Great One Liners...

Mech1

I don't care if your bleedin to death, bend over.

D.Q

I'd rather get up on a monday morning.

dupeters

a bird in the hand can get quite messy

phkk

If work was in bed, he'd lie on the floor!

Senna

The best part of you ran down your mothers crack and ended up as a brown stain on the sheets.

Rasheed

That wan has been fingered more time than a tub of Vaseline.

dupeters

if assholes were planes this place would be an airport

ADonoghue

Shes had more pricks than a pin cushion

She got a face like a bull-dog chewing a wasp

dupeters

she has the ass of a 12 year old boy

dupeters

riding her would be like throwing a sausage down o connell street

daithi1970

conjunctivitis.com - it's a site for sore eyes










badum-tish!

0ph0rce0

EDIT: Read Title Wrong : (

henrysellers1

Saw a guy in a bar chatting up a cheetah, he was trying to pull a fast one

Duggy747

He's so scabby he'd suck the milk from your tea.

He's so tight that if he stuck a piece of coal up his arse he'd shìte out a diamond.

bobwilliams

i'd leave love bites in her sheite

bobwilliams

let's not turn this rape into a murder

dupeters

hardly a great one liner??

Jesus Christ

They're quoting from Legit. And it was.

jimmy180sx wrote: »

Im so hungry, id eat a nuns arse through the convent gates

I'd eat a farmers ass through a tennis racquet.

She'd suck a golf ball through 40 feet of garden hose. Or the chrome off a towbar.

bobwilliams

dupeters wrote: »

hardly a great one liner??

neither is that, now if you've nothing funny to say off to bed with ya:mad:

dupeters

ya comming?

lifeandtimes

( drunk woman after insulting a guy on the street trying to be funny)

Guy: thats very funny,now if I throw a stick will you go away?

ArraMusha

A chat up line...."are ya dancin or is it just the way ur standin"....:)

And to quiten a lad admirin a wan...

....."she'd laugh at your best"

x43r0

Ridin' her would be like opening the window and ****ing the night sky

Lelantos

About a lucky bugger
He'd fall in sh*t and land in chocolate

bobwilliams

Lelantos wrote: »

About a lucky bugger
He'd fall in sh*t and land in chocolate

wait.............if he fell in sheite,he fell in sheite..i think you've this one slightly wrong

dpofloinn

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Voodoomelon

From the stingiest thing you've ever seen thread.

"He throws around euros like they're manhole covers".

Mr Tibbs

She has the body off Baywatch and the face off Crimewatch.

Ihatecuddles-old

Mr Tibbs wrote: »

She has the body off Baywatch and the face off Crimewatch.

They're called BOBFOCs for short

Senecio

Useless as tits on a bull

stefan idiot jones

She has got a fanny as wet as Rod Hulls roof.

Johnny Drama_11

The sea wouldn’t give her a wave.

stefan idiot jones

Beaten like a ginger step child.

Gringo180

She's had more hands up her than Bosco.
She's handled more balls than Packie Bonner.

stefan idiot jones

You can tell she's a classy bird, she has all her tattoos spelled right.

stefan idiot jones

I'm off to the toilet to "liberate Mandela".

stefan idiot jones

Would I f*ck her ?

I'd put her f*ckin hip out.

wobzilla1

She's had more Dicks than a Richard convention

stefan idiot jones

He is sweatin' like a rapist.

stefan idiot jones

After a hot curry....

I've got an arse like the Japanese flag.

subscriber

On a hot day...

"im sweating like a paedophile in a playground"

stefan idiot jones

Commenting on a ****ty car.....

It couldn't pull a greasy man out of bed.

Wattle

Larry David petting a German Shepard: 'It's nice to be affectionate to something German you don't get the chance that often'.

Penny Dreadful

Dietsquirt wrote: »

Anyone have any great one-liners, i heard this one the other day and i think it's excellent:

(When speaking about a great looking woman)

'I'd swim through a river of **** to suck the c$ck of the last man that f$cked her...'

Anyone else got any? Doesn't have to be directed at women.:pac:

Thats really gross.
No woman would ever want to hear that. :eek:

Hannibal Smith

Back in the knife box Miss Sharp

stefan idiot jones

She has got a box like a monkeys jaw.

stefan idiot jones

She has a bush like Terry Waite's allotment.

stefan idiot jones

She is definitely a double bagger.

stefan idiot jones

You don't sweat much for a fat lass.

kylith

I wouldn't let him run a tap.