Can an alcoholic ever be a social drinker?

GD88

Hello, I am a 25 year old man who is currently battling alcoholism, including the usual patterns of binge drinking, strong and regular cravings for drink and of course neglecting other areas of my life (including my health) as a result of my heavy drinking. I am wondering if an alcoholic can become a social drinker given enough time and effort, or is complete abstinence the only solution in order to avoid a relapse? Whether you choose either of those two options, I would appreciate into detail as to which one is the better option.

Thank you for your help.

Sunnyisland

Have to be careful of the charter here in trying to give my opinion and that's all it would be... so

I think it's so important to recognize that the decision to stop drinking entirely, at least for an addicted drinker, is a difficult one and one that requires more self-honesty than we even know we need. I *thought* I was being honest with myself in the beginning, but I can see now that I held something back - something for Alcohol.

For many of us, it takes lots of bumps in the road before we are finally ready fully and completely accept the truth - that we cannot ever drink safely...ever. A bitter pill for me, that one. BUT...looking back, I am just grateful that I finally saw the truth, the full truth and nothing but the truth.


Each and everyone of us knows deep within who and what we ourselves are, if we are able to moderate we know and if we are an alcoholic we DO know .... but for a long time we usually deny this to ourselves first and everyone else thereafter ....

I also have relatives and friends who open wine, beer etc and have one .... they don't finish the bottle and that is an anathema to me ..... what is alcohol for if not to get drunk .... If you feel this way it will be hard to moderate I also 100%. think that the only way anybody can moderate is if you haven't already sunk deep into the ''alkie-hole''.

So in your case OP I would 100% be going for abstinence, good luck.

Jimmy Garlic

GD88 wrote: »

Hello, I am a 25 year old man who is currently battling alcoholism, including the usual patterns of binge drinking, strong and regular cravings for drink and of course neglecting other areas of my life (including my health) as a result of my heavy drinking. I am wondering if an alcoholic can become a social drinker given enough time and effort, or is complete abstinence the only solution in order to avoid a relapse? Whether you choose either of those two options, I would appreciate into detail as to which one is the better option.

Thank you for your help.

Doesn't work. You have a weakness for alcohol and always will have. You may think that you can drink moderately in social situations but the reality is every drink you take will lower your inhibition to have another one, it is a vicious cycle. Give it up entirely and don't put yourself in situations where drink is flowing. Your life will improve immensely, it will be like the difference between night and day.

GD88

realies wrote: »

Have to be careful of the charter here in trying to give my opinion and that's all it would be... so

I think it's so important to recognize that the decision to stop drinking entirely, at least for an addicted drinker, is a difficult one and one that requires more self-honesty than we even know we need. I *thought* I was being honest with myself in the beginning, but I can see now that I held something back - something for Alcohol.

For many of us, it takes lots of bumps in the road before we are finally ready fully and completely accept the truth - that we cannot ever drink safely...ever. A bitter pill for me, that one. BUT...looking back, I am just grateful that I finally saw the truth, the full truth and nothing but the truth.


Each and everyone of us knows deep within who and what we ourselves are, if we are able to moderate we know and if we are an alcoholic we DO know .... but for a long time we usually deny this to ourselves first and everyone else thereafter ....

I also have relatives and friends who open wine, beer etc and have one .... they don't finish the bottle and that is an anathema to me ..... what is alcohol for if not to get drunk .... If you feel this way it will be hard to moderate I also 100%. think that the only way anybody can moderate is if you haven't already sunk deep into the ''alkie-hole''.

So in your case OP I would 100% be going for abstinence, good luck.

Actually, that is me in a nutshell, I over drink to get drunk. I'd never have a beer or glass of wine with dinner, hell I wouldn't even have just a few drinks to relax. Every time I drink it is to become flat out drunk. Sometimes I even buy 4 cans just to relax and sit back. However, I end up going to the shop to buy another 6-8 cans on top of that just to get as drunk as I feel I need to achieve a descent buzz. I just thought that with enough help and time that I could possibly beat alcohol addiction and become a moderate drinker with time, however I will take your advice on board.

GD88

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

Doesn't work. You have a weakness for alcohol and always will have. You may think that you can drink moderately in social situations but the reality is every drink you take will lower your inhibition to have another one, it is a vicious cycle. Give it up entirely and don't put yourself in situations where drink is flowing. Your life will improve immensely, it will be like the difference between night and day.

I see, however I'm worried as to whether or not these cravings will be permanent. Do they ever go completely, and if so what time frame would we be talking about here - or are cravings for alcohol permanent?

mathepac

GD88 wrote: »

Hello, I am a 25 year old man who is currently battling alcoholism ...

Maybe it might be better to admit that the alcoholism is the victor in the drinking phase of your life and move on without alcohol. I know this became a turning point for friends who could then turn those wasted energies to better use.

GD88 wrote: »

... I am wondering if an alcoholic can become a social drinker given enough time and effort, or is complete abstinence the only solution in order to avoid a relapse? ...

Most of the programmes that I am familiar with don't demand complete abstinence i.e. stopping drinking forever, they only suggest you stop drinking for today, which is relatively easy when compared to a life-time battle.

GD88 wrote: »

... Whether you choose either of those two options, I would appreciate into detail as to which one is the better option....

I don't think it's appropriate for me to be prescriptive about your life or options. Maybe you could describe for yourself what your ideal life would be and see if drinking has had an effect in the past and whether you believe it could have in the future.

Remember that diabetics must exercise daily vigilance over diet, medication and lifestyle, including acohol intake, in order to stay healthy. Do you think you deserve less?

endacl

GD88 wrote: »

Actually, that is me in a nutshell, I over drink to get drunk. I'd never have a beer or glass of wine with dinner, hell I wouldn't even have just a few drinks to relax. Every time I drink it is to become flat out drunk. Sometimes I even buy 4 cans just to relax and sit back. However, I end up going to the shop to buy another 6-8 cans on top of that just to get as drunk as I feel I need to achieve a descent buzz.

That answers your thread title in a nutshell OP. You're not a social drinker now. Why do you imagine you'd be one in the future?

solas111

Alcoholism is an illness which affects the mind and body of an alcoholic and once a person develops this condition it cannot be cured or reversed. Therefore, such a person could stay sober for many years but if he then took one drink he would be right back to where he left off years before. Social drinking is not an option for an alcoholic and the only choice is whether to quit drinking or to watch the drinking become progressively worse, often ending in insanity or death.

The physical aspect of alcoholism is an abnormal reaction to alcohol that occurs in the body of an alcoholic. This results in an inability to break down alcohol completely within the body as would happen with a normal or social drinker. A certain level of a chemical called acetone remains in the system and it is thought that the presence of this chemical causes a strong craving for more alcohol to develop in the body when one drink is taken. The only way to satisfy the craving is to take another drink and this increases the craving still further. Binge drinking is an attempt to satisfy this craving in the body but it cannot be satisfied. A normal drinker does not develop this craving and can therefore stop at will.

The craving for more cannot develop if the first drink can be avoided. Therefore, the solution to the problem is to stop taking the first one. The problem is that there is also a mental aspect to alcoholism and this consists of an obsession of the mind which drives an alcoholic to take the first drink. An obsession is an idea that is stronger than all other ideas and therefore willpower alone is not sufficient to overcome the urge to drink. Between binges you may be using your willpower and you may even make promises to yourself and to other people that you will not drink again. However, sooner or later the obsession of the mind for alcohol will become so strong that it will overcome your willpower. Alcoholism is a progressive illness and for a binge drinker the time between the binges will become shorter and the quantity of alcohol taken during each binge will gradually increase.

Your first problem is that you are battling alcoholism and therefore you are fighting a battle that you probably cannot win. Your second problem may be (and I am only making assumptions here) is that you do not have the knowledge and support that you need in order to recover from alcoholism. Countless people have recovered from the condition and have gone on to lead happy and fulfilling lives but very few have done it on their own. It is almost certain that you will require outside help if you are to succeed. There are several avenues open to you and I would urge you to follow through with one of them. You can talk to your G.P. and ask for help in that way. Detoxing from heavy drinking can be dangerous and should be done under medical supervision. It is sometimes desirable but not always necessary to spend a period of time at a treatment centre if the condition is very bad. However, whatever path you choose to follow you are likely to eventually enter the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous if you are serious about recovery.

You could save yourself a lot of grief by looking up AA meetings for your area and going along to one as soon as possible. If you are alcoholic you cannot use alcohol safely at all. However, you only have to stay sober for TODAY.

Jimmy Garlic

GD88 wrote: »

I see, however I'm worried as to whether or not these cravings will be permanent. Do they ever go completely, and if so what time frame would we be talking about here - or are cravings for alcohol permanent?

The cravings aren't permanent. Once you give up drinking you will find that the cravings diminish over time. The time frame differs from person to person but you should notice a difference after a month. You will find that you don't think about it as much and as your life and health improve you will not want to go back to the misery of drinking. It is not worth it, there is nothing to be gained, as you well know. There is no middle ground, an alcoholic can't drink moderately.

I wish you the best of luck. I can guarantee that your situation will improve when you give up drinking.

ron jambo

GD88 wrote: »

Hello, I am a 25 year old man who is currently battling alcoholism, including the usual patterns of binge drinking, strong and regular cravings for drink and of course neglecting other areas of my life (including my health) as a result of my heavy drinking. I am wondering if an alcoholic can become a social drinker given enough time and effort, or is complete abstinence the only solution in order to avoid a relapse? Whether you choose either of those two options, I would appreciate into detail as to which one is the better option.

Thank you for your help.

No matter what the age, if your thinking that way,you allready know the answer. You d'ont do half measure, you might for awhile,but you're waiting for your next full one.

ifeelstupid

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

The cravings aren't permanent. Once you give up drinking you will find that the cravings diminish over time. The time frame differs from person to person but you should notice a difference after a month. You will find that you don't think about it as much and as your life and health improve you will not want to go back to the misery of drinking. It is not worth it, there is nothing to be gained, as you well know. There is no middle ground, an alcoholic can't drink moderately.

I wish you the best of luck. I can guarantee that your situation will improve when you give up drinking.

For me, once I accepted that I could not drink like a "normal person" the cravings disappeared. I always drank for effect and couldn't understand how my friends could just have 1 or 2 and put the cork back in the bottle - I had to go for full duck or no dinner!!
Drink hasn't been part of my life for over 10 years now and it just doesn't enter the equation. I have no problem with other people enjoying a few and I have a very full life with plenty of craic without the booze - in fact I can't ever imagine contemplating going back to the way things were before. I had to get professional help and still use my support groups and have made the best of buddies there.
It was put very simply to me in the beginning when I was told by someone much wiser than me...
"if drink is causing problems in your life - then you have a drink problem!!"
I never drank normally before so why would it be any different if I tried to drink normally now......for me it's a no-brainer.

snollup

Hi OP,

Fair play to you for asking the question.

For me the answer is quite easily found. I just ask myself is it worth the risk. TBH I went through hell to get sober, there were plenty of slips along the way but I manage to keep getting back on the wagon. I've remained there for about 7 years now.

I quests it's natural to wonder but for the risks would be far to great. I've far too much to loose to chance it.

Best of luck.

Wattle

If you're anything like me OP then total abstinence is the only way.

xzanti

Alcohol doesn't change and neither does the drinker..

If you're an alcoholic now, then you will always be one. The only way you will free yourself from this is to accept that.

IMHO

PonyLuv

Hi GD88, I am a 25 year old girl who is currently going through the same thing as you. I have given up drinking and then started again on and off from about the age of 17. My longest time sober is 18 months, after which I moved county when I got a different job and thought like you that maybe enough time had passed and I could just become a sociable drinker. It just doesnt work. It may at the start but our disease is a subtle one and very very soon I found all the same problems occurring just like they had before just in a different place with other people. It is very very hard to quit. There have honestly been times when Ive said Id rather have cancer and I realise how awful and disrespectful that is but it is just how I have felt. For a long time now I have been gripping onto the corner of that towel hoping that someday I could live a life where alcohol and I could co exist without issues. The weak part of me adores alcohol but I have finally accepted that it cannot be a part of my life. Today I am one week sober.

Feel free to pm me if you need somebody to talk to and best of luck with your decision

Ando's Saggy Bottom

If you're an alocholic IMO you'll always have an "all or nothing" attitude to drink. You might manage to drink sociably once or twice at the start but eventually you'd cave and a couple of sociable ones would become oblivion again everytime you drank. You can't control it, it controls you.

In my opinion of course.

hubba

Another way to look at it is if you find yourself drinking too much, on a regular basis and you have underlying, unresolved issues then you will always have a problem, always have a yearning to reach for alchohol to forget your worries for a short while. For one night, this might work but it leads to more problems in the long term in relationships, finances etc and the underlying issues are still there.

Ideally it would be best to give yourself a chance to address these unresolved issues away from the fog and the physical and emotional highs and lows of drink. So in some cases its not actually the drink in itself that is the problem but the initial problem, be it anxiety, depression, low self esteem, abuse issues or physical health problems. Once you think you have a handle on this side of your life, then have a rethink about whether drinking again at all is right for you.

Not sure if any of that makes sense OP but best of luck with whatever you decide to do.