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kids every weekend

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  • 12-05-2013 3:58pm
    #1
    applesoranges
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭


    hi

    im just asking for peoples opinion and insight

    i work full time monday to friday.im no longer with my childrens mother.i take the kids every secound weekend fri to sat and fri to sunday the following weekend.and 2hrs on a week day.xmas and summer holidays also.what im asking is every weekend to much.i feel totally drained and never go out or have any me time.i was thinking of changing it to every second weekend for full weekend and other weekend to maybe few hrs on the friday evening.is this being fair.


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    #2
    applesoranges
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭applesoranges


    mod could please move to correct forum.many thanks


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    #3
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    I'm sorry to hear that being a part time parent is too much hard work for you.

    Sorry for your children I mean.


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    #4
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    I'm sorry to hear that being a part time parent is too much hard work for you.

    Sorry for your children I mean.

    Please do not attack the poster or make such unconstructive comments on this forum.


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    #5
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Well you do have every second Saturday off. What is stopping you going out and meeting people then?


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    #6
    CarMe
    Registered Users Posts: 677 ✭✭✭CarMe


    I know so many fathers who would love that much access. I'm a mother and working full time is my only "break"

    Tread very carefully OP, I can't think of anything more heartbreaking for a child than your parent trying to REDUCE time spent with you!


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    #7
    tayto lover
    Registered Users Posts: 51,938 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    You should sit down with their mother and tell he that you have a weekend away planned and ask if she could keep them for that weekend.
    Take the previous poster's advice as many fathers do not get enough time with their kids and would love to be in your position.
    BUT you do need an odd break, just do it diplomatically. Allow the mother an odd weekday break too as it's all about give and take and doing what's best for the kids.


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    #8
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,048 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Whether it's fair or not can only be decided between you and your ex. Many people will have many opinions, hut the only ones that really matter are those of you and your ex (and the kids!).

    Have you talked to her about it? What is your relationship with her like , are you civil?

    She might like the idea of having them for a full weekend herself. Because while she has full custody, Monday - Friday is usually busy. It's all go, between school, homework etc with very little fun time thrown in.

    How this works out for you will all depend on the spin you put on it... If you ask for 'time off' because you are drained and exhausted, you will be faced with a less than impressed full-time single mother.


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    #9
    2xj3hplqgsbkym
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭2xj3hplqgsbkym


    You have every evening to yourself, have some 'me' time then.

    You have almost every night to yourself, nobody crying or sick wakening you up when you have to go to work the next day.

    You should count yourself lucky to get to spend quality time with your children every weekend when you can just focus on having fun, not everyday stuff like rushing them to get ready for school, doing the grocery shoping and trying to keep then entertained, cleaning their rooms etc...

    You chose to have children.
    Its a bit late now to realise that it might be a bit inconvenient/ interfere with your social life.

    To only take them every second weekend would be incredibly selfish of you in my opinion.


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    #10
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Single parenting for any lenght of time is tough work. I understand you are getting worn out. Is there someone who can help you out at the weekends? Are your parents nearby?

    It would be a shame to lose this time with them because you are finding it difficult.


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    #11
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    OP, maybe you could organize for your parents to take over for a couple of hours every so often, I'm sure they would love to spend time alone with the kids if they don't get much of it, if that's an option.

    I really would not think about trying to reduce hours and maybe an alternative would be to have them for one over night during the week every second week instead of for full weekends?


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    #12
    mikehammer67
    Closed Accounts Posts: 699 ✭✭✭mikehammer67


    i had my 5 children fri sat and sun every weekend and maintenance 3-400 euro every week

    and working round the clock

    it is hard but switch off and play with the kids dont be selfish with your time


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    #13
    applesoranges
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭applesoranges


    now just to answer some of your questions.

    there mother doesnt work,now dont get me wrong i understand looking after 3 kids is a job in itself.which she is very good at doing.thats not an issue.

    as for child support,i pay this every week along with school,xmas,birthdays ect ect i have no problem with this either.

    as for evenings to myself,i work long hrs so its home dinner,shower and bed for me.

    as for the me time,its not togo out and meet anybody.my kids are my main focus.my kids each have there own room at my house.the me time is so i can
    paint,paper my kids rooms.stick up 1d posters peppa pig justin beiber so when my kids do come to stay it feels like ther own.

    and then maybe go have a pint or 2 in the local so i still feel alive.

    as for weekday overnite,its not possible with school.i live to far away.

    thanks again for all the replies,im taking them all on board.


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    #14
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,495 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    I know you can't have them during the week because of school. As a general point I think that is part of the problem with such arrangements, its is unnatural to have the children's only at at the weekends, it builds up an unnatural relationship with your children as they are only seeing you when it is fun/free time and they are with their mother for the school/routine time. They need to be with both of their parents for both parts of their lives.


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    #15
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Moonbeam wrote: »
    Please do not attack the poster or make such unconstructive comments on this forum.

    He asked for an opinion, not advice. Ok, granted I didn't choose the nicest way of putting it, but it's not right if we can only post 'positive' opinions. There's nothing wrong with civil criticism especially when the person asked for an opinion.

    There's lots of people who would give anything to spend more time with their kids, and he comes on here complaining about having to spend 2-3 days a week with them. It's bound to generate some criticism.


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    #16
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    He asked for an opinion, not advice. Ok, granted I didn't choose the nicest way of putting it, but it's not right if we can only post 'positive' opinions. There's nothing wrong with civil criticism especially when the person asked for an opinion.

    There's lots of people who would give anything to spend more time with their kids, and he comes on here complaining about having to spend 2-3 days a week with them. It's bound to generate some criticism.

    You know well by now not to argue with a moderators action on thread. Do it by PM. Also, the charter states to attack the post not the poster, it doesn't matter if he posted the most controversial post on boards.ie that rule still stands.


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    #17
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    I suggest you ask their mother how she feels the arrangement is, and if she would like some flexibility herself.

    Maybe she would like to take them for a weekend day.

    But if your kids were living with you you would still have to do the painting, etc, at the weekend.

    Are you honestly saying that you could not give each room 30 minutes each week day so that its ready for the weekend?

    Why not go for a pint on the Friday or Sunday night?


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