[COMPETITION] Win Tickets to Eddie Izzard at the O2 Thanks to Electric Ireland

cunchofbunts

I'm a gas man altogether........ except when I'm covered in BEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ

Sadderday

Gas had been excreted from my darling friend while stuck in a lift in the GASWORKS building a few weeks ago, no joke!!

Stuck in there for maybe 15 minutes, cracked one from the 6 pack we had and wallah!!, broke a nail trying to pull the lift door open for air... I was like Balboa..................'s wife.

Sadderday

Licka's's

Sadderday

Wait wait wait, I used the word GAS, but I have way funnier ones :

1) met a bloke in Whelans, gave him a kiss, wondered why he didnt call, friend reminded me that I was sucking his finger as he was trying to get away
2)pooed on Dublin bus, thought it was a fart, it was garlic potatoes I ate the night before. Can you imagine? had to buy new slacks?
3) Rang Dominos and ordered 30 pizzas instead of 13 at a party and did a burner
4)Locked my da out the back and put the alarm on and forgot about him until dinner time

I have more.... if it will increase my chances of winning I will unleash!

blaze1

If gas supplies are running low, force feed people beans.  Fossil fuel problem solved.

Twoandahalfmen

[font=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I went to the butchers the other day and i bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf[/font][font=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]And he said "No, the steaks are to high[/font]

roryj123

The atmosphere at Eddie Izzard will be Electric Ireland.

simon0brien

Will there be much circumcision at the show?

ShagNastii

"We run the gas off the electricity and the electricity off the gas and we save two hundred pounds a year, but then a few weeks later ah God, I'll never forget it now, we got a new boiler..."

Fr. Purcell p.p

Would love the tickets am a big fan.

lifeandtimes

Here is a gas story for you.

 

A few years ago my friends and I got wind that a mate of ours was signed up to a certain social network site that was renowned for people just looking to hook up with each other.

Seeing this as an opportunity not to be missed we decided to play a prank on him. 

We scoured the internet for pictures a reasonable looking girl to set up our own profile using her pictures (all innocent of course), we found some and set up the page under Rachel, made her out to be around our age and from our area, it looked really legitimate and then went looking for our mate.

 

We found him and got chatting to him, pretending to talk about girly things and such, we knew we were all heading out that weekend and started to drop hints about it to him as well saying that she would be out and that we should meet up, we started asking questions like does he have any good looking friends for her mates and out mate replied" no I don’t sorry, well one of them is good looking, I’ll bring him"...startled we all looked at each other and wonder 1. Who was the good looking one and 2.Why did he think one of us was good looking?

 

Anyway we got him to forward his number and that we would meet him in a certain club.

 

We went out that night all to the pub and were watching our mate all night as he constantly checked his phone and half way through the night he asked one of our friends if he was bored and wanted to hit this club.

 

Sneakily we asked him where he was going and he said “oh this is boring, me and (mate) are going to go to this club"

 

And we said "oh you aren’t going to meet Rachel are you?" and he replied “how do you know about her"

 

We all burst out laughing in the middle of the pub saying that we were Rachel and that he though our other mate was good looking.

 
He was quite embarrassed to say the least

 

True story

did you hear the latest???Mick Hucknell has just been arrested for having sex with a rabbit! when caught he was "holding back the ears" and when questioned in custody he said " the bunny's too tight to mention"

kcools

When we got our last gas bill in, the missus asked me to check the meter. It was spot on. 100 centimetres exactly.

hardwood

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent... stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

long_b

"[font=georgia, serif]I have a belt that holds up my pants. But my pants have loops that hold up the belt. What's really going on down there? Who is the real hero?"[/font]


[font=georgia, serif]Mitch Hedberg RIP[/font]

biko

I've no joke, I just want hear Eddie's jokes..

hots

Once I wanted some tickets... then I won those tickets.


I also had wind.

leroypatches

Confucius say “Man who fart in Church sit in own pew.”

bowsie

Electric Ireland: David wrote: »

Hi everyone,

The laugh-out-loud comic legend that is Eddie Izzard lands his mammoth Force Majeure world tour in Ireland on May 26th, at the O2.




It's sure to be a gas show, and we're giving away a pair of tickets to one lucky boards member as part of this month's competition.

Speaking of gas (yes yes, you may roll your eyes) we're now sponsoring the show of another gas man - the one and only Graham Norton. Why all this focus on gas? Well, to remind customers that we supply it of course!

To enter the competition for Eddie Izzard tickets, we're not going to ask you to sign up to one of our dual-fuel price plans (though you can if you want ); instead we'd like you to comment below with a little gas story of your own. And if you can't think of anything, a good-old one-liner will do (but keep it clean!).

Terms and conditions are here, and the competition is open until next Tuesday afternoon. The winner will be announced at about 2pm.

Best of luck!

David

Dyslexic walks into a bra...

whadafook

I farted

whadafook

I farted

sausages79

Two elephants walk off a cliff........

BOOM BOOM

:-)

TheWraith

I don't have anything to say, I just really want those tickets... gas.

murphyaii

it wood bee gas if gas wur free

Sadderday

soooooo................. who won????

Cos my heads wrecked wondering, don't leave us waiting it's ghastly

Electric Ireland: David

Hi Sadderday, as per my original post the winner will be announced at about 2pm, so not long to go now.

Best of luck,

David

Sadderday

with the rising cost of gas... Chuck Norris is starting to worry about his drinking habit

Sadderday

exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadderday

Hey David,


Did yaz pick a winner???

Electric Ireland: David

Apologies for the delay!

So here goes... **drumroll** And the winner is...

Mad Benny with this post (chosen by random.org).

Congratulations Mad Benny - we hope you have a gas time at Eddie Izzard!

Sadderday

Fair Play