au-pair question

doubletrouble?

thanks for all the feedback. some was positive, alot negative, some didn't understand the role of an au pair.
as some of you said there is only two solutions, both of which will be hard to make.
so on that i ask this thread be locked by a mod.
D.T.

tbh

doubletrouble? wrote: »

thanks for all the feedback. some was positive, alot negative, some didn't understand the role of an au pair.
as some of you said there is only two solutions, both of which will be hard to make.
so on that i ask this thread be locked by a mod.
D.T.

ibtl - first time I've ever used that legitimately.

Here's the thing - you're entitled to require an au pair to do whatever you want, as long as you make your intentions clear before she starts. If you require her to spend each night before work in your house, that's absolutely fine, if she doesn't want to do that, she's perfectly entitled to refuse, you get someone else, all is good.

It sounds to me like there may have been an assumption on your part, an assumption on hers and that those two assumptions don't gel with each other. Your third option, as I see it, is to sit her down, explain to her that you're very happy with her work, but clarify how important it is to you that she spends the night in the house before each work day. If you want, you can apologise for not making that clearer in advance, but politely but firmly point out that it's a requisite for the job and if she can't do it, you'll have to find someone who can.

Also, I'd suggest that if her hours start only when your wife leaves, ask her to start an hour earlier, and offer her an extra few quid a week - that way, things won't be on such a knife-edge in the morning, time wise.

You shouldn't feel awkward or embarrassed about talking to her, and you shouldn't feel angry at her either. You're all adults, and if you sit down and talk to her calmly, you should be able to sort this out with no bad feelng.

Sleepy

If she tries the "missed the bus" thing again tell her to get a taxi.

doubletrouble?

after a few weeks of chatting with my wife, we've decided it's not financially worth our while keeping this girl when days off and half days are taken into account. she only minds the kids 3 days a week when all this is added up. we have learned alot of valuable lessons from both here and the net. i was going to say works but she rarely does any cleaning up not even after the babies.
so for the next au pair we'll be drawing up a list all of which are important.
(1) roster for hours that must be worked
(2) agreed pay
(3) cleaning/household duties.
(4) time keeping.
(5) being part of a family
(6) probation period
(7) contract signed and agreed by both parties for all of the above.
for anyone starting out getting an au pair. no matter how harsh all of the above may seem it is very important that something like this must be done.
there are different ways at looking at au pairs, some people would agree/ disagree on their role and the way they're treated.
examples are, some people would say the most important thing is they must be treated as part of a family. the most important factor is we're the employer and they're the employee harsh as it may seem at the end of the day it's the parents that make the decisions on whether the au pair is suitable or unsuitable as time goes on. we treated our au pairs as family first, then employee second. as with any family, members try and get away without doing things or slacking off.
we've learned a valuable and harsh lesson from all of this.
alot of au pairs are foreign students coming here to learn english, the standards range from poor, to average to good english it's most important that everything is put in writing for them when doing a contract that way theres no misunderstanding. should there be any questions from either side at least it's in writing.