Unfriendly people around UCC

barbarasummers

Does anyone ever think that people around UCC can be a bit unfriendly. It's a case of I won't talk to you unless I know you. Often at bus stops and things like that when a couple of people who don't know each other have to hang around.. they never talk. Sometimes they might have to stand around for 20 minutes or so.

I sometimes make the effort, but they answer in monosyllables & never meet me half way, so therefore I get the hint and don't try any more. I think it's quite immature. People should be able to talk to each other, even if they're strangers. Also: if ever there was a matter of confusion, no one would ever ask, 'oh when the next bus?.... is something different today? etc' I often do and save myself(and often the group) from alot of hassle and confusion. They never do, & would rather stand around in the cold all day. They all seem like pure unimaginative sheep

Byron85

Strangers not wanting to talk to other strangers? Shocking.

Look, if I'm at a bus stop and someone wants to ask me a question, etc, then I have no problem answering. Other than that, I like to be left alone. It's as simple as that. Why should I be under an obligation to talk to anybody just because we're getting on the same bus? Some people just like to left alone. As for being unimaginative? Since when does not wanting to be disturbed equate with being unimaginative? Personally, I don't enjoy being told my higher brain functions are lacking.

What is correct however, is that UCC is very cliquey, but so are most universities, and most places in society in general.

keepkeyyellow

You can't beat a good conversation at a good conversation at a bus stop.

barbarasummers

Byron85 wrote: »

Strangers not wanting to talk to other strangers? Shocking.

Look, if I'm at a bus stop and someone wants to ask me a question, etc, then I have no problem answering. Other than that, I like to be left alone. It's as simple as that. Why should I be under an obligation to talk to anybody just because we're getting on the same bus? Some people just like to left alone.

That sounds quite cold. Of course you're not obliged, it's just called being friendly. Would you feel that way about 95% of strangers, or ALL of them? When you're waiting for a buss, it can be viewed as time out of your life. You may as well be talking to someone. That way you might find out about something, learn something, etc. If I wanted to be left alone, I'd probably end up thinking about random stupid thoughts. Perhaps you have really interesting things to think about... so interesting that if you were at home all alone you mightn't even turn on the tele, and rather just sit there on the couch thinking!!!!!

Byron85 wrote: »

As for being unimaginative? Since when does not wanting to be disturbed equate with being unimaginative? Personally, I don't enjoy being told my higher brain functions are lacking.

A few weeks ago I used my initiative when the park and ride didn't come at the expected time & asked the guy on duty why. He knew it was delayed 20 mins. Long story short, I saved myself some hassle because of it. The others stood there in the cold all confused

upstairs for coffee

The only reason you'd start socializing with a stranger is for personal gain - either you wish to engage in coitus with them or you want to build a "network" with them so you can get in touch if you need a job.

barbarasummers

upstairs for coffee wrote: »

The only reason you'd start socializing with a stranger is for personal gain - either you wish to engage in coitus with them or you want to build a "network" with them so you can get in touch if you need a job.

No, because I'd happily talk a man too, knowing that I'm not going to get a job. Like I said it's just being friendly, and who knows.. there is a small chance you could bump into them in a work place or somewhere later on in life

upstairs for coffee

barbarasummers wrote: »

No, because I'd happily talk a man too, knowing that I'm not going to get a job. Like I said it's just being friendly, and who knows.. there is a small chance you could bump into them in a work place or somewhere later on in life

Why do you feel the need to be friendly though? Why not keep yourself to yourself?

They are just queuing for a bus, hardly an invite for a chat.

PlainP

Probably the smell of benjy off ya op.....

Byron85

barbarasummers wrote: »

That sounds quite cold. Of course you're not obliged, it's just called being friendly. Would you feel that way about 95% of strangers, or ALL of them? When you're waiting for a buss, it can be viewed as time out of your life. You may as well be talking to someone. That way you might find out about something, learn something, etc. If I wanted to be left alone, I'd probably end up thinking about random stupid thoughts. Perhaps you have really interesting things to think about... so interesting that if you were at home all alone you mightn't even turn on the tele, and rather just sit there on the couch thinking!!!!!



A few weeks ago I used my initiative when the park and ride didn't come at the expected time & asked the guy on duty why. He knew it was delayed 20 mins. Long story short, I saved myself some hassle because of it. The others stood there in the cold all confused

I don't own a television and haven't in 5 years. I do spend most of time reading and writing so yes, I do end up sitting around thinking. I also end up standing around thinking when I'm at bus stops. I just don't want to be bothered but as I said, if someone wants to ask me something I'm perfectly polite and pleasant.

barbarasummers

upstairs for coffee wrote: »

Why do you feel the need to be friendly though? Why not keep yourself to yourself?

I already said why

barbarasummers

Byron85 wrote: »

I don't own a television and haven't in 5 years. I do spend most of time reading and writing so yes, I do end up sitting around thinking. I also end up standing around thinking when I'm at bus stops. I just don't want to be bothered but as I said, if something wants to ask me someone I'm perfectly polite and pleasant.

What if it was George Clooney.. you'd be happy to talk then though.. right?

Byron85

barbarasummers wrote: »

What if it was George Clooney.. you'd be happy to talk then though.. right?

I would? That's news to me.

Corkfeen

I don't think this is unique to UCC students. If I'm waiting ten minutes for a train or a bus, I don't have any particular desire for a person to converse with me unless I know them. I feel really uncomfortable when a person does this to me and it's exceptionally rude to assume that a person at a bus stop wants to have a conversation. For all you know, the person may feel uncomfortable and you're shoving them into this situation.

yenom

You can't beat a good chat with old people on the bus.

Miaireland

To be honest I don't think it is just a UCC thing but is pretty much everywhere.

Some people (myself included) don't like making chitchat. I work in a job where I am making small talk a lot so when I am not in work I like to keep myself to myself.

Also you don't know what worries/problems concerns people have and maybe they don't want to chat to a random stranger. I don't think it is being unfriendly.

barbarasummers

Corkfeen wrote: »

it's exceptionally rude to assume that a person at a bus stop wants to have a conversation

It's only rude if you don't stop the moment you realise they're anti-social. There's nothing wrong with trying to strike up a conversation with someone... which is what you're suggesting! People often say hello or make an ice-breaker to me, in the changing rooms, buss stop, sauna or where-ever. I often have an interesting conversation and learn something. It just makes the world a more friendly place, and after 3 minutes talking to someone you're a stranger no more!

Usually people with this outlook are older people I'll admit. Maybe people in UCC are still young and therefore shy. At this point in time I only only talk to strangers who are men ironically enough. Trying to make chit chat when a girl in UCC....... pointless. They'd make you feel like potential rapists!! That's just the way they are!

barbarasummers

Byron85 wrote: »

I would? That's news to me.

Well, you're obviously not an average UCC student, if you don't own a tele. You're female.. right?

barbarasummers

Miaireland wrote: »

Some people (myself included) don't like making chitchat. I work in a job where I am making small talk a lot so when I am not in work I like to keep myself to myself.

The whole idea is that it might go beyond chit chat

Miaireland wrote: »

Also you don't know what worries/problems concerns people have and maybe they don't want to chat to a random stranger.

All the more reason to use a little conversation. Oh come on... the chances are that their dad didn't die in the last 48 hours. Face it people... the Irish are a little ignorant in this regard. Be more social!!

aN.Droid

barbarasummers wrote: »

It's only rude if you don't stop the moment you realise they're anti-social. There's nothing wrong with trying to strike up a conversation with someone... which is what you're suggesting! People often say hello or make an ice-breaker to me, in the changing rooms, buss stop, sauna or where-ever. I often have an interesting conversation and learn something. It just makes the world a more friendly place, and after 3 minutes talking to someone you're a stranger no more!

Usually people with this outlook are older people I'll admit. Maybe people in UCC are still young and therefore shy. At this point in time I only only talk to strangers who are men ironically enough. Trying to make chit chat when a girl in UCC....... pointless. They'd make you feel like potential rapists!! That's just the way they are!

Nah, expecting conversation from every person you meet is not rude at all... it's naive.

I am not going to have a conversation with every tom dick and harry I meet in my daily travels whether that be crossing on the street or waiting for a bus. I like to keep to myself and don't mistake that for shyness or rudeness. It is just the way I am and anyone expecting me to act otherwise is like I said being naive.

OP if you like having conversations good for you but not everyone shares the same view.

EDIT: on the point of you calling people ignorant for not acting the way you would like them.... is... just... ignorant.

barbarasummers

Limericks wrote: »

Nah, expecting conversation from every person you meet is not rude at all... it's naive.

I didn't say that "expecting conversation from" people is rude. What I was saying would be rude; is if I continued talking to them after realising they're not interested. And I don't expect conversation with everyone I meet, believe me! It's just that I'm open to it if it happens. I'm not on the opposite end of the spectrum to you, it's just that I've got a good balance of both.

Limericks wrote: »

I like to keep to myself and don't mistake that for shyness or rudeness. It is just the way I am and anyone expecting me to act otherwise is like I said being naive.

I'll admit that that's your right but you sound stubbornly stuck in your ways. Edit: even YOU can't say that sitting silent far 20 mins under a grey sky is entertaining. It's not a question of why, but why not? Typical Irish

Sound of Silence

Because nowadays everything is considered an invasion of personal space.

I personally have never been that concerned about maintaining some barrier between myself and others when I'm out and about in the town, because ultimately I'm not in my own personal environment - I'm in a public street, and as such fully expect to have to interact with other human beings.

Unless the person is obviously derranged, I would never shut them down if they decided to talk to me out of the blue. They might even have something interesting to say.

barbarasummers

Sound of Silence wrote: »

Because nowadays everything is considered an invasion of personal space.

I personally have never been that concerned about maintaining some barrier between myself and others when I'm out and about in the town, because ultimately I'm not in my own personal environment - I'm in a public street, and as such fully expect to have to interact with other human beings.

Unless the person is obviously derranged, I would never shut them down if they decided to talk to me out of the blue. They might even have something interesting to say.

I must say it's ironic that I met so much resistance from a bunch of people who usually refuse to talk! They'll talk to strangers on the internet no problem when it comes to justifying their stubborness! As far as I'm concerned, they can all blow out their eardrums with their iPods!!!

Byron85

barbarasummers wrote: »

Well, you're obviously not an average UCC student, if you don't own a tele. You're female.. right?

Chuck Stone

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
But nothing comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
And mother****ers act like they forgot about Dre.

aN.Droid

barbarasummers wrote: »

I must say it's ironic that I met so much resistance from a bunch of people who usually refuse to talk! They'll talk to strangers on the internet no problem when it comes to justifying their stubborness! As far as I'm concerned, they can all blow out their eardrums with their iPods!!!

I won't refuse to talk. I will acknowledge someone if they greet me and dispense with pleasantries but I usually am not gonna sit there and have a full blown conversation with a stranger just because there is nothing else to do at that moment.

Call me stubborn but from my point of view you are the one being stubborn with your opinions.

barbarasummers

Byron85 wrote: »

Well good luck with playing hard to get with the ladies if you look like that. You still don't have a tele, so you're a contrarian UCC student!

Zillah

Some (most) of us don't like talking to others as much as you seem to. We're perfectly happy day dreaming while waiting for a bus, and it's weird and wrong that you seem to think our disinterest in your conversation is a personality flaw.

barbarasummers

Zillah wrote: »

Some (most) of us don't like talking to others as much as you seem to.

Sometimes I like to be left alone too, but I'm not saying you should constantly be talking to people, it's just that you should be open to it and not have a mental barrier around yourself

Zillah wrote: »

We're perfectly happy day dreaming while waiting for a bus, and it's weird and wrong that you seem to think our disinterest in your conversation is a personality flaw.

It's a trait of the Irish. I would view it as a flaw. I think it's a combination of shyness, lack of initiative and snobbery. The Americans don't have it. And lets face it, America is a better country than Ireland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bjA-4no1ZY

ManMade

barbarasummers wrote: »

Sometimes I like to be left alone too, but I'm not saying you should constantly be talking to people, it's just that you should be open to it and not have a mental barrier around yourself



It's a trait of the Irish. I would view it as a flaw. I think it's a combination of shyness, lack of initiative and snobbery. The Americans don't have it. And lets face it, America is a better country than Ireland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bjA-4no1ZY

'Murica!

Zillah

barbarasummers wrote: »

Sometimes I like to be left alone too, but I'm not saying you should constantly be talking to people, it's just that you should be open to it and not have a mental barrier around yourself

I don't have a mental barrier, I just don't enjoy talking to strangers much, especially when I'm at a bus stop and just want to go home. This isn't a side effect of damaged psychology or whatever you're imagining, conversations at a bus stop just aren't much fun.

It's a trait of the Irish. I would view it as a flaw. I think it's a combination of shyness, lack of initiative and snobbery. The Americans don't have it. And lets face it, America is a better country than Ireland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bjA-4no1ZY

That's a rather naive thing to say. Try being a poor person, or God help you, black, in the USA and tell me it's better than here. Not to mention: You try striking up a conversation with a stranger on public transport in, say, Manhattan, and see if they "lack initiative" like we, poor, flawed Irish.

Not that that has the slightest thing to do with the topic at hand. If this is the sort of random shite you come out with at a bus stop I can't blame people for giving you the cold shoulder.

homeless student

barbarasummers wrote: »

The whole idea is that it might go beyond chit chat



All the more reason to use a little conversation. Oh come on... the chances are that their dad didn't die in the last 48 hours. Face it people... the Irish are a little ignorant in this regard. Be more social!!

I agree with lot of what you have said, sometimes people can be right dry $hites but the Irish are a little ignorant in this regard really? id say the Irish are the best people you could easily start a conversation with.

shane9689

id talk to you barbarasummers. i enjoy meeting new people where ever whenever, ofcourse there would be exceptions, if i was worried about something in my head like im heading to the hospital to see a friend or something, then id be quite. .

its only conversation it wont kill you. you can always subtly let people know you dont want to talk anyways.

shane9689

what if a really hot girl/guy approached you with a big smile and massive personality?? and not some average person, im on about smoking here! would you soon turn away?
pfft, realistically doubtful...

magicianz

Not sure if OP is a troll or.....

You like making conversation with people, thats great, if someone I don't know engages in conversation with me I will talk to them, as I have done on many an occasion at bus stops. However when I've been working my ass off on projects, studying, in lectures all day, I may not be in the mood for idle chit chat with random strangers. People have other things on their minds and they're stressed. Hell these days I find it hard to follow conversations with my friends because my mind is going 90 on what I have done and what I need to do.

I wouldn't have commented on this normally, however the fact that you're calling people unfriendly and ignorant are wild accusations stemming from someone who either hasn't had much social interaction in the real world or is a troll. While paraphrasing heavily here, you have basically said in this thread that because people don't feel like talking to random strangers when they're finally finished college for the day, they are unfriendly and ignorant. You even get short responses from people and you still think them "unfriendly". Guess what? People give short responses with little room for follow up questions because they don't want to talk to you. Then you come online and insult not only those people, but the greater UCC population for being "unfriendly". There is only one ignorant person in here, and it isn't any of me.

Also with regards to "the Irish are a little ignorant in this regard. Be more social!!", what planet are you living on? Thanks to the things I am involved with in college, I have met people from around the world, America, Saudi Arabia, France, Italy, Germany, Japan, you name it I have probably met someone from that country or a neighbouring one. Nearly every single one of them said that the Irish are very welcoming and approachable compared to their own country. And the ones who didn't say that was probably because it didn't come up in conversation. Again, there is only one ignorant person in here, and it isn't any of me.

Ehrmantraut

Listen lad, if I've ever graced you with my presence but not my luscious voice at a bus stop it's because I simply don't want to and also because it's a bus stop which is where crazy people sometimes congregate.