If you could redesign the human body

jaffacakesyum

I'd get rid of the stupid appendix for a start. I'd probably redesign the whole method of vision too; Maybe add more eyes or have a visor type organ so that you can have 360 degree vision.

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

I'd definitely rethink male genetalia too. Have no problem with a nice looking cock :pac: but I'd design some different system for sperm as I just don't like large sagging ballsacks. Think God could've done better with that one.

What would you do?

Predictable responses: Bigger díck, boobs etc. :pac: (Don't get me wrong AH replies welcome and encouraged but be original )

wesf

little flaps to cover ear holes when your girlfriend is wrecking your buzz

Prodigious

A better brain is first on the list.

KeithM89

Fewer places for hair to grow, especially on women.

Dave0301

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I'd get rid of the stupid appendix for a start. I'd probably redesign the whole method of vision too; Maybe add more eyes or have a visor type organ so that you can have 360 degree vision.

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

I'd definitely rethink male genetalia too. Have no problem with a nice looking cock :pac: but I'd design some different system for sperm as I just don't like large sagging ballsacks. Think God could've done better with that one.

What would you do?

Predictable responses: Bigger díck, boobs etc. :pac: (Don't get me wrong AH replies welcome and encouraged but be original )

So you are anti ball sacs, but are all for some sort of visor organ around a person's head....riiiiiiight!

SimonTemplar

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I'd get rid of the stupid appendix for a start. I'd probably redesign the whole method of vision too; Maybe add more eyes or have a visor type organ so that you can have 360 degree vision.

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

I'd definitely rethink male genetalia too. Have no problem with a nice looking cock :pac: but I'd design some different system for sperm as I just don't like large sagging ballsacks. Think God could've done better with that one.

What would you do?

Predictable responses: Bigger díck, boobs etc. :pac: (Don't get me wrong AH replies welcome and encouraged but be original )

The ability to shut off you hearing (like eyelids for ears) would be nice for certain situations.

NothingMan

4 asses!

Nino Brown

Have you ever been on a plane or something, and you were dying for a piss, and parched with the thirst at the same time. Surely something could be worked out there.

seamus

Un-stubbable toes.

ScumLord

NothingMan wrote: »

4 asses!

I be content with fixing the one we have, 4 ases just means 4 times more hemorrhoids.

jaffacakesyum

Dave0301 wrote: »

So you are anti ball sacs, but are all for some sort of visor organ around a person's head....riiiiiiight!

It's only weird because it's not the norm. Remember, I'm talking about changes that would be implemented "at the dawn of time" so you'd know no better than having 10 eyes or beer nipples or whatever :pac:

donvito99

That you, Karl Pilkington?

jaffacakesyum

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

When women are not pregnant, they should be able to lactate beer. (When pregant, the system of milk is fine).

Surely milk comes into it's own AFTER the pregnancy part? It's not much use before the baby comes, now is it?

Unless you're too lazy to go the shops and you hate black coffee.

wesf

SimonTemplar wrote: »

The ability to shut off you hearing (like eyelids for ears) would be nice for certain situations.

I see you didn't read the whole thread!

Cody Pomeray

Surely some sort of in-built anti-gravity mechanism wouldn't have been a lot to ask.

And lazers. We need lazer eyes.

Biting the inside of your mouth should be impossible some way.

lahalane

No hair from the neck down.
No toenails.
Join all the molars, premolars, incisors and canines into one big, long tooth on top and bottom.

mikom

A system of shark teeth.

Fuck this "once they're gone, they're gone" bollox.

robman60

Main modifications I'd make:

-Somewhere around the diaphragm would have an in built air sack in case of oxygen deprivation.
-80% of your recommended calorie intake is burned to maintain body temperature and basic bodily functions, so the body having the ability to moderate its temperature in order to conserve energy.

Main point:
-Clean up the (w)hole defecation process. The "product" would be released wrapped in a cling film like substance produced by the body, no toilet paper required.

El Guapo!

A kind of built in thermostat so you can regulate your body temperature.

And I'd devise something that makes getting a kick in the bollox less painful.

KeithM89

No gag reflex would be great.
Maybe some wings too :P

El Guapo!

El Guapo! wrote: »

A kind of built in thermostat so you can regulate your body temperature.

You don't have this? Are you some kind of reptile?
You missed an evolutionary memo or something.

El Guapo!

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You don't have this? Are you some kind of reptile?
You missed an evolutionary memo or something.

Yeah. I'm fcukin freezin.

I meant so you're not too cold or too warm you can adjust it whenever you like!

jaffacakesyum

Deleted User wrote: »

You don't have this? Are you some kind of reptile?
You missed an evolutionary memo or something.

Yeh in fairness, the body is pretty amazing at temperature, water/salt etc. regulation.

Great ideas though lads, keep em coming. I'd love a pair of wings

DeVore

The human body is incredibly badly designed. I have to laugh at the "Intelligent Design" crowd, cos if this is the pinnacle of "God's" ability... he's crap at design.

I mean, who puts the "waste disposal" system beside the "playground".

jonnny68

Teeth that don't decay or rot saving having to visit rip off dentists, 7 fingers on each hand, 3D vision,

kraggy

Poo like a dog so we don't haveto wipe.

And some way for the wimmin to pee standing up so we don't have to wait for them while they're queuing for a much sought after cubicle.

jaffacakesyum

DeVore wrote: »

The human body is incredibly badly designed. I have to laugh at the "Intelligent Design" crowd, cos if this is the pinnacle of "God's" ability... he's crap at design.

I mean, who puts the "waste disposal" system beside the "playground".

I agree. But where would you put it?

*horror visions of **** vomitting out your mouth* :eek:

Maybe the belly button could be put to better use! :pac:

WinterSong

No periods, duh

The Backwards Man

I want a longer tongue.

Cody Pomeray

jonnny68 wrote: »

7 fingers on each hand

I agree with this one.

I've always felt that we don't truly have enough fingers.

Burlap_Sack

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I agree. But where would you put it?

*horror visions of **** vomitting out your mouth* :eek:

Maybe the belly button could be put to better use! :pac:

Index finger could double as a willy. Not sure where the sack would go though.

Cungi

DeVore wrote: »

The human body is incredibly badly designed. I have to laugh at the "Intelligent Design" crowd, cos if this is the pinnacle of "God's" ability... he's crap at design.

I mean, who puts the "waste disposal" system beside the "playground".

Some people like to play with the "waste disposal system"

Personally i think two cocks would be handy. As in one for each hand :pac:

Dr.MickKiller

Burlap_Sack wrote: »

Index finger could double as a willy. Not sure where the sack would go though.

Oops, I'm just after ejaculating on your sandwich there, let me wipe that you.

TheLastMohican

Men - corkscrew dicks

Women - corkscrew chachas

Both screws either left hand or right hand

Burlap_Sack

Dr.MickKiller wrote: »

Oops, I'm just after ejaculating on your sandwich there, let me wipe that you.

Win Win

666irishguy

Night-vision capable eyes that can see in other spectrum's, Lungs that can also breathe something other than Oxygen, Gills, Photosynthesis capable skin and extra cells that are stem type cells that can regenerate body parts. I'd also put in the ability to accept tissue from any other human.

TheLastMohican

666irishguy wrote: »

Night-vision capable eyes that can see in other spectrum's, Lungs that can also breathe something other than Oxygen, Gills, Photosynthesis capable skin and extra cells that are stem type cells that can regenerate body parts. I'd also put in the ability to accept tissue from any other human.

Surely the second last makes the last superfluous?

rolliepoley

There is only one thing i'd like to have, and that is gills, everything else is ok .

Remember this fella.

who_me

More powerful internals, so we can insta-pee and insta-poo. Takes too long as it is and cuts into drinking time. Just walk into the WC, boom, walk out. Oh, and it could smell nicer, and taste of strawberries. Not that I'd try it.

Bigger capacity too. Always hate the moment the seal goes on a night out, and you know you'll be back and forth every few minutes after that. Not quite sure where we'd put it, but it'd be nice to be able to store a night-full before having to go.

Plus, detachable genitalia. For the times you actually want to get stuff done without being obsessed with the nearest woman. This upgrade might be incompatible with the two previously mentioned.

Daveysil15

I'd design a different way to get rid of waste. Piss and poo are horrid. Life would be so much easier if you never had to use a toilet.

Fruit flavoured semen for the ladies too, so they'd be more inclined to give head.

Wattle

Why does hair grow in your ears as you get older? I'd change that. It's unsightly and weird.

snubbleste

I wouldn't put the recreation area next to the waste facility

Mariasofia

Id get rid of hiccups, like wtf are they about?

--Kaiser--

I'm pretty happy with the way my body functions but I could definitely use a less ugly face

SouthTippBass

I think everyone would benifit from having a stronger back, its usually the first thing to go. That and teeth.

Cody Pomeray

eyes painted on your eyelids, so you always look awake.

theidiots

Women should not be as moody, Women should not bitch and moan, Should be born without a tongue

mod: banned.

fergiesfolly

Eyebrows that grow to a certain length...and then stop.
Not like mine that seem to enjoy creeping up my forehead.
And a self cleaning arse. Like an oven.....but with less heat!

The Backwards Man

Some people should be born without typing fingers.

Stop eye lashes falling into eye.