Your Team's Worst Premiership XI

COYVB

With the caveats of a minimum of 15 league appearances in Premiership era to qualify, players played in their proper position and using a proper formation, what's your teams absolute worst XI? Might be nice to argue about whose team is worse for a change. Feel free to preemptively defend any controversial inclusions. I'll start with mine...

Aston Villa

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Petr Enkleman

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Alan Hutton---Liam Ridgewell

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Riccardo Scimeca---JLloyd Samuel
Hassan Kachlouol----Sasa Curcic

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Mark Kinsella--Oyvind Leonhardsen

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Marcus Allback---Emile Heskey

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There's a team to strike fear into the hearts of Villa fans everywhere... with Alex McLeish as manager, too

Montroseee

I distinctly remember some posters claiming Hutton was the PL's best right back about 2 or 3 seasons ago .

COYVB

He did alright with Sunderland, and occasionally with Spurs, but he was consistently dreadful at Villa

Jax Teller

Premier League !!!!!!

Moneymaker

Newcastle:

GK: Not had any bad ones in the EPL, Srincek, Hislop, Harper, Given and Krul.
RB: Pistone
CB: Cacapa
CB: Boumsong
LB: Quinn
RM: Geremi
CM: Smith
CM: Bassedas
LM: Luque
ST: Guivarch
ST: Xisco

Manager: Ruud Gullit

Montroseee

Moneymaker wrote: »

Newcastle:

GK: Not had any bad ones in the EPL, Srincek, Hislop, Harper, Given and Krul.
RB: Pistone
CB: Cacapa
CB: Boumsong
LB: Quinn
RM: Geremi
CM: Smith
CM: Bassedas
LM: Luque
ST: Guivarch
ST: Xisco

Manager: Ruud Gullit

Owen is a given.

COYVB

JDT was pretty awful for Newcastle too wasn't he?

cson

COYVB wrote: »

JDT was pretty awful for Newcastle too wasn't he?

He was played out of position for most of his time there, wasn't he? He went on to have a successful enough spell at AC Milan after irrc.

For Arsenal...

Almunia
Santos
Cygan
Stepanovs
Diawara
Baptista
Jeffers

Are about all I can think that were actually poison. Potentially could include Arshavin on recent form but I'm going for players that were actually terrible for the entirety of their with us.

Moneymaker

Montroseee wrote: »

Owen is a given.

When he was actually on the pitch he generally scored goals.

The fact his attitude was utterly appalling(esp in the relegation season) isn't really relevant here.

And yeah JDT was awful but he also only 20, in a new country with a struggling side.

Skylinehead

cson wrote: »

He was played out of position for most of his time there, wasn't he? He went on to have a successful enough spell at AC Milan after irrc.

For Arsenal...

Almunia
Santos
Cygan
Stepanovs
Diawara
Baptista
Jeffers

Are about all I can think that were actually poison. Potentially could include Arshavin on recent form but I'm going for players that were actually terrible for the entirety of their with us.

Squillaci and Denilson from the current lot.

tvercetti

COYVB wrote: »

Aston Villa

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Petr Enkleman

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Alan Hutton---Liam Ridgewell

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Riccardo Scimeca---JLloyd Samuel
Hassan Kachlouol----Sasa Curcic

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Mark Kinsella--Oyvind Leonhardsen

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Marcus Allback---Emile Heskey

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Aww, no Bosko Balaban!!

COYVB

tvercetti wrote: »

Aww, no Bosko Balaban!!

He didn't make enough appareances

Francie Barrett

In my lifetime, two teams in particular stood out for Liverpool as being truly awful. The 1993 team that Souness had was one and the team of Woy a few years ago was the other.

GK - Doni - He's hardly a cult Liverpool hero for his footballing ability.
CB - Torben Piechnik - We thought we were getting a Danish European Championship, instead we got a lad who was painfully out of his depth.
CB - Nicky Tanner - How he lasted so long at our club is a mystery to me. Remember being at Anfield a long time ago hearing the groans as he was about to be subbed on.
RB - Abel Xavier - Can still remember the hype when he joined us, some people at the time seemed to think he was going to be a great player. He certainly dispelled them of that notion
LB - Paul Konchesky - I'll say one thing about Konchesky he did make some kind of effort. His problem was that he was a Championship standard player who had a purple patch before he came to us.
CM - Paul Stewart - We thought we were buying an England international - instead we ended up with a pub team player who rapidly went into decline once he signed on the dotted line for us.
CM - Salif Diao - It was between himself and Poulsen for the other central midfield spot - chose Diao because we bizarrely paid money for him.
RM - Ryan Babel - We paid massive money for this lad only to find out that he had no footballing ability whatsoever. To think he came from the Ajax academy is a travesty.
LM - Milan Jovanovic - Picking Jovanovic for the simple reason that he was paid a ridiculous amount of money (some speculate £80k a week) and was useless.
CF - David Ngog - Like Babel, he had the physical ability to be a top centre forward. Unfortunately, he couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo.
CF - El Hadji Diouf - We've had other equally useless strikers, but Diouf takes the biscuit for being such a vile human being. Probably the worst signing the club has ever made.

Amirani

I think Babel is a harsh inclusion. He wasn't really good enough for a team challenging for Top 4 but he's a decent enough player. I'd easily have the likes of Mark Gonzalez ahead of him.

Dante

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Taibi

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May(?)

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Blanc

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Wallwork

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Cruyff

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Miller----Djemba-Djemba--

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Kleberson

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Bebe

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Forlan

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Bellion

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Based on my era, this would roughly be it from the top of my head. No defenders really scream out to me atm, although I'm sure theres plenty out there. The rest of the team is fairly bad though. Forlan, albeit a good player, was fairly shocking for us as was Mark Bosnich, Luke Chadwick, Obertan amongst others.

jethro081

NiallSparky wrote: »

I think Babel is a harsh inclusion. He wasn't really good enough for a team challenging for Top 4 but he's a decent enough player. I'd easily have the likes of Mark Gonzalez ahead of him.

joe cole anyone?

also, an honourable mention has to be made for dossena at left back. Harry Kewell would make a most disappointing eleven, but wasn't quite crap enough to scrape into this team.

COYVB

DaaaaaaaaaaN wrote: »

-No defenders really scream out to me atm, although I'm sure theres plenty out there.

Prunier was fairly awful... how many appearances did he make?

Amirani

DaaaaaaaaaaN wrote: »

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Taibi

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??????

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Blanc

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??????

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Cruyff

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Miller----Djemba-Djemba--

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Kleberson

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Bebe

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Bellion

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Based on my era, this would roughly be it. No defenders really scream out to me atm, although I'm sure theres plenty out there. The rest of the team is fairly bad though. Forlan, albeit a good player, was fairly shocking for us as was Mark Bosnich, Luke Chadwick, Obertan amongst others.

Throw in David May and Ronnie Wallwork sure.

The_Kew_Tour

COYVB wrote: »

Prunier was fairly awful... how many appearances did he make?

2 I think.

Scored once.

Dante

NiallSparky wrote: »

Throw in David May and Ronnie Wallwork sure.

Haha how could I forget about Ronnie Wallwork. David May could be a worthy contender too.

COYVB wrote: »

Prunier was fairly awful... how many appearances did he make?

Can't say I know much about him seen as I was 5 when he signed for us. Just reading his wiki now and it sounds like he could fit the bill.

DazMarz

Chelsea:

GK: Hitchcock (though to be fair to him, he was blighted by injury during his time at the club)
DF: Jakob Kjeldbjerg (as above, blighted by injury, but was never up to much)
DF: Michael Duberry (never liked him at centre half; very error prone)
DF: Danny Granville (played second fiddle to LeSaux for most of his career at Chelsea, and rightly so)
DF: Asier Del Horno (shockingly bad player)
MF: Jody Morris (not bad, but never delivered truly and fully on what was promised)
MF: Gabriele Ambrosetti (UGH... just... UGH)
MF: Jiří Jarošík (possibly didn't play enough to be fully tested at Chelsea, but never lit it up at all while there
FW: Salomon Kalou (hated him playing at Chelsea. Beyond useless at times)
FW: Mateja Kežman (broke all the records in the Eredivisie. Broke nothing at Chelsea)
FW: Adrian Mutu (coke-head. nuff said)

Manager: Avram Grant

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Karel poborsky for man utd comes to mind

EuropeanSon

cson wrote: »

He was played out of position for most of his time there, wasn't he? He went on to have a successful enough spell at AC Milan after irrc.

For Arsenal...

Almunia
Santos
Cygan
Stepanovs
Diawara
Baptista
Jeffers

Are about all I can think that were actually poison. Potentially could include Arshavin on recent form but I'm going for players that were actually terrible for the entirety of their with us.

Seem to recall Almunia having at least one quite decent season. I'd replace Cygan with Squillaci, definitely.

ambid

COYVB wrote: »

...Aston Villa

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Petr Enkleman

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Alan Hutton---Liam Ridgewell

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Riccardo Scimeca---JLloyd Samuel
Hassan Kachlouol----Sasa Curcic

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Mark Kinsella--Oyvind Leonhardsen

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Marcus Allback---Emile Heskey

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There's a team to strike fear into the hearts of Villa fans everywhere... with Alex McLeish as manager, too

Great thread, but that's a little harsh on Kinsella. I thought he was a good player - always worked hard, had good control, and was an intelligent player.

Unearthly

Lindegaard

Rafael
Evans
Vidic
Evra

Anderson
Clev
Giggs
Valencia
Jones

RVP

COYVB

ambid wrote: »

Great thread, but that's a little harsh on Kinsella. I thought he was a good player - always worked hard, had good control, and was an intelligent player.

He was dire at Villa though, I agree in general based on his career in full, but at Villa he was not altogether unworthy of inclusion

G.K.

Leeds:

GK: No options, we had it good in this dept.

DL: Nigel Worthington
DC: Roque Junior
DC: Michael Duberry
DR: Paul Okon

MR: Tomas Brolin
MC: Seth Johnson
MC: Lamine Sakho
ML: Nick Barmby

FC: Darren Huckerby
FC: Frank Strandli

astonaidan

COYVB wrote: »

With the caveats of a minimum of 15 league appearances in Premiership era to qualify, players played in their proper position and using a proper formation, what's your teams absolute worst XI? Might be nice to argue about whose team is worse for a change. Feel free to preemptively defend any controversial inclusions. I'll start with mine...

Aston Villa

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Petr Enkleman

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Alan Hutton---Liam Ridgewell

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Riccardo Scimeca---JLloyd Samuel
Hassan Kachlouol----Sasa Curcic

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Mark Kinsella--Oyvind Leonhardsen

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Marcus Allback---Emile Heskey

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There's a team to strike fear into the hearts of Villa fans everywhere... with Alex McLeish as manager, too

I hope you burn in hell, one of my favourite Villa players

Esse85

Aston Villa - Will avoid players already mentioned.

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Gabor Kiraly

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Habib Beye---Zat Knight

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curtis davies---Nick Shorey
Wayne Routledge----Berson

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Djemba Djemba--Steve Stone

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Stan Collymore---Marlon Harewood

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Francie Barrett

jethro081 wrote: »

joe cole anyone?

Cole was an awful player for us, but in terms of footballing ability he was ahead of Babel.

G.K.

I'd take the Liverpool Babel over the Liverpool Cole though. At least Babel did stuff every now and again. I can think of about 3 or 4 things Cole did that was good in his whole time there.

Rekop dog

G.K. wrote: »

Leeds:

GK: No options, we had it good in this dept.

DL: Nigel Worthington
DC: Roque Junior
DC: Michael Duberry
DR: Paul Okon

MR: Tomas Brolin
MC: Seth Johnson
MC: Lamine Sakho
ML: Nick Barmby

FC: Darren Huckerby
FC: Frank Strandli

Surely not huckerby

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=-B6ucoSoIy4

chopperbyrne

Esse85 wrote: »

Gabor Kiraly

Free pass for his awesome tracksuit bottoms.

G.K.

Rekop dog wrote: »

Surely not huckerby

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=-B6ucoSoIy4

Cost us over 1 million a goal. Love the guy but he wasn't great for us.

klose

Francie Barrett wrote: »

Cole was an awful player for us, but in terms of footballing ability he was ahead of Babel.

Babel scored atleast ten goals for us one season, pretty good for a winger. Didnt live up to the hype but wouldnt have him near a worst xi

Esse85

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Free pass for his awesome tracksuit bottoms.

I taught they were more like pyjamas.

COYVB

astonaidan wrote: »

I hope you burn in hell, one of my favourite Villa players

He was dire

Yes, he scored a goal that helped us stay up, but, Christ, he was abysmal at pretty much all other times. He offered nothing - for him to be one of your favourite Villa players is just odd

COYVB

Esse85 wrote: »

Aston Villa - Will avoid players already mentioned.

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Gabor Kiraly

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Habib Beye---Zat Knight

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curtis davies---Nick Shorey
Wayne Routledge----Berson

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Djemba Djemba--Steve Stone

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Stan Collymore---Marlon Harewood

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Kiraly didn't play enough games sadly - 15 appearance minimum for the list as per my rules :P

Neither Beye nor Berson made that number either, and I'd have questions on Routledge or Djemba Djemba on the same technicality

I think with Villa we tend to make disastrous signings and just not bother with them

eagle eye

G.K. wrote: »

Cost us over 1 million a goal. Love the guy but he wasn't great for us.

I'd say Tomas Brolin was a far bigger disappointment. Also you did have Mark Beeney as a keeper for a short while so I think that fits your needs there.

Dante

COYVB wrote: »

Aston Villa

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Petr Enkleman

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Alan Hutton---Liam Ridgewell

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Riccardo Scimeca---JLloyd Samuel
Hassan Kachlouol----Sasa Curcic

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Mark Kinsella--Oyvind Leonhardsen

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Marcus Allback---Emile Heskey

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Hang on a minute here, surely that is some sort of sick joke? Emile Heskey was the all important ingredient of that Villa team, a one man mountain, the cog that made them turn. Sure, he might have only scored a pathetic 9 goals in almost 100 appearances and yes, he mightn't have contributed to team performances in any positive way and lacked any trace of technical ability, but surely the joyful smiles he brought to the faces of both home and away supporters alike was enough to spare him this humiliation and embarrassment?

Cienciano

COYVB wrote: »

Prunier was fairly awful... how many appearances did he make?

I remember watching Pruniers second game for Man-u and thinking it wasn't possible for a player to have such a bad performance. I reckon he was in Quantum Leap and Sam Beckett had jumped into his body just before kick off.

Paully D

I'd probably be able to fill in 5 teams, but using the criteria:

Kelvin Davis

Gareth Hall Paul McShane Gary Breen Greg Halford

Nicolas Medina Jeff Whitley Tommy Miller

Jon Stead Andy Gray Roy O'Donovan

Jesus wept, I could go on and on and on. We have had some shit at the club.

G.K.

eagle eye wrote: »

I'd say Tomas Brolin was a far bigger disappointment. Also you did have Mark Beeney as a keeper for a short while so I think that fits your needs there.

I agree over Brolin, he's in the team too.

Beeney is a good shout actually, completely forgot him.

ambid

This thread is giving me nightmares...

eagle eye

Allbeck, Heskey and Kiinsella wouldn't be on a worst Villa team. You have Collymore, Balaban and Lamptey for a start. Eric Bakke is another who was a huge flop at Villa and lets not forget Peter Crouch who was awful there and then there was the two Moroccans Hadji and Kachloul who were pretty bad too.

eagle eye

G.K. wrote: »

I agree over Brolin, he's in the team too.

Beeney is a good shout actually, completely forgot him.

I didn't realise you had Brolin in it. He was a striker though not a winger.

astonaidan

COYVB wrote: »

He was dire

Yes, he scored a goal that helped us stay up, but, Christ, he was abysmal at pretty much all other times. He offered nothing - for him to be one of your favourite Villa players is just odd

Im not sure how its odd, not everyone can like the same players, like right now Gabby's my favourite player where most people would have Benteke and Id have Delph as second fav.
Allback just wasnt used right imo

Xavi6

eagle eye wrote: »

Allbeck, Heskey and Kiinsella wouldn't be on a worst Villa team. You have Collymore, Balaban and Lamptey for a start. Eric Bakke is another who was a huge flop at Villa and lets not forget Peter Crouch who was awful there and then there was the two Moroccans Hadji and Kachloul who were pretty bad too.

The OP's criteria is pretty clear - 15 appearances. Lamptey, Balaban and about ten other players mentioned so far (Prunier for example) don't count.

COYVB

astonaidan wrote: »

Im not sure how its odd, not everyone can like the same players, like right now Gabby's my favourite player where most people would have Benteke and Id have Delph as second fav.
Allback just wasnt used right imo

Well it's weird because people usually pick players who were actually decent. Allback was worse than useless at Villa, so unless you're Swedish it just seems a bit odd

COYVB

eagle eye wrote: »

Allbeck, Heskey and Kiinsella wouldn't be on a worst Villa team. You have Collymore, Balaban and Lamptey for a start. Eric Bakke is another who was a huge flop at Villa and lets not forget Peter Crouch who was awful there and then there was the two Moroccans Hadji and Kachloul who were pretty bad too.

Bakke was a loan for half a season, hardly a huge flop. Kachloul is in my team. Hadji wasn't too bad at Villa, certainly a lot more useful than Kinsella. Lamptey and Balaban didn't play enough games to qualify. Crouch was a tough call, but I went for Heskey instead given that he was the beginning of the end for Villa challenging at the top end. Collymore definitely doesn't deserve to be in there ahead of Allback, because bad and all a signing as he was, he was far better than the Swede.

Christ, Luc Nilis was more effective at Villa than Allback, and he only lasted 3 games before he had to retire

Nuigforce

Paully D wrote: »

I'd probably be able to fill in 5 teams, but using the criteria:

Kelvin Davis

Gareth Hall Paul McShane Gary Breen Greg Halford

Nicolas Medina Jeff Whitley Tommy Miller

Jon Stead Andy Gray Roy O'Donovan

Jesus wept, I could go on and on and on. We have had some shit at the club.

Holy S**** Jeff Whitley, id forgotten about him
Medina never played a league game either,, which frees up a spot for Christian Bassila