Child access

lillost

I have a 3year old, who sees his father and stays with him 2 nights a week. We have been to mediation which nothing arised from. I work around his schedule - he will text me on a sunday to let me know what 2 days he is due to take him with very little notice. I am now getting court threats as he wants to take him for a week, which i dont think is suitable as his days are random and he can go a week or two without seeing him - no repetition. I would like to know how this would hold up in court or am i fighting a losing battle.

If someone has any ideas responses are muchly appreciated!!

ElleEm

How is your son with his father after such a gap? Would this week long stay be after a long gap or just a normal stint of time. What is their relationship like?
Kids are able to adjust quite quickly, his dad isn't a stranger. To be honest, your post seems more about you than your son and his dad.
I would think it's a great thing that your son has contact with his dad and him going on a little holiday for a week to his dad's could be great for their relationship, and would also give you a little rest.

lillost

No this is it, it is like he is in routine to go with him for 2 days he doesnt ask where his daddy is? if he hasnt seen him in 2 weeks. I work around him so that he does get the chance to know his son i would never take that away from him. But i just think a week is too long at this age I have suggested that he take him for a long weekend to build up his bond but this got thrown back in my face. Or am i being awkward???

Slyderx1

lillost wrote: »

No this is it, it is like he is in routine to go with him for 2 days he doesnt ask where his daddy is? if he hasnt seen him in 2 weeks. I work around him so that he does get the chance to know his son i would never take that away from him. But i just think a week is too long at this age I have suggested that he take him for a long weekend to build up his bond but this got thrown back in my face. Or am i being awkward???

you're being awkward

wmpdd3

I dont think you are being awkward, you know your son more that anyone. Has he stayed anywhere else for a week, I mean away from you.

Are you both guardians?

If you do go to court, you are better to sort everything in one go, maintenance, access, Summer holidays, Christmas, his birthday etc.

I think 5 days notice for an overnight stay is reasonable. I think if you have to organise your work life and childminding arrangements, then its is not unreasonable for you to have proper notice, if there is nothing really to organise then less so.

Slyderx1

wmpdd3 wrote: »

I dont think you are being awkward, you know your son more that anyone. Has he stayed anywhere else for a week, I mean away from you.

Are you both guardians?

If you do go to court, you are better to sort everything in one go, maintenance, access, Summer holidays, Christmas, his birthday etc.

I think 5 days notice for an overnight stay is reasonable. I think if you have to organise your work life and childminding arrangements, then its is not unreasonable for you to have proper notice, if there is nothing really to organise then less so.

Guardianship has nothing whatsoever to do with the Op's question. The test is; does the child feel comfortable and happy in the father's company ?then if so a week away is going to be of benefit to not only the child, the father gets to bond , the mother gets a break. Its a win win.
Going to court and plotting out a child's life with his parents like a multicolored chessboard is simply an admission of failure to communicate by the adults.

southeastg

Hi guys

As I'm in a similar situation I thought I'd add to this, I have my 3 year old daughter once a week , my ex wife will not allow overnights and is very difficult to deal with. Basically over the past 2 years I have had to swallow my pride and deal with this person to see my wonderful daughter . OP it's easy for ppl to criticise you for bad communication but until you are in the situation you can't understand. People assume that it's just a matter of sitting down and compromising, however you are assuming that both ppl are rational and level headed. This is simply not the case. They can be unpredictable and irrational . My ex went as far as to schedule an appointment with a child psychologist to prove her point about increased access. The psychologist was a bit vague but she did say that a week is too long not to see either parent . Her main point was that our child would take her cues from us , so she would pick up on our attitude towards a situation . I was only talking to my solicitor yesterday he is very good. He's basically saying to me that it is down to the individual judge and that most of them don't want to make a decision regarding access. They would prefer for the parents to sort it out between themselves . For me with my job I can't give much notice on any access during the week so I can understand where the father is coming from but he has to be fair . If he thinks he is goin to get better access terms going to court he will be sadly mistaken . He'll have to live with whatever the court throws at him , feel free not to answer but how is he with maintenance ? I've been paying 80 for the last 6 mths and 100 before that .