Would your profession be of any use if you were trapped on a desert island?

smash

iamanengine wrote: »

Lawyer.....yeah, I'd be eaten!

Na, lawyers are generally too fatty and bitter. We'd just use you for amusement.

Dance monkey boy!!!

crockholm

I would be of use as I could certainly house you,even without my tools, but would be like a spare pr1ck once i'm finished,opening up the possibility of being eaten. Think I'll just build my own fort and the rest of ye can shag off ( except for the blondie one with the big jugs,she can stay)

rain on

I'm a technical writer so if any of those programmers were on the island with me I could hassle them for raw documentation and criticise their terminology all day.

In my spare time I do MMA so I'm pretty sure I could kill everyone else on the island, if push came to shove.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

I'm pretty sure I would be alright.

YellowFeather

Great question! And one that makes me feel very bad about myself 'cause I'd be absolutely useless without a computer.

However, the multitasking skills I've developed would allow me to:

1. run from the people who want to eat me; while,
2. begging hysterically to be allowed to leave; in addition to,
3. firing seashells at my pursuers; and,
4. crying like a small child.

So I'm not completely useless after all!

1ZRed

I could build a fine shelter for myself, then starve in it.

On the plus side, I could draw myself some guuuud porn in my spare time

lintdrummer

I'm an aircraft engineer so it depends on whether we arrived by sea or air. I'd have a stab at fixing something either way!

1ZRed

shopaholic01 wrote: »

No, but I could make the sammidges. :P

You have permission to move into my shelter

I win, you win :P

smash

1ZRed wrote: »

You have permission to move into my shelter

I win, you win :P

You're ginger, therefor she loses! :pac:

1ZRed

smash wrote: »

You're ginger, therefor she loses! :pac:

Dafuq said I was ginger?!

Gay and ginger? If I was I'd have capped myself a loooooong time ago :pac:

smash

1ZRed wrote: »

Dafuq said I was ginger?!

Gay and ginger? If I was I'd have capped myself a loooooong time ago :pac:

Your username is a lie!!!

Mariasofia

As a blonde i should do ok with offers of shelter and vodka. Just to double my chances though, as a beauty therapist i could also wax the "others" to make them more palatable.;-)

Seachmall

rain on wrote: »

In my spare time I do MMA so I'm pretty sure I could kill everyone else on the island, if push came to shove.

You and Makikomi could fight for our entertainment.


Two coconuts says Makikomi wins in the second!

Capt'n Midnight

iamanengine wrote: »

Lawyer.....yeah, I'd be eaten!

no
you could swim to the mainland through shark infested waters.

and they won't attack, out of professional courtesy

Czarcasm

Mariasofia wrote: »

As a blonde i should do ok with offers of shelter and vodka. Just to double my chances though, as a beauty therapist i could also wax the "others" to make them more palatable.;-)

Benny Hill theme tune, please get out of my head! :pac:

Paramite Pie

I'm an English language teacher (TEFL) so if there were natives on this island I'd be able to teach them some English and communicate more effectively with them (so they'll share their food, knowledge of the wild and not kill us).

I'm also a good cook (as a hobby) so I'd manage some tasty meals from nothingness so I'd hopefully win over any other survivors.

darrcow

im a bisexual porn star so I could sort you all out

Czarcasm

Paramite Pie wrote: »

I'm an English language teacher (TEFL) so if there were natives on this island I'd be able to teach them some English and communicate more effectively with them (so they'll share their food, knowledge of the wild and not kill us).

I'm also a good cook (as a hobby) so I'd manage some tasty meals from nothingness so I'd hopefully win over any other survivors.

So you're offering to be first point of contact for the native cannibals?

Sounds good from where I'm standing... Well behind you! :pac:

mikemac1

Non stop cocktail parties

Nobody parties harder then accountants :cool:

Anyone who says different is boring and can't keep up

shopaholic01

smash wrote: »

You're ginger, therefor she loses! :pac:

Gingers are hawt!!!!

He's gay though, so I still lose.

mattjack

Onion farmer , dunno what you're going to do if dont like onions ... onion soup , sandwichs , shoes , clothes etc.Also known to work as an electrician / nearly have drugs counselling finished.

I'd probably die of an overdose or electric shock on the beach.

Ms. Pingui

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Gingers are hawt!!!!

But they have no souls!!! :eek:

shopaholic01

Ms. Pingui wrote: »

But they have no souls!!! :eek:

They should fare well on a desert island so.

Czarcasm

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Gingers are hawt!!!!

He's gay though, so I still lose.

Shop or darrcrow, I'm spoiled for choice!

schnitzelEater

Yes, very much so. Assuming I have a working computer...

schnitzelEater

1ZRed wrote: »

Dafuq said I was ginger?!

Gay and ginger? If I was I'd have capped myself a loooooong time ago :pac:

In fairness, you do sound ginger. An easy mistake to make.

shopaholic01

Czarcasm wrote: »

Shop or darrcrow, I'm spoiled for choice!

Pity we're not!

razorgil

mikemac1 wrote: »

Non stop cocktail parties

Nobody parties harder then accountants :cool:

Anyone who says different is boring and can't keep up

how did it go again......oh yeah....."what do accountants use as a contraceptive?,....... their personalities"!! (sorry, couldn't resist)

Standard Toaster

If anyone on the island was in dire need of a theatrical performance of suggesting action, character, or emotion without words, using only gesture, expression, and movement, I'm your man.

Denis322

As someone who's well used to sitting around doing absolutely nothing, I think I'd fare alright.

Jijsaw

If we need to translate things into Irish, French or German just call me

x Purple Pawprints x

I'm unemployed but I'm a qualified veterinary nurse so I would be of no use really.

razorgil

huh, where are they all now?, the people who laughed and said it was a waste of time going to magic college.......where are they now?!!

Denis322

x Purple Pawprints x wrote: »

I'm unemployed but I'm a qualified veterinary nurse so I would be of no use really.

To be fair you're the only one with medical experience, so you're probably one of the most valuable. Anyway, how different really is a dog from a human?

1ZRed

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Gingers are hawt!!!!

He's gay though, so I still lose.

You sayin I ain't hawt? -_-

Redhairedguy

Nope. My job would have absolutely no use if I was trapped on a desert island.

I worked in a kitchen for a spell, a few years ago, so that would probably stand me to me pretty well, as I descend into heat stroke induced loincloth wearing, and cannibalism.

Ms. Pingui

x Purple Pawprints x wrote: »

I'm unemployed but I'm a qualified veterinary nurse so I would be of no use really.

Any sort of medical knowledge would be pretty useful... you would be in the top half of the food chain.

As an accountant I could help create a tax haven.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Build a shelter above, below ground and up a tree - check.
Make a fire from raw materials - check.
Stalk, trap, kill, skin, gut, prep and cook wild animals - check.
Ability to use ground signs to locate fresh water source - check.
Ability to filter water - check
First aid for most basic injuries, sprains to open wounds - check.
Ability to navigate using natural nav, celestial or map/compass - check.
Ability to acurately tell time from using the shadow stick method - check.
Can make effective defensive / offensive weapons from various objects - check.
Ability to signal using smoke / shiny objects - check.
Camoflage and concealment of vital resources - Check.
Emergency planning - Check.


Nah..Id be fooked!

x Purple Pawprints x

Denis322 wrote: »

To be fair you're the only one with medical experience, so you're probably one of the most valuable. Anyway, how different really is a dog from a human?

True tbh. We're not that different to dogs or cats.  

Standard Toaster

Would I have access to helium?

bradyle

Mechanical Engineer...I could come in handy...don't eat me

shopaholic01

1ZRed wrote: »

You sayin I ain't hawt? -_-

You're smoking, Redzer.;)

Seachmall

Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

Build a shelter above, below ground and up a tree - check.
Make a fire from raw materials - check.
Stalk, trap, kill, skin, gut, prep and cook wild animals - check.
Ability to use ground signs to locate fresh water source - check.
Ability to filter water - check
First aid for most basic injuries, sprains to open wounds - check.
Ability to navigate using natural nav, celestial or map/compass - check.
Ability to acurately tell time from using the shadow stick method - check.
Can make effective defensive / offensive weapons from various objects - check.
Ability to signal using smoke / shiny objects - check.
Camoflage and concealment of vital resources - Check.
Emergency planning - Check.

Is your job title "Deserted Island Survival Specialist"?!

shopaholic01

Redhairedguy wrote: »

Nope. My job would have absolutely no use if I was trapped on a desert island.

I worked in a kitchen for a spell, a few years ago, so that would probably stand me to me pretty well, as I descend into heat stroke induced loincloth wearing, and cannibalism.

\o/ A ginger! :pac:

Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

Build a shelter above, below ground and up a tree - check.
Make a fire from raw materials - check.
Stalk, trap, kill, skin, gut, prep and cook wild animals - check.
Ability to use ground signs to locate fresh water source - check.
Ability to filter water - check
First aid for most basic injuries, sprains to open wounds - check.
Ability to navigate using natural nav, celestial or map/compass - check.
Ability to acurately tell time from using the shadow stick method - check.
Can make effective defensive / offensive weapons from various objects - check.
Ability to signal using smoke / shiny objects - check.
Camoflage and concealment of vital resources - Check.
Emergency planning - Check.


Nah..Id be fooked!

You'd be handy too. :P

Ms. Pingui

Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

Build a shelter above, below ground and up a tree - check.
Make a fire from raw materials - check.
Stalk, trap, kill, skin, gut, prep and cook wild animals - check.
Ability to use ground signs to locate fresh water source - check.
Ability to filter water - check
First aid for most basic injuries, sprains to open wounds - check.
Ability to navigate using natural nav, celestial or map/compass - check.
Ability to acurately tell time from using the shadow stick method - check.
Can make effective defensive / offensive weapons from various objects - check.
Ability to signal using smoke / shiny objects - check.
Camoflage and concealment of vital resources - Check.
Emergency planning - Check.


Nah..Id be fooked!

Drink own pisss- check

ahnowbrowncow

smash wrote: »

Your username is a lie!!!

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this guy has red hair

Redhairedguy wrote: »

Nope. My job would have absolutely no use if I was trapped on a desert island.

I worked in a kitchen for a spell, a few years ago, so that would probably stand me to me pretty well, as I descend into heat stroke induced loincloth wearing, and cannibalism.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Seachmall wrote: »

Is your job title "Deserted Island Survival Specialist"?!

Professional Discovery Channel watcher! :pac:

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You'd be handy too. :P

Heh

Ms. Pingui wrote: »

Drink own pisss- check

Well, that goes without saying!

Fr_Dougal

What desert is the island made of? Is it cheesecake?

shopaholic01

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

What desert is the island made of? Is it cheesecake?

You should have a few tips for coping with life on a remote island!