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Do I have to let her in

  • 31-05-2013 9:44pm
    #1
    Buck
    Registered Users Posts: 250 ✭✭


    Hi guys, just found out that my wife met a man in Italy during a recent holiday and is leaving me now. She's heading to him for a week starting tomorrow I've tried everything to rescue the marriage to no avail. Am gutted and heartbroken after a whole 18 years together.
    My question is - do I have to let her back in to the house when she comes back next week? The mortgage is still in both of our names but I am really tempted to change the locks.
    Any help appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    kabakuyu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,563 ✭✭✭kabakuyu


    Sorry to hear,this marital problems are not easily resolved,but she is co owner and quite entitled to enter her own property ,talk to her and then seek legal advice.


  • #3
    Payton
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭Payton


    Buck wrote: »
    Hi guys, just found out that my wife met a man in Italy during a recent holiday and is leaving me now. She's heading to him for a week starting tomorrow I've tried everything to rescue the marriage to no avail. Am gutted and heartbroken after a whole 18 years together.
    My question is - do I have to let her back in to the house when she comes back next week? The mortgage is still in both of our names but I am really tempted to change the locks.
    Any help appreciated.
    Do not change the locks...you'll find yourself in a lot of trouble. If as you say the mortgage is in both names she has every right to come and go as she pleases.
    You really need to seek legal advice from a family law solicitor.
    If you really think the marriage has failed well you need to start to concentrate on yourself...your not going to get into her head and figure out what's going on. Life does go on, it may get rocky but there is hope.
    Best of luck.


  • #4
    Buck
    Registered Users Posts: 250 ✭✭Buck


    Thanks for the advise guys.


  • #5
    Daidy2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 109 ✭✭Daidy2011


    Payton wrote: »
    Do not change the locks...you'll find yourself in a lot of trouble. If as you say the mortgage is in both names she has every right to come and go as she pleases.
    You really need to seek legal advice from a family law solicitor.
    If you really think the marriage has failed well you need to start to concentrate on yourself...your not going to get into her head and figure out what's going on. Life does go on, it may get rocky but there is hope.
    Best of luck.

    I found myself in this situation 7 years ago. I was asked to leave the house (should never have done that :eek:) and within 2 weeks my ex-wife had changed the locks. Although I complained to my solicitor (who, unfortunately wasn't exactly a shining light when it came to representing me), nothing changed and there were no repercussions for her. I still pay 2/3rds of the mortgage as well as considerable child maintenance and have no access to the family home.

    OP not suggesting you follow my ex-wife's example and do this. As others have said get legal advice, hopefully someone better than I did.


  • #6
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,306 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Buck wrote: »
    My question is - do I have to let her back in to the house when she comes back next week?
    Do you have kids?


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  • #7
    Twoandahalfmen
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 769 ✭✭✭Twoandahalfmen


    I tell you what. If I ever got divorced and was left paying the mortgage and being kicked out of the house, I would stop paying and let it be repossessed.


  • #8
    Daidy2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 109 ✭✭Daidy2011


    @Twoandhalfmen - I also considered doing something similar but the problem with that is your future credit rating would be adversely affected so it would come back to haunt you in the end.


  • #9
    Twoandahalfmen
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 769 ✭✭✭Twoandahalfmen


    Daidy2011 wrote: »
    @Twoandhalfmen - I also considered doing something similar but the problem with that is your future credit rating would be adversely affected so it would come back to haunt you in the end.

    Tell the bank it's not my house anymore in banned from it leave it to her.


  • #10
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    Twoandahalfmen wrote: »
    Tell the bank it's not my house anymore in banned from it leave it to her.

    The bank would reply with a more jargon filled version of "do you think we came down in the last shower". Once you're on the mortgage it's next to impossible to come off without clearing the debt.


  • #11
    Caonima
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 772 ✭✭✭Caonima


    Sorry for this slightly crass reply, but on a personal note I think you should have some young wan in the bed with you when she gets back from Italy.

    But you can't change the locks, but at least you'll have a week on your own to get your head straight and make a decision what to do.


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  • #12
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Caonima - please check the dates on threads you reply to. Also keep your advice helpful, while crass if followed it would only inflame an already fraught situation.

    As the OP has not been back to this in 3 weeks we are closing it. OP if you need it reopened please contact the mods.


This discussion has been closed.
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