Duckfacing - You're doing it right.

sNarah

Duckfacing is a very important part of modern culture. Many an essay has been devoted to this fascinating naturally occurring event, where pretty girls attempt to attrackt members of the opposite species. When the lips are touted (this action is known as "duckfacing"), pheromones are released from a small gland inside at the back of the lips. This pheromone compels the other sex to immediately sense attraction towards the duckfacing individual. Many cases have been observed with a positive ending.

Squarewave

THE DANGERS OF DUCKFACE

The pheromones released by duckfacing can become addictive to some genetically predispositioned duckfacers. This results in the subject maintaining a permanent state of duckface, often at the cost of jobs, friends and dignity.


Fig 23: Subject suffering from Detrimental Duckface Dependency (DDD)

Fortunately many treatments exist for this terrible affliction including social ridicule, electroconvulsive therapy, and a strong slap applied to the face.


Fig 23+1: A non-invasive treatment for DDD

sNarah

Squarewave, whereas non-invasive treatment is often preferred, in some the duckfacing has become so present that other treatment is more effective. A recent essay from Dr. Goodenbach showed that Trepanation could lead to much better result in cases of chronic duckfacing.


Fig. 11 - Trepanation in chronic duckfacing patients

After drilling the first hole, surgeons can alter the frontal lobe and inject small electrical pulses, which alter the functioning of the upper brainsterm, where scientists believe the impulse for duckfacing is located. This method needs to be repeated every 4 hours over a period of 14 days in order to be effective.

Princess Peach

Am I doing it right?