Great GoT One Liners

80s Child

Thought it would be funny to set this up so people could put up their favourite one-liners for a bit of craic.

One of mine: Tyrion S2 (not sure of the episode): 'Why are all the gods such vicious c**ts? Where are the gods of t**s and wine'. Cracks me up that dude!

Edit: As posted, we'll keep this for the show as opposed to the books. Apologies

Liam O

In Dance with Dragons (apologies if this is only for the show, will spoiler anyway)

Roose Bolton says to Ramsay "All you have I gave you. You would do well to remember that, bastard. As for this... Reek... if you have not ruined him beyond redemption, he may yet be of some use to us. Get the keys and remove those chains from him, before you make me rue the day I raped your mother."

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

probably safest to keep it just for the tv show..

Shazbot

This is from ADWD.

"Fetch me a block" solidifies Jon's no nonsense leadership.

AlmightyCushion

Jaime lannister about Renly - it's a pity the throne isn't made of cocks, they'd never get him off it.

ceegee

Tyrion (on Joffrey): "do you think dipping his wick will cure what ails him?"

Bronn: "Theres no cure for being a c*nt"

username123

"I cant stand the wailing of women.......arrrggghh"

sparkthatbled

Robert: "Come, bow before your King! BOW, YOU ****S!"

Shazbot

The Hound: "If any man dies with a clean sword, I'll rape his ****ing corpse!"

Pretty sick Mr Clegane.

krudler

Varys: I've always hated the bells. They ring for horror, a dead king, a city under siege.
Tyrion: A wedding.
Varys: Exactly.

Gbear

"I'm not threatening the King, ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. That was a threat. See the difference?"

Shazbot

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Jaime lannister about Renly - it's a pity the throne isn't made of cocks, they'd never get him off it.

In a similar fashion from 2 Lannister soldiers talking about the best fighters.

1: "Loras Tyrell is better with a sword than any of them."
2: "How good can he be? He's been stabbing Renly Baratheon for years and he aint dead."

KJY

Lysa Arryn: "You fight with no honour"
Bronn: "No.....he did"

Interrobang

Pretty much everything Dolorous Edd says.

Witcher

Interrobang wrote: »

Pretty much everything Dolorous Edd says.

+1

"I never win anything," Dolorous Edd
complained. "The gods always smiled on
Watt, though. When the wildlings knocked
him off the Bridge of Skulls, somehow he
landed in a nice deep pool of water. How
lucky was that, missing all those rocks?"
"Was it a long fall?" Grenn wanted to know.
"Did landing in the pool of water save his
life?" "No," said Dolorous Edd. "He was
dead already, from that axe in his head.
Still, it was pretty lucky, missing the rocks.":pac:

----

"We'll defend the wall to the last man,"
Said Cotter Pyke. "Probably me," said
Dolorous Edd in a resigned tone.

Liam O

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_aTNaY7f0I

jimmy180sx

Ned stark to the hound:

Ned; you ran down the butcher boy??

Hound; he ran.......not very fast.

padraig_f

"Power resides where men believe it resides; it's a trick, a shadow on the wall, and a very small man can cast a very large shadow."
- Varys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpL6Fwu0wkw

AlmightyCushion

username123 wrote: »

"I cant stand the wailing of women.......arrrggghh"

He's such a little shít. Great to see him being put in his box especially with that little pathetic whimper he gives out as Tyrion slaps him.

Mickeroo

I liked the introduction of Tormund Giantsbane in the first episode this season:


"Plenty of little men tried to put their swords through my heart. And there's plenty of little skeletons buried in the woods."

Duckworth_Luas

“Hodor! Hodor! Hodor!”

Barna77

"There are no men like me. Only me" Jaime Lannister :cool:

Anything that came out of hammered Cersei's mouth

podgemonster

"....now play with her arse!"

Littlefinger Season 1 Ep 7

Degag

"Fúck the Kings Guard, fúck the city, fúck the King" - Sandor Clegane

A few great ones from Tyrion

To Jon Snow

"“Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”

Book 2/season 2

“I am not questioning your honor, I am denying its existence.”

Do not read unless you've read all of book 3

Not a quote but my favorites line in the books so far. After Tyrion put an arrow in Tywin's stomach "But the stink that filled the privy gave ample evidence that the oft-repeated jape about his father was just another lie. Lord Tywin Lannister did not, in the end, **** gold." Brilliant , I think I laughed myself to sleep after reading that

The hound is consistent !

Scene in season 2

Sansa Stark: Does it give you joy to scare people?
Sandor Clegane: No, it gives me joy to kill people.

Blackwater

Sandor Clegane: Someone bring me a drink. **** the water, bring me wine.

Season 3

Sandor Clegane: What in seven hells are you doing with the Stark bitch?

J. Marston

"A sword swallower through and through."

Lovely Bloke

"The laws of my fist are about to compel your teeth"

squonk

"Pardon me, but you're an ugly fúcker and I'd rather not see you no more!"

longhalloween

Jamie Lannister after seeing Brienne "What? Is that a woman?"

To Catelyn Stark about Brienne "where DID you get that beast from?"

*insert Mr Frey quotes here*

KJY

"Your King says he betrayed me for love. I'd say he betrayed me for firm tits and a tight fit", a personal favourite

J. Marston

"The Lannisters send their regards."

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

Shaggar: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?

Tyrion: In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock.

AlmightyCushion

Every sword needs a sheath.

castletownman

"Mind that one. He means a lot to me".

Or words to that effect by Osha last night. For some reason got a lump in my throat when she said it.

Paddy Cow

Not a one liner but Tyrion confessing his crimes is priceless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHx-kita75Y

shrewdness

Barristan Selmy: "Even now I could cut through the five of you like carving a cake!"

Gbear

"Aaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!"

-Catelyn Stark.

RobbingBandit

Tyrion "You Should taste her Fish Pie."
Shae "I don't think Lord Varys likes Fish Pie."

Still my favourite line in all the series so far. GRRM is a sick bastard at innuendoes:D

Paddy Cow

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Tyrion "You Should taste her Fish Pie."
Shae "I don't think Lord Varys likes Fish Pie."

Still my favourite line in all the series so far. GRRM is a sick bastard at innuendoes:D

Another one from Shae. When Tyrion was trying to sneak her into the castle he said he would get her a job in the kitchens. I can't remember her exact words but she said something along the lines of

"Men who have tasted my cooking always complement me on what a good whore I am".

Skylinehead

"But sir...hundreds will die".



"Thousands."

Stannis :cool:

theteal

what happens when the non existent bumps against the decrepit? - Nanny Tyrell

K_user

I know its not a one liner, but its classic "Hound".

AS: I know a real killer
SG: Is that so?
AS: You'd be like a kitten to him. He'd kill you with his little finger.
SG: Is that him?
AS: No
SG: Good...

Duckworth_Luas

Magister Illyrio Mopatis: "A Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair"

:pac:

kieranfitz

Its already been mentioned but it is the truest line in any movie or TV series ever

Bronn: There's no cure for being a c*nt.

jimmy180sx

Has anyone mentioned it yet;

Arya to The Hound

One day i'll stick a sword through your eye and out the back of your head

LionelNashe

"A sword swallower through and through"

garv123

el dude

Stannis:He wasn't "my beloved brother". I didn't love him. He didn't love me.

Not a funny line on it's own i suppose, but the delivery makes it hilarious.

Plopsu

Tyrion: 'This is Chella, daughter of Cheyk. This is Timmit sone of Timmit And this is Bron, son of......'

Bron: 'You wouldn't know him'.

Best delivery in the entire three series.

lynski

season ep 10 had so many

You sent the most powerful man in the realm to bed without supper

big words no clothes

it is not easy being drunk all the time: if it was easy everyone would do it.

Hoder