1 tip of a flat belly!

amacca

anyone prepared to admit they have clicked this sh1te desperate to find out what this weird old tip to cut bits off their belly was?

if so what was it?

Anyone find the wording hilarious?

(thinly veild wtf is the secret? does it work? oh please please wont someone tell me!)

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

eat properly, get a bit of exercise. don't drink much


boom

madma

Lose 2 stone in belly fat in 1 month!! :pac:

madma

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

eat properly, get a bit of exercise. don't drink much


boom

2 out of 3 for me but have been drinking like a demon lately, need to get back to limiting it! april will be a good time to cut it out for as much as possible

Sauve

Simple maths.
If calories intaken is greater than your output then you'll gain weight.

amacca

Sauve wrote: »

Simple maths.
If calories intaken is greater than your output then you'll gain weight.

its never simple....at least its not that simple for some

I eat like a horse (and unhealthily/fattening stuff at times) and at times I'm active and other times I'm not, yet I always stay around the same weight and have very close to the aforementioned flat belly (presumably because of metabolism)........

I see other people with more active lifestyles that eat healthier and still just seem to be more rotund/flabby than me

its got a lot to do with it yes but its not everything

kowloon

Sauve wrote: »

Simple maths.
If calories intaken is greater than your output then you'll gain weight.

I can cheat that system. :cool:

spankysue

I lost 2 stones.... after the sex change operation :eek:

Sergeant

The tip is to drink a litre of olive oil a day, and to wrap yourself in a coat made of hot water bottles while walking backwards up a stairs.

Works a treat. I was a size 48, and had resigned myself to a life of takeaway food, computer games, weed and internet atheism.

Now a size 32 and really loving life.

The Scientician

1 weird old tip is to not click on internet ads.

The Scientician

By the way someone in my area makes £40,000 a month working part time from home.

The Scientician

The Scientician wrote: »

By the way someone in my area makes £40,000 a month working part time from home.

Plenty of regulars has she?

ChunkyLover_53

Goddammitt are you people going to tell us the secret already!

There are single girls in my area dying to meet me!

mikom

Launching a new ad myself..........

1 tip of a 12 inch cock!

MadsL

^


Just the weird old tip?

Talk To Frank

My belly always seems flatter after a shite.

Sauve

amacca wrote: »

its never simple....at least its not that simple for some

I eat like a horse (and unhealthily/fattening stuff at times) and at times I'm active and other times I'm not, yet I always stay around the same weight and have very close to the aforementioned flat belly (presumably because of metabolism)........

I see other people with more active lifestyles that eat healthier and still just seem to be more rotund/flabby than me

its got a lot to do with it yes but its not everything

You just agreed with my point!!
Whether you're exercising like crazy or not, your body is using up the energy you're feeding it somehow.

amacca

mikom wrote: »

Launching a new ad myself..........

1 tip of a 12 inch cock!

the most sensitive tip?


or if you want

two tips courtesy of two six inchers

joetoad

I can eat and drink whatever i like. I cant put on weight!

amacca

Sauve wrote: »

You just agreed with my point!!
Whether you're exercising like crazy or not, your body is using up the energy you're feeding it somehow.

well in that case wtf am I outputting?


should I get an thermal imaging camera on myself?

amacca

amacca wrote: »

its never simple....at least its not that simple for some

I eat like a horse (and unhealthily/fattening stuff at times) and at times I'm active and other times I'm not, yet I always stay around the same weight and have very close to the aforementioned flat belly (presumably because of metabolism)........

I see other people with more active lifestyles that eat healthier and still just seem to be more rotund/flabby than me

its got a lot to do with it yes but its not everything

I've never see a slim person who claims they eat a lot even come close to eating what I eat.

Miss Lockhart

Deleted User wrote: »

I've never see a slim person who claims they eat a lot even come close to eating what I eat.

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.


It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

Miss Lockhart

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.


It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

If he had any conscience he would be undergoing some tests. Somewhere in him lies the answer to the obesity epidemic.

hefferboi

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.


It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

He does ya.

mikom

Deleted User wrote: »

If he had any conscience he would be undergoing some tests. Somewhere in him lies the answer to the obesity epidemic.

Probably beneath the layers of fat wrapped around his heart.

Miss Lockhart

hefferboi wrote: »

He does ya.

"Ya", he does.

Not to mention the number of Dutch Gold cans he gets through.

Captain Chaos

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.


It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

So if he had to fast for a blood test he would probably die with that need of food. That's like 4,500 - 5,000 cals. Only a very big guy training very hard every day would need that and maintain weight.

mattjack

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.


It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

That's cause he's strung out .

hatrickpatrick

Sauve wrote: »

Simple maths.
If calories intaken is greater than your output then you'll gain weight.

This is basically correct, with two additional pieces of info required:
1: You can manipulate your metabolism to trick it into continually burning energy constantly without regard for how much energy it actually has to use. Think of it like a drunk person using their overdraft to buy another round with their ATM card, but not realising they're using their overdraft.

2: Protein calories only barely count as calories since the amount of energy required to break them down into amino acids is almost equal to the amount of energy they give back in return. So while restricting calories and upping exercise, prioritize eating food that has a high protein content.

And in case anyone doubts my credibility, I was formerly an obese (224lbs, hardly any muscle ) teenager who fell in love with a girl in May 2007 and dropped to 140lbs by the following August (when we'd be going back to school) in order to give myself a chance. And I dropped to that level without ever feeling like I'd starved myself - in fact, one of the main rules is that if you feel hunger pangs, your body is going to start conserving energy so you're better off having a bunch of small snacks throughout the day than two or three big meals.

Little tricks like that go a LONG way. Another simple one is that if you're already getting your 8 glasses of water a day, drop an ice cube into each of them and let it cool down. Your body uses energy heating up the water before it can use it for anything, and it's possible to burn off about 80 calories a day from that if you're consistent with it.

Always have a bit of protein right before bed as this will keep your metabolism running high throughout the night.
Eat breakfast AS SOON as you get up, don't do anything before - your metabolism shuts down while asleep and it won't start back up until you have your first meal.
Build muscle by lifting weights - the more muscle you have, the more calories your body requires per day even if you're just sitting doing nothing.

Miss Lockhart

mattjack wrote: »

That's cause he's strung out .

He's certainly stoned a lot of the time. But I'm certain he's not using any other drugs.

My mother has always been just as unhealthy and just as skinny.

mattjack

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

This is basically correct, with two additional pieces of info required:
1: You can manipulate your metabolism to trick it into continually burning energy constantly without regard for how much energy it actually has to use. Think of it like a drunk person using their overdraft to buy another round with their ATM card, but not realising they're using their overdraft.

2: Protein calories only barely count as calories since the amount of energy required to break them down into amino acids is almost equal to the amount of energy they give back in return. So while restricting calories and upping exercise, prioritize eating food that has a high protein content.

And in case anyone doubts my credibility, I was formerly an obese (224lbs, hardly any muscle ) teenager who fell in love with a girl in May 2007 and dropped to 140lbs by the following August (when we'd be going back to school) in order to give myself a chance. And I dropped to that level without ever feeling like I'd starved myself - in fact, one of the main rules is that if you feel hunger pangs, your body is going to start conserving energy so you're better off having a bunch of small snacks throughout the day than two or three big meals.

Little tricks like that go a LONG way. Another simple one is that if you're already getting your 8 glasses of water a day, drop an ice cube into each of them and let it cool down. Your body uses energy heating up the water before it can use it for anything, and it's possible to burn off about 80 calories a day from that if you're consistent with it.

And the girl part ?

Sergeant

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.


It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

Ya, but has he ever eaten 2.5kg of boiled potatoes swimming in butter with a side of 16 sausages, all washed down with two litres of milk?

No, thought not. Guy is a lightweight.

lidllady

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

This is basically correct, with two additional pieces of info required:
1: You can manipulate your metabolism to trick it into continually burning energy constantly without regard for how much energy it actually has to use. Think of it like a drunk person using their overdraft to buy another round with their ATM card, but not realising they're using their overdraft.

How does part 1 work?

One thing that needs to be taken into account with all diets is that carbohydrates make the body store water with it, whereas protein doesn't.

One weird tip: Bread is the devil...

hatrickpatrick

mattjack wrote: »

And the girl part ?

I don't wanna talk about it, dammit! :pac:

hatrickpatrick

lidllady wrote: »

How does part 1 work?

One thing that needs to be taken into account with all diets is that carbohydrates make the body store water with it, whereas protein doesn't.

I would need to write a massive essay (and I might one day) about how I did it, but to give a few examples, you need to have a snack roughly every 2-3 hours, never go longer than that without food or your body will say "Well f*ck this, time to start saving as much as I can in case there's an impending famine or something". Building muscle will cause your resting metabolism (how much energy you use just sitting in a chair doing nothing) to rocket, as will eating protein and drinking ice cold water. Eat breakfast before you do ANY exercise and make sure it's a decent breakfast.
When you're eating, wait about 5 minutes before you decide to have a second helping - your body takes that long to register how much you've eaten and whether you need more, often you'll find you're not actually hungry anymore after waiting a couple of minutes.

This is all on the calorie restriction end - obviously the other side is to boost your usage of energy by exercising like a mad fecker. If you don't have time to do a fitness regime (I was on my summer holidays and I was so determined to get this done that I powerwalked four hours a day, one hour on, one hour off from midday to 7PM ), little things always help - get off a few bus or train stations early and walk the rest of the way, choose the stairs over the lift or escalator, even just pace around in your room / office / whatever while on the phone or thinking, instead of sitting still.

The phrase "every little helps" is the most awful cliche around and I hate using it, but in no walk of life is it more relevant than in fitness and weight loss.

Greyham

A local mother has a secret the beauty industry hates but she won't tell me

nbar12

drink vinegar instead of water

Overheal

Dozens of local singles are waiting to meet me, but none of them seem to want to just try contacting me on facebook. What gives?

Madam_X

I lost 18kg in two weeks with these SHOCKING diet tips.

Fox_In_Socks

Miss Lockhart wrote:

He's certainly stoned a lot of the time. But I'm certain he's not using any other drugs.

My mother has always been just as unhealthy and just as skinny.

Your family would have suffered terribly in the famine!

Madam_X wrote: »

I lost 18kg in two weeks with these SHOCKING diet tips.

Lets see, 3 kgs per full term baby (freshly googled)...so you had sextuplets, Madam X? Congrats. It just seemed like 2 weeks actually getting them out.:P

irish bloke

joetoad wrote: »

I can eat and drink whatever i like. I cant put on weight!

You should see a doctor, sounds like you have worms...

amacca

Overheal wrote: »

Dozens of local singles are waiting to meet me, but none of them seem to want to just try contacting me on facebook. What gives?

You have to make the first move.........the single ladies expect that!

Just be a man and give them your credit card details at the start.

Kinski

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.


It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

Tell him to enjoy it while it lasts. He is roughly 12-18 months away from ballooning in size.:pac:

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup

You're all laughing at these ad copies but I used to be an affiliate marketer and the CTRs and conversation ratios of stuff like this was through the roof. People are just mad curious to see what that one weird tip is.

Then she (always female) signs up to her $1.95 'free trial' that rebills her for $60 if she doesn't cancel in a week. FTC have finally clamped down on all this though.

Chancer3001

the eat every 2-3 hours and ALWAYS eat breakfast guy has obviously never head of IF.

*smug*

lost in cork

what is the chat up line that will supposedly get every woman jumping into bed with me ??

ahnowbrowncow

lost in cork wrote: »

what is the chat up line that will supposedly get every woman jumping into bed with me ??

I'm a love pirate and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

KTRIC

A prune smoothie and half a pack of ducolax every night before bed and the weight will drop off :pac:

An Coilean

amacca wrote: »

anyone prepared to admit they have clicked this sh1te desperate to find out what this weird old tip to cut bits off their belly was?

if so what was it?

Anyone find the wording hilarious?

(thinly veild wtf is the secret? does it work? oh please please wont someone tell me!)

I am somewhat intrigued by the wording.

Why is it that they think people would be more likely to go for a 'Weird old tip' than some sort of 'just discovered scientific breakthrough'?

Dwork

I do 50 sit-ups before I get out of bed every morning. Just saying like. There are 2 side-effects, I have a six-pack and I'm able to walk upright. If I miss doing the sit-ups, I can't do the second one. Backs fecked. Savage six-pack though.:)

gurramok

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I would need to write a massive essay

You're young, easier to lose weight. Try losing it when in you're in your 30's when your stamina is reduced! Actually its good you did it now before you reach that age

So nobody can reveal the tip to lose that belly then?