hit too.

dogmax

Well Will

Again i like this but ill say it again your music needs that extra kick, check out this Guy i know his website address is on my SoundCloud page and my YouTube channel he a classically trained musician, check out his website.

As for your songs sounding the same, i don't think there's a singer songwriter anywhere that hasn't got similarity in their work, but sometime what make some of their songs sound different is people with different ideas for the music of their songs.

One other thing Will take your time to post your next song, you have two songs posted already and as freakingidol rightly said you can hear similarity in your two songs, one song at a time give you feedback on one song at a time, where as two at a time you're going to get feedback on the similarity of the two.

Best of luck to you Will, keep posting feedbacks that way you'll keep getting feedback, Thanks.

BlindRiver

WillRMusic wrote: »

I wrote and recorded this 10 years ago and only ever showed friends and family. I believe this could be a hit today. Completely Honest critiques please:

http://m.soundcloud.com/emotiveexperience/the-state-im-in-today

Good tune, nice and upbeat. Has a touch of the Rembrandts in the opening chords. If it had a little more instrumentation it would really make it dance, some snappy lead guitar maybe. It's the kind of thing that's popular on regional radio stations across the country. Might be a little bit long for a radio hit but going in the right direction

9959

The intro is 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' by Deep Blue Something, but the song itself is very different.
Keep plugging away, perhaps with a different singer, you never know.
Good luck.

BlindRiver

9959 wrote: »

The intro is 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' by Deep Blue Something, but the song itself is very different.
Keep plugging away, perhaps with a different singer, you never know.
Good luck.

That's the one I had in my head too, it was only after I posted I remembered it wasn't the Rembrandts at all.