Issues with sex after birth

LegacyUser

Hi sorry if this isn't the right place for this but I figured it might be a good place to start seeing as everyone here has had a baby in the not too distant past!
I'm just wondering if, in the months following the birth, did anyone have any issues having sex? I knew that obviously after a vaginal birth that doing the deed would be a bit different but to be honest I really didn't think it would be this bad! For me the birth itself was fine but I found the recovery quite traumatic and painful, as I needed a lot of stitches after a large second degree tear. My daughter is 8 months now, and because of all the pain I had after the birth it wasn't until 5 months after the birth that I was brave enough to have sex again (my poor partner, he was very understanding though).
Sorry if this is tmi but sex is quite uncomfortable for me since, it nearly feels like I'm too tight? And my partner feels like he can't go in the whole way without hurting me. I'm wondering is it maybe because of all the scar tissue, like it's hard to stretch or something. Also I got a coil inserted 2 months post partum, I don't know would this have any bearing on it.
Sorry for the rambling or if this is too graphic but I just want to know is this normal? Or if it's happened to anyone else does it pass? I'm thinking about going to the doctor about it because I don't want this to be a long term issue, but I'm not sure what they could even do. I want to enjoy sex again!
Thanks in advance x

2xj3hplqgsbkym

It is normal for sex to feel uncomfortable and different after having a baby.

However, I think you should definitely go to doctor. It should not be so painful and uncomfortable this long after birth. Worrying about it will make it worse as you will be tense.

Hobbitfeet

I had similar experience, we tried around 5mths but I found it too sore so we stopped. Tried again around 6mths I tried to be more relaxed and that helped but it was sore the first couple of times. Go to the doctor just to make sure everything is ok and then really don't stress about it, relax as much as possible and use a lubricant

highflyer30

Ya i agree, use a lubricant. It ll make much easier. Its bound to be different after all the trauma. It s like startin all over again

scrgirl

Definately go back to your maternity hospital, they may have to re stich you if they are not healing properly. I know someone who had her stiches re done after a year as she had same problem. I'm 5 months post partum and no pain at all. Was a bit tighter for first few months though. You should not have to suffer that.

pwurple

Go to the GP and get examined. I had some damage done as well. Stitches needed to be redone.

PlainP

I would definitely go back to your doctor, I didn't have any trouble after my two but I do know of women which were stitched too tight and with the resulting scar tissue it made intercourse unbearable.
It is easily fixed though do don't worry. Things will get better for you.

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for all your replies. Regarding going back to my maternity hospital- would I need a GP referral for that? I'm not so keen on going to my GP, she's not at all sympathetic or very understanding.
The thoughts of getting re-stitched make me feel ill I found getting a smear at 3 months post partum to be absolute agony, the thoughts of anyone fiddling around down there makes me break out in a sweat... I really hate this, I feel like such a freak

Hobbitfeet

Not sure but I'd say you would need a referral. Could you go to a different dr and just explain the situation and that you would like a 2nd opinion?

2xj3hplqgsbkym

I think you should ring the maternity hospital, ask to speak to a midwife and ask how you would go about getting seen to by a doctor in the hospital. I have always found the mid wives very helpful.

I am sure that if you had to get stitches re done you would get anasthetic and it wouldn't be too bad, and will be well worth it.

It is horrible and embarassing but don't just leave it because it will be worth it in the long run.

endacl

user99 wrote: »

I'm not so keen on going to my GP, she's not at all sympathetic or very understanding.

New GP. And not just for this. Yours sounds a bit crap. Most aren't.

pwurple

user99 wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for all your replies. Regarding going back to my maternity hospital- would I need a GP referral for that? I'm not so keen on going to my GP, she's not at all sympathetic or very understanding.
The thoughts of getting re-stitched make me feel ill I found getting a smear at 3 months post partum to be absolute agony, the thoughts of anyone fiddling around down there makes me break out in a sweat... I really hate this, I feel like such a freak

New GP, 100%. If getting a smear is agony, first of all they are down there anyway, so they should be checking things are ok. They should also have picked up on you being in agony and sent you for checks.

Ask your friends or family for a recommendation for a better local GP.

Sittingpretty

I'd echo what everyone else has said, just to be sure get yourself checked by GP or maybe a private gynae if you're not confident in your GP.

I felt very similar to you (also had 2nd degree tear). For nearly nine months, a lot of my issues were in my head though and nearly 2 years on, all is grand now.

Best to get double checked though, best of luck

December2012

Are you breast feeding? The associated hormones can increase the feelings of dryness.

I haven't seen it mentioned yet?

Lubricant can help.

scrgirl

I would go back to my consultant at the maternity hosp rather than gp if I was you, they have a responsibility for your wellbeing.