Hitting our dog

carrig2

My partner hits our dog when he misbehaves, hits him quite hard. He hits him if he goes away when called or if he rolls in something smelly. It really upsets me. In my opinion itis not working, it doesn't stop the dog from doing it. He says that the dog will eventually learn and that it is the way most people train dogs. I don't know cos I never had one before. It is really causing problems for us.

Mark Tapley

Every time your partner hits your dog , hit your partner , see if he/she learns anything. Probably they will learn that it is not nice to be hit.

Twoandahalfmen

Why hit your dog if he runs away or rolls in something. He's a dog it's nature. Next time he hits the dog hit him twice as hard. The dog didn't bite someone FFS.

mikemac1

You can judge a person by how they treat animals.

And anyway rolling and running is what dogs do!

YellowFeather

Could you please tell your partner, in no uncertain terms, to stop hitting your dog. What kind of a way is that to train anyone? Training a dog to behave in the way you want it to will take time - you can't expect it to go against its nature and just walk to heel every time it's out.

kathleenl

I agree with Mark. Hitting your dog is not the answer. Have you never heard the saying that "you catch more flys with honey than with vinegar". Well the same goes for your dog. Go to a library near you or to your local vet clinic and get a book on how to train your dog. Every trainer will tell you that you use the snap and treat to get your dog to do stuff for you. You can also get a book called "Dog Training for Dummies". Here is a simple video clip on how to train your dog to sit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtD2GRbbyzU The next time your boyfriend hits your dog... go get the sweeping brush and hit him a belt of it.

carrig2

Thank you all. I was beginning to feel stupid about this. The poor dog never acts agressive to him or anything. I can't stand it. You should hear him squeal as he hits him and hits him. I just can't take it from him much longer.

Stereomaniac

I have never had a dog of my own, but when I have had dogs in my life in the past, through friends etc. and they were left in my care, if I ever hurt the dog, i.e tripped over it, gave them a fright, I always made sure to apologise to the dog and reassure them. I mean, they scare quite easily I think if they are exposed to force. I can't stand violence against animals.

YellowFeather

carrig2 wrote: »

Thank you all. I was beginning to feel stupid about this. The poor dog never acts agressive to him or anything. I can't stand it. You should hear him squeal as he hits him and hits him. I just can't take it from him much longer.

Are you serious??? Look - whatever about what you have with your partner, you need to get your dog away from that situation - give it to a better home if necessary. Would it be ok if he was hitting a child again and again while it was squealing??

(I'd say you'd be well off leaving with the dog, but I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship.)

DBB

Hi OP,
What a horrible situation to be in
It's one thing everyone telling you to hit your OH... that's just silly, and it's not going to work. You're just going to keep going in circles.
What do you think would convince your OH to change his ways? Would he read books, or websites, which would tell him how it's done these days? The thing is, using physical "corrections" to train dogs was all the rage until quite recently, and indeed is still popularised by certain TV celeb dog whisperers botherers: it might be all your OH knows. But how amenable would he be to reading up on more modern, evidence-based, ethical dog training?
It might even be easier for you to get a professional to come to your home to do a one-to-one training session, for both your dog and your OH! This removes you from having to convince him, especially if he's not inclined to listen to you. A good, qualified trainer will show you both how to train your dog in a gentle but highly effective way, but will also be able to tell your OH why what he's doing is just going to do harm, and will NOT teach the dog in the way your OH thinks it will. They should be able to do this without belittling your OH either.
Is this something that might work?

Websites which might help him rethink his strategies include, for training: http://www.dogstardaily.com
And for rethinking the rough style of training: http://www.dogwelfarecampaign.co.uk

Dodd

If this is true.

You live with a person that thinks hitting something is the way to get what he wants.

He may do the same to you if you don't do as told.?

DBB

Okay all: can we desist from relationship counselling please? This is not the forum for it.
Also, no more advising the OP to use violence on her OH. It's hardly a sensible suggestion.
Realistic and sensible advice from this point on please.
Do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

Solair

Discuss it seriously !
I think you'll just have to 'reeducate' your BF on how to interact with animals.

There's really no other way to explain it. Hitting a dog (other than perhaps in a case if serious self defence) is totally wrong and very counterproductive.

You also risk the dog deciding it's had enough and responding violently (with teeth).

Dodd

DBB wrote: »

Okay all: can we desist from relationship counselling please? This is not the forum for it.
Also, no more advising the OP to use violence on her OH. It's hardly a sensible suggestion.
Realistic and sensible advice from this point on please.
Do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

If my daughter was going out with a guy like that I would give the same advise.

I don't agree with slap him......just leave him and take the dog.

Karl Stein

If your dog could speak he'd probably say:

'Why does he hit me? I'm not a bad dog am I? I don't feel safe around him.'

Protect him please.

YellowFeather

There's a big difference between:

DBB wrote: »

using physical "corrections" to train dogs

and

carrig2 wrote: »

You should hear him squeal as he hits him and hits him. I just can't take it from him much longer.

While I don't condone it, a smack to the nose when a dog is misbehaving (and, they know they're misbehaving - they have personalities too :P!), can be a bit of a deterrent to bad behaviour. Repeatedly hitting a dog, while it cries, for doing something that comes naturally to it is a whole different story, and absolutely abhorrent behaviour. It's abuse plain and simple.

DBB

Dodd, I have asked that you do not reply to my post on thread. It is against the forum charter to do so. I do understand how you feel, but I don't believe such comments are helpful to OP.
If you have any comment to make, please do so by PM.
Again, do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

Solair

You have to basically stop the behaviour or remove the dog and find a new home for it.

I'm not going to comment on your relationship but I would say if someone's displaying violence towards defenceless animals it does say a lot about how they think and act.

It's completely unfair on the dog to leave it in a situation where it's being abused and beaten up.

Either stop the behaviour or remove the dog from the situation. I'm not sure how else you could deal with it.

I would also caution that a nervous dog can become very aggressive / snappy if it feels its going to be beaten / attacked by people it may develop a fear of humans or just people that remind it if your bf.

That could result in someone being attacked. It's quite a serious situation.

I am pie

Please rehome the dog! If someone repeatedly beat a family member until they squealed it would be a legal issue.

Your partner should not have a dog.

DBB

YellowFeather wrote: »

There's a big difference between:



and



While I don't condone it, a smack to the nose when a dog is misbehaving (and, they know they're misbehaving - they have personalities too :P!), can be a bit of a deterrent to bad behaviour. Repeatedly hitting a dog, while it cries, for doing something that comes naturally to it is a whole different story, and absolutely abhorrent behaviour. It's abuse plain and simple.

I'm not denying that. Nowhere did I suggest that what the OP's OH is doing is anything short of abuse. I used the term "physical corrections" because that is what he believes he is doing, according to the OP. He believes that his actions are going to work to train the dog. He is using unacceptable physical means to train the dog.
I will disagree with you utterly on your comment about using a smack on the nose. It is never, ever necessary to lay your hands on a dog to dole out any form of punishment. Using your hands to smack a dog anywhere on it's body is setting that dog up to be suspicious of what human hands are for. That can have disastrous consequences.

YellowFeather

DBB wrote: »

I'm not denying that. Nowhere did I suggest that what the OP's OH is doing is anything short of abuse. I used the term "physical corrections" because that is what he believes he is doing, according to the OP. He believes that his actions are going to work to train the dog. He is using unacceptable physical means to train the dog.
I will disagree with you utterly on your comment about using a smack on the nose. It is never, ever necessary to lay your hands on a dog to dole out any form of punishment. Using your hands to smack a dog anywhere on it's body is setting that dog up to be suspicious of what human hands are for. That can have disastrous consequences.

You're not disagreeing with me DBB. I said I didn't condone that kind of behaviour (smack on nose). I was merely trying to differentiate between what most people would consider "physical corrections" and actual animal abuse (smack to the nose could be done with good intentions - beating a dog while it cries is abuse). In my eyes, neither is acceptable.

the_syco

carrig2 wrote: »

I can't stand it. You should hear him squeal as he hits him and hits him. I just can't take it from him much longer.

Then don't. You have three options;
Ask him to stop hitting the dog.
Rehome the dog.
Rehome the OH.

To be fair to the OH, he may have seen hitting the dog as a way to train the dog (from seeing other people do it, and getting results), but may not know when or why to hit the dog; timing is key.

Giving the dog a slap for doing something wrong the moment the dog does something wrong is one thing, and can be used to train the dog, but when you say

carrig2 wrote: »

He hits him if he goes away when called or if he rolls in something smelly.

I'm thinking the hitting may not be straight away. Thus the dog won't see a connection to it's actions and the violence, and thus it won't learn.

Dodd

For now I am not banned and would like to say to the OP get well away from the idiot.

You have the sense to look online and see if this is right and now know it is wrong.

You seem to have known it was wrong but wanted to be sure.

Take the dog and leave.

Mark Tapley

the_syco wrote: »

Then don't. You have three options;
Ask him to stop hitting the dog.
Rehome the dog.
Rehome the OH.

To be fair to the OH, he may have seen hitting the dog as a way to train the dog (from seeing other people do it, and getting results), but may not know when or why to hit the dog; timing is key.

Giving the dog a slap for doing something wrong the moment the dog does something wrong is one thing, and can be used to train the dog, but when you say

I'm thinking the hitting may not be straight away. Thus the dog won't see a connection to it's actions and the violence, and thus it won't learn.

Timing is not key. Not hitting your dog at all is key. The OP's OH is brutalising this poor dog .

wandatowell

Cathal Cloch wrote: »

If your dog could speak he'd probably say:

'Why does he hit me? I'm not a bad dog am I? I don't feel safe around him.'

Protect him please.

Calm down now,

DBB

Wantadowell, please note that back-seat moderation is not allowed.

I am closing this thread now for the night, chiefly to preserve my own and my fellow mods' sanity. OP, please let one of the mod team know when you're back online to answer some of the questions posed.
Thanks,
DBB