Need info for the Monday Morning.re.Miscarraige

justaskin likeyakno

Maybe this is the wrong forum but I was just wondering what i do next.

After 6 years ttc and given up I got a positive last saturday week, only to miscarry the following thursday.

I am back in the hospital in the morning and so far they have been horrible to deal with and told me nothing other than I miscarried, no info on what to expect over the coming days, only to come back in if the pain is severe.

The thing is, the pain hasn't been that bad, I didn't pass much and I'm wondering should I be suggesting D&C, lap and dye or otherwise to see if all is in order to try again when my cycle returns.

At 36 I don't have time to be flaffing around. We were misdiagnosed initially which led to a 3 year delay in concieving. I was put on clomid, which I didn't need and reacted badly to, while it was actually my DHs morphology was part of the problem, what little hormaone issues I had were compounded by the clomid.

Anyway, that was just a little info to bring you up to speed so you can see why I'm anxious that things are done right from the start.

I had blood tests on fri and sun morning which confirm the hormone is subsiding but i stopped bleeding and passed nothing, any information or help would be great.

I'm exhausted and just can't seem to find the right info anywhere.

Thanks.

barbiegirl

First sorry for your loss it is a loss and you must mourn it as such. I've been there 3 times so hopefully I can help a bit.
If you feel you haven't passed everything ask for a scan and blood tests. If all is passed you'll get a 0 in the hormones and a clear scan.
If everything isn't gone then either a d&c or a medical option (pill) will be offered. The pill is easier and less chance of scarring. I've had both. They will test the tissue from a d&c for anomalies and again if there is anything you choose either for them to bury or for you to take home to bury. They don't run extensive tests unless you've had 3 misses. Privately they may.
Next once all is clear you can start to try again as soon as you are ready. It's easier to date if you wait til after your next period plus I always found it can me a fresh start feeling.
Best of luck and feel free to pm me if you need. We're nearly 5 years in but have some answers now and are on new treatment that will hopefully work. Thanks to Napro. :-)

pwurple

So sorry for your loss. How many weeks were you do you think?

I found the CUMH confusing when I was miscarrying, exactly as you say, a lack of information. Sent home and told to come back if the pain was bad. I was somewhere between 11 and 14 weeks.

When I went back again they did a scan to check the contents of the uterus, to see if everything had passed. I was offered three options. Medication to speed up the process, an ERPC (evacuation of retained products of conception, formerly known as a D&C), or wait for things to take their course. They were spectacularly useless in advising in this regard, said they weren't allowed say if any would suit me better. I chose option 3. mainly because I didn't know if the medication was going to be full of hormones and would mess up my cycles... i asked about the contents of the medication, and he gave a pamphlet to me. (Gee thanks). I have a prolapsed bladder, so I didn't want to risk damage to that during the procedure. Wait it out was the last option left.

They said my cervix was open, and I had to come back every two days for more scans until it closed.

From talking to my friends, some of whom have had a few miscarriages, the earlier in the pregnancy it is, the less pain, and less need for a D&C. While they did my scan, I asked them to check my ovaries for cysts and they said all was fine.

Sorry can't be more help.

justaskin likeyakno

Hi,
Thank you for the replies.
In my haste and brain fog the title of this thread should have been advice for Tuesday morning!!!

Anyway, the story now is that, I am still hormonally pregnant but they can't find any evidence of a pregnancy anywhere. I was kept in for obs yesterday as I had sharp pain in the side. They sent me home when it subsided and I have to come back on Thursday to see if there is any further fall in the HcG, or whatever it is.
They said their main aim now is to prevent any further damage and until they can confirm there is no risk of ectopic i'ii have to go back every 2 days or if I get severe pain.( Fertility preservation protocol) at least I think that's what he said!!

They were very nice, all staff but I just can't bear another internal scan or exam, I feel like after 6 years ttc this has all but broken me.

It just feel like I can't even have a normal miscarriage, I'm not bleeding, my hormone won't go down, I only have mild period pain that doesn't last and if it hasn't gone down by 15% tomorrow thay are giving me methotrexate which is freaking me out as I have a few allergies and don't want to find out the hard way that i'm allergic to this too.

How ironic, I couldn't get pregnant and now I can't miscarry.
I have never felt so alone.

catrionanic

oh my heart really does to go out to you. you are going through the most difficult of times, and after all you've been through already it's only natural that this will be hitting you really hard.

having had no experience of pregnancy myself, i don't really have any words of wisdom to offer you. but i just wanted to make this post to let you know that i've read this and am thinking of you.

stickybean

Oh God justaskin likeyakno, thats really awful pet, nature can be so horrible sometimes. Fingers crossed you get sorted on Thursday xxx Thinking of you. take care x

pwurple

You poor thing. It sounds like they suspect ectopic. Is your husband being supportive? I know those scans can be really awful. Some of the people scanning are much gentler than others. Try and be as good to yourself as you can, time heals a lot of things, even this. I promise.

I worked like a woman possessed through my MC. Threw myself at work. Dosed myself with caffeine tablets and ibuprofen and did 16 to 20 hour days, anything to take my mind off everything. I don't know was it a good idea or not, but it got me through it. I couldn't even think about what was happening at the time without bursting into tears.

Tell them about your concerns with reacting to the drug on thursday.

barbiegirl

The one thing for certain is that you are not alone. We are all here for you. For some of us long termer's it is so, so hard but we all help one another through. Cry, rave, scream do whatever you need to do but cling to your partner, and understand he is suffering too.
Big hugs.

stickybean

Good luck today, hope it goes as well as can be expected xxx we're all thinking of you pet xxx

dechol

Hope u are ok. I had one miscarriage with very little bleeding but didn't need any invention in end.everything seemed to right itself naturally within a two week period. My heart aches for you at the moment. It is a horrible thing to go through. I did seem to be very fertile after miscarriage as I got pregnant within two months of miscarriage and had a healthy boy. hoping that happens to you too.Xx

justaskin likeyakno

Thank you all for the replies and support.

I was admitted on Thursday with pain after the hormone level wasn't down 10%, let alone the 15% they wanted.

So they confirmed an ectopic and gave me the methotrexate................eventually.

The whole experience has been a nightmare, from the hospital to finding out you really are on your own in this world.

There is absolutely no continuity with hospital staff, I was put into a day ward at the end of the corridor and it just seemed like they forgot about me. I had to ask for food, wasn't allowed leave to get a bottle of water as no one could have that ''responsibility'' on them. In the end I just went to the shop anyway, as they didn't even notice.

The last internal scan I had completely broke me down and I cried after it but at least my husband was there. As if getting the internal scan wasn't bad enough, I hadn't eaten/drank in nearly 24hrs, and then the printer ran out of paper for the scans so I was left akimbo while the doc went to find some, mortified.com!

They left it too late to scan me on Thursday evening, so the chemist was closed by the time they agreed on the methotrexate.
I had to wait until Friday morning and then when the doctor came around, muttered a couple of questions, disregarded the pain I mentioned and my medical history, he prescribed it.

That was about 9am. Another doctor who was there couldn't administer the injection as to add to the irony, was pregnant and couldn't handle such toxic material. However, by this point I was finding the situation, bizarre and comical. I was beginning to think Barbara Winsor (or whoever the one from the carry on films was.....showing my age now) would be giving it to me.

By 1pm I had to ask if I could have a drink of water only to find out I wasn't actually fasting and they had just forgotten me for breakfast. The nurse apologised and said they were still waiting for the porter to get the injection, at that point I offered to seek out the chemist and get it myself.

I finally got the injection at about and got out of there at 5ish. Thankful to be at home now even though I'm sick and in pain.

On the plus side, the midwives, nurses and doctors were helpful enough when you get your head around the fact that you are a number, a set of symptoms presenting at that particular time. They try to show compassion but I think they are just so desensitised it comes across as uncaring.

So back on Monday, for more tests, another meth shot if hormone is not down, and if it hasn't resolved by next Thursday it'll have to be surgery to remove the whole thing as I'ii be 8 weeks by then. I find it so hard to hear them say things like, we must kill off the pregnancy to prevent damage and that the pregnancy is not viable, I know this, but I just wish they'd call it something else.

Thanks for the rant.

pwurple

What an ordeal, I really feel for you. It is heartbreaking when this happens.

ILoveToast

I really feel for you
I had the worst possible experience dealing with doctors and nurses when I lost my baby, I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time.
No proper information was given as to what had gone wrong and they were completely unwilling to answer any of my questions and concerns.

Even not informing the community nurse properly to what had happened, I had a community nurse call me a week after the delivery, leaving a voice mail on my phone saying she wants to book in an appointment to come out and see me and my baby. Not sure how this is allowed to happen.
I even got a 6 week follow up appointment sent out from the hospital ffs.

We have now had to bring in a solicitor so as we can get proper answers from the hospital.

I can go on and on how badly we were treated, I'm just glad I had my partner there with me in the hospital.

Sorry for ranting but I just wanted to say that I am really sorry for you loss.

justaskin likeyakno

Thank you all.

I know each one of you are on your own journey too and all we can do is try help each other.

ILoveToast........
My friend lost her baby at a similar age and they had a post mortem/inquest or something done by the hospital, I take it that's not the case if you have to enlist a solicitor. I really feel for you and your partner, my thoughts are with you. It was a genetic defect but she went on to have a full term baby afterwards.

There is no communication whatsoever between departments even within the hospital. I got a call from the consultants office to see if I was going public or private with my pregnancy, she was mortified when I told her I was actually in the hospital with an ectopic and wouldn't be requiring his services. It wasn't her fault but I know there'll be post sent in the coming weeks for appointments I won't be needing.

Digs

I am so so sorry to read all you have been through I have no words of advice or comfort but I am thinking of you and hope things improve soon xxo

dechol

So sorry to hear about your loss and your hospital experience Xx