DILEMMA: gay in the changing room

mikom

Nothing gets me harder than damp veruca floors.

Lingua Franca

Jarrod wrote: »

I think it should just be one changing room for everyone. There's no reason to separate genders in changing rooms.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/7906407.stm

Dude was a solicitor, his defences included "It was in a public place" and "She was wearing a bikini".

El Inho

One of those things that as a straight guy in no way bothers me. I hate homophobia, but this is actually something that occured to me one day and I would be sympathetic towards the straight person who feels uncomfortable...strange one this.

Cool_CM

Jarrod wrote: »

I think it should just be one changing room for everyone. There's no reason to separate genders in changing rooms.

Ah yes, but you are forgetting that apparently everybody in the modern age is a sex fiend/paedophile...

darced

This post has been deleted.

Ranicand

The thing about gays however is they have the same equipment as all other men so everybody in the changing room is the same in that regard.

Men and women should never share a changing room.

Most will not admit it there is no such thing as gay or straight the lines are blur.

A man who calls himself gay may like men 99% of the time but a woman with a soapy sponge in the shower will turn many a gay head.

Same goes for straight men like Al Murray said never confused.:D

WayneMolloy

HondaSami wrote: »

I can think of several reasons.

One large open plan changing room with dozens of small changing cubicles works best imho. Everyone has their own personal private space, it caters to a parent with young daughters/sons and nobody is left feeling awkward.

I am usually too busy showering, or drying, or dressing, to actually notice if anyone is actually checking me out. If they do, <shrugs>.

Though there is only one way to know if someone is gay -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CR5x3BAelk

newport2

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

As a gay myself, it makes me a little paranoid. I know a lot of people in my gym and I've never hidden the fact I'm gay. We probably 'notice' other guys bodies in a way a straight guy might not, but i don't want anyone to think I'm checking them out and even though I feel silly about overthinking it, I avoid going back to change with guys I am friends with

I'm sure your friends don't think you're checking them out. Sure if you were, it would stick out a mile....

laoch na mona

i wouldn't mind the few times gays hit on me i was flattered

also straight lads will look at others lads just for an ould comparison

Guy:Incognito

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

If a lesbian was checking me out in a changing room I'd be flattered, tbh.

Me too.

Ranicand

Here is something you really don't want in the changing room.

NuckingFacker

"Checking you out" is ok. It's the pointing and giggling that comes across as rude.

holystungun9

I'm appalled by some of these posts. Break these barriers down and smash those back doors in!

Royal Legend

I was at a swimming pool years ago with mixed changing rooms and showers, obviously you kept your togs on taking a shower, but one Saturday afternoon, after taking my kids out of the pool, was in the communal shower and this woman, my guess in her 40's , pulled down the top of her bathing suit and started soaping her tits, right in front of me :eek: It appeared like she saw nothing wrong with it, luckily there were no kids showering at the time, that could have been awkward

newport2

In fairness, the only solution to have nobody checking out anyone else in changing rooms is

- One room for straight men
- One room for straight women
- One room for every gay man, with the possible option of sharing it with a gay woman.
- One room for every gay woman, with the possible option of sharing it with a gay man.

You'd need quite a few rooms. I think the easier solution is just get changed quickly

1ZRed

WayneMolloy wrote: »

Cue everyone chiming in that they wouldnt have a problem with it, people need to grow up etc.

When in reality a majority of people would be freaked the f*ck out by it.

This is so thick. This thread came up about a month or two ago.

Gay guys don't behave the same as a straight guy would in a changing room because we're so used to changing rooms that we can separate between an erotic situation and not. Some lad's soft dick isn't an erotic thing. A straight guy would instantly think 'sex' if in a woman's changing room as it'd be a totally new experience and sexual to him. Not for us.

I just want to get in and out of the showers quick and to go about my business. I don't get turned on because I'm nt thinking about sex because I'm so used to the environment as just a changing room, no big deal and nothing more to me.

I find it odd that a gay guy would consider a rethink of changing rooms. I suspect insecurity on both ends if a gay man or straight man is unwilling to share a changing room.

Cody Pomeray

1ZRed wrote: »

This is so thick. This thread came up about a month or two ago.

Gay guys don't behave the same as a straight guy would in a changing room because we're so used to changing rooms that we can separate between an erotic situation and not.

Lets go back to the example using women and straight men. Straight men can make also make the above mental separation around women - they are presumably no less capable of not drooling all over women getting changed. But:

(a) some might be a bit more pervy, and
(b) even if he is perfectly innocent, a woman doesn't know that. The very idea that he might be ogling her body can be enough to make many women uncomfortable.

The above scenarios also apply to gay men and straight men imo. As a gay guy, I *do* notice naked guys in the changing room or showering, just as a straight man would notice a naked woman doing the same. I keep my eyes down and try to avoid it, but the noticing, that mental flash where you think "he's attractive" or "he's not"...it happens. Short of having a labotomy, I'm not sure how that mental flash can be prevented. And the fact it happens can be enough to make everyone uncomfortable.

I find it odd that a gay guy would consider a rethink of changing rooms. I suspect insecurity on both ends if a gay man or straight man is unwilling to share a changing room.

I'm not insecure about it. i would be perfectly comfortable and practical about this if I didn't think straight guys think about it too. I don;t know if they do, but if they're not comfortable then that makes me uncomfortable too. it's sometimes enough to make me hang back when someone I vaguely know is using the changing room.

Wattle

I get naked in changing rooms regularly unashamedly and often. There could be gays there, straights or even kids and I'd be there soaping my balls. That's partly because I'm buffed and ripped. Big abs. F*ck off shoulders and biceps that could crack walnuts. I don't think people are checking me out in a gay way. Probably more in envy. Personally I don't care who sees my wang. It is a thing of beauty.

HondaSami

Wattle wrote: »

I get naked in changing rooms regularly unashamedly and often. There could be gays there, straights or even kids and I'd be there soaping my balls. That's partly because I'm buffed and ripped. Big abs. F*ck off shoulders and biceps that could crack walnuts. I don't think people are checking me out in a gay way. Probably more in envy. Personally I don't care who sees my wang. It is a thing of beauty.

Really? you have to pm me a pic. :P

JJayoo

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

What do other AHers think? With openly gay people on the loose in a gym or swimming pool near you, do changing rooms need a re-think?

Sexuality is bound by it's context. I could see a girl on a night out showing off some cleavage and find this hot, but I could see the same girl topless on a beach with her family and I wouldn't find it hot. I would assume it's the same way a gay guy would view a male body in a dressing room.

beks101

I think men check men out and women check women out regardless of sexuality.

Sometimes I've caught myself having a sneaky look in the changing rooms, sizing up the competition as it were. Some women are seriously fit, toned and hot, you can't help but look. Even if they're not, naked bodies are fascinating to pretty much everyone.

Or maybe I'm just a giant pervert

WayneMolloy

1ZRed wrote: »

I find it odd that a gay guy would consider a rethink of changing rooms. I suspect insecurity on both ends if a gay man or straight man is unwilling to share a changing room.

It has nothing to do with insecurity, or homophobia, or ignorance or whatever buzzword you want to throw around.

Most men do not feel comfortable getting changed in front of homosexuals. Most women would feel uncomfortable getting changed in front of men. This does not make them anti male or insecure.

JJayoo

beks101 wrote: »

I think men check men out and women check women out regardless of sexuality.

Sometimes I've caught myself having a sneaky look in the changing rooms, sizing up the competition as it were. Some women are seriously fit, toned and hot, you can't help but look. Even if they're not, naked bodies are fascinating to pretty much everyone.

Or maybe I'm just a giant pervert

I think you sound wonderful

WittyKitty1

I'm female and straight.. I'd have no issue with lesbians being in the changing room and it wouldn't even cross my mind that they might be looking at me.

What does bother me about female changing rooms is when women insist on walking around completely naked when there are clearly children in the changing area with their mothers... it's actually not that hard to wrap a towel around you.

Cody Pomeray

beks101 wrote: »

I think men check men out and women check women out regardless of sexuality.

Sometimes I've caught myself having a sneaky look in the changing rooms, sizing up the competition as it were. Some women are seriously fit, toned and hot, you can't help but look. Even if they're not, naked bodies are fascinating to pretty much everyone.

Or maybe I'm just a giant pervert

I think you're right. We are not machines, we probably all notice naked people, maybe even judge other people's bodies in the gym.

But put it this way. I have very little interest in seeing a woman naked, but I would feel uncomfortable about changing in the women's room because she doesn't know that, or she might think "is he checking me out?". Similarly I find my changing room about as sexual as a sheep eating a turnip, but it's uncomfortable for the same reason if the guys there don't know that.

Short of broadcasting the fact that "this doesn't turn me on you know", (which for sure means the person saying it is turned on), I'm not sure there's any way of getting around that.

Crasp

I think individual cubicles are the gold standard. As a regular, I have no desire to see fellow gym users parading around bollock naked without even a whisper of modesty or shame. You're comfortable in your skin, we get it, now please kindly cover up for everyone else's sake.

Ir shouldn't be a matter of straight or gay or whatever... I personally have no desire to see anyone naked in the changing rooms and I thus act accordingly by not swanning around.

kraggy

WayneMolloy wrote: »

Cue everyone chiming in that they wouldnt have a problem with it, people need to grow up etc.

When in reality a majority of people would be freaked the f*ck out by it.

Who or where is this majority that you speak of? I'd say you're way off.

kraggy

Crasp wrote: »

I think individual cubicles are the gold standard. As a regular, I have no desire to see fellow gym users parading around bollock naked without even a whisper of modesty or shame. You're comfortable in your skin, we get it, now please kindly cover up for everyone else's sake.

There have been individiual cubicles in an open plan unisex area in Leisureland in Galway for 20 years.

Annasopra

newport2 wrote: »

In fairness, the only solution to have nobody checking out anyone else in changing rooms is

- One room for straight men
- One room for straight women
- One room for every gay man, with the possible option of sharing it with a gay woman.
- One room for every gay woman, with the possible option of sharing it with a gay man.

You'd need quite a few rooms. I think the easier solution is just get changed quickly

What about bisexual people? and what about straight trans people and gay trans people?

Annasopra

1ZRed wrote: »

This is so thick. This thread came up about a month or two ago.

Gay guys don't behave the same as a straight guy would in a changing room because we're so used to changing rooms that we can separate between an erotic situation and not. Some lad's soft dick isn't an erotic thing. A straight guy would instantly think 'sex' if in a woman's changing room as it'd be a totally new experience and sexual to him. Not for us.

I just want to get in and out of the showers quick and to go about my business. I don't get turned on because I'm nt thinking about sex because I'm so used to the environment as just a changing room, no big deal and nothing more to me.

I find it odd that a gay guy would consider a rethink of changing rooms. I suspect insecurity on both ends if a gay man or straight man is unwilling to share a changing room.

THIS

BBDBB

and a changing room for exhibitionists who dont care who sees them nekkid , just as long as someone is looking

kraggy

mango salsa wrote: »

What about bisexual people? and what about straight trans people and gay trans people?

And if I'm out walking with Brendan my bisexual boxer and decide to go for a dip, where do dogs go?

WayneMolloy

kraggy wrote: »

There have been individiual cubicles in an open plan unisex area in Leisureland in Galway for 20 years.

You are ahead of the times. Ive never seen them here in Dublin.

baby and crumble

It wouldn't occur to me to check out girls in the changing rooms anywhere. I was in boarding school for years and tbh i rarely checked anyone out like that, if ever. I'm more worried about people looking at me! I'm much more likely to get flustered by the girl outside smiling at me or someone reading a book in a coffee shop ffs.

I am enjoying how few women seem to have an issue with lesbians checking them out though. I guess we're just not thought of as 'predatory gays', eh?

Annasopra

kraggy wrote: »

And if I'm out walking with Brendan my bisexual boxer and decide to go for a dip, where do dogs go?

On the path - where else would you walk your dog!

kraggy

mango salsa wrote: »

On the path - where else would you walk your dog!

Ha ha, touché like.

Wattle

WayneMolloy wrote: »

It has nothing to do with insecurity, or homophobia, or ignorance or whatever buzzword you want to throw around.

Most men do not feel comfortable getting changed in front of homosexuals. Most women would feel uncomfortable getting changed in front of men. This does not make them anti male or insecure.

Getting changed in front of homosexuals. Seriously what's the big deal? First of all they're unlikely to tell you that they're gay so how would you know? Secondly they're unlikely to try and seduce you in a busy changing room.

Phantasos

Okay, here's the real answer to your question:

You're overthinking things waaaay too much.

Use the gym like every other goddamn person uses the gym. Do your workout, go wash and change with everyone else. Don't be making an issue out of nothing.

kraggy

WayneMolloy wrote: »

You are ahead of the times. Ive never seen them here in Dublin.

"Yeah man, it's this place we go swimming, it's too obscure, you wouldn't have heard of it".

*crosses legs wearing skinny jeans

Annasopra

kraggy wrote: »

Ha ha, touché like.

Well you're hardly walking your dog at a gym or in the shower

Annasopra

Phantasos wrote: »

Okay, here's the real answer to your question:

You're overthinking things waaaay too much.

Use the gym like every other goddamn person uses the gym. Do your workout, go wash and change with everyone else. Don't be making an issue out of nothing.

This

/Thread

kraggy

mango salsa wrote: »

Well you're hardly walking your dog at a gym or in the shower

I said if I'm out walking and THEN decide to go for a swim in the local pool, which dressing room should Brendan get ready in.

Cody Pomeray

Phantasos wrote: »

Okay, here's the real answer to your question:

You're overthinking things waaaay too much.

Use the gym like every other goddamn person uses the gym. Do your workout, go wash and change with everyone else. Don't be making an issue out of nothing.

Yeah fair enough, I said I may be overthinking it. I'm second guessing what my acquaintances would be thinking getting changed or showered with a gay guy. i didn't claim this was a massive deal.... but I wouldn't necessarily blame them if they did find it weird.

BBDBB

Phantasos wrote: »

Okay, here's the real answer to your question:

You're overthinking things waaaay too much.

Use the gym like every other goddamn person uses the gym. Go once when you first join, feel intimidated and weedy, promise yourself to be self motivated but actually end up going twice more and regretting it the following day when you cant brush your teeth cos your arms wont bend after you tried to impress that cute girl in the lycra by overdoing the freeweights.

thats how everyone uses the gym

racso1975

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

First world problem alert.

Male and female changing rooms exist so that nobody feels they are being seen naked in a sexual way by strangers.

Personally it doesn't bother me very much.

But I reckon a lot of guys would feel uncomfortable getting naked around guys who they think might be checking them out (body, physique, manhood). Ditto with lesbians.

As a gay myself, it makes me a little paranoid. I know a lot of people in my gym and I've never hidden the fact I'm gay. We probably 'notice' other guys bodies in a way a straight guy might not, but i don't want anyone to think I'm checking them out and even though I feel silly about overthinking it, I avoid going back to change with guys I am friends with

What do other AHers think? With openly gay people on the loose in a gym or swimming pool near you, do changing rooms need a re-think?

If your gay and in my gym then you BETTER be checking me the fuk out!!!! Yeah I am straight and got kids.....but still dont mind been looked upon as a piece of meat!!! Just dont start whacking off while i am actually there

Annasopra

kraggy wrote: »

I said if I'm out walking and THEN decide to go for a swim in the local pool, which dressing room should Brendan get ready in.

Why don't you ask your local pool?

humbert

I'm far more worried about what retinal scarring horrors I'll be exposed to in the gym changing room than who's looking at me. Though I have to admit changing in an Asian gym is a bit weird.

BBDBB

humbert wrote: »

I'm far more worried about what retinal scarring horrors I'll be exposed to in the gym changing room than who's looking at me. Though I have to admit changing in an Asian gym is a bit weird.

why? are you the only geisha in the village?

humbert

BBDBB wrote: »

[/B]



why? are you the only geisha in the village?

I'm the only white monkey person in the changing room and they're not shy about looking.