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Question About Sex

  • 01-04-2013 2:54am
    #1
    username_here
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭


    Apologies if this isn't really appropriate but I have a question that I'm sure people here could help with. As someone who's going through the great emotional turmoil of orientation acceptance I'm just curious about male-male sex. Is it considered normal and expected that both partners should be penetrated by one another? I'm sure you can imagine this is quite an issue with a young male newbie such as myself... Thanks

    Also I'd just like to say that forums like this have been like goldmines for me. It's so nice to know that there are so many others who have experienced the exact same issues as myself and that there's more to homosexuality than the very in-your-face stereotype which seem to define gayness in a lot of people's minds. I'm sorry if that's offensive it's just that for a long time I thought the majority of gay people were the very open, camp ones with whom I felt I did not identify - which only pushed me deeper into the closet. But in actual fact it seems there is a massive amount of ordinary guys for whom their sexuality doesn't define them. It's nice to know as I used to worry that being gay would infect every aspect of my life.


Comments

  • #2
    Walker77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 93 ✭✭Walker77


    username_here wrote: »
    Apologies if this isn't really appropriate but I have a question that I'm sure people here could help with. As someone who's going through the great emotional turmoil of orientation acceptance I'm just curious about male-male sex. Is it considered normal and expected that both partners should be penetrated by one another? I'm sure you can imagine this is quite an issue with a young male newbie such as myself... Thanks

    Also I'd just like to say that forums like this have been like goldmines for me. It's so nice to know that there are so many others who have experienced the exact same issues as myself and that there's more to homosexuality than the very in-your-face stereotype which seem to define gayness in a lot of people's minds. I'm sorry if that's offensive it's just that for a long time I thought the majority of gay people were the very open, camp ones with whom I felt I did not identify - which only pushed me deeper into the closet. But in actual fact it seems there is a massive amount of ordinary guys for whom their sexuality doesn't define them. It's nice to know as I used to worry that being gay would infect every aspect of my life.

    Welcome to boards.ie


  • #3
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    It's normal for both to flip fcuk and penetrate each other as is just topping or bottoming only, though the later is more commonplace.

    It can be whatever you want it to be, if you're just comfortable with only penetrating or getting penetrated, but not both, then say that. It's not a bother and things will be far more enjoyable with you comfortable and relaxed with the situation.

    Likewise, if you want to try both, you can suggest it. If you're a bit nervous and inexperienced I can understand it could be kind of intimidating to take a bit of charge but everything will be far more enjoyable if you go with what you want to do.


  • #4
    Walker77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 93 ✭✭Walker77


    1ZRed wrote: »
    It's normal for both to flip fcuk and penetrate each other as is just topping or bottoming only, though the later is more commonplace.

    It can be whatever you want it to be, if you're just comfortable with only penetrating or getting penetrated, but not both, then say that. It's not a bother and things will be far more enjoyable with you comfortable and relaxed with the situation.

    Likewise, if you want to try both, you can suggest it. If you're a bit nervous and inexperienced I can understand it could be kind of intimidating to take a bit of charge but everything will be far more enjoyable if you go with what you want to do.

    And with who you want to do it with. I like it 1ZRed short and sweet.


  • #5
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    username_here wrote: »
    Is it considered normal and expected that both partners should be penetrated by one another?

    To be honest I wouldnt worry about what is considered normal or expected - just go with what you feel comfortable doing. (that includes not doing anal at all)

    http://gaylife.about.com/b/2008/04/12/myth-all-gay-men-enjoy-anal-sex.htm

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #6
    Azure_sky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,131 ✭✭✭Azure_sky


    Spectrum beats labels everytime, O.P.


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  • #7
    TheGilch13
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14 ✭TheGilch13


    Its wierd that this got asked as I was thinking about it too. I'm in a similar position (a newbie) I haven't come out yet to my nearest and dearest with a few exceptions. TBH I wouldn't be comfortable being a "bottom" but had thought that this could be a problem for my sex-life in the future (haven't even kissed another guy yet lol :D ).
    I had always thought that both partners would have to be penetrated but I guess it might not be as commonplace as I might have thought. Its comforting to see other guys asking the same questions. :)


  • #8
    oisindoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 899 ✭✭✭oisindoyle


    Children ,listen PLEASE listen.
    Firstly,just because someone is gay doesn't mean they HAVE to have penetrative sex.
    Secondly,many many gay couples who are in long term relationships do not engage in anal sex.
    Thirdly,NEVER feel pressured into doing something you do not want to .
    Forthly,if you are going to have sex with someone/anyone ,ALWAYS play safe
    End of lesson :)


  • #9
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,824 ✭✭✭floggg


    oisindoyle wrote: »
    Children ,listen PLEASE listen.
    Firstly,just because someone is gay doesn't mean they HAVE to have penetrative sex.
    Secondly,many many gay couples who are in long term relationships do not engage in anal sex.
    Thirdly,NEVER feel pressured into doing something you do not want to .
    Forthly,if you are going to have sex with someone/anyone ,ALWAYS play safe
    End of lesson :)

    Mmmm, was the condescension intentional?

    Op, go with whatever is comfortable. Everybody has different tastes, and you don't have to do anything you'e not comfortable with.

    I would suggest try everything once just to see what you like. It might take you a while to figure out exactly what is and is not for you (it did for me anyway).

    Also, i think using phrases like "get penetrated" might make it sounds scary than it needs to be, It's not all as gruesome as that might make it sound. Some people love to bottom, some people don't. It's kind of something you need to experience to truly appreciate.


  • #10
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    floggg wrote: »
    Mmmm, was the condescension intentional?

    Op, go with whatever is comfortable. Everybody has different tastes, and you don't have to do anything you'e not comfortable with.

    I would suggest try everything once just to see what you like. It might take you a while to figure out exactly what is and is not for you (it did for me anyway).

    Also, i think using phrases like "get penetrated" might make it sounds scary than it needs to be, It's not all as gruesome as that might make it sound. Some people love to bottom, some people don't. It's kind of something you need to experience to truly appreciate.

    I agree. Getting Piledrived sounds much more inviting :P


  • #11
    oisindoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 899 ✭✭✭oisindoyle


    floggg wrote: »
    Mmmm, was the condescension intentional?

    Try "sense of humour"


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  • #12
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,824 ✭✭✭floggg


    oisindoyle wrote: »
    floggg wrote: »
    Mmmm, was the condescension intentional?

    Try "sense of humour"

    The "sense of humour" retort only works where something funny is actually said.


  • #13
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Ok - can we stay on topic please

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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