The most manly thing you did today?

Gambas

Meritocracy Wins wrote: »

I hugged my daughter and told her I loved her more than anything in the world. She is having a bad day.

Since when is lying 'manly'?

jimgoose

Gokei wrote: »

woke up with my daughters foot in my face, managed to scoop her up and transplant her back to her room without waking her.

As is the only thing I've done so far today, it's the manliest by default.

Wait 'til she's 22 with a black belt in Taekwon-Do. Now that will be manly!

Capt'n Midnight

starling wrote: »

CM given the amount of time I just spent laughing at your post, I do feel a bit guilty pointing this out, but:

-10 man points for knowing where sh1t is in the supermarket.:(

Memory is what made our species such effective hunter gatherers.

The trick is to use your skills. I know where the stuff in the supermarket is because it's where I tell them to put it. :cool:

Arawn

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Memory is what made our species such effective hunter gatherers.

The trick is to use your skills. I know where the stuff in the supermarket is because it's where I tell them to put it. :cool:

actually our ability to run prey to death and sweat to cool down at the same time is what made us such good hunters

Crooked Jack

I fixed my car this morning. Well, i cellotaped the wee tube that carries water to the wipers. But I got to roll up my sleeves and look like i was doing something complicated under the bonnet. Even got a wee bit of oil on my hands, which i wiped with a dirty rag.
The I had a morning glory boner on the whole drive into work. It was very uncomfortable but about as manly a thing as you can do.

Crooked Jack

jimgoose wrote: »

Not a patch on the gentle, barely-audible "TICK" from a torque-wrench as you dial in exactly 95lb-ft putting them back on, though. In the words of the great Tim Allen: Ugh-Ugh-Uuuugghhh!

What about the crack of sticks as you break them over your knee. Or the sound of cracking your knuckles before doing something.

Prettyblack

Carefully selected and put on a freshly ironed shirt, affixed the cufflinks in a single motion, tied my tie into an awesome knot, belted my trousers, chose a pair of manly brown brogues, slipped my suit jacket on, placed my wallet and phone in each inside pocket, checked my reflection once in the mirror, and strode out the door like the king of the world.

Crooked Jack

Prettyblack wrote: »

Carefully selected and put on a freshly ironed shirt, affixed the cufflinks in a single motion, tied my tie into an awesome knot, belted my trousers, chose a pair of manly Grenson brown brogues, slipped my suit jacket on, placed my wallet and phone in each inside pocket, checked my reflection once in the mirror, and strode out the door like the king of the world.

That's not manly, that's stuff your mammy makes you do. Tsch.

smoking_kills

Arawn wrote: »

actually our ability to run prey to death and sweat to cool down at the same time is what made us such good hunters

And shotguns improved the process no end

Prettyblack

Crooked Jack wrote: »

That's not manly, that's stuff your mammy makes you do. Tsch.

Oh its manly. If you do it right.

jimgoose

Crooked Jack wrote: »

What about the crack of sticks as you break them over your knee. Or the sound of cracking your knuckles before doing something.

That cave-man stuff is all well-and-fine in its place, but sometimes it's much more challenging and rewarding to listen for the grasshopper at your feet.

Crooked Jack

jimgoose wrote: »

That cave-man stuff is all well-and-fine in its place, but sometimes it's much more challenging and rewarding to listen for the grasshopper at your feet.

why? Is he gonna rob you or something? The bastard!

BabyMonkeyy

I got out of bed

topper75

Prettyblack wrote: »

Carefully selected and put on a freshly ironed shirt, affixed the cufflinks in a single motion, tied my tie into an awesome knot, belted my trousers, chose a pair of manly brown brogues, slipped my suit jacket on, placed my wallet and phone in each inside pocket, checked my reflection once in the mirror, and strode out the door like the king of the world.

AAAhhm. Yeah. Striding down the road singing some song from a musical.

jimgoose

Prettyblack wrote: »

Carefully selected and put on a freshly ironed shirt...

Ironing is banned in my house. In fact, anyone who brings an item of clothing into the premises which requires more breastfeeding than a six-week-old gets beaten swiftly about the noggin with a copy of Hilliers and has to commute to work/college/methadone clinic on a spacehopper for a week to learn the clod about efficiency an' that.

smoking_kills

Opened a can of paint with a butter knife....

jimgoose

Crooked Jack wrote: »

why? Is he gonna rob you or something? The bastard!

Impossible. Here is actual footage of my typical morning commute to work. I am so Bad-Arse I even get a soundtrack:

Prettyblack

topper75 wrote: »

AAAhhm. Yeah. Striding down the road singing some song from a musical.

Yes cos only the gays dress themselves in clothes. :rolleyes:

There's a whole other side to manliness my friends. Putting on a pink shirt and getting away with it is manly. Because you are SO DAMN MANLY and sure of your sexuality.

tmc86

I put up a dresser without reading the instructions.

I then threw the new allen keys in my man drawer and they disappeared into a sea of random keys, tape measures and nuts and bolts.

Madam

I took the rubbish out:)

everdead.ie

I went to fix the bathroom sink that has one of those annoying plugs you have to push on a thing behind the tap to get working.

Anyway dropped the bit that I was trying to fix down the sink and replaced it by bending a coat hanger into the right shape and cutting to the right length using my tools(actual building tools I bought).

And it works man conquers sink!

Crooked Jack

Prettyblack wrote: »

Yes cos only the gays dress themselves in clothes. :rolleyes:

There's a whole other side to manliness my friends. Putting on a pink shirt and getting away with it is manly. Because you are SO DAMN MANLY and sure of your sexuality.

http://backstagebusiness.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/hartfoundation.jpg

Gambas

I went out for lunch with my wife and I told her to get her own desert, and I was having none of this two spoons business.

Gweedling

I might go up to the attic today.

Gweedling

FTA69 wrote: »

-100 man points for shaving.

How to shave your beard like a man

tony 2 tone

I didn't shave today, for the 33 day in a row. And I only shaved then for my brothers wedding.

Mr.Prodston

tony 2 tone wrote: »

I didn't shave today, for the 33 day in a row. And I only shaved then for my brothers wedding.

Come back to me when you're on day 99 :cool:

MadsL

Cuchulainn1. wrote: »

It's when you get a blunt 6" knife,stretch the skin on your face and cut off the hair that grows there.

Thats how us manly men do it anyway!

Err, no. Us really manly men keep a sharpened piece of obsidian to do the job. When I'm feeling otherwise badass I shave myself (and others) like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK3I1utxgNM

FTA69 wrote: »

-100 man points for shaving.

but +1000 manpoints for shaving like a badass.

MadsL

Gambas wrote: »

I went out for lunch with my wife and I told her to get her own desert, and I was having none of this two spoons business.

Did she go for Gobi or Kalahari?

thehomeofDob

I haven't shaved since December 16th 2012. I also changed the speedometer drive on my motorbike yesterday. Manly.

**Vai**

I vomitted repeatedly and DID NOT CRY!!!

norrie rugger

Couple of pints of Metal Man Pale Ale with roast lamb roll in The PorterHouse, for lunch

Call Me Jimmy

Gave the man working on the gates a drink of orange juice with ice . Proxy manliness, which I suppose is just straight up womanly.

Frank Black

Had to drive the wife's Mini Cooper into work today.

Did I forget my sunglasses? - Yes, I did.
Did she have a pair in the car? - Yes, she did.
Were they pink? - Yes, they were.


Put some Led Zeppelin on the stereo and drove to work in as manly a manner as possible under the circumstances.

Gambas

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Gave the man working on the gates a drink of orange juice with ice . Proxy manliness, which I suppose is just straight up womanly.

Man working on the gates? Another man working on your gates? Say it ain't so?

The only way this is manly is if they are prison gates that you destroyed with your bare hands yesterday while breaking out.

starling

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Memory is what made our species such effective hunter gatherers.

The trick is to use your skills. I know where the stuff in the supermarket is because it's where I tell them to put it. :cool:

Dear Captain Midnight,
We are pleased to refund your incorrectly deducted Man Points (TM), and add a 5 MP bonus for being funny, another manly trait as we all know.
Yours, etc
The I.M.F. (International Manliness Fund)

starling

Gambas wrote: »

Man working on the gates? Another man working on your gates? Say it ain't so?

The only way this is manly is if they are prison gates that you destroyed with your mickey yesterday while breaking out.

Fyp

Sofiztikated

To be fair, an iron IS a power tool, and a properly ironed shirt is manly x 1000.

discus

Sofiztikated wrote: »

To be fair, an iron IS a power tool, and a properly ironed shirt is manly x 1000.

GTFO

starling

Sofiztikated wrote: »

To be fair, an iron IS a power tool, and a properly ironed shirt is manly x 1000.

Also the unexpected juxtaposition of "ironing" and "breastfeeding" has unaccountably got me imagining actuall using boobs as irons. I can't decide if that is more or less manly :P

Capt'n Midnight

Crooked Jack wrote: »

I fixed my car this morning. Well, i cellotaped the wee tube that carries water to the wipers. But I got to roll up my sleeves and look like i was doing something complicated under the bonnet. Even got a wee bit of oil on my hands, which i wiped with a dirty rag.
The I had a morning glory boner on the whole drive into work. It was very uncomfortable but about as manly a thing as you can do.

Now is probably not the best time to mention that cellotape is not waterproof

starling

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Now is probably not the best time to mention that cellotape is not waterproof

I have heard that real men always go straight fo the duct tape, no shilly-shallying around with this Sellotape nonsense. Not actually sure about whether duct tape is waterproof tho.

Capt'n Midnight

jimgoose wrote: »

That cave-man stuff is all well-and-fine in its place, but sometimes it's much more challenging and rewarding to listen for the grasshopper at your feet.

When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.

Capt'n Midnight

starling wrote: »

I have heard that real men always go straight fo the duct tape, no shilly-shallying around with this Sellotape nonsense. Not actually sure about whether duct tape is waterproof tho.

No it dries out eventually

Self amalgamating tape is the mutt's nuts.

Mr.Prodston

starling wrote: »

Also the unexpected juxtaposition of "ironing" and "breastfeeding" has unaccountably got me imagining actuall using boobs as irons. I can't decide if that is more or less manly :P

I'll be over with a few...um "shirts" that need "Ironing" in an hour or so

MadsL

Sofiztikated wrote: »

To be fair, an iron IS a power tool, and a properly ironed shirt is manly x 1000.

*adjusts monocle*

Yes, but in order to be properly manly you have to have your "man" do it for you, preferably whilst you concentrate on finding the source of the Nile whilst avoiding cannibals and headhunters.

Tonyandthewhale

Imparted wisdom to younglins.

--Kaiser--

Some of you need some inspiration for manliness it seems.
Here's a double barrelled shotgun load
http://www.amazon.com/Alphabet-Manliness-Maddox/dp/0806535229

SeanyboyQPR

Aced English paper two

mooman

Prettyblack wrote: »

Carefully selected and put on a freshly ironed shirt, affixed the cufflinks in a single motion, tied my tie into an awesome knot, belted my trousers, chose a pair of manly brown brogues, slipped my suit jacket on, placed my wallet and phone in each inside pocket, checked my reflection once in the mirror, and strode out the door like the king of the world.

You forgot your car keys...or do you take the bus? Damn sissy!

I got up this morning, pulled a wrinkly old shirt out, pulled on my old blue jeans, chose my only pair of steel toe boots. Placed my wallet and phone in the same pocket, my car keys in the other. I ate 2 dry sticks of Weetabix before driving my beast of a car to work for a 12 hour slog working a job only a man could do before coming home in a ball of sweat to find steak, chips and a glass of milk sitting at the table waiting for me to devour.