22month old behaviour & punishments

qwertytlk

Hi,
Looking for some advice on behaviour and punishments for an almost 2yr(22months) old boy.
He is actually very good, polite, says please/thankyou and doesn't do anything bar this one thing to warrant a punishment.
And his thing is hitting. Now he doesn't do it hard or in a malicious way but sometimes he will slap my arm or even face. It starated about 5months ago. Straight away i started doing time out as a punishment. It was the first time id actually used time out as there had never been a need before. I was worried he was too young(17months at the time)but he seemed to get it so i continued on. He hated the time out and would cry, always ready to give a hug and kiss apology afterwards. The hitting soon stopped and only once in a blue moon would he do it then.

Now fastforward to the last 3weeks,its started again. Herein lies my problem. He will hit, ill give a warning, saying 'hitting is naughty,dont do it again or you will go in time out'
He hits again, so il repeat and say do u want to go in time out and he will actually say yes! So off he goes to his naughty spot. I give him just under 2mins. Before he used to cry to get out. Now he usually stands there. Il go over when times up and explain what's happened an ask for an apology-hug&kiss. He will say no, so il have to make him stay there. Ill give it a minute an ask again if he us ready to say sorry an come back to play, he will say no again so again he has to stay !! I think you see where im going with this. Anyway he has been there for 8-10mins on occasion.


I should mention he is in creche a couple of hours a day. I asked them if he was hitting alot and they said no, no more than any other child his age..
I dont know though as he Is my first baby and also the first in my family so i don't have anything to compare this situAtion to.
Someone else suggested it was just something to do with his age,' the terrible two's ' type of thing.

I know im doing time out correctly, i always stick to my guns, follow through on all warnings and ensure i get an apology etc.
I don't hit or smack him and absolutely won't go down that route so is there another form of punishment i might try that could help?

Im also wondering if this defiance is normal in such a young child? And is the hitting normal too?? I mean he really is very good and i don't think iv had to put him in time out for anything bar this!

So any advice,input,opinions from people who have brought up kids at that age/gone through similar or who know if all iv mentioned seems normal and nothing to be concerned about?

Thanks

ger vallely

Sounds to me(as a mam of 2 and a childcare worker)that you are doing the right thing. I would have thought that at 17 months he was too young to start time out, but you say he understood. You say his creche carers say he hits no more than any other child his age? They don't all hit,I'd question that further.It's the tiny minority that do. In saying that,it's not really a catastrophe. Keep communications open with the creche,continue to follow through with your actions. He is still a very young child, this should pass with patience and calm,solid correction. Defiance is totally normal in young children,it's exploring their boundaries. You sound like you are quite a natural!!You may look back on this in years to come and laugh, then again you may totally forget about this phase as so many more phases will come and go! I'd not worry too much about it but definitely keep on top of it with the correction and maybe praising the hugs and gentle behavior more. Best of luck!

qwertytlk

ger vallely wrote: »

Sounds to me(as a mam of 2 and a childcare worker)that you are doing the right thing. I would have thought that at 17 months he was too young to start time out, but you say he understood. You say his creche carers say he hits no more than any other child his age? They don't all hit,I'd question that further.It's the tiny minority that do. In saying that,it's not really a catastrophe. Keep communications open with the creche,continue to follow through with your actions. He is still a very young child, this should pass with patience and calm,solid correction. Defiance is totally normal in young children,it's exploring their boundaries. You sound like you are quite a natural!!You may look back on this in years to come and laugh, then again you may totally forget about this phase as so many more phases will come and go! I'd not worry too much about it but definitely keep on top of it with the correction and maybe praising the hugs and gentle behavior more. Best of luck!

Hi thanks,
Me a natural?!! Not to sure about that but nice to hear all the same. He is very gentle actually, i have a dog(had her before i got pregnant) an he is great with her. Hugs her, always wants to play an never pulls her hair/tail. That's why i don't get the hitting. Im a very affectionate person so lots of hugs,kisses, snuggles and i love yous are par for the course in our house..
I might brig it up with creche again ad you say.

Another thing i don't think i mentioned was that me an his dad are not together anymore so he stays with him on weekends. His dad wouldn't be as strict as. As in being persistent with time out even when he would be crying to get out. That did break my heart but i knew i had to be strong,follow through. Whereas dad would say he was too small &let him out. He is now regretting this an admits he shoud have been firmer as now our son will act up more wit dad than me.

So i said to him we both need to use the dame discipline style an stick to it. I just collects him today and did notice the difference as instead of having to start again for the first day or so, its been no problem.

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Is the hitting just for attention?

Perhaps you need to find an alternative discipline as he seems to like time out. Maybe take a toy or no treats?
A lot of people think time out is a waste of time.

My little boy exactly like yours used to cry at first, but then actually enjoyed time out. He is 2 and a half now and I still haven't found a great discipline method that works for him, he doesn't really care if I withdraw treats or toys!

If you find a solution please let us know.