work problem

LegacyUser

As the title says, I'm having some problems in work with my colleagues. I realised when I started there that there were some issues but I didn't know what it was and thought I had done something wrong and have been trying my best to do whatever I could to fit in but its a waste of time.
Obviously not knowing what the problem was made it difficult to try and fix but I offered to help out in every different way I could think, working Saturdays (I've worked the last 11 in a row) I fill in when another girl is sick (which is a lot) and I do the tasks they don't really want to do as I felt I needed to earn my place there.
This week I finally found out why they've been on my case and it turns out it's because I'm a single parent.

As such they see me as having an easy life, I only have to work 24 hours and come home with the same money they get for working 36 hours. I can't even assure them it wasn't planned strategy. I applied for both a part time and a full time position and was offered the part time one and was grateful to receive it. My daughter is 18 and in college, I don't receive childrens allowance but I retain a percentage of my lone parent allowance, (which would amount to the same as if I were signing for 3 days and working for 3) and will do for the next 12 months.
I have a local authority funded home that I've lived in for 13 years, my daughter was five when I was handed the keys, (it's a 2 bed very small cottage) prior to that I rented flats and apartments. I never received rent assistance, maintenance or scammed the system.
I've never had a partner.

All my colleagues are married and while both couples work in all cases, two don't own their own homes and I sense the resentment as they can't get their foot on the ladder.
Another colleague who started at the same time and who works 36 hours has gelled well with the girls and its as though they take it in turns to make my life difficult. When I come in she leaves the shop and I'm left to run the floor.

I decided I needed to talk to someone but was afraid to approach my boss so I text the most senior girl there and explained how I felt. She assured me my work was good and not to worry about the staff that they were all bitchy and we left it at that. The following day when I came into work and she was painting said girls nails and when she finished told her she could go home early. (3 hours early) She did this very clearly in front of me.

I felt suicidal when I got home and I contacted a counselling group online and booked in for next week. I'm still afraid to talk to my boss. I like my job and I don't want to lose it, I just want to get enough work to get my daughter through college and feel if I say nothing and keep my head down it will be ok. If I tell my boss I'm afraid he will just see me as a trouble maker and they will see me as a snitch and mark me for life. (I'm just a blow in and they've been there 17 years)

boobar

Your own personal circumstances are none of their business.

You sound like a good colleague but you shouldn't bend over backwards to get these guys on side.

Leave them with their own narrow views of how single parents have a handy life. It's not handy, anyone with a child single or not will tell you parenting is tough. I wouldn't want these guys as friends.

Stay focussed on your own job, stop doing favours for these guys. Bring home the money, forget them.

ladysarah

keep yr head down. well done for working and raising ye daughter. keep yr cards close to yr chest. do not tell them yr personal business. hold yr head up high and be proud of yrself.

LegacyUser

You sound like a nice lady who did not always have things easy.
I am sure that you were very happy to get a job even if the hours are part time.
When you started working here I am sure that you answered any questions they asked you.
They think you have an easy life due to the hours you work and the fact that you have a council house. I know that things were not always easy for you in the past 18 years and they have no idea of this.

I would tell your co workers I applied for both jobs here and was offered the part time role.
After this I would not be as helpful with them. I would not keep on working every Saturday so they can have this day off. Nor would I drop every thing to work the day the other woman rings in sick.
No one minds helping out co workers but it they are treating you this way why should you go on working all the Saturdays and doing the jobs they don't like.
I would also start to keep a written record of any thing they say or do to you from now on. If they continue to act like this I would go to your boss and let them know what has been happening.
Why should you put up with this from a crowd of bitchy woman.
Good Luck.

StillWaters

What awful colleagues. How do they know what your income is? It really is none of their business. If it were me, I would be looking for a new job. These people sound toxic.

Mrs OBumble

emptyinside wrote: »

This week I finally found out why they've been on my case and it turns out it's because I'm a single parent.

...
I only have to work 24 hours and come home with the same money they get for working 36 hours....


I felt suicidal when I got home and I contacted a counselling group online and booked in for next week. I'm still afraid to talk to my boss.

Most likely the problem is not so much that your a single parent as such, but the sheer unfairness of the tax and welfare systems. You get the same money, for doing 2/3 of the work.

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - that you can do about this. (Although there's something in the back of my mind about the budget changes saying that the right to keep lone-parents once you're woring is being phased out over time ... if it's true, then this may help, though it could see your income reducing.)

Your colleagues, however, are required to be polite to you while at work. If that's not happening, then you need to report the problems your manager, so they can sort them out - if you don't report it, you are actually enabling the colleagues to bully you.

There is nothing wrong with you being expected to work all the Saturday's or do the less-popular tasks: frankly that's often what companies employ part-time staff for. Hopefully a full time position (here or in another company) will open up soon.

If you have health problems which are being enhanced by your workplace situation (mental health or otherwise) then standard board.ie advice is to consult your GP or other registered medical professional.


Lastly, as others have said, getting a new job might be a very good idea. It's unlikely you can turn this situation around, and going in to a new job where your personal situation isn't so well know might be a good diea.

LegacyUser

I appreciate your responses. I did go to see a mental health professional today and will be taking some counselling over the next few weeks, it was just a relief to be able to talk to somebody. I understand the system might be deemed unfair but I didn't create it, I have contributed into the system as much as the next person over the years and as it is, as a part time employee it is much the same as if I were working three days and claiming assistance for the days I'm not which is not something which is specifically exclusive to single parents. I can't describe how hurtful this has been, life has been hard but I'm not naive enough to think it's any less tough than for anyone else or that I'm somehow entitled to more than others and I wouldn't begrudge anyone who has worked hard for what they have. I have considered walking away and have started looking at what else is available out there although for the moment my counselor has suggested to hang on and at least if I do find something in the meantime I can leave knowing I've done so in the best possible frame of mind. Thanks.

LegacyUser

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Most likely the problem is not so much that your a single parent as such, but the sheer unfairness of the tax and welfare systems. You get the same money, for doing 2/3 of the work.

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - that you can do about this. (Although there's something in the back of my mind about the budget changes saying that the right to keep lone-parents once you're woring is being phased out over time ... if it's true, then this may help, though it could see your income reducing.)

Your colleagues, however, are required to be polite to you while at work. If that's not happening, then you need to report the problems your manager, so they can sort them out - if you don't report it, you are actually enabling the colleagues to bully you.

There is nothing wrong with you being expected to work all the Saturday's or do the less-popular tasks: frankly that's often what companies employ part-time staff for. Hopefully a full time position (here or in another company) will open up soon.

If you have health problems which are being enhanced by your workplace situation (mental health or otherwise) then standard board.ie advice is to consult your GP or other registered medical professional.


Lastly, as others have said, getting a new job might be a very good idea. It's unlikely you can turn this situation around, and going in to a new job where your personal situation isn't so well know might be a good diea.

I just wanted to put some things into perspective. The ones who are dealing out the injustice card are both in long term relationships where both partners are working and both couples income between them is close to 1200 pw, they have no dependents and live in rented accommodation which costs 400 pm. In comparison I take home 360 pw as a single person with a dependent and my rent is 200 pm. It's not like I am living it up in the lap of luxury but that they feel the need to begrudge the little that I do have. I have lived a solitary life, I don't come home to anybody at the end of the day and I assure you if places where exchanged they would probably have a greater appreciation of what they do have and swiftly ask for it back.

Mrs OBumble

emptyinside wrote: »

I just wanted to put some things into perspective. The ones who are dealing out the injustice card are both in long term relationships where both partners are working and both couples income between them is close to 1200 pw, they have no dependents and live in rented accommodation which costs 400 pm. In comparison I take home 360 pw as a single person with a dependent and my rent is 200 pm. It's not like I am living it up in the lap of luxury but that they feel the need to begrudge the little that I do have. I have lived a solitary life, I don't come home to anybody at the end of the day and I assure you if places where exchanged they would probably have a greater appreciation of what they do have and swiftly ask for it back.

Indeed - I totally agree that there's a bigger picture, and I actually feel sympathy for your position.

But some people can't - or won't - see that.

And on the surface, there is an issue re the tax-breaks, which manifects in all sorts of unpleasant ways at different points in people's income levels. (eg my partner is treated as "living together" so ineligible for welfare purposes, but we're not married so treated as single for tax purposes - the next effect is that being "single" costs us E700 per month).

That said, I'm mightily impressed if a couple can find nice-enough private-sector rental accommodation for 400pcm.

And it's a little odd that you and your colleagues know so much about each other's personal financial circumstances. I know that (mis)information travels in small towns - but the next time you get a job, perhaps be a lot more vague about the details of your personal life - colleagues are workmates, not friends.

Bandana boy

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I know that (mis)information travels in small towns - but the next time you get a job, perhaps be a lot more vague about the details of your personal life - colleagues are workmates, not friends.

Was just thinking the same ,how would your colleagues know what your circumstances are if you have not told them.
I would keep very stum in future about what you earn and what you claim ,it is nobody else's bussiness.

LegacyUser

It's a small family run business. When I started I was the first to do so on a part time basis while in receipt of social assistance and my employer had to fill out a variety of forms. I was asked questions by my co workers as to how it works, how much I was permitted to earn and how much I would retain, I didn't realise it was going to be such an issue. My workmates are quite talkative and have no inhibitions about discussing their own personal situations. Insofar as those outgoings are concerned it was brought up as a subject when one of the girls was talking about how difficult it was for her and her partner to get a house , she considering moving herself as she felt her rent was too high and following that her landlord reduced it to 400pm. This is how I know these things. I generally try to keep to myself but they are chatty bunch. When I started I tried to not get involved as it felt gossipy and the more I tried to avoid the questions the more I was thought of as not being part of the group.

Afollower

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with you being expected to work all the Saturday's or do the less-popular tasks: frankly that's often what companies employ part-time staff for. Hopefully a full time position (here or in another company) will open up soon.

QUOTE]
Mrs OBumble you are quite wrong in your statement above. The Protection of Employees (Part time Work) Act 2001 states
A part-time employee shall not be treated less favourably than a comparable full time employee in respect of any condition of employment.