Be the bigger man or stand up for your principles?

Locomotion

At what point does trying to 'be the bigger man' mean you're just massively compromising your own principles to avoid conflict?

I'm asking this in a general sense but I'll give two examples:

1) Guy on a night out slagging your girlfriend. He's clearly looking for a fight. Do you walk away or do you stand and fight?

2) Idiot drunk guy you don't know too well starts slagging you off unprovoked. He's getting a few laughs from the crowd around and clearly not backing down, saying some very personal stuff. Do you walk away and 'refuse to drop to his childish level' or do you drop to his childish level and attempt to stick up for yourself?

smash

On both occasions, just ignore. It's that easy.

Frank Black

Usually I'll try to be the bigger man by only starting fights with smaller men.

Duggy747

Locomotion wrote: »

1) Guy on a night out slagging your girlfriend. He's clearly looking for a fight. Do you walk away or do you stand and fight?

I'd walk away.

My GF would probably fight him.

sfwcork

If you hit Gut #1 you might get sex for being cool or a mannnnnnnn

BillyMitchel

First one I'd prob just walk off, depends on how my GF reacted.

Second one I'd give him stick back and if he kept going on I'd knock his drunk ass out.

Schism

Are these random people? If yes.

1) Yes, walk away. I've no time for dopes like that.

2) Slag him back, it's not hard. Especially if he's drunk. Also a crowd of people egging him on would be unbelievably fickle and liable to turn on him in a moments notice.

If not

1) A friend wouldn't do that, moot point.

2) Slag him back :pac:

Mr. CooL ICE

Walk away. Unless youre a black belt in karate kwon doe jitsu

Reindeer

He would be wise to be far more wary of my GF.

thebigbiffo

Sometimes people deserve to be called out, and that's the case in both of these scenarios as far as i'm concerned.

but it does depend on whether that person looks like they'll kick seven shades from ya.

schnitzelEater

Nut him.

kylith

The best advise I ever saw is: When it's about you, walk away. When it's about someone else, stand your ground. I.e. Protect other people, but turn the other cheek when it's about you.

Both of the situations in the OP should be walked away from.

kunst nugget

How is getting into a fight with someone who is slagging you off standing up for your principles?

fishy fishy

I don't really get the question.

If some drunk is slagging you off or whatever, don't stoop to their level, just walk away. It has nothing to do with principals, it has everything to do with common sense.

unless of course your principals are to be as big an eejit as the drunk slagging you off - then by all means get in there and show your immaturity principals

SEPT 23 1989

Never turn down free violence

gobnaitolunacy

Throw a punch and you BOTH look like assholes to the bouncers and you both get fcuked outside.

Or, if the bollocks is a compo chaser, expect your wallet to be good deal lighter after a court case for assault.

RebelSoul

kunst nugget wrote: »

How is getting into a fight with someone who is slagging you off standing up for your principles?

If one of your principles is to always fight anyone who slags you off.:)

Legs.Eleven

With a few drinks on me, I'd find it impossible not to say anything.

daveyeh

Take the vicious piss out of him. If he's mouthing off to strangers looking for a fight, he's probably an idiot.

If he starts attacking you, cut his head off with a machete.

kunst nugget

RebelSoul wrote: »

If one of your principles is to always fight anyone who slags you off.:)

Yeah, I was going to add that in. It's like that statement you hear knuckle-dragging mouthbreathers come out with every so often: 'I won't start a fight but I won't walk away from one!' Usually said after consuming 15 pints of cider and getting het up about someone looking at them funny…

BGozIE

First one, if my gf was there to be upset or what ever I would defo be swinging, regardless of what he looks like. If she wasn't there prob just slag him/his gf

The other one, just prob slag him back, depends how bothered you are I suppose

castletownman

Do it the old fashioned way

"I sir challenge you to a duel"

Irishcrx

Wouldn't really be bothered if someone was slagging me off , I'd usually just give banter back , if it was personal I'd walk away but as said with a few drinks I'd probably find that harder.

If it was something serious and personal about my girlfriend or family and it was malicious I wouldn't walk away, at that point it would be to hell with all that bigger man stuff, brains over brawn , don't stoop to their level. If it was attacking people I care about I wouldn't be having it even if that ended up in a brawl you can be sure when it's finished their mouths would be shut.

fishy fishy

BGozIE wrote: »

First one, if my gf was there to be upset or what ever I would defo be swinging, regardless of what he looks like. If she wasn't there prob just slag him/his gf

The other one, just prob slag him back, depends how bothered you are I suppose

we've come out of the dark ages long enough. I'm sure your girlfriend would think more of you for walking away rather then trying to "defend" her because she was crying - women are strong creatures you know - stop making them out to be frail and vulnerable. To be honest, it will probably be the boyfriend that will draw the most amount of tears from the girlfriend over time. :D

kunst nugget

I've a feeling there's going to a fair amount of big man talk running through this thread…

ElChe32

kunst nugget wrote: »

I've a feeling there's going to a fair amount of big man talk running through this thread…

Oh yeah? C'mere a minute!

IM0

castletownman wrote: »

Do it the old fashioned way

"I sir challenge you to a duel"

and bring the dueling glove to hit him across the chops to demand satisfaction to start the ball rolling

Three Seasons

Would you be the "bigger man" and walk away if a 5 foot 2 6 stone man on his own was crudely insulting your girlfriend and alluding to his sexual prowess in satisfying her the previous night?

NothingMan

Was in a similar situation last weekend. Walked into a pub and a lad started asking me if I was into his mate, do I want to go home with him etc... Now this isn't a gay bar and these lads clearly weren't serious but I was sober and they were drunk.

I tried to have a laugh back and say things like "ah sure he's out of my league" etc... laughing it off but they kept persisting and were getting irritating so I just told them straight out "Look lads I can't tell if you're just having a laugh or being dickheads so I'll leave you to it" and turned my back. They let out a big "ooh sailor" type hoot and walked off.

Honestly I'd usually be merrily drunk too on a night out so I've no idea if I'd have handled it differently with a few drinks but I think I handled it well. Tried to have a laugh, when that failed just ignored them.

Saying that, walking down a street before and a beast of a guy reached for my gf. He didn't make contact or anything and I don't know if he was going for a grab or what but when I stopped and asked him what he was at my gf tried to shut me up and pull me away. Now I had no intention of fighting the guy but I couldn't let someone do anything to or even at my gf without saying something. She thought I was stupid, not manly however.

MadsL

ElChe32 wrote: »

Oh yeah? C'mere a minute!

Are yous staaaartin'?

strobe

kylith wrote: »

The best advise I ever saw is: When it's about you, walk away. When it's about someone else, stand your ground. I.e. Protect other people, but turn the other cheek when it's about you.

Both of the situations in the OP should be walked away from.

Doesn't your first paragraph contradict your second one there?

daveyeh

BGozIE wrote: »

First one, if my gf was there to be upset or what ever I would defo be swinging

Swinging? Thats bound to help.

gobnaitolunacy

castletownman wrote: »

Do it the old fashioned way

"I sir challenge you to a duel"

'Sir, I demand satisfaction' and then slap him in the face with your gauntlet.

daveyeh

NothingMan wrote: »

Was in a similar situation last weekend. Walked into a pub and a lad started asking me if I was into his mate, do I want to go home with him etc... Now this isn't a gay bar and these lads clearly weren't serious but I was sober and they were drunk.

I tried to have a laugh back and say things like "ah sure he's out of my league" etc... laughing it off but they kept persisting and were getting irritating so I just told them straight out "Look lads I can't tell if you're just having a laugh or being dickheads so I'll leave you to it" and turned my back. They let out a big "ooh sailor" type hoot and walked off.

Thinly veiled 'I am attractive to gays' post.

SEPT 23 1989

If we were out in a pub and someone started giving herself abuse and i sat there silently doing nothing about the situation

there would be big trouble when we got home i can tell you

kunst nugget

ElChe32 wrote: »

Oh yeah? C'mere a minute!

Ah, if ur only slaggin me off im not gettin down to ur level but if u talk about me grandma anemore Il stamp on yer bollix and make spagetti on toast out of what cums out of dem an I wont car wot size u r. ya big looser gobshid ya.

laoch na mona

hands up if its my gf
but it really depends on what they say I'd slag him back if it was just me but if he went to far i would hit him

IK09

When its about you - laugh it off, give it back, no problems

When its about the missus - look the missus directly in the eyes, and wait for her verdict.

Sarky

If being the bigger man is at odds with your principles, then you need to get better principles.

NothingMan

daveyeh wrote: »

Thinly veiled 'I am attractive to gays' post.

Hehe, I wish. Anytime I've been in a gay bar I haven't so much as gotten a wink and no one even tried to look at my junk in the toilet .

Culleeo

Locomotion wrote: »

1) Guy on a night out slagging your girlfriend.

2) Idiot drunk guy you don't know too well starts slagging you off unprovoked. He's getting a few laughs from the crowd around and clearly not backing down, saying some very personal stuff. Do you walk away and 'refuse to drop to his childish level' or do you drop to his childish level and attempt to stick up for yourself?

1) Dump her, she is obviously ugly if a random guy starts slagging her :P

2) Stick up for myself by slagging him off. I wouldn't punch him or anything but I wouldn't just stand there and take it.

ElChe32

kunst nugget wrote: »

Ah, if ur only slaggin me off im not gettin down to ur level but if u talk about me grandma anemore Il stamp on yer bollix and make spagetti on toast out of what cums out of dem an I wont car wot size u r. ya big looser gobshid ya.

DEMS FIGHTIN' WORDS!

smurgen

g'wannn ya moggggggg!

Chuck Stone

Walk away.

Assassinate a few years later.

Pug160

Locomotion wrote: »

At what point does trying to 'be the bigger man' mean you're just massively compromising your own principles to avoid conflict?

I'm asking this in a general sense but I'll give two examples:

1) Guy on a night out slagging your girlfriend. He's clearly looking for a fight. Do you walk away or do you stand and fight?

2) Idiot drunk guy you don't know too well starts slagging you off unprovoked. He's getting a few laughs from the crowd around and clearly not backing down, saying some very personal stuff. Do you walk away and 'refuse to drop to his childish level' or do you drop to his childish level and attempt to stick up for yourself?

In my experience those types of men pick on certain targets, and avoid others. It's not so much that they pick on weak looking men and avoid macho looking men, I think it's more about how you carry yourself.

BGozIE

daveyeh wrote: »

Swinging? Thats bound to help.

No it would...Being on a swing calms me down

Footoo

In both situations, call him a f***ing looooooser and tell him your dad works for KPMG.

Can't go wrong.

BillyMitchel

Footoo wrote: »

In both situations, call him a f***ing looooooser and tell him your dad works for KPMG.

Can't go wrong.

Pretty certain it can!!