Age anxiety

LegacyUser

Hi, going anon for this. Just out of the way life has went I came out late (aged 23 - and I realise many many people come out later) but not to family. Now I'm 25 and still just not that experienced. I am so outgoing just never "outgoing" to the right places as I was so caught up with life which is filled with heterosexuals!

I feel like I just missed the boat and now if I jump in I have worries that people will think I'm weird for lack of experience at my age.

Please tell me I'm crazy.

floggg

Concernedage wrote: »

Hi, going anon for this. Just out of the way life has went I came out late (aged 23 - and I realise many many people come out later) but not to family. Now I'm 25 and still just not that experienced. I am so outgoing just never "outgoing" to the right places as I was so caught up with life which is filled with heterosexuals!

I feel like I just missed the boat and now if I jump in I have worries that people will think I'm weird for lack of experience at my age.

Please tell me I'm crazy.

You're crazy.

I'm came at at 26. Meet my first boyfriend at 28. It was never an issue (apart from in my own head).

You're still practically a babe! Get out there and make the most of you're youth.

Rick_

Seconded. I'm 28 and have had limited experience with guys.

Like floggg says, it's only an issue in your own head. Most others couldn't care less and some would even find it an attractive thing that you aren't someone who's been and done it all!

paulmorro

Thirded!

Came out to myself at 27. The whole "came out well after college" thing is good for around two minutes of conversation and then nobody gives a flying. Get yourself out there and you'll meet people in the same way as on the straight scene.

NPH

Fourthed!

I rarely post but feel compelled to respond here.

I only accepted things a few years back (I'm 26 now) and initially went through the whole 'missed the boat' and 'would've been easier/better if I came out in or before college' thing. But then I realised that I couldn't change the past and that I should just go out and embrace the future.
After meeting more gay people I realised that everyone's journey was different, some came out earlier and had an awful time. Some came out later and were loving the novelty of the scene in their late 20's and older. And everything in between.

For me, there was something that prevented me from coming out until I was in my 20s. Maybe it was fear or maturity or confidence or a combination of these reasons and more. Whatever the case, I decided not to let these things hold me back any more. I knew I was ready to move forward with my life.
I am now in a position where I am very happy with my life and excited about the future.

I would say two things to the OP.
Firstly, don't worry about being too old or 'missing the boat'. You are still very young. I had absolutely no gay experience before I was well into my 20s, but as soon as I accepted the way things were and stopped allowing these thoughts to hold me back, I started to really enjoy my life and I've been having a wonderful time. Maybe you were not ready before now, maybe something was holding you back who knows. Hopefully, you have come to a point now where you can embrace the future.
Secondly, about having few gay friends, this was a concern for me too and I initially felt that I had missed the chance to be part of this community. This is definitely not the case. There are plenty of groups and meet-ups, like the ones on this forum, where you will be completely welcomed and I am sure you will, as I did, meet loads of people who came out at different ages with different experiences.

The point is, there is no right age, or right way or right time. There's now and there's the rest of your life.
If you can learn from the past without letting it hold you back, you've a wonderful future ahead of you.

SolarFlash

since you've gone this long without sex my advice would be don't bother with it now at this stage. It's over-rated anyway. Put all that stored sexual energy into something creative.

oisindoyle

Yup ,you're crazy.:)

Everything happens for a reason.You are still young ,you're whole life is ahead of you ,a new exciting one at that.

You are now starting a a new road of being the REAL you ,congrats,enjoy it.

When and if you meet someone for a "bit of fun ",you will know what to do, don't worry
Stop putting too much pressure on yourself and live life to the full
Lots and lots of guys have come out much later than yourself.

noelnoblett

I'm only 25 and am with my partner for over years. I had little experiance of the scene beforehand and now and also feel to a certain extent that I am missing out. I think we just need to find a group that suit or likes and interests.

Every think of going any of the social or sports groups that are out there?