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Seeking advice

  • 01-04-2013 8:08pm
    #1
    sound out
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    Hi all,

    I'm looking for a bit of advice. I'm not going to post a long thread giving details of experiences etc. because to be quite honest I've none, merely just feelings.

    At the minute I'm coming to terms that I may possibly be gay. What makes me think this? The biggest thing is that I think I've feelings for a friend. He is gay but I don't expect he thinks I could be. He has been a very good friend to me and I don't want to spoil that. If I thought I would I'd stay quiet about it.

    Lately however I feel a sort of awkwardness between us - maybe it's just me though. An awkwardness in the sense that maybe he feels the same. The more I type in this post the dafter I'm beginning to sound so I'll leave it at that!

    Genuine advise only please.


Comments

  • #2
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,824 ✭✭✭floggg


    sound out wrote: »
    Hi all,

    I'm looking for a bit of advice. I'm not going to post a long thread giving details of experiences etc. because to be quite honest I've none, merely just feelings.

    At the minute I'm coming to terms that I may possibly be gay. What makes me think this? The biggest thing is that I think I've feelings for a friend. He is gay but I don't expect he thinks I could be. He has been a very good friend to me and I don't want to spoil that. If I thought I would I'd stay quiet about it.

    Lately however I feel a sort of awkwardness between us - maybe it's just me though. An awkwardness in the sense that maybe he feels the same. The more I type in this post the dafter I'm beginning to sound so I'll leave it at that!

    Genuine advise only please.

    OP, its hard to give much advice when you give so little info.

    What exactly do you think you feel for him? Is it emotional or physical? Is he the only guy you've ever thought of like this?

    Ultimately only you can tell but if you gave a bit more info we could try to give some perspective on this.


  • #3
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    sound out wrote: »
    Hi all,

    I'm looking for a bit of advice. I'm not going to post a long thread giving details of experiences etc. because to be quite honest I've none, merely just feelings.

    At the minute I'm coming to terms that I may possibly be gay. What makes me think this? The biggest thing is that I think I've feelings for a friend. He is gay but I don't expect he thinks I could be. He has been a very good friend to me and I don't want to spoil that. If I thought I would I'd stay quiet about it.

    Lately however I feel a sort of awkwardness between us - maybe it's just me though. An awkwardness in the sense that maybe he feels the same. The more I type in this post the dafter I'm beginning to sound so I'll leave it at that!

    Genuine advise only please.

    To be blunt, is it just feelings in an emotional way or is it sexual and something you could get aroused by? I know myself as a gay guy (once I identified more on that side) that I've had one or two experiences where I got feelings for the girl but it was more an attraction to that person, rather than a sexual attraction.

    I've even heard stories of gay guys even falling in love with some of their close female friends, but it was an emotion attraction and not a sexual one. They were still gay and couldn't get aroused from it.

    Something similar could be happening here with you. Even then it doesn't mean you jump from being straight to gay all at once, you could be inbetween somewhere, if there at all.

    You're the only one that can make that call though as you'd know you're sexuality better than anyone.

    And on the awkwardness, I think he hasn't a clue you know, it's just that you're worrying about keeping this to yourself and afraid that somehow he automatically must know too, which is impossible for him to know.
    I wouldn't worry about it and would try to relax to get things feeling more normal between ye.


  • #4
    SolarFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 109 ✭✭SolarFlash


    I really don't know how anyone over the age of 10 can still not be 100% certain of their sexuality. Do you not get erections or do you ever ****? Seriously whats going on?


  • #5
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    SolarFlash wrote: »
    I really don't know how anyone over the age of 10 can still not be 100% of their sexuality. Do you not get erections or do you ever ****? Seriously whats going on?

    My sexuality shifted majorly around 14/15 where I went from being largely straight to more bisexual and then gay.

    It's different for everyone and sexuality is still fluid to varying degrees for many people throughout their lives.


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